Extra chapter: The Cartoon Universe

One moment, I was floating in the endless beyond, meditating on the meaning of absolute existence. The next, I was plummeting through a swirling vortex of colors, reality twisting and stretching like someone had cranked physics into “cartoon logic” mode.

What the hell?

I landed with a comical boing on a grassy hill. Wait… boing? That wasn’t normal. I should’ve landed with absolute force, shaking the very foundation of the cosmos, not… bounced like a rubber ball.

Something was wrong.

I stood up, dusting myself off—only to see a giant POOF of dust appear, complete with a ridiculous “TADA” sound effect. I blinked. That definitely wasn’t normal.

Looking around, I finally took in my surroundings.

Bright, overly saturated skies. Rolling hills that looked like they were drawn rather than real. Floating objects that obeyed no laws of physics. Trees with googly eyes that followed my every move.

I sighed. "You have got to be kidding me."

I was in a cartoon universe.

And not just any cartoon universe. One bound by slapstick logic.

I tried snapping my fingers to rewrite reality. Nothing happened.

I tried folding through dimensions. No response.

I even tried erasing the concept of ‘tooniness.’ Nothing changed.

My powers… were still there, but it was like they were being translated into cartoon logic. Instead of rewriting reality, I’d probably just turn a character inside out—and they'd pop back like a balloon. Instead of erasing something, it would just poof into a pile of dust and reappear seconds later.

I rubbed my temples. "Okay. Stay calm. Think."

Who trapped me here?

Why?

And more importantly—how do I get out?

I started walking, or at least, I tried to. The moment I took a step forward, I suddenly skidded across the ground like I had stepped on an invisible banana peel, my feet moving before my body caught up. I stopped myself just short of crashing into a wooden sign that read:

"Welcome to Toonville! Population: Who's Counting?"

Beneath that, in smaller letters:

"RULE #1: No logic allowed!"

I groaned. "Great. Just great."

"Well, well, well! Look what the cat dragged in!"

I turned toward the voice, only to see…

A walking, talking, 2D-animated rabbit.

Big ears. Giant buck teeth. Wearing a bowtie, no less. He was grinning like he just won the cosmic lottery.

"You new ‘round these parts, pal?" he asked, tipping an invisible hat.

I stared blankly. "No. I just love getting randomly thrown into ridiculous universes with no explanation."

The rabbit let out a cartoonish HOO-HOO-HOO laugh, his whole body bending like rubber. "Ohh, you’re a funny one! We’re gonna get along just fine."

I resisted the urge to vaporize him—not because I couldn’t, but because it wouldn’t do anything. He’d probably just poof back with an exaggerated gasp and say, "Wowza! That tickled!"

Instead, I crossed my arms. "Okay, Bugs-wannabe, where am I? And how do I get out?"

The rabbit stroked his chin. "Hmm… Lessee… You’re in the great ol’ Tooniverse! Home of sight gags, wacky hijinks, and absolute nonsense!" He grinned. "And as for getting out? Good luck! Nobody leaves Toonville!"

I narrowed my eyes. "Nobody?"

"Noooobody!"

...Right. That was a challenge.

I needed to know exactly how bad this situation was.

First, I tried flying. Instead of soaring through the sky like usual, my body stretched like a slingshot and snap! I flung straight into a cloud, which was somehow solid.

Second, I tried opening a portal. Instead, a giant cartoon trapdoor appeared beneath me, and I fell through it—only to come out of a random painting on a wall.

Third, I tried warping time. A giant alarm clock appeared, slapped me in the face, and shouted: "NO CHEATING!" before vanishing.

Okay. That was annoying.

This place wasn’t just bound by toon logic—it was actively enforcing it. My usual abilities were still here, but they were being translated into jokes. I was playing by someone else’s rules.

That meant one thing: Whoever created this universe didn’t want me to leave.

And that really pissed me off.

As I was debating whether to just nuke the entire place (knowing full well it wouldn’t work), the sky suddenly darkened. A massive shadow loomed overhead, and a booming voice echoed through the world:

"WELL, WELL! LOOKS LIKE WE’VE GOT OURSELVES A NEW TOON!"

The rabbit beside me gasped. "Oh no, it’s HIM!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Him?"

The clouds split apart, and descending from the sky was a massive, godlike cartoon entity.

He was dressed like a classic 1930s animation villain—tall, lanky, with exaggerated features, a swirling mustache, and a top hat. His grin was impossibly wide, his white gloves gleaming as he gestured dramatically.

"I AM KING GAG! RULER OF TOONVILLE!" he declared, his voice shaking the very fabric of the world. "AND YOU, MONA FRY, ARE NOW ONE OF US!"

I glared up at him. "Yeah, no thanks. I'm leaving."

He laughed, a deep, booming cackle. "OH, YOU THINK YOU CAN LEAVE? ADORABLE! BUT TOONVILLE HAS RULES, DEAR! IF YOU WANT OUT…" His grin widened. "YOU HAVE TO BEAT ME IN A TOON DUEL!"

The rabbit beside me gasped again. "A Toon Duel?! But that’s impossible! He always wins!"

I cracked my knuckles. "Yeah? Well, I always win too. So let's see who wins harder."

King Gag’s eyes twinkled. "EXCELLENT! THE RULES ARE SIMPLE: WE BATTLE USING NOTHING BUT TOON LOGIC! FIRST ONE TO BE ERASED FROM THE SCRIPT… LOSES!"

I smirked. "Fine by me. Let’s get this over with."

"LET THE TOON WAR BEGIN!"