CHAPTER 4 ‒ A Glimmer of Hope

Everyone ate their meals in silence. No one wanted to ask what had happened.

After the meal, we were led away in groups again. To our surprise, it was already dark outside. Did time pass differently here?

We were taken to another building, sturdier than the barn where we had eaten. Once there, each group was assigned a room.

"This will be your sleeping quarters." The soldier looked at our group as if expecting protest.

Nothing. Silence. The memory of the faces of the fewer returnees was still fresh in our minds.

His gaze flickered, but he opened the door before anything more could be seen in it.

We were ordered to enter the room. As soon as we stepped inside, the door was locked behind us.

My shirt clung to my skin, still damp from training. The cold crept into my bones.

"Shit!" The tall man turned abruptly and was about to strike the door, but his hand froze in midair. Slowly, he lowered it.

We stood there in silence. The beds ‒ mere wooden slats with a thin covering ‒ looked no more inviting than the walls. Cold sweat, fear, and the metallic scent of blood hung in the air.

Each of us sat on the first bed we found. For minutes, we sat in silence.
Everyone examined their new wounds, the ones they had received during training. Many clutched a part of their body as if in pain.

The young woman in the corner rubbed her arms. "How many days, do you think? Two days? Three?"
She rested her head in her hands. "No idea what happened out there, but... but sooner or later, the same will happen to us."
Tears ran down her face, ones she had held back until now.

The red-haired woman stood up and sat next to the young woman.
"Don't despair."
Her hand gently slid across the young woman's back.
"...Everything will be fine." She spoke the words, but her gaze remained empty.

"Easy for you to say. After all, you awakened your magic, so you're automatically more important than us."
A short man from the other corner of the room looked toward the red-haired woman. He had medium-length blonde hair, tangled with dirt.

The red-haired woman glared back aggressively, but nothing happened.

The man with the blonde hair continued. "How did you do it? The magic, I mean."

"I don't know, believe me." She sounded noticeably annoyed.
"I wanted to slit that bastard Kang's throat, and suddenly it felt like my body was burning." She looked at her hands. Where black lines had once eaten away at her skin, there was now nothing. As if the magic had disappeared ‒ or was sleeping.

"And in the next moment, I was suddenly standing in front of Kang again, but my body failed..."
She gritted her teeth.

I gathered my courage and began to speak. "Then we can all make it."

The attention of the others focused on me. I didn't like it.

"We all received magic. Each one of us." I looked around the room. The gazes hit me like daggers.

"They said that we can awaken magic through combat or near-death experiences." I looked at the red-haired woman.
"It was probably something like that for you. I know it sounds crazy, but maybe..." My breath caught. The words wouldn't come out.
"Maybe we should embrace it and try to awaken our magic as quickly as possible, so we are 'worth more'." I glanced at the short blonde man as I said the last part.

The gazes on me felt heavy.

"You want to take part in this whole mess!?" Another man beside me stood up.
"This is madness! They can all go to hell. Didn't you notice what they've done to us?"
He looked around the room, the people's gazes filled with pain.

He rubbed his temples, as if trying to pull the memory out. His eyes darted across the room ‒ desperate, searching.

"I can't remember a damn thing. Nothing! And that's the case for all of us. I don't know what I'm doing here, I don't know why I have to fight, and I don't know who the hell I am!" He took a step closer to me.

"And what about you?!" His gaze was filled with rage. Not at me, but at the situation.

"Of course, I feel the same as you." I hesitated to continue speaking.
"But do we have another choice? Do you have any plan that will get you out of here?" I looked determined into his eyes.

He looked away from my gaze.

"I think he's right." The tall man came over to me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
"I think we should adopt his mindset and join in... or at least pretend to."

The other man fell back onto his bed, the frustration finally released.

"You guys are crazy... But only until we've found a way out."

I felt relieved.

"Let's talk about something else!" The tall man raised his voice.
"I'm tired of always talking about 'he,' 'she,' and whatever else."

The people looked at him, confused. What did he mean by that?

"Names. We've forgotten our old ones, so how about... we give ourselves new ones? Each of us should have a name. Otherwise, we're just going to fade away here."

The confusion in the crowd faded, and curiosity emerged in the people's eyes.

"Good idea." The red-haired woman was standing now as well.
"In the long run, it can really be exhausting not to have one. Those people out there probably don’t care whether we have names or not, but between us..." She placed her hand on her chest. "... it at least feels a bit like normality."

The others gradually agreed.

"And who gives the names?" I looked at the tall man.

"Don't care. As long as it fits the person." He shrugged. "But I won’t give myself one."

I looked at him closely.

He was muscular and, despite his serious appearance, had a friendly aura. He had a short dark beard that framed his face. He was also tall, almost towering...

"How about Kyodai?"
His gaze met mine. A grin formed on his face.

"Like it. Alright. From today, I’ll be Kyodai. Hopefully, this name won’t disappear too quickly."

He looked around the room, his gaze landing on the red-haired woman.

"You there! From today, you'll be Akai." Pride appeared in his eyes, as though he had been preparing this name for a while.

The woman looked at him, confused, then took her hair in her hand and solved the riddle. A smile passed over her lips.

"Alright. I get it. Fine. Then I’ll be Akai."

The people had fun giving names. In this hopeless situation, it was something that almost felt normal. Something pleasant that could distract us from the events so far and those to come.

Gradually, everyone got their name. People didn't always seem happy, but they accepted it.

The short man with the dirty blonde hair was now called Yogore. A soft laughter spread through the room. The laughter felt strange ‒ like a language that one had almost forgotten.

The young woman in the corner, who had stopped crying by now, was now named Namida. She was embarrassed, but even she offered no protest.

"What should we do with you?" Kyodai studied me thoughtfully.

"How about Kuro?" Akai grinned challengingly.

"No. The same thing again would be too easy. That's enough with you." Kyodai shook his head, then became serious.

"Hmm..." He looked around. The people seemed... more human. Something had changed.

"I got it. Nozomu."

I felt all eyes turn toward me. The word echoed inside me.

Nozomu.

"No." The word came out faster than I expected.

Silence.

"No?" Kyodai raised his eyebrows.

"I... I don't want that name."

"Why not?" Akai crossed her arms.

I breathed heavily. "I'm not... that. Hope. I'm ready to do whatever it takes to get out of here. But hope? Hope is for people who believe in the good. I'm not sure if I still do."

Silence. No one spoke out immediately.

Then Kyodai sighed. "And that's exactly why you need that name ‒ for all of us."

I looked up.

"Do you think I see anyone here who isn’t scared?" Kyodai ran his hand through his beard. "Everyone here is fighting with themselves. No one feels like a bearer of hope. But that's exactly why it's important that someone becomes one."

He placed a hand on my shoulder. "A name is not what you are. A name is what you can become. So wear it ‒ and make something of it. If not for yourself, then at least for us."

I wanted to argue. But what could I have said? That I wasn’t worthy? That I didn’t feel like hope? They all knew that already.

I held Kyodai’s gaze. Calm, piercing ‒ as if he were measuring me. Not me, but what I could be for the others.

I felt my fingers slowly loosen. I hadn’t even noticed that I had been clenching my fists.

Nozomu.

Maybe it wasn't my name. Not yet. But when I get out of here... maybe it could be.