Paper clip part 2

          Wake up, go to school, study, go home, sleep, what for am I repeating all that? No matter what days I pass the result is same nothing will change. What do I really
want? Do I want my dreams come true? Do I want a change in my life? I myself don't know what I want in this life. I'm just passing time that I have with emptiness.

          That was his thought in Urip's mind in this morning before bell for first lesson
started. He just leaned on edge of corridor in front of his class. He saw from second
floor Nati who walked with her friends entered her classroom. No wonder I never
saw her, she was in lower class, at corner even or is it because I'm not paying
attention to my surroundings?

           Bell has rang signaling that class is about to start. The students rushed to their seats. Teachers enter the classes they will teach. Mrs. Herti is a math teacher who is known for her charisma as a teak ruler teacher at school.

           Not without reason that nickname was given by the students. Because
wooden ruler has always been an attribute that she always carried with her when
teaching. That nickname becomes even more real, Coupled with rigid and sturdy
attitude like teak wood and nature of correcting students' mistakes to the smallest
problem.

By bringing sheaf of test sheet, Mrs. Herti launched adrenaline doping to students.

"All books put in bag, now it's re-test" if it wasn't Mrs. Herti who is teaching right
now, all students would have shouted Eh~ or Ha~.

"Because there are only five numbers, time is thirty minutes, finished not finished must be submited" she distributed that re-test to students.

           As I expected, the problem in test is related to lesson being taught but at
different levels. Teachers teach us to eat porridge using a spoon, when the test has
come, we are tested for eating porridge using chopsticks.

           Re-test is supposed to repeat our understanding not to examine our
knowledge, if it is to examine it should be called a exam. because test and trial were slightly different. So this test called re-test is a trial given by the teachers to assess
our ability to follow demands of this world.

Thirty minutes had passed when the test were collected.

"Open the fifty-sixth page book, study it first, I will check your test scores"

“Wung, how much score can you possibly get? looks like my score are gonna be bad” Arda fidgeted with his hands cupping his cheeks.

"Get score of an inverted chair or monkey ear or cut of goose duck or water
tadpole or quail egg, you just have to resit that exam"

*inverted chair      = 4
monkey ear            = 3
cut of goose duck = 2
water tadpole       = 1
quail egg                 = 0*

"What if we get bad grades on report card and then we can't continue to school and then we can't work and then we are kicked out by our parents and then
we live on the streets and die as bums and our bodies are thrown into river"
Arda became more and more restless with his imagination.

"Just because a piece of paper that three-finger stamped and signed
(diploma/certificate), will not determine my future, even though that paper can
indeed help live"

           All students carefully worked on questions given by their math teacher but not for that two students who were arguing over something beyond their control.

“Two of you in front of corner! standing at front of corridor now!” loudly teak
ruler teacher punish that two rowdy students outside in front of the classroom
corridor.

“Hands on ears! one leg raised! You can't stop before my class is over!"
Mrs. Herti pointed tip of her forefinger at noses of that two students who were
bowed silently. All students in the class looked curiously through classroom window to just see what their math teacher had done to two of them.

           When Mrs. Herti turned to enter the classroom, all students had returned to
their seats in an atmosphere like nothing had happened.

“I take my words, your bad luck is contagious” Arda complained.

"Who started? who was punished? who suffers? whose fault?" Urip muttered to quip a friend beside him who was balancing his body on one foot.

"Ah- right, I have something to do you can go home first"

"Good, so I don't have to go home with jinxed" said Arda with a pressing
intonation.

-------------------------------------------「Here page separator」-------------------------------------------

Now I understand what that rowdy Arda meant.

"If your life tastes bland it means your life hasn't started yet"

"I'm sure you already know the answer, you just don't realize it"

           I don't realize my life hasn't started yet because I don't want to start. I have no problems to solve on my own is what causes my days to feel empty.

           And what didn't I notice? that is my view of what have I done. Everything
seemed to have just happened because I considered it all to be meaningless events.

           His thought was interrupted when Urip saw little girl running before finally
falling down and crying in the middle of that park. He just glanced left and another
left looking for person who should be responsible for this little girl's safety. Urip
helped her up with a worried face as he stuttered confused about what to do.

"What hurts? Where is your mother?" Isn't it certain a crying little girl wouldn't
answer that question that didn't need to be answered. Urip could only wipe her two
little red hands and rub her knees which were slightly bloody blisters.

           That little girl with long-flowing hair was wearing a pink one piece dress
decorated with red flower motifs. Her small hands rubbed her teary eyes. Even
though her eyes were closed, she couldn't hold back her tears.

           Urip lowered his body and pat that little girl's head gently and warmly. Seen a mother approaching, running from a distance. I'm not one who made her cry and I'm not villain as you imagined. That's preparatory sentence that Urip will say later if her mother misbehaves with him. With a state of anxiety, all mother sure will protect her kid who is sad and crying.

"What are you doing to my daughter? you Just being a high school kid
but already become a delinquent, what will you become when you grow up?"
with a yelling tone, that mother pulled Urip's ear hard. Unfortunately, that mother's hand and words were faster than the words Urip was about to say.

           I helped him up and I wanted to be an architect, Ma'am. I'd really like to
answer unpleasant questions with that. But will she believe it, I don't think so.

"N-No ma'am, I just passing by" stumbling and thrashing in pain was what he was doing now.

"You lie, if you not admit it, I will report to your school!" She grip got stronger
and pulled his ears who were groaning in pain. That little girl just tugged at her
mother's clothes repeatedly. But she ignored her completely.

"I bullied her, sorry ma'am I will not repeat it again" are you satisfied ma'am with that answer you want to hear? My ears are already burning not because of this pain but because of your narrow minds.

"DARN YOU BR-" her screams stopped when she heard her daughter say softly
followed by sobbing and said honestly "Mom, this brother is not bad, I fell and
this brother helped me"

"Don't be afraid, mom is here" She glanced back at Urip.

“ARE YOU THREATENED MY DAUGHTER?”

"Mom no, this brother is really kind" that little girl hugged her mother tightly.

           She looked very surprised, her eyes opened wide, her grip weakened and
finally released from Urip's red burning ears.

"Forgive Me, I think you did bad things to my daughter, once again I'm sorry"
a look of guilt appeared on her face.

"It's fine, I forgive you"

"But why did you lie earlier?"

"I thought my ear was almost cut off earlier so maybe if I say that you will let my ear off" with a small laugh while holding one of red ears he answered jokingly.
That mother and that little girl went home hand in hand, this time maybe she
wouldn't let her hand off her daughter so easily.

"I should have just kept quiet if I knew it would turn out like this" Urip took a
deep breath sighing throwing all mixed feelings away. When he turned his body he
see figure of a girl he had known for a not long time smiling faintly.

"What made you frequent visit this park lately?" asked her lightly.

"I just realized this park is quite beautiful and comfortable" said Urip turning his eyes away.

"I'm always here after school I know better, and everything is normal, it feels beautiful because you make it beautiful"

What is this? Kind of chit chat? is She see what happened before?

"Do you seen it earlier?"

"Not much, I just followed seven year old girl who fell recently and was helped by a kind person, Oh right, her name is putri I just met and played with her
earlier"

          That's same as you seen everything, and from that time you just silently smiled didn't help me from death. Urip went to sit in shame with both hands covering his
embarrassed face followed by Nati sitting beside him.

“Na- Nati do you have a nickname? Nati feels weird on my tongue, sorry it
doesn't mean your name is weird or whatever it's just... what is it…? How do I
say it?” His hands were waved quickly and wildly, he thought his words offended
Nati.

"It's okay, if it feels weird to you, you can call me whatever you like"

 Recovering from his awkwardness. He thought of finding a better nickname to
pronounce.

“Nati Drasthi, how about rasti? Instead, you can call me by any name”
persuaded Urip which was basically an act of disrespect for saying someone else's
name was weird.

“Urip is enough”

"Rasti why were you just silent earlier?"

"Urip why did you lie before?" Rasti quickly answered with another question.

"To escape entanglement of that mother earlier"

“I mean why not try to be honest”

“A-... in the end, being honest and lying is same”

          This feeling is same as that feeling at that time, I can still remember it clearly
maybe because it happened yesterday.

"Of course not, If only Urip was honest"

"Many times people never listen to me when I tell the truth"

"But in the end, you was who feel the pain alone right?"

"It's fine as long as it's just me"

"Next time try to be honest even with everyone, next time if Urip being honest Rasti will help you anytime"

"A..., if that's the case... well, I'll try"

           Two of them talked for a long time, Urip found a new place besides workshop he used to visit.

"Urip It turns out that your personality is not what I imagined" She answered,
changing the subject.

           Urip was about to return the subject if only that smile didn't appear on her
face. At first I wanted to ask what do you think my personality is like? I don't know
why, I just kept quiet. That smile, I want to see it always. I want to keep her smile.
I want her to smile again for me.

           If I gather and clip each part of my empirical life, everything looks like a blank
sheet of paper. But if I look at it from a different angle, you will see the color
difference from the ink that has been inscribed.

           Often I feel envious of people who are not afraid of the future and who never think about small things. They live only for themselves and die for themselves.

Am I in the future will be okay?
Did He say "this is your choice that you have to face?"
Has He become person I hoped to be?
Did He send messages that didn't reach me?
All of that, I can only waiting for the time pass.