There's no way I like gals, right? chapter 5

I woke up the next day with a splitting headache. I groggily opened my eyes and adjusted my vision, letting out a strained groan. My head was throbbing and spinning terribly, and my entire body ached. My throat felt sore and dry, and my breathing grew more ragged and heavier. The world around me seemed like a blur, with each sound or sight muted. My body was overheating, and I could feel my sweat dripping down my body and drenching the bedsheets. My body suddenly jolted up as I hacked a violent cough, and I instantly laid back down again. I could hear the opening of a door, and I slowly turned my face, and saw Hana was standing at the doorway.

“Hina, get up. It’s time for school.”

She said sternly with her arms crossed while leaning on the doorframe.

“A-alr…”

I slowly stumbled out of bed and towards the door. I could see my sister’s expression change to one of confusion. My legs suddenly gave out, and I slumped onto the floor, my breathing now coming out in laboured wheezes. My sister rushed over to me quickly and kneeled over me, her face now one of concern.

“A-are you ok???”

“Y-yeah… I-I’m fine…”

I slowly propped myself up with my hands and began to stand up again, when Hana quickly grabbed my shoulders and forced me to stay down. She stared at me intently, her gaze and face filled with worry.

“No. You are way too sick. You’re staying home today.”

“B-but…”

“No buts. You’re staying home.”

I groaned but reluctantly agreed. Hana, seeming more satisfied now, carried me over to my bed and laid me down, and pulled the sheets over me. She looked at my face again, her expression still anxious. She quickly stepped out of my room, leaving me alone. A few moments later she came back holding a damp washcloth, a thermometer, and some medicine. She placed the cold washcloth on my forehead, and then stuck the thermometer in my mouth, taking my temperature. When it beeped and showed the result, she shook her head firmly and let out a loud sigh.

“It’s even worse than I thought…”

She muttered. She paced frantically around the room, continuing to mutter to herself.

“Shit, shit, shit. What do I do. I have a work interview today I can’t miss this. But I can’t just leave Hina by herself at home. Fuck. What do I do. What do I do.”

As I continued to watch my sister walk around my room, I felt my heart sink. My sister had been preparing long and hard for this work interview today. She had spent countless hours and effort on it, and now she was going to miss it because of me? I’d never seen my sister like this before. Normally, she was level-headed and always knew what to do. But now? She was pacing around my room nervously, muttering curses under her breath. I bit my lip as I continued to watch my sister panic, the grip on my sheets tightening.

“Sis. I-it’s fine. Don’t worry about me.”

“What! Are you crazy??? I can’t just leave you alone when your fever’s this bad!”

“Sis…”

“No!”

“SIS!”

She was taken aback by the sudden raise in my voice, and she stopped walking. She looked over to me, her face still painted with worry.

“I’m fine. Really. You can go.”

“Hina…”

“I-I really don’t want you to miss this. I know you’ve been working really hard on this…”

She just stood there in silence, her expression and eyes still filled with concern. After a long pause, she sighed defeatedly.

“But… I can’t just leave you alone… you’re really sick right now.”

“It’s fine… I-I can call Akari.”

My sister’s body suddenly tensed at the mention of that name, but after a moment she slumped and reluctantly exhaled.

“Fine. Call her up. But if she tries to take advantage of you while you’re sick, I’ll kill her.”

After my sister grumbled something while leaving my room, I pulled out my phone weakly and began to call Akari’s number. She answered almost immediately.

“HINA! OH MY GOD WHERE ARE YOU! ARE YOU SICK ARE YOU HURT ARE YOU-”

“I-I’m fine… just sick.”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME???”

“I-I just woke up…”

“What’s up, why isn’t Hina at school today?”

I heard Akemi say in the background.

“She’s sick…”

Akari replied. She then put the phone near her mouth again.

“I’m coming over right now, ok?”

“Y-yeah… thanks…”

“I’m coming as well!”

I heard Akemi proclaim proudly, followed by a loud groan from Akari. She then hung up the call. I dropped my phone and continued lying in bed, slowly drifting off to sleep.

A while later, I was suddenly awakened by the loud slamming of a door. I jolted up from my bed, startled, and looked over to my door. The sound of loud and rushed footsteps reverberated in the house, and suddenly, Akemi and Akari burst into my room. Their faces were red, and they were both bent over, panting and drenched in sweat. Their hair was a mess, with random strands sticking and clinging to their face, and their uniforms were wrinkled and soaked. Akari slowly stumbled to my bed, clutching tightly to the bags of medicine and food, and Akemi followed closely behind. She stopped in front of my bed and took a few seconds to catch her breath. She gazed at me intently, with a hint of protectiveness in her eyes.

“Y-you both came???”

“Mhm~!”

“Yeah… she wouldn’t stop following me.”

Akari huffed, an annoyed pout on her face.

“Awww… c’mon! I got to take care of Hina too!”

Akari turned to face Akemi, her expression now visibly irritated. She clenched her fists and gritted her teeth, her jaw twitching. Akemi just continued to look at her with an innocent smile.

“Just. Don’t get in the way.”

Akari then turned to face me, her face suddenly changing to one of worry and protectiveness.

“A-are you ok Hina?”

“Yea… I’m fine…”

“D-do you need anything? Water? Medicine?”

I shook my head.

“Nah… I’m fine… I just took some medicine…”

“Oh… are you hungry?”

I shook my head again, but my body betrayed me. A grumble emitted from my stomach, and I could feel a heat rise to my cheeks. Akari sighed loudly.

“Wait here, I’ll cook you something. Let’s go, Akemi.”

Akari swiftly turned around and began making her way to the kitchen, with Akemi enthusiastically following behind her. It was silence for a moment, until I heard the shattering of plates and dishes.

“What the hell…”

I muttered to myself. I slowly propped myself up and stumbled weakly out of bed, wrapping my sheets around me. I slowly made my way down the stairs and continued to walk through the house, to see where the sound came from, and eventually ended up in the kitchen. When I arrived, there were scattered pieces of broken plates and sharp ceramic scattered all over the marble floor. Akari was standing there, looking down at the mess, her face contorted into one of fear and worry. She then looked up and noticed I was standing there and let out a nervous and audible gulp. Akemi just watched behind the counter, a hint of amusement in her smirk. I sighed and rubbed my forehead, furrowing my eyebrows.

“I-I’m sorry Hina… I-I just…”

“It’s fine… just… clean it up, ok?”

Akari responded with a timid nod and looked down to her feet, her hands nervously fidgeting with her clothes. I let out an irritated sigh and turned around, making my way back up to my bedroom. I stumbled to and flopped onto my bed, laying down to rest again. A few moments later, Akari walked in, her head still down. She shyly stepped over to my bed and gazed at me anxiously, her face filled with guilt and shame.

“A-Akemi’s cooking you porridge right now.”

She said softly. I looked over at her and when our eyes met, she quickly averted her gaze. There it was again. Not the usual confident and cheery Akari, but the nervous and vulnerable girl I had seen before. I sighed a deep exhale, and gazed at her, my expression gentle and endearing. I forced a weak smile.

“Did you clean up the mess?”

“Y-yes…”

There was then a long pause. Then, Akari opened her mouth to continue talking.

“I-I’m sorry. I just wanted to help cook lunch for you…”

“It’s fine…”

She looked down to her feet again and began fidgeting with her hands and skirt nervously.

“Y-you probably think I’m useless…I’m sorry.”

She continued to look down, and I could see tears well up in her eyes, glistening in the dim lighting of the room. She then braced herself and closed her eyes, anticipating whatever I was going to do next. I reached my hand slowly over her head and softly petted her. Her body seemed to suddenly tense up, but she quickly melted into the feeling of my hand. She opened her eyes, her expression now confused and vulnerable. She looked at me again, with those same helpless eyes.

“Nah. I don’t think you’re useless.”

“R-really? B-but I…”

“Akari… you don’t have to try so hard for me you know…”

“B-but…”

“What you do normally is enough. Seriously. So don’t ever think you’re useless, ok?”

She nodded shyly and looked down again. I sighed and smiled weakly yet endearingly at her.

“I-is there really nothing else I can do…”

“Hmm… well… You can wipe the sweat off my back.”

Akari’s breath suddenly hitched, and her body froze. It took a few seconds for her to process what I had just said. After she came to her senses again, she nervously looked away, and her cheeks started to slowly turn a rosy red. She fidgeted nervously with her hands again.

“Y-yeah… I can do that.”

Hearing her agreement, I sluggishly got up from my bed and started unbuttoning my pyjamas. I turned my back to her, and let my clothes slide off my body, revealing my bare back. I watched as Akari anxiously fetched a nearby towel from her bag and positioned herself behind me. I gasped as I felt the cold and damp towel rub against my back, and I let out a satisfied sigh. I contently hummed as Akari continued to wipe my back. I then started hearing heavy panting and could feel a hot breath on my back.

“D-don’t worry Hina… I’ll wipe it all for you…”

“W-what are you-”

I suddenly turned around my body around, and came face to face with Akari. Her breathing was now heavy and ragged, and she gazed at me through needy and half-lidded eyes. Her face was now a rosy pink, and she continued to move closer and closer as I cautiously backed away.

“D-don’t worry Hina… let me take care of you…”

She extended her hand, and was about to reach lower down my body when suddenly –

“Hina~! I finished cooking your porridge!”

Akari immediately snapped out of her trance and quickly pulled back, tucking her hands between her thighs. Her face was now glowing a bright red, and she looked away from me, refusing to meet my gaze. I then heard loud footsteps come up the stairs and approach my room. Akemi appeared in the door frame, holding a tray with a bowl of steaming white rice porridge sitting on it. She flashed me a bright smile and made her way over to my bed, placing the tray on my lap. I looked over at the piping bowl and slowly picked up the spoon. After a simple phrase of gratitude, I slowly began to eat. My eyes suddenly lit up.

“M-mmm! This is good, Akemi!”

I said, my mouth muffled with food. Akemi just rubbed the back of her head and laughed shyly.

“Haha… it’s nothing much… just simple rice porridge.”

“It can’t be THAT good…”

Akari muttered, visibly irritated. She pouted again and looked away. As I continued to eat my porridge, I noticed that Akari kept flashing glances at me. when I finally finished, I breathed a sigh of relief and slumped back onto my bed. I felt my eyelids grow heavy and flutter again, and I slowly laid back into my bed.

“You want us to leave you alone now?”

Akemi asked. I nodded weakly and pulled the covers over myself. I watched as Akemi and Akari started gathering and packing up their stuff. They began to make their way out of my room, with Akemi in the front. Before Akari left, I softly tugged on her sleeve. She looked back, her expression confused.

“Thanks, Akari…”

I whispered. A blush slowly crept up Akari’s face, and she suddenly turned around, facing her back to me.

“I-it’s nothing.”

She mumbled. I giggled and watched her leave flustered. I then closed my eyes and eventually drifted off to sleep.

A few days passed, and my cold finally recovered. I was back at school, at my usual lunch spot, eating lunch with Akari and Akemi. Although the awkwardness between the two had seemed to improve a bit, an uncomfortable tension still hung in the air. Akemi was eating her lunch while humming, being her usual cheery and oblivious self, while Akari stared daggers at her. She then turned her attention to me, and her expression and eyes turned soft and concerned. She seemed to hesitate a bit, and fidgeted nervously with her skirt, her eyes darting from side to side.

“Hina… are you sure you’re better?”

“Y-yeah! Of course!”

“You don’t have to push yourself you know…”

“I’m really fine! My cold recovered a long time ago!”

“I don’t know Hina…”

“Really! I’m fine!”

Akari continued to stare intensely at my face, her expression filled with scepticism and worry. I felt a heat rush up to my cheeks, and I quickly averted her gaze. I felt my heart start racing, and my mind began racing with questions again. W-why the hell did she care so much about me? And why am I so flustered from hearing that? Why do I feel… strangely happy that Akari cares about me so much? T-that’s normal right? I-it’s just a normal reaction to hearing your friend say that! Y-yeah! But as I continued to steal flustered glances at Akari’s tenderly gaze, my mind clouded with even more thoughts. W-what the hell… d-did she always look this cute? W-what am I thinking! Akari’s just a friend! I-I don’t like her that way! I’m sure of it! T-that’s weird anyway! Two girls liking each other! But… I can’t deny it… it makes me strangely happy hearing Akari care about me this much… Akari looked down again and fidgeted with her hands anxiously.

“T-then… Hina… D-do you want to go to the Christmas-”

“Let’s go see the Christmas lights!”

Akemi suddenly announced enthusiastically, cutting Akari off. I turned my face to look at her, and Akari did the same.

“T-the Christmas lights?”

“Yeah! Let’s go together! All three of us!”

Akemi now had a wide cheery grin spread across her face, and I looked over to Akari to see her reaction. She was flashing Akemi a menacing death stare. I shuddered at her gaze and quickly turned my face back. Christmas lights huh… I let out a heavy sigh. There’s going to be a lot of people… but if it means I can hang out with Akari and Akemi… Why the hell do I feel so nervous? I’m really happy that I get to hang out with Akari and Akemi on Christmas… I-I really am… but... I feel strangely nervous as well… W-what the hell…

“W-where are you considering?”

“Roppongi!”

“Uh… sure…”

Roppongi… I hadn’t really heard of that place before. But surely all the decorations and lights were like all the other Christmas streets, right? I looked over at Akari, who now had her face turned away from me, and her cheeks were slowly turning a light pink.

“S-sure… Roppongi…”

She muttered softly.

After me and Akemi waved our goodbyes at the station, I turned around and started making my way home. My mind started racing again. Christmas is in a few days… W-what do I do??? I’ve never hung out with anyone during Christmas before! W-what are you supposed to do normally? I-I don’t want to disappoint them! I at least must know something! I swiftly took out my phone and began typing in the search bar.

<what to do with friends on Christmas>

I scrolled through the various results, skimming over the text. Gift giving huh… that seemed to be the most popular answer.

<gift-giving on Christmas>

As I continued to read the results, I felt a heat creep up to my face again. Gift giving is normally only done between couples? B-but… surely you can do it with close friends right? I continued to scroll, and felt the blush continue to inch up to my cheeks even more. S-surely you can do it with close friends! I-it’s not just a couple thing! But… what if me and Akari… secretly… I suddenly shook my head violently and slapped my cheeks with the palm of my hands, the sound reverberating through the silence. Y-yeah! This is just going to be a gift exchange between friends! Nothing romantical! But… that said… what the hell do I get Akari for Christmas?

I laid in bed that night, tossing and turning restlessly. My mind was whizzing with possibilities and options for gifts. Akemi… what would she like? She seemed like the typical popular gal type… makeup? A cute keychain? I don’t want to make it seem like I care less about her than Akari… and what the hell do I get Akari? I-I don’t want to get something too bold… maybe not that expensive… but still meaningful… m-matching keychains??? I suddenly stopped moving around, and laid on the bed, hearing the sound of my own breathing echo in the silence. But what if… Akari… doesn’t see me that way… what if she… doesn’t care for me as much as I do… I sighed and flipped onto my side, resting me cheek on the pillow. What the hell… we’re just friends… so why do I feel sad about that?

I had made up my mind to secretly go gift-shopping the next day after school. When the final school bell rang, signifying the end of class, I stood up from my desk and started packing up my textbooks and pens. I hoisted the strap of my bookbag over my shoulder, and just as I was about to leave, I was approached by Akemi and Akari.

“Hina~ let’s walk home today!”

“N-nah… sorry… I-I have something to do today…”

Akari raised an eyebrow.

“Oh really?”

She said sceptically.

“What is it?”

“I-I… uh…”

“C’mon, spit it out…”

“I-I… have to go!”

I clutched the strap of my bookbag firmly and forced my way through them. They both stumbled back, clearly taken aback. I paced swiftly out of the classroom, and they both stood there, dumbfounded. I continued through the hallways, and through the school yard, eventually making it out of the school. I then ducked behind a wall and thinking that I had put enough distance between myself and them, let out a sigh of relief. I then started making my way to centre of Shibuya. As I walked through the various streets, I noticed that they had already started to hang Christmas lights and decorations up. The normally dull and monotonous buildings which were packed tightly next to one another were now covered in bright and vivid lights and designs. The trees on the sidewalks which stood in neatly organised rows all had ropes of LEDs dangling and wrapped around their dry branches. Colourful and eye-catching Christmas decorations and symbols were everywhere, all sparkling and shining in the rays of the afternoon sun. Christmas-themed billboards and advertisements hung from the skyscrapers, each one screaming in your face. The wet and shiny concrete road and sidewalks reflected the chaotic mess of lights and colours. The commotion of chatter and laughter coming from the hordes of people echoed in the air, and a sense of excitement could be felt. Shibuya seemed to be more alive than ever

I squeezed and made my way through the sea of people until I reached my destination, Shibuya scramble square. When I arrived, I looked up and gulped nervously as I took in the intimidating view before me. the normally grey and unassuming building was now enveloped in a jumble of decorations and lights, covered in a blur of white, red and green. Tall and striking Christmas ornaments and decorations stood outside proudly. Crowds of people circulated around me, the murmur of conversation filling the air. I took a deep breath in an attempt to calm my nerves, clutched the strap of my book bag, and stepped in.

The interior seemed much more alive and buzzing than usual. I was met with a blinding mess of sparkles and flickers. Green Christmas wreaths were strung from the roof and across stores, their baubles glimmering in the bright lights. Ropes of LEDs were hung along haphazardly all over the mall, wrapped around and next to tall Christmas trees, whose ornaments glittered in the rays of light. Every store was wearing their Christmas costume, with billboards and signs posted proudly outside informing you about their latest holiday-themed deals or sales. I dropped my head anxiously and continued walking, swiftly making my way to the accessories store. I finally arrived and stopped in front of it. Its exterior was painted a gentle pink, with its logo written in bubbly and dreamy letters. Its interior was coloured a soft white, and the floor consisted of bright, white tiles. Racks of various accessories such as keychains, hairclips, and cheap sparkly jewellery were neatly organised in rows, gleaming from the rays of light from the spotlights which were illuminating the store. Various small ornaments were strewn across a table placed in the middle of the store. Bags and plushies lined the aisles, and a pop song could be heard being played in the background.

I stepped inside the store and began nervously eying all the keychains. Rows of pastel pink and purple love hearts, stars, and other miniatures hung from the white racks. I stopped walking and slowly reached my hand out to inspect the love heart key chain. It was a simple pink heart, connected to a tiny silver chain and keyring. As I continued to examine it, I could feel a heat rise to my cheeks. W-what the hell am I thinking??? I-I can’t get her this! This is something for couples! Not friends! I doubt she’ll accept such a thing anyway! My mind continued to race with thoughts, when I was suddenly snapped out of my trance by a giggle. I looked over to the source of the sound, and saw a group of teenage girls, clearly talking about me. I quickly turned my face back and slowly dropped my head down and closed my eyes, bracing myself for the incoming insults and jeers. I knew it. I knew it. I shouldn’t have even considered getting this. I probably look so weird and creepy right now. I’m so stupid. What the hell was I thinking. No way Akari would ever accept-

“Oh my~ is she getting that for her boyfriend~?”

One whispered.

“How bold…”

Another one chuckled. My body froze, and my mind took a few seconds to process their teasing words. After I had finally heard what they said, I could feel a distinct heat rush up to my cheeks. My heart started racing again, and I began fidgeting nervously with the keychain. I vigorously shook my head in an attempt to fight off the flusteredness which was rising to my face and brain. N-no! W-we’re not like that! Me and Akari are just friends! B-but then if we are… then this one might be too bold… my eyes dropped down to the keychain again, and I quickly hung it back onto the rack, averting my gaze and refusing to look at it. Yeah… I’m definitely not getting that one for Akari…

I continued to browse through the other keychains. Cute characters and animals… Charms… Mini plushies… Argh! What the hell do I get without making it look weird!!! A matching keychain on Christmas is practically a love confession! N-no… calm down Hina… it’s just between friends. Just a matching keychain between friends.

In the end, I bought a matching pair of white lily keychains. It was simple and cute, and not too overboard. After I paid and happily walked out of the store, I looked down again at the two keychains sitting in the palm of my hand. It was a simple plastic model of a white lily, with a small silver chain and key ring attached to it. My body suddenly froze again, and my mind started clouding with thoughts, as the consequences of my impulsiveness quickly dawned on me. E-even so… matching keychains on Christmas is mainly a couple thing, right? What if Akari thinks it’s weird? What if Akari thinks I’m weird? S-surely not… she’ll understand that it’s just between friends… I clutched the keychains tighter. Nah… I better get a safer backup gift… oh… I’ll get her the same thing as Akemi. Then she’ll know it’s just between friends.  I ran my fingers over the cold and hard plastic. But why… do I strangely want something between just me and Akari… No. Stop. There’s no way… Akari probably doesn't want that... we're just friends. Nothing more.

But… why do I feel a bit sad thinking that?

I quickly tucked the keychains in my bag and dropped my head down defeatedly, and continued to walk through the mall, thinking of possible gifts for Akemi and Akari. I eventually decided on getting them both a scarf. I sighed and made my way to the clothing store. It was a simple and unassuming store. The outside was painted an industrial and clean white, its logo spelled out in a simple yet refined font. The inside was the same monotonous white, and its floor was made of shiny light wooden panels, which reflected the multiple spotlights that illuminated the room. Rows of neatly hung and folded clothes sat on racks and tables, each with an eye-catching price sign placed on top. The clothes consisted of simple and basic pieces, t-shirts, sweaters, pants, etc, making the interior look like a palette of soft colours. Christmas themed sales and advertisements stood out front, and you could hear it playing a generic pop song through its speakers. I stepped inside and made my way over to the scarf section, leafing through the various options. They were plain, patterned, striped and checkered ones, all coloured in by a soft pastel. What colour and design should I get? Akemi… she seems really mature… maybe a light brown one? And Akari did say she liked my pink scarf… maybe… N-no! I slapped my cheeks with my palms, trying to steady my racing mind. Why am I overthinking this! It’s just a scarf! I-it means nothing! It’s just a normal gift between friends! I continued debating mentally which colour and pattern of scarf I should get for them. Eventually, I ended up buying a soft, beige checkered scarf for Akemi and the same pink scarf which I had originally fretted over for Akari. I paid and left the store, clutching tightly onto the paper bag. It had been very late by now, so the sky outside was already dark. I went out of the shopping mall and into the streets, where I began making my way to the station. The Christmas lights had been turned on already, so the streets were filled with a bright blur of white, blue and golden lights. The bright lights intertwined with the trees and buildings sparkled against the dark sky, as if there was a constellation on earth. The vivid and glittery decorations and ornaments glowed brightly, twinkling against the black background. I stopped in front of the station to slowly take in the view before me. For the first time, Shibuya actually looked beautiful.

I hopped on the train and eventually made it back home. I swung open the door and stepped in, changing out of my shoes and into my slippers. Hana was standing there, arms crossed, with an irritated pout painted on her face. My mother poked her head out of the kitchen, wearing an expression of confusion. Her eyes darted around the room, until she saw me, and her face morphed into one of relief but irritation. She put down her cooking spoon and wiped her hands, slowly making her way over to me. She stopped in front of me and gazed at me with a disappointed stare. She then sighed and rubbed her forehead.

“Hina… do you know how late it is…”

“S-sorry…”

I mumbled, looking down and fidgeting with my hands.

“Where the hell were you??? We were worried sick!”

Hana proclaimed frustratedly. I continued to drop my head down in shame.

“I-I was… buying Christmas gifts…”

I replied, my voice barely louder than a whisper. They were taken aback, clearly not expecting that answer.

“R-really???”

My mom asked, surprised yet hopeful. I gave a shy nod.

“Y-yeah… I’m going out with my friends to see the Christmas lights this weekend…”

My mom’s eyes lit up again, and a smile stretched across her face.

“That’s wonderful sweetie! This will be the first time that you’ve ever spent Christmas with your friends!”

“Y-yeah…”

My mother turned around, a cheery expression on her face. She hummed happily as she made her way back to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Hana was still standing there, her face painted with scepticism.

“And who exactly… are these… friends?”

“A-Akari…”

Her body tensed up, and her face immediately turned into one of irritation.

“Oh… Akari, you say? Anyone else?”

She asked through gritted teeth. The vicious glint in her eyes sent shivers down my spine.

“A-Akemi…”

“Akemi?”

Her spiteful glare and tone suddenly morphed into one of confusion.

“Who’s that?”

“Uh… a new friend I made…”

She stood there silently for a while, processing my words, until eventually letting out an exasperated sigh. She dropped her head down and rubbed her forehead.

“Whatever… at least she can’t be as bad as Akari…”