Chapter 5:
Bitter Sweet Toxic (English version)
Kulaphat walked into her usual coffee shop last night, unable to sleep as thoughts of Lalin swirled endlessly in her mind. She sat down, staring blankly at the hot green tea in front of her, feeling overwhelmed by confusion.
"Why are you sitting alone?" A familiar sweet voice called from behind.
Kulaphat turned to see Lalin standing there. Without asking, Lalin sat down across from her. This coffee shop used to be their regular place.
"It's my business," Kulaphat replied coolly, trying to hide her turbulent emotions.
Lalin glanced at the green tea in front of Kulaphat. "You still drink only green tea," she remarked in a seemingly casual tone, though her eyes hinted at something more. Kulaphat, a person who disliked change, knew exactly what Lalin was implying... Was she saying she still liked the person in front of her just as before?
"But maybe I've already changed," Kulaphat responded calmly, concealing her inner turmoil. She picked up the hot green tea and poured it into the trash can right in front of Lalin, showing no concern. Then, she slammed the empty cup down in front of Lalin and walked away. Lalin managed to grab her wrist in time.
"We should talk things out, Phat," Lalin said seriously.
Kulaphat glared, her eyes filled with fury. "We broke up already. What more do you want?" she snapped, pulling her hand away from Lalin's grip. It was unbearable for Kulaphat. Lalin looked at Kulaphat with pain in her eyes.
"You still love me, don't you?" she asked with a trembling voice.
Kulaphat laughed coldly. "Why even say that? It's over, so let it be."
"But you act like you still want me to be jealous," Lalin tried to justify herself.
"Ridiculous," Kulaphat replied harshly.
"Then forgive me, Phat. Let's be friends again," Lalin pleaded. The word "friends" felt like a sharp knife cutting deep into Kulaphat's heart. She moved closer to Lalin, so close she could feel her breath on her face, her body trembling with suppressed anger and pain.
"If you wanted forgiveness, why only say it now?" she asked, her voice cold and bitter. "Or are you just afraid that Irene will find out what you did to me? Just say it straight, then."
Lalin hesitated, and Kulaphat laughed mockingly. "You're afraid of Irene finding out, aren't you?" she taunted, her voice dripping with scorn.
Lalin's anger flared. She had never seen Kulaphat be this cruel before. "This isn't like you, Phat. What would it take for you to forgive me?" Lalin's voice trembled, tears welling up in her eyes.
"Never," Kulaphat said firmly, her voice reflecting her inner pain.
"What do you want me to do, die? Would that satisfy you?" Lalin asked hopelessly. Kulaphat paused and turned back, a bitter smile on her face.
"In such a hurry to die? It's more fun for the three of us to stay like this," Kulaphat replied with a mocking tone, a sneer curling her lips, but inside, she felt as if her heart was being torn apart.
Lalin's patience snapped. Her usually gentle hand swung up swiftly.
*Slap!* The sound of the slap echoed throughout the coffee shop. Kulaphat's beautiful face turned with the force of the blow, a red mark appearing on her fair skin.
Before Lalin could react, Kulaphat dragged her into the shop's bathroom. No one could intervene in time. Kulaphat locked the door as soon as they were inside, her hands gripping Lalin's shoulders tightly as if to control her every move.
Lalin could feel her heart pounding from fear and anger. She struggled, but Kulaphat pushed her against the cold bathroom wall. Kulaphat's hands tightened on her shoulders, and the softness of Lalin's body, trembling under the assault, only made Kulaphat grip harder.
"Let me go, Phat!" Lalin shouted, but Kulaphat ignored her. Her eyes still burned with an anger that wouldn't fade. She leaned down and kissed Lalin again, this time not just with fierce intensity but with a burning desire.
The kiss crushed Lalin's lips with violent passion. Her breathing became labored, but she couldn't escape. Kulaphat's body blocked her every movement, her lips moving all over Lalin's face.
Then, Kulaphat's hand slowly caressed down Lalin's neck, along her jawline, and further to her shoulder. The softness of her touch, coupled with the pressure filled with desire, made Lalin feel the restrained intensity of it all.
"Phat... stop," Lalin murmured, her voice hoarse from the turmoil inside her. She could feel the desire hidden within her own body, making her even more confused.
Kulaphat didn't respond. She simply pressed her lips against Lalin's shoulder and bit gently, creating a mix of pain and pleasure. Lalin's body trembled uncontrollably.
Her hands tried to push Kulaphat away, but they were firmly held. Kulaphat moved closer until their bodies were pressed against each other. Her hands roamed over Lalin's body, touching every place that had once made Lalin feel loved, but now it was full of pressure that had never been there before.
Kulaphat finally pulled away when she sensed that Lalin was weakening. She stared at Lalin's face, wet with sweat and tears. Lalin's eyes were filled with confusion and fear, but also with something deeper that made Kulaphat smirk before leaning in to whisper softly in her ear...
"Let's hurt together, Lalin," her voice rasped. "I won't be the only one hurting this time."
Kulaphat stepped away from Lalin, leaving the bathroom. She left Lalin standing there, lost in her feelings. But once out of sight, the tears Kulaphat had held back finally streamed down her cheeks. She sat down, feeling pain coursing through her heart. Kulaphat knew that Lalin no longer loved her, but why did her heart still yearn for love from that person, who had never truly loved her, not even for a moment?
---
Lalin sat on the sofa, lost in thought. The events from yesterday at the coffee shop replayed over and over in her mind—the intense kiss and Kulaphat's hurtful words lingering like an unwelcome echo.
Irene, noticing Lalin's unusually tense expression since early morning, chose not to pry too much. Instead, she decided to cook breakfast, hoping it might help lift Lalin's spirits. She carried the plate of homemade food over to the sofa, surprising Lalin, as it was usually Lalin who took care of her.
"Why are you being so sweet today? " Lalin complimented, trying to hide the guilt gnawing at her insides.
"You've done so much for me, Lalin. I wanted to do something for you for a change," Irene replied with a warm smile.
"Does this mean I have to eat it all?" Lalin asked with a small, forced smile, trying her best to act normal.
"Yes, you must eat it all and get those cheeks even chubbier," Irene teased, watching Lalin take a bite and chew with puffed cheeks. But then, Irene's smile faded slightly when she noticed the sadness in Lalin's eyes. She knew something wasn't right.
"Lalin?"
"Yes?"
"If there's something bothering you, you can tell me," Irene said softly, her voice gentle and sincere.
Lalin looked up at Irene, her eyes filled with guilt and hesitation. "I just want us to talk things through reasonably, no matter what happens," Lalin requested, her voice shaky. She didn't know when the secrets of her past would come out or how the person in front of her would react. But if it was going to end, she at least wanted the chance to explain.
Irene gazed at Lalin with love and affection. She could sense Lalin's discomfort, but she still believed in her.
"Yes," Irene replied with a warm smile, "No matter what happens, I will always listen to you."
---
By evening, Lalin reluctantly had to return home because she had a dinner appointment with her family. Even though she didn't want to leave Irene alone with Kulaphat, she repeatedly told Irene that she would video call right after dinner and that Irene should stay close to her phone at all times.
However, while Lalin was away, Kulaphat suddenly suggested they go for a swim.
"We haven't gone swimming together in ages. What made you want to do it tonight?" Irene asked as she watched Kulaphat, who was standing by the pool, smoking.
In truth, Kulaphat wasn't someone who smoked, but ever since she broke up with her old lover—the one Irene didn't even know the name or face of—the only thing that seemed to help her unwind was a cold mint-flavored cigarette.
"I can't sleep," Kulaphat replied.
"What's bothering you?" Irene squinted her eyes at her friend.
"Nothing, just feeling bored," Kulaphat dismissed her question.
Something seemed off about Kulaphat... Irene thought. She knew her well enough to sense that her friend was hiding something.
"And... How are things with Lalin?" Kulaphat asked, causing Irene to feel surprised that her best friend seemed unusually interested in her relationship with Lalin.
"It's good... I think," Irene answered hesitantly.
"Why? What's up?" she decided to ask directly.
Kulaphat hesitated for a moment before brushing it off. "Nothing, just curious."
She seemed deep in thought for a while until she finally spoke. "Irene, if I told you that I liked you more than a friend... what would you do?"
Irene was taken aback by the question, her heart skipping a beat. She stared at Kulaphat, trying to read her expression, but all she saw was a mix of sincerity and pain.
"Stop messing with me like this, it's not funny," Irene said seriously.
---
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Search name : Bitter Sweet Toxic or Hojicha Studio (English version)
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