Dear Journal,

June 26, 20XX

Dear Journal,

Today, I have made much progress. My therapist has helped me slowly break through. I have been with them for a long time, and now they have suggested I take the next step. They want me to walk away from my isolation and explore the world. My therapist suggested I go on a hike. This will be the first step to slowly ease my way into society. It did not seem too bad since I won't be overwhelmed by people; besides nature will never judge me. I was still on the edge, moping at the idea until my therapist pulled out a backpack. It looks quite heavy; my therapist has taken the liberty to pack it. As a token of my accomplishments, they decided to gift me with all the gear I would need on a hiking journey. The ball is now in my court, it is up to me to accept this gift or disappoint. I am now on my couch, in my quiet home, staring at the military-style bag. They are such great people, going this far to get me nothing but the best. I have all the items sprawled out on my floor. A pair of hiking boots, black, heavy-duty, a pair of gloves with a gripped texture, a compass, silver, lightweight, a sleeping bag, military-grade, a small tent, a green canteen bottle, a first aid kit, a yellow flashlight, a hatchet, and a filter straw. I kept looking at the items over and over again; conflicted if I should go or lie. I feel guilty If I don't go, but yet this is such a big step for me. I have always had a mundane routine. I work from home and rarely leave the house. I hate to go far and have the fear of leaving the sanctity of my home. A lot is riding on my shoulders, I want to be brave not for myself but for my therapist who has hope for me. I've decided to take the leap; I will go on the adventure. I will learn to overcome my fear. I will prevail. I got on my computer and looked for a place to hike, I want it to be far; I want it to be a remote area. I’ve decided to settle for a trip halfway across the world.

May 10, 20XX

Dear Journal,

Today will be brief. I have checked in and am clear to board the plane. My first interaction with the stewardess was not great. I fumbled hard, tripping on my words, which caused me to be very nervous. Remembering what my therapist taught me, I started taking deep breaths. There are so many people, and the plane is very compact. I want to turn back, but it is too late. I must persevere. I hope to land soon.

May 11, 20XX

Dear Journal,

I have landed safely. I had booked an inexpensive room ahead of time; I knew it would be cheap, but I couldn't imagine it to be this poor. The place was nothing like the ad said. It was a straw-built hut with a dirt floor and a handcrafted twin-size bed made from uneven-sized branches. There was no electricity or running tap. I was given a single candle and a box of matches. There is an outhouse near the outer edge that is just a dug hole. I am not worried; I won’t be staying long. I will meet with a local guide in a few days.

May 15, 20XX

Dear Journal,

I have concluded a meeting with the local guide; she is very knowledgeable, though it was a bit hard to understand. She offered to extend her services, but I was too sheepish. She gave me two maps one modern and the other crude. The crude one seems to be hand-drawn and is much different. I was told that this was a map that the inhabitants created. I was also briefed on a legend that the locals believed. I do not believe that the story is true; it seems to be made up and passed down to children to scare them into obedience. My guide seemed like an educated person however, I did notice that she seemed a bit uneasy when speaking about it. Fear is fear no matter the cause, I guess. I will soon return my room to the innkeeper, and start my journey.

May 18, 20XX

Dear Journal,

When I arrived at the foot of the trail, it was not what I expected. There were many people, vendors, and tourists alike; it was bustling with hustlers and swindlers. At every mark, there are sellers, no peace, no tranquility. I want to be free; I want to be away. I noticed the old map has a split path. However, I am standing here, and there is nothing, no path, no trail. I’ve tried to ask a vendor, but upon seeing the map, they flailed their hands and shook their head, refusing to acknowledge. I thought if I bought two bottles of water, they might have a change of heart however, I was mistaken. I do not know if it should cut through or return home. I’ve tread further than I’ve ever been in my life, coming home now is not a loss. I know my therapist would still be proud.

May 20, 20XX

Dear Journal,

I had made up my mind, and I decided to follow the old map whether anyone helped or not. The hatchet was extremely handy. Swinging at the vines and branches made my arms sore. I still wonder what that young boy was trying to convey when he stopped me. I have been camping out for a bit. It feels a lot like home; however, I feel free; unlike at home, I am cooped up, with only four walls and my computer. Here, I am free; I can hear sounds, I can see colors, I can feel, might I say, I can taste. My burden is lifted; there is no one but I, and I alone. I got excited when a bird landed on me. It was a vibrant color: yellow in some areas, green and blue in others. It’s beak sharp and curled. Looking into its eyes was like opal. I watched it fly away without a care, with freedom. I wish that I could be a bird, too, so that I do not have to have a burden. I did notice something while I was sightseeing, it looked to be a cave of some sort. I may try to circle back tomorrow, but tonight, I may try to get some rest and cook up this fish I caught.

May 21, 20XX

DEAR LORD, IT’S HORR- [Torn page]