Chapter 0 - Amara to Shade

How often could you tell that you like somebody?

Always? Sometimes? Or never at all?

Because in my case it’s not always.

Finding someone beautiful or handsome is easy and anyone can tell that. I bet they could even tell if I was ugly or not. It was that easy, it’s never hard work.

Is it the same as liking someone? It could be it, it could be not. It depends.

You could be liking someone for their beauty, or even for their brains. But that’s not all right? You could also want someone who is funny, entertaining, and easy to be with. It could be any reason because the no reason for liking someone isn’t an answer.

But I found myself finding this guy interesting, but I was not able to realize it easily.

He always sits alone.

Yes. It was nothing new. Everyone does that, everyone has that moment where they sit alone. But it was not the case with him.

Be it a grass.

Be it a tree.

Be it the sky.

His eyes will always find their way to such things, staring at them like it was the best thing in the world.

But I never saw him stare at a person.

He always looks straight, but never at you.

I’m not saying that he doesn’t talk to someone. But rather he looked like he was more interested in staring at nothingness.

Was he always like this? I don’t know.

But… I don’t think it was fun to look at nothingness, right?

I know. I might be thinking wrong, I might be judging him by saying those things. I might be wrong or I might be right.

I could ask him. But I found myself just looking at him when I had a chance. Be it in the school, in the shop, on the road, or everywhere I find him. I always see him staring at something other than people.

Kind of odd. It was odd. It felt like he was deliberately avoiding them.

If there was a reason for that, then I want to know what is it that reason that made him like that. If I was wrong and being too quick to judge, then I would apologize to him.

I would tell him my thoughts. Every time I saw him, I was filled with questions about him, and I wanted to talk with him.

But do I really like such a person? Do I really? No… Maybe I do…

I asked myself, not only right now, but always. It was a challenge to my mind, asking myself whether I liked this guy or not.

So do I like him or not? I think so…

Just the thought of looking at someone who enjoyed the peace of staring at nothingness fills me with joy and peace too.

Am I weird? Am I creepy?

Do you think, do you think maybe there’s a chance… A chance where he was able to notice my presence?

Haha… I wonder if there will be a time he notices me too…

Probably impossible…

I’m a coward after all.