New Day - 5

5

The day after going to the mall was quite strange, and that is something I would not usually say. Since the day I linked my emotions to the mask, many strange things have happened in my life, but that Sunday nothing happened.

I took a bath, ate something, brushed my teeth... It was just ordinary stuff. Looking for something to do I ended up studying for a few hours, and when I got bored with that I went for a run, but when I finished there were still hours left in the day. I had no idea what to do.

I offered to help my mother with whatever she needed, but she said there was nothing, that it was better to use the day to relax and let my head rest.

The truth is that I tried, but it was not very easy. After the ending that my last experience trying to make friends had, I could not stop my thoughts from wandering and ending up at Lani.

My attempts to get closer to her seemed to be paying off at the beginning of the day, and it stayed that way until just before the end. But, after a mistake on my part, it was over.

I did more than I needed to and ignored Lani, whose connection to the OV was apparently more complicated than I thought. There was still a lot I did not know about her and trying to learn was not an easy task.

For me, thanks to my mask, that kind of issue could be solved in seconds, for example by reading her mind. But that would be a huge invasion of their privacy and I would not feel right about doing it.

The best thing, perhaps, was to ask her directly. That is, if she did not lose all her desire to talk to me at that moment. I was willing to try, but the problem was that not everything depended on me.

It was a complicated situation, one I intended to face with composure, but I could not help feeling worried that someone was afraid of me.

That feeling was horrible. It weighed more than a bag of rocks and stung like pouring lemon juice and hot sauce over a tongue wound.

Mom, like a good mother, must have noticed that something was going around inside my head again, and so I received an invitation from her. A text message arrived on my cell phone.

Milia: "Son, are you doing anything Monday afternoon? They told me about a place and I wanted to go see it."

Twen: "Excellent! Let's go!"

...

On Monday, even though it was becoming a habit for me, I did not join the usual four people for lunch. I could not just do it as if nothing had happened.

However, I was thinking about them on the way home, and also while I was studying in my room, and when I went to the bathroom, and when I was putting on my shoes to go out with mom....

It was already five and something in the afternoon and at that time we were both free. So mom got in the car and turned the key, and I sat in the seat next to her.

Obviously, in the time it took us to reach our destination, I was thinking about Lani's case and how I should act the next time I saw her....

But, at some point, I began to believe that it would be stupid of me to go through with it. It is not that I had stopped caring, but that was neither the right place nor the right time to pursue it.

Mom told me that I should relax, and then she invited me to have lunch with her. This was a mother-son situation, the kind you should take advantage of, and I did not want to miss such an opportunity because of something like mental rumination.

Consequently, I put a stop to those thoughts and decided to do what I really had to do on that occasion: Relax and enjoy myself.

Twen: Mom... Thank you so much for inviting me! And by the way, you told me you were recommended a place, but not what we were going to eat there. What do you have in mind?

Milia: Something sweet...

There was something else I was not able to forget, even if I tried: My life, at times, seemed to be part of a comedy.

As I got out of the car, I was surprised to find that the X-Café kept the lights on for its customers, and we were going to be part of them.

Twen: This place... I've been here before, and I like it. Whoever recommended it to you has good taste.

I was happy to see the surprise on my Mom's face and the smile that formed on her lips. However, she soon seemed uncomfortable that it was not going to be a new experience for me, so I had to block that idea out.

If that was what she wanted, then we were going to eat there. That was decided.

There was still a chance that Lani would not be working that day, and even if I did run into her it would not be the end of the world.

I was the first to enter the X-Café and Mom followed me from behind.

On that occasion we chose a table on the second floor. Climbing the stairs, we both looked from one side to the other, although most likely she only noticed the pleasant atmosphere and not the faces of the workers like I did.

I was relieved to sit across from my mom, grab a menu and not see Lani's blonde hair anywhere. I was able to think about what I really wanted at that moment, and by that I mean my mom and food.

I remembered things I saw the first time I was at the X-Café, like the prices and variety, and even a specific cake that I thought of recommending to mom as soon as I saw it.

Twen: Look, how about this one? Since you like peaches, I thought you might be interested.

It was a peach cake that was unlike any I had ever seen before in life, and it had a very interesting color. Mom must have had a similar impression to mine when she saw it, for it seemed that her eyes began to sparkle.

That cake was quickly added to our order. The next few minutes were spent picking out what we were missing and commenting on what we liked about the place.

Mom raised her hand to attract the attention of one of the waiters she saw coming up the stairs (which were behind me), so we could place our order. Once that person was next to us, Mom greeted her by waving her hand cheerfully.

Lani: Good afternoon, what would you like to order today?

Fear:

As quickly as a shiver running down my back, my mask turned pale and slightly bluish. It became thinner and more elastic, as if it were a large layer of skin peeling off a frozen corpse. Slowly it began to fall off, so I had to hold it with one of my hands over my face.

Lani: Wow... Is everything okay, Twen?

Twen: Yes, of course, everything’s fine. Thank you... I didn't know you were working today.

Lani: Of course I do. I work every Monday, Wednesday and Sunday.

Twen: Oh... Perfect...

Mom watched curiously from her seat, not really understanding the reason for my reaction. However, we made it clear to her that we knew each other and she was not going to forget that so easily.

I, for my part, cleared my throat and ordered. I tried to act as if nothing was going on and Lani continued as if that was really the case, which left me possibly more confused than before. Then she went back down to the second floor.

She was smiling as radiantly as she had a week ago and it had even been her who asked me if I was okay, though perhaps not with the same context in her head.

If I was certain of anything, it was that I had no idea what to do.

Because of what I had promised Zena a few days ago, and also what I felt for thinking that Lani was afraid of me, I was going to keep trying to find the solution to that problem.

However, I was in the middle of a mother-son situation, and it was also true that Lani looked strangely fine about everything. I wanted to take it easy and not rush, but a very sudden opportunity presented itself to me.

So, what was I supposed to do...?

After a few seconds of thought, my first step seemed obvious.

I had a nice dinner with my mom, with food of the highest quality and many things to talk about, although I did most of the talking, as was usual between us.

Things like the times I ran into Many in college or the bear I played with that one time and ended up cutting my hand were mentioned. I also heard about problems and gossip at my mom's work.

It was simple but nice, which suited us best.

Sometime later our table emptied, but we remained there. We had no reason to rush home. Besides, I still had business at the X-Café.

Lani approached us again. This time, however, she was no longer wearing her apron, but her typical white sweater that almost covered one of her hands. Her hair, on the other hand, was still in a high bun.

Lani: How was it? did you like it?

Mom and I responded simultaneously by giving a thumbs up in approval, without saying a word.

Lani: You two must be family....

Twen: Yes. She's my mother, and like me she fell in love with X-Café.

Lani: I am Lani, nice to meet you. I'm glad to hear you are enjoying the coffee.

Mom was glad to see Lani again, especially with the polite way she spoke to her. There was a strange aura surrounding them both.

Twen: By the way, Lani... Are you going home already?

Lani: Yes. My shift ended a while ago, so I went to change my clothes to leave, but I thought I would stop by to say goodbye first. To be honest, I had an interest in the person accompanying you.

The excitement was obviously mutual. Mom only took her eyes off Lani to look at me, paying attention to the way we interacted.

When we exchanged glances, she reached out to grasp my hands, conveying a message that was clear to me.

Twen: Mom, I think you're getting the wrong idea....

Lani stopped looking at me when Mom said that, but it is not like we were inside a romance novel and she looked away because she was embarrassed by what my mom thought…

Actually, she was looking at our hands, probably because she noticed what I was wearing on my wrists.

The chain bracelets that Lani and Zena gave me were there. I had not had them for a long time, but saying I wore them daily would not be wrong.

I thought about it for a few seconds, being brought back to the problem that initially bothered me... But this time, unlike the others, I was able to think of something useful.

I looked at mom and smiled at her. Admittedly, a mask was covering my face, but she understood exactly what I was doing and what I wanted to ask her. Accordingly, she winked back at me and got up from her seat.

Milia: I will go to the bathroom.

Lani: What a nice voice... I mean, the bathroom is on the first floor, behind the staircase.

That reaction was, in fact, very common among people hearing Mom speak for the first time.

Mom looked like she had a mission to accomplish, even if she was actually doing nothing more than going to the bathroom. But that was because, while doing so, she left me and Lani alone.

Maybe I was going to create a little misunderstanding with my mom, but I thought it was worth it if I could solve my problem. All that was left was for me to do my part and hope that luck (if such a thing existed) would be on my side.

Twen: I'll wait outside. I want to get some air and see the plaza at night... Lani, would you like to join me and talk for a bit?

Her eyes widened as a strange sensation paralyzed her, but she quickly came to herself and was able to respond.

Lani: Sure...

That way, we left the X-Café together.

Since it was already dark, the air had turned a bit chilly, and the X-Plaza seemed like a totally different place at night. It was so quiet that I could hear our footsteps, first on the asphalt and then on the dirt.

Lani walked while undoing the bun in her hair, while I looked around. We walked side by side and without saying anything to each other (it was a bit awkward) until we reached the statue in the center of the plaza. That was the first time I saw it up close.

It was a large monocle, in honor of the former scientist "Joseph John Ruben" who had linked his emotions to a similar one. Beneath it was an inscription I had read in many books before:

"In this world, full of small worlds within it, thinking that we will never know one of them completely is terrifying, but it is also true, and that is precisely why it becomes our greatest motivation."

It was an interesting phrase, although I did not fully understand it. I wondered what Lani would think about it, from the point of view of someone without an OV.

I thought about asking her, but...

I was taken by surprise by the sudden expression on her face. She looked too sorrowful and regretful, with her eyes full of tears and her lips trembling.

Twen: Lani?! What's wrong? Are you ok?

Lani: I'm just... I'm just... I'm sorry! I'm really sorry!

Twen: What are you even talking about?!

The tension that had been building for a while finally caused Lani to burst, and it happened so quickly that it made me feel nervous. Since she could not see well while wiping away her tears, I helped her to the nearest bench and we sat down.

Twen: Calm down, take a deep breath… And tell me, what's going on?

She took the time she needed to be able to speak properly, and before she started to say what she had to, she lowered her gaze to the ground, as if she were about to confess something she was disappointed in.

Lani: At the mall… Outside the arcade, when your mask turned red… I acted like a real idiot. You even tried to help me, but I panicked and ran away from the place…

Twen: Lani, about that…

Lani: And then, when I came back to try to sort out what had happened, you were already gone. I thought we weren't going to see each other again, and I would have totally understood that, but…

That… It caught me off guard. Lani came back , after being so scared and after I had left the mall too.

That detail changed a lot of things and gave me something to think about, but I did not have time to do it. As if my last two days had not been confusing enough…

Lani: I'm really sorry.

Twen: You… Wait, no. Lani, it’s my fault that-

Lani: Not at all! I'm the one who panicked, and only because... Well... The thing is, you didn't do anything wrong.

Twen: Wow… And there it is again.

Lani: Huh ?

To be honest, I still was not entirely convinced about bringing up the subject. It was clear that this was going to be a turning point in our future friendship, and the possible consequences of what I did made me hesitate.

However, the last time I hesitated and decided to do nothing I ended up regretting it for days, and they say you should learn from your mistakes.

Twen: Lani, I've been thinking for a while… No, I’m completely sure that you're hiding something from me, and if this keeps up, it won't be good for anyone. I need to get this straight...

Lani: That's…

Twen: Lani, please… What is it that keeps this barrier between us standing? … What do you think about my mask?

Judging by her reaction, and everything reflected in her eyes, I had hit the nail on the head. Once again, too many things had come into play, and I had to be careful how I acted. I did not want to let my mistake repeat itself.

Lani: If I tell the truth, you might hate me…

Twen: We can't know that until you answer me... Although, to be honest, I find it very unlikely that I'll come to hate you just for this.

Lani: Then… Well, at this point…

She was also undecided, no doubt about it. But after she put her hands in her hair and cleared her face, it seemed as if that indecision had been overcome.

Lani: Twen, it's clear that seeing your mask doesn't brighten my day, but I want you to know that my problem isn't with you specifically, but with object vinculation in general... The OV... I dislike them. I even think I hate them.

Twen: You hate the OV…?

Lani: Things like flying or reading minds, super strength or healing wounds, anything is possible for someone with an OV and that makes them amazing beings. But for someone like me, who can spend their entire life striving to become something that will ultimately be nothing more than a shadow of their powers… It's a bad joke. It's embarrassing.

Dwelling on those thoughts must have been irritating. I saw her frown in a way I had not seen many times before in my life. She looked filled with anger and pain.

Lani: Every time I think about the things you guys could do, and I remember that I could never compete against people like you no matter what I do, I feel useless… Twen, at what age did your bond with your mask form?

Twen: At eight years old.

Lani: So you don't know what it's like to grow up as an average human in this world…

I could not deny her that. Even though I had been surrounded by people without an OV all my life, I could never really put myself in their shoes, because I no longer remembered what life was like without being able to rely on my mask at all times.

Lani: Having a bond with an object has countless benefits. That idea has been in my head since I was little, although initially it was just admiration. My disdain came as I got older… At the age when I started to question the kind of person I wanted to become, a boy in our class linked to an object.

That meant a huge change in that person's life, without a doubt. But that was not what mattered to us at that moment, but rather the changes that were happening around him.

Lani: Initially I was happy for him, because it was a great achievement, if you can call it that… But I admit that I also felt a bit envious when I saw him bragging about his powers. Sometimes, maybe too much… Thinking about him made me feel like I was a failure if I wasn't able to at least compare myself to him.

This was not a situation I could imagine. I had never had to deal with anything like that before, so there was nothing I could do but listen.

Lani: So I started trying hard to learn and improve in everything I knew. I started doing some sports and studying more seriously to improve my grades. When I turned sixteen, Mom joked about letting me work at the X-Café, but I insisted that she actually do it without stopping to think about it first…

Twen: So, that's why you got your job?

Lani: Honestly, it's not like I hated all that… I enjoy working at the X-Café. I've learned a lot and I have new goals now, but doing so many things is also a bit tiring… And that can't be easily ignored, right? What do you think?

Twen: Me? Well, I think there are a lot of reasons why breaks are necessary. All human beings have to… We have to know our limits and be careful not to overdo it.

Saying those words was surprisingly difficult for me. Just mentioning our boundaries created a lump in my throat, as I truly felt like part of the problem.

Lani: I'm grateful to have had Zena and my family close to me, because they helped me to always keep one foot on the ground. I understood that there are things I can't do alone, even though sometimes I feel it's embarrassing and humiliating… Look at this, for example.

Twen: I've seen that before...

A small red sphere. She held it in her hand, which was almost covered by her long sweater, and she brought it closer to me to show it to me, looking into my eyes as she did so.

Lani: It's a stress ball... It's kind of weird, but my body tenses up when I get nervous, especially my hands. It's been really helpful for me, although I was hoping to stop relying on these things and not buy them anymore after I graduate...

Twen: After you graduated… Then you wouldn’t have to see that person you mentioned, the one who got an OV, every single day, right? But you ended up buying one anyway…

Lani: Well, I didn't expect to meet another one so quickly...

Not only did my arrival remind Lani of her helplessness, but it also happened shortly after she thought she was rid of the problem. She tried to get away from that negativity, but I dragged her back to square one.

I thought about what Zena (who knows Lani much better than I do) had said: Becoming her friend would be a big help to her.

However, after learning how deep the hole I had fallen into was, I no longer had any idea how I could do it.

Twen: I should apologize too… Appearing out of nowhere and having the issue you just got rid of come back to you, it really is-

Lani: But it's for the best! I can't just run away from this problem... Twen, I want to learn, improve... I know that feeling what I feel is stupid. It's unpleasant, for me, for you... For everyone who has an OV. Or don't you think so too?

In her hands, the small red sphere deformed. The more she spoke, the more force she applied and the more anger I could hear in her voice. What shocked me most was knowing that her hatred was not really directed at anyone but herself.

Lani: You are human too, a person like any other, except for the fact that you were lucky enough to bond with your mask, which gives you countless opportunities… And what is my response to that? I became envious. Also fearful, and resentful…

Twen: But to be honest, I think you have plenty of reasons to feel that way. I wouldn't say it's stupid.

Lani: But you don't see Zena acting like me, do you? Or Jean, or Noe, or anyone else… And it's not like they don't know what the OV are. They know what it's like to have an omnipotent being by their side and still live in mediocrity, but they don't let the idea overwhelm them…

That really sounded like a challenge, and it made me think of how many times others must have felt the same way. How many had suffered at my expense, while I carried on without noticing?

Lani: Twen, I…

Twen: Lani…

Lani: I'm tired of feeling like this every time I think about the OV… And that's why you coming to Novadía is something very important to me. If there's anyone who can help me, it's you…

As she said that, Lani was unable to look me in the eye. And I, for my part, did not feel able to do so either.

My mask had begun to flutter, but it never quite transformed, as it did not really know what design to take. There were many, many things going through my head at the moment.

I had to stop and think. For a couple of minutes, which for Lani only felt like a second, I dedicated myself to sorting out all the ideas that had come to light.

Lani's fear, shame and envy towards the OV…

Feeling trapped in mediocrity, being undoubtedly more successful than others, and the rewards of one or another's efforts…

A mark that had been forged inside her for years, a person seen as guilty of that, and the reflection of this situation in other lives…

But, perhaps most importantly at that moment was Lani's struggle to cope with this dilemma, and being unable to do so because of her own thoughts.

After listening to Lani confess more honestly than she had initially expected, I learned a lot. Not only about Lani, but also about the view other people might have of me, or someone like me.

However, as hurt as she was, Lani still was not convinced about asking me for help, and I could guess why: It was selfish.

Even if there was some basis behind her way of thinking, she seemed to regard it as a problem she had because of her own stupidity. So, asking someone she had just met to take the time to help her just did not make much sense.

I initially thought the same thing. I really questioned what it would mean to become Lani's friend and the reasons why I should do it…

And at that moment, with a better view of the whole picture, and trying to understand what Lani had experienced, I was able to complement my answer. And it was no different from the previous one.

Twen: Lani, I really appreciate your honesty… Would you allow me to be as honest with you?

Lani: Sure…

Twen: Well… I think, in a way, you are someone admirable.

Lani: What? … Are you trying to cheer me up?

Twen: No, no! I'm serious! Please let me explain…

I was surprised by the way she looked at me with her eyes red from crying, so I was especially careful when explaining my words.

Twen: You said that person in your class made you feel inferior, like your efforts in life were meaningless, right?

Lani: Yes…

Twen: Well, of all the decisions you could have made, you chose to make an even greater effort. And, although you said that for a moment it was somewhat obsessive, today you continue walking the same path, but in a more conscious way. The fact that you still have a job at your age is proof of that.

Lani seemed to understand the point he was trying to make, but she did not seem to agree. Maybe, to her, it sounded like empty praise.

Twen: Then there's your thoughts on the OV... You yourself consider it ridiculous and you don't like it about yourself. And again, you decided to make an effort to change it. You still haven’t done it, and maybe you can't accomplish it on your own, but the intention is still there.

It was possible that many people had already said the same things I had just said, and with the same intentions.

If I stopped to think about it, then I would say that even if she had heard it many times before, doing it once more could always be helpful. However, it was also likely that such words had lost their weight.

Twen: I think I'm aware of how lucky I was to have bonded with my mask. I've learned a lot of things from it, but not all of them are so good… For example, I learned that we can all be assholes inside, including myself, although some more than others, of course… And also, I learned that life is not a game or a battle. No matter what happens, there will never be a winner.

Those were not the softest words I had ever said. Lani looked hurt to hear them, but she did not want to interrupt me or say anything, because she was clearly paying attention.

Twen: For many people, going an extra effort might not make any sense if it's not absolutely necessary. But still, there are people who give their all to keep moving forward, step by step… And I think that anyone who acts like that is worthy of respect.

With her head down and not looking at me, Lani seemed annoyed by the thoughts that were currently running through her head. She continued to squeeze her stress ball tightly.

Twen: Lani, the path you chose is a tough one, but you've taken it so far and it has definitely paid off. That's why I think you're admirable, and I want you to believe that too…

Her hand finally stopped making that red sphere suffer.

Twen: If after all I've just said you're still willing to put in the effort to change the way you view object vinculation, and to eliminate that which you find unpleasant about yourself, then I…

As I said that, I extended my hand towards Lani, and she quickly and forcefully shook it. Her red sphere fell to the ground.

Twen: … I’ll be happy to help you.

Lani: Twen… Thanks…

My heart rejoiced at her answer and I could not contain the smile that formed on my cheeks behind my mask. The black and white object began to shake.

Lights of green, violet and light blue colors came out of the ground and floated around us, filling the night with color.

But it was not the time to let myself be carried away by that emotion.

I simply picked up the sphere from Lani, handed it back to her after cleaning it up a bit, and then sat back down next to her.

She stared at the red sphere for a few seconds, and at the colors floating beside her, in silence. Then she gave a deep sigh and leaned her back against the back of the bench. She really seemed to have gotten rid of some weight.

The tension that had initially escalated so quickly had just disappeared in that same way. We reached an impasse, as we noticed how impressively quiet our surroundings were.

Lani: Twen… This talk was more in-depth than I expected.

She wiped away her own tears and tried to clear her throat before speaking, but the fight she had just had could be heard in her voice.

Twen: You can say that again. When I left home I thought I was going to eat meat with my mom…

Lani: That's right! What is she doing now?

Twen: Apparently she's choosing what to buy to take home...

Lani: So she's supporting the business, that's good… But please tell her I'm sorry for keeping her waiting so long.

Twen: I will… Although I think that's enough apologies for today.

Speaking of my mother, there was still something to sort out with her. From her point of view, my conversation with Lani must have had a much more romantic approach than it actually had.

It was a misunderstanding, but I would resolve it another time.

By that day, enough doubts had been cleared up.

Lani: Okay... Now what? Aren't you going with her?

Twen: Oh, yeah, sure... See you soon then.

Lani: See you tomorrow!

Yes, that was enough for that day… But, in the future that awaited us, there was still a long way to go