Emma’s Tangent – I am Weak

Emma and her mother lived in a two-bedroom apartment near the West Gate – a bit rundown but comfortable enough. It even had a working shower. Then, every day at seven in the morning, Emma’s mother would take her to the Adventurer’s Guild for school before heading over to the North Side for work.

The Adventurer’s Guild made Emma feel like an outcast. The other kids had a talent for fighting or defending. They had the strength to stand up against the wilderness. On the other hand, the most Emma could do was act as support: providing goods, carrying items, and cooking. She had the knowledge of what each plant could do, but she could barely use them. In her mind, she was weak. However, unlike the others, Emma knew how harsh the outside world was, so she dedicated herself to her talents.

Emma reached C-rank just as she turned fourteen. Better yet, her cooking had improved drastically, mostly because of her mother’s guidance. Her physical and magical skills were still nonexistent, but she could survive without trouble in most parties.

Normally, kids from the Adventurer’s Guild gathered into groups and joined the same party when they graduated. Emma was the only supporter of the group however, so she didn’t really hang out with others. She spent most of my time finding rare plants within the nearby forest. Not to mention, the other kids were still E-rank or F-rank warriors; their jealousy took hold over their reasoning.

Luckily, Emma ended up being scouted by the up-and-coming C-rank party Amstec. They functioned rather independently, wanting to rank up as fast as possible. It was an inviting sight; that was quite literally her everyday life. And so, it only took two seasons before the party was ready to take the B-rank exam. With this promotion, Emma hoped she could finally get rid of that lingering feeling of weakness.

However, like before, luck wasn’t on her side. When she met the proctor, she knew without a doubt he was human. It wasn’t because of his mana, nor was it because of how he looked. Emma just knew. He wasn’t even trying to hide it. Sure, humans weren’t discriminated against all that often, but it was enough to make one want to pretend to be another race.

But then, the proctor beat Ai in a mock battle. He acted like he was in his thirties, but he gave off the impression that he was much older. He didn’t look all that strong, and Emma had the general sense he didn’t have any specific talent. He had to have trained his skills for years to make up for that gap in strength. It made Emma question whether she could truly consider herself strong after giving up. At the same time though, she doubted what her eyes saw, telling herself that the proctor couldn’t be so powerful.

It only took a single battle to change her mind. When the wolf beast attacked, Emma was frozen in place. She thought she understood the harshness of the wilderness, but the wolf was much stronger than any of the beasts she encountered in the Mixing Point. Its sheer presence was overpowering. Aster and Rufus didn’t even have time to react, and they were both warriors. Emma could only see herself as powerless and complacent.

She looked at the proctor for a brief moment, thinking he was the same, but instead, he wasn’t scared, nor was he frozen. He was completely calm, analyzing the situation. There was no doubt in his movements. If someone told her he could’ve taken down the beast, Emma would’ve believed them.

He was strong.

Can I ever be like that?

The next day was worse. Emma froze in place when she saw a strong beast, forcing Ai and Aster to provide cover. The rainstorm hit Rufus, and the healing potions she bought didn’t help. Emma felt more and more depressed.

And then, her depression was blown away, replaced by utter bewilderment. After all, who wouldn’t be when you’re offered a small gold coin for research? Everyone used small, regular, and large copper and bronze coins. Some people walked around with small silver coins for large purchases, but it was rare to see anything larger. Companies and towns used silver, gold, and small platinum coins, while cities and countries would use platinum, mithril, and adamantite. The proctor was buying her research for amounts traded by towns! And then immediately after, he said it was worth as much as cities! Could you blame her for feeling overwhelmed?

Once Emma’s mind returned, she was laying down on the vines, the proctor over top of her. The sound of something sizzling reached her ringing ears. Funnily enough, that gave Emma enough time to pull herself back together, giving insight to the upcoming violet threat, and making preparations to see it through.

Emma knew she was weak, but she had to do something. Anytime a shot came, Emma would run over and block with her rain cover. Sure, she was blown off her feet each time, but she managed to stop the incoming seeds. Of course, she made sure to keep up the support, tossing fire crystals and healing potions as necessary. The exhaustion slowly crept in, but she never stopped.

After Ai finally managed to put up shelter for the night, the mood was dour. Everyone faced the same issue: they were all terribly weak, overwhelmed by the beasts they never had trouble fighting before. However, unlike her initial despair, the party seemed invigorated to push forward.

Emma’s respect for the party rose a bit at that moment.

Once dinner finished, Emma headed over to her room. It was a bit small with only a mattress on the floor, but she wasn’t going to complain. There wasn’t much else to do except rest, but that felt wrong to her. She knew the others were working hard to improve themselves, if only a little.

So, Emma got back up and practiced the only thing she could: blocking. She ran into the wall over and over, using a broken rain cover as practice. At first, she fell, her legs unable to brace against the impact. It was only after the hundredth time that she figured out a technique that worked.

In the back of her mind, Emma knew the training wasn’t doing anything. At best, her muscles would be sore tomorrow and at worst, she would be a liability. She could’ve waited until she returned to town to train or buy the correct equipment.

But for right now, Emma had to do what she thought was best. It was more than just blind self-destruction. It’s what she needed to survive tomorrow’s war. The strength to protect her party. The courage to keep moving forward.

Emma knew she was weak, but because of that, she could make herself stronger.