Crash Landing

A true interstellar pirate flies among the stars free of any authority. We always escape the police unscathed, and we’re never planetbound for long.

That said, this story begins with me failing as a pirate in every regard.

—

The blaring alarms filled the cockpit. Red lights strobed from the gauges. All the while, I was grinning maniacally.

“This is the most fun I had in awhile! Whadd’ya think, boys?”

The holographic images of my two colleagues’ faces materialized to the right of the cockpit, just within my vision. The first was a tough man sporting a red mohawk and a scar down his face. The other was a more refined looking person, though the genetically modified goat horns sticking out from his head broke the illusion. Underneath their visages were their code names: Grimlock and Longhorn respectively. They were displeased. Much less entertained than I was.

“You’re an idiot, Kai!” Grimlock screamed. Ahead of me, I saw his ship roll to avoid a barrage of laser fire. “You’re the one who got us caught! Now they’re gaining!”

The rear cameras of my ship were busted, yet my radar showed the troop of Interstellar Police right behind us. Leave it to them to have ships that perform better than our junkers!

“This was a simple job,” Longhorn said. He was calmer, but audibly annoyed as well. “Yet you had to get all greedy.”

“That’s what a pirate’s supposed to do, innit?” I responded with a grin. They both grumbled.

They were partly right, though. We were above the planet Asthixios-3. Most people called it Xios though. It once harbored a megalopolis covering most of the planet’s surface, though some war had destroyed it long ago. That didn’t mean the remaining rubble and scrap was useless however. Multiple companies harvested the leftover steel, electronic components, and whatever else, eventually selling it. Our job was to steal that and sell it for ourselves.

The freighters usually had half a dozen storage silos attached to them. We were only going to bust one open, funnel the material into our ships’ quantum storage units, then make a quick escape.

But that particular silo was only half full! I wasn’t about to leave with so little material!

A rogue laser hit my ship’s left-side thruster, killing it. Another set of alarms and lights went off. I careened to the side, narrowly avoiding Longhorn’s ship.

“Hey, watch it!” he exclaimed, showing a rare crack in his calm demeanor. Why was he so perturbed? His ship was bulkier than mine; it could've taken a hit. Probably.

“My left thruster’s out!” I yelled back.

“Serves you right!” Grimlock added.

I flipped some levers in the cockpit, activating my backup thrusters. I was about to retort when their holographic faces fizzled out. The police must’ve interfered with our comms! However, that didn’t negate my secret weapon!

I tuned into a different holographic frequency. It worked as expected, and at the edge of my vision, the face of another being materialized. They were notably not human. They instead sported the almost rectangular face, and the reddish skin of the Ora-Kurai. This particular one wore the trademark white sailor hat and grey military uniform of the Interstellar Police Force. On their hat was the badge of a troop leader.

Their holographic visage glared at me in the cold manner standard of the Ora-Kurai.

“Heyy!” I greeted, giving him my nicest smile. “You’re doing great. But you’re really going hard at this—my ship’s nearly destroyed!”

No response. These guys never beat around the bush, so there was no point in doing the same. I sighed.

“You haven’t gone all noble on me, have you? The agreement was that you would take out my colleagues here, and let me go with all the loot. You’re acting like you’re trying to kill me here!”

“And if I am?” the Ora-Kurai man responded. The bluntness left me shell-shocked. Seeing my silence, he elaborated: “The agreement was that you would destroy one silo. You destroyed a second. The agreement has been reneged.”

“What?” I questioned, turning to face the hologram. “I’ll pay you double then, how’s that?”

Silence again. I grumbled and hit the dashboard of my ship. Without another word, he sent a hail of lasers my way. I swerved upwards to avoid them all.

Suddenly, Grimlock’s face appeared in the holographic display. Longhorn’s face materialized soon after. They processed what they saw, then Grimlock screamed, “Why’re you on police comms?! You absolute buffoon!”

The police officer interjected, “You paid us to dispatch your friends. If that wasn’t dishonorable enough, you broke your end of the deal, Kai.”

“What?!”

“I see.”

I froze as my colleagues reacted to the news. The merciless police officer continued, “To the friends of this betrayer, I pose a deal: point your arms towards him, and we may look the other way upon your indiscretions today.”

“Deal, man!” Grimlock spat.

Longhorn seemed reluctant, so the police leader explained, “The Ora-Kurai value honesty above all else. For myself to be cheated in this manner is a slight upon my honor.”

After a moment of consideration, Longhorn nodded. All three holograms dematerialized, and everyone’s ships turned towards me.

“No, no, no!” I screamed, pivoting my ship ninety degrees and launching myself forward. I dodged whatever laser fire I could, but my backup thrusters weren’t strong enough. The increased number of enemies overwhelmed me. My ship got hit again and again. More warning lights filled the cabin; the whole cockpit was flashing red now. The alarms became deafening.

In my desperation, I made a beeline towards the planet below me. Xios had a heavy atmosphere. The turbulence might’ve been enough to save me. My movement was predictable however, and my ship continued to be pelted by lasers. It wouldn’t hold much longer.

But if I could keep the scrap I held within quantum storage, I’d be alright. I could afford the ship repairs! I’d be—

A blinding light filled my vision. A blast rang in my ears. As it died down, I found rubble surrounding me. The rear of my ship was being torn apart! I knew what must’ve happened: the quantum storage was busted, generating a miniature black hole in its place. It’s the reason why only unregulated ships like mine used them.

I careened towards the planet's surface. Flames ignited around my ship’s hull as I entered its atmosphere. The laser fire continued. I desperately yanked the ship’s yoke to glide it towards an area more densely covered in ruins. If there was civilization, it’d be there.

“It’s over…! I’m dead! I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m gonna die I’m—”

In my panic, my hand instinctively grabbed a lever I never used. I never had to use it. I forgot it even existed. I pulled it, and in a single moment, the top half of my ship burst open, and I was flung through the opening. I flew through the air in my ejector seat, watching the ancient cityscape hurtling towards me. I looked backwards to find my ship hit the ground in an explosion of metal and debris.

As the ground got closer, I wondered why my parachute hadn't opened yet. I continued straight towards a dilapidated skyscraper.

“Damn it! Don't tell me that junker had a broken parachute!”

I banged the side of my ejector seat. Once. Twice. I'd go splat in a few seconds now!

Then I was jerked forward by the newfound drag of a parachute connected to my seat. After a moment to process I was no longer in free fall, I breathed a massive sigh of relief. However, my joy didn't last long. Having never used it, I never learned how to control the parachute.

I tried leaning in my chair to steer away from an incoming skyscraper, now just a few hundred feet away. It only barely changed direction. It wasn’t enough. I clipped the edge of the building, sending me into a spin. My parachute started getting tangled, and I fell faster.

The ground hurtled towards me. I braced for impact. However, I experienced something different than the instant death I expected. I was stabbed and scratched by countless branches. The snapping of twigs and the rustling of leaves berated my ears. And then I was at rest.

I opened my eyes to find myself upside down, tangled in a tree. I was in what might’ve been a plaza long ago, but was now an area of nature hiding amidst the city ruins.

More importantly however, there was also a girl in front of me. She was a native of this planet; part of the Yanta race. She looked mostly human, but her pink skin and a pair of antennae on her head gave her away. Her mouth was agape, rightly so, and her hair was sprinkled with splinters and sticks—no doubt the debris from my crash landing.

After a moment, she snapped out of her shock, cleared her throat, and questioned me: “What brings you to the royal garden of House Taizune?”