The Strawberry Girl

Prologue:

If you were to ask me what’s the greatest invention in Man’s history I would, and without any hesitation, confirm that it can be none other than vending machines. And if you were to argue on which type would get the top spot then the answer is simple; I love all my children equally.

Whether it’s the one that dispenses the perfect snack after a long day, or the one that soothes my parched throat with a cold drink, each has its own place in my heart. They’ve been with me through thick and thin, offering both comfort and convenience.

The only regret I have in my life is that the nearest vending machine is a solid 20 minutes away from my house, the path that takes me to the vending machine is a long boring one that has a steep incline that makes my movement more strenuous in each step. I always tell myself that if I had a car, it would take me only 10 minutes, or about 2 minutes before I crash the car into a tree.

I have believed in vending machines’ supermercy for as long as I have been alive, I worshipped it for years and put all of my trust in what it’s capable of. And if it's like in Suzumiya Haruhi where aliens, vampires, time travelers and sorcerers were real then they would put their curses on every vending machine they encounter just as a form of jealousy of what humans can accomplish.

It's not like I’m a believer in supernatural phenomena nor do I possess the ease of mind necessary to trust in such logically unbelievable experiences. But if aliens, vampires, time travelers and sorcerers were to exist, then I would be the first to humbly volunteer in whatever human experiments they want to do. I'll do anything to leave this city and experience something beyond the mundane. My daily life feels like a broken cassette, always on repeat and never moves forwards, if I keep on living this way I might turn into dust before I live to see my youth come to a conclusion.

Well, that I think of it, my youth has always been an ordinary one, I'm successfully leading a life in which its moving elements aren’t by any means neither chaotic nor too dramatic.

Not too fast paced for me to get dazzled, to get lost in the moment and let it pass by, yet not too slow paced to the point where I feel stagnant and trapped in monotony. It has been rather gloomy and straightforward. In other words, I'm barely living a life of a human being.

Mine has never been a life of much extravagance nor has it been one of much action. A mere bleak painting that lacked vibrant color.

Strangely, whenever I attempt to pick up the brush and start painting, I end up failing miserably. A feeling of inadequacy overwhelms me, as if I'm incompetent, as if I'm undeserving, and I fall into an abyss of despair and despondency

The longer I indulge in social interactions and activities the more I find myself facing a harsh reality. I have concealed my feelings from the outer world so much that I became unable to confront those emotions, I now am uncapable of receiving and understanding any face of human affection, of genuine connection, the warmth that people tend to offer doesn’t reach me at all.

Now I have become a stranger not only to other people, but to myself as well.

That's when I start fading away, into nothing, into oblivion. As the breeze washes my face gently, I barely feel able to do anything but acquiesce to the numbness

For the most of it, I never actually thought about how to spend my youth, how to get the most out of it. I just blindly lived through the days, taking each one for granted, as months and years filled with nothing but solitude passed, a mild urge inside of me started building, a weird thought started popping in my head. If aliens, vampires, time travelers and sorcerers were to be real, if supernatural phenomena where people possess superpowers and the earth faces to wrath of black magic (or any other type of magic) was to exist, then, and only then, I might be able to feel something genuine.

That little drive grew steadily over time, and I finally found it.

this ordinary life of mine is on the verge of finding the spark of change.