It's never a good idea to bottle your feelings

“We finally finished it!” Ayako said as she stretched her body.

“Yeah, that wasn’t easy at all.” It was about six pm by the time they finished their essay. It should have been a piece of cake but they got easily distracted by Hiroko. Her cuteness was all over the place.

Suddenly, a stomach growled. Looking from the source, it was Hiroko. “I’m hungry…”

“I guess it’s time to eat. Wait a minute, I’ll order some pizza.”

She grabbed Haru’s phone before he could call for a delivery. “Pizza!? You’re gonna let Hiroko eat pizza!?” She looked baffled as if Haru did something wrong.

“Y-Yeah, with the money my mother left, it should be enough for the three of us. What’s wrong with that?”

“That’s no good! How will Hiroko grow up to be a beautiful, healthy girl if you feed her unhealthy foods!?”

Haru’s eyes widened as he immediately realized his mistake. Pizza was generally considered a junk food. It was delicious but health-wise, it wasn’t good for you especially for a six-years old.

“My bad, you’re right. But I don’t know what food is good for her.”

“Well, I can cook for you guys.”

“Wait, you can cook?” Haru furrowed his brows as he looked at her in disbelief.

“Why is your face like that? You don’t believe me?” she pouted.

“You’re not exactly the reliable type of person…”

“Is that so? Guess I'll just have to show you!” Ayako took that comment to her heart as she defiantly grinned.

“Well, I guess as long as Hiroko can eat something healthy…”

She nodded heavily. “Just leave it to me! I swear, I won’t let Hiroko be disappointed! Where’s your mother’s apron?”

Ayako took the apron and wore it on top of her school uniform. She folded the cuffs of her sleeve so as not to dirty it and tied her hair back in a bun. She’d done it so smoothly that it looked like she had done it a couple of times.

“What you think? I got the looks, don’t I?” Ayako twirled around.

I mean, let’s be real here. Anything she wears is gonna look good on her. Some people just look that good.

Haru looked away. “Just don’t get my mother’s apron too dirty.”

Ayako pouted. “Is it okay if I used the ingredients here?”

Haru nodded. “Use whatever you need. Anything I can do to help?”

“Not really. Oh, but can you cook the rice?”

“Yeah, I'm on it.”

Ayako did it all in a fluid manner. She cleanly cut the chicken, garlic and onion as she prepared the sauce. Added the sauce without even measuring it and meticulously fried it even using a timer on her phone.

Afterwards, Ayako brought the food to the table. She had made teriyaki chicken with steamed rice and a side of miso soup. The smell alone made Haru gulp in anticipation and it made his stomach growl like he hadn’t eaten in days.

“It smells really good!” Hiroko commented, sitting beside Haru.

“It makes me happy you like my cooking, Hiroko.” Ayako said as she smiled. She then turned to Haru. “Haru, what do you think? Has your view of me changed?”

“The battle is not yet over. I have to taste it first.”

Haru scooped rice mixed with teriyaki chicken. He blew on it, and then in in his mouth. Immediately, he tasted the rich taste of the sauce spreading on his mouth. The chicken

“Fine, fine, I’ll give credit where it’s due. This is really well-done.”

“It’s really good!” Hiroko added.

Ayako couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear. “Hehe, I told you I can cook!”

“It really is surprising. Where’d you learn to cook like this?”

“Well, I learned how to cook because of Sora...” The smile on her face slowly faded away as she was once again reminded of her situation.

“I told you, just move on already.”

“And I told you, it’s not that easy.” Ayako pouted.

“What are you talking about?” Hiroko asked, looking confused at the two.

“It’s nothing...Anyway! Let me take a picture of you, Hiroko!”

Ayako took out her phone and took a bunch of photos of Hiroko eating her food. Haru was a bit jealous but then he realized he could just ask for the photos later.

“Oh, my. I didn’t notice there was already another family living here.” Out of nowhere, Haru’s mother appeared. She mentioned earlier that she was going to the salon and her time there was definitely worth it as she looked like she became younger.

Ayako immediately stood up and said, “Good evening, Ms. Shiraishi. I’m Fuyuki Ayako, a classmate of Haru. I hope I’m not intruding…”

“Oh, my. Already in first-name basis. Such a respectful girl, too. Hehe, it seems like my Haru hit a jackpot.” She brushed her eyes as if brushing away tears.

“Mom, it’s not like that. She’s just a classmate.”

“That’s what also your Father used to say when I came home to his house. Ah, I miss those times…”

“I’m sorry, Ayako, my mother is just like that.”

“I don’t mind. All mothers are just like that.”

“Oh, my. Did you cook for them, Ayako?” She asked as she looked at the food in the table.

“Yes, Haru was trying to feed Hiroko unhealthy foods, so I instead cooked for them. You can try them if you want.”

“Oh, my. Thank you very much. My son is very unreliable, I’m sorry for that.” Haru’s mother tasted her cooking, “Oh, my. You’ll make a good wife.”

“Hehe, it’s nothing. I just want Hiroko to grow up healthy.”

After dinner, Haru washed the dishes while Ayako kept Hiroko and his mother accompanied. It was a great day for her. She played with her big brother, gained a new big sister and ate food that she liked. No wonder she easily fell asleep, laying on Ayako’s lap while her hair was caressed.

“Well, I think it’s about time I go home.” Ayako said as she glanced at the clock. It was around 7 pm on the dot. It was a good time to head home as they had finished eating already.

“Where do you live?” Haru asked.

“Why? You gonna stalk on me?” A mischievous smile appeared on Ayako’s face.

“No, so I know if I can walk you all the way home.” Haru said, a serious look on her face.

With such a serious look on his face, she became flustered as a red tinge appeared on her cheeks. “I-It’s just two stations away...”

“Well, I guess I'm walking you to the station.” Haru said as he stood up.

Haru was worried that she might get hit on again. With him being by her side, it should lower the risk of it happening. Besides, if he sent her home all alone, he would be no better than what Takata did during the night of Christmas Eve.

“Make sure to protect Ayako, okay? If something happens, you should sacrifice yourself in order to protect her. The world can’t lose someone as precious as Ayako.”

“Should you really be saying that to your son!?”

“Hehe, I’m just joking. All right, you two, be careful.”

“Yes, we will. Thank you for your hospitality.”

“Ayako, you’re so cute! You’re welcome to come back anytime. Actually, you don’t even need to leave, why don’t I adopt you instead and live here?”

"I-I'm gonna have to talk to my parents first..." 

"Don't take her seriously. She'll want to adopt you more." 

“Bye-bye, Fuyuki!” Hiroko waved her hands. “Come back and play with me, okay?”

Ayako smiled from ear to ear hearing those words. “What a cute little angel you are! You bet I will come back!”

“Alright, let’s go, Ayako, before my mom really won’t make you leave.” Haru said as he urged her to leave.

“See you later!”

The sky above had turned completely black, with the occasional stars pushing away the darkness as it shone brightly. The road ahead would be consumed by darkness if it had not been for the streetlights and the lighted up houses they passed by.

“It’s pretty cold tonight, huh? Thanks for lending me this jacket, Haru.” Ayako said as a cold breeze passed by. It was still January, and the temperature during night was unbelievably cold.

The jacket she wore was Haru’s second favorite jacket—He was wearing his favorite at the moment. Since Haru was larger than Ayako, the jacket was too big for her. Haru had seen his fair share of girls wearing their oversized jacket, but this was the second time he found it cute on a girl. First was his sister.

“I just don’t want you freezing on me again.” Haru looked away.

“Hehe, Don’t worry, I won’t.”

“By the way, sorry about my mother. We don’t really get many guests in the house, so she’s just excited to see some new faces.”

“Don’t worry about it. My mother is also kinda like that. I guess, in general, mothers just enjoy having guests in their houses. Don’t you think so?”

“Well, true. Although, she did say she wanted to adopt you.”

Ayako playfully laughed. “Yeah, what’s up with that?”

Haru placed his hand on his chin. “If I have to guess, maybe she wants a grown-up daughter? Hiroko mostly spends her time playing with me and my father, so maybe she feels like she’s being left behind.”

“I wouldn’t mind being adopted into your family. I don’t have any sibling, and now I have seen Hiroko, I actually want her to be my sister. I feel so jealous to you right now.” She pouted.

“Hehe, I told you she’s the best. Also, I don’t want you being adopted to my family. You’re too annoying.”

Ayako stopped on her tracks and just blankly looked at him.

“W-What?”

She then suddenly started chuckling. “Nothing, I’m just not used to being called annoying.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup.”

Although most people would be hurt being called annoying, she was surprisingly happy.

“Anyway, send me those pictures you took of Hiroko.”

“Oh? You're gonna have to pay for my service.”

“How about I take that jacket from you?”

“Wait, Haru, I was just kidding!”

As Ayako unlocked her screen, a bunch of notification sounds caught Haru’s attention. Unintentionally looking over, he saw her lips pursed just like it had been whenever she looked at her phone. “What’s wrong?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing!” she said, waving her hands. “I’ve sent them. Great shots, aren’t they?” A grin appeared on her face. He could have sworn Ayako looked worried but Hiroko’s picture took priority.

“Yeah, they really are.” Haru said, a child-like smile on his face. Then he realized the face he was making, “W-Well, they’re only great because Hiroko is on it!”

As Haru looked at Ayako again, she was looking at another picture on her phone. The pictures were her friends having fun.

I really have to stop feeling pity whenever I see her sad face.

“Hey, why don’t we stop at the playground for a minute?” Haru pointed at the children’s playground.

“Huh?”

“My feet kinda hurts, and I want to drink something.”

Not waiting for Ayako’s response, Haru walked towards the park.

Since it was already night, only the nearby streetlights and the vending machine illuminated the playground. Not a single living thing could be seen except for the two. Haru felt like they were doing something illegal.

After getting milk and sweetened hot coffee, Haru headed for the bench. There, Ayako sat, still fiddling with her phone. It seemed like she was chatting with someone.

“Here you go.”

“Thanks.” Ayako lightly placed it on her cheeks, alternating to the other before it got too hot. “That feels so good.” She said, a blissful smile on her face.

This is a bit too sweet. Haru thought as he drank his coffee.

“So, how’s your feet?” Ayako asked as she looked at his feet.

“O-Oh, they’re fine…Must have been sore from all that walking.”

“You know we’ve only been walking for ten minutes, right? There’s no way you’re that out of shape!”

“W-What can I say, my sedentary lifestyle must have caught up to me…Anyway, enough about me. What about you?”

She tilted her head innocently. “What about me?”

“W-Well, I was wondering if you had fun today…”

She nodded happily. “Of course, I did! My cheeks already hurt from smiling so much because of Hiroko.” She then gently rubbed them.

“A very natural thing to happen.” Haru nodded in agreement a couple of times before going back in track. “Nothing happened bad today?”

Ayako flinched ever so slightly. “O-Of course nothing bad happened…”

She’s really bad at lying.

“I saw you were looking at pictures of your friends.”

“W-What about it?”

“And well…you look a bit sad.”

Ayako’s eyes bulged a bit. “Usually, I don’t really care about the business of others. But you did help me get a partner, finish our work, and most importantly, my sister likes you. So I'm willing to help you out.”

“Help me out? I don’t really need help. There’s nothing wrong in the first place.” Haru couldn’t see her expression as she lowered her head. She was usually the happy-go-lucky girl when it was just them but her cold voice made him want to back off.

“You were sad because they were having fun without you, right?” Ayako twitched but she didn’t say a word. “Seeing them being all goofy and happy without you felt painful, right?”

Ayako still didn’t say anything, but she did bob her head a little. She couldn’t hangout with her friends much because Takata was there. Because he rejected her, Ayako couldn’t stand being near him. She distanced herself from anything that was related to Takata, including her friends.

She probably just wanted to come to my house so she can avoid Takata.

“I…I really wanted to come with them today. But whenever Sora is near, I just feel like crying. I don’t know anymore what I should do…” She croaked, her voice filled with uncertainty.

“As I’ve said before, you have to move on. There are so many other—”

“And I have told you many times already, it’s not that easy!” She raised her voice loudly as she looked at him with furrowed brows. Her response this time was different compared to her playful response before. “I can’t just move on, okay!? It’s difficult! I have loved him for many years! I even followed him into this school! I learned how to cook just for him. I spent so much time with him, telling me to move on is like telling me to just throw away all the things I’ve done! Tell me why he didn’t choose me!? Why couldn’t he love me!? Did I do something wrong? Was I ugly? Did I lack in something? Tell me, please...because I would change anything...Just tell me what did I do wrong...” Grabbing Haru’s sleeve, her voice echoed loudly in the park. As she said those words, tears fell on her cheeks as her voice gradually became weaker and weaker.

I guess she was bottling all these feelings.

Haru didn’t mean to make her cry. He just wanted to offer a solution to her problem, but it seemed that he just added more water in a cup full of it.

Haru, without thinking, caressed Ayako’s head. It was completely out of reflex as her actions reminded him of his little sister. Whenever Hiroko would cry, she would always cling to Haru, and he would always console the child by patting her head.

“I’m sorry I said that. It was insensitive of me.”

Ayako continued to bawl as he sat there trying his best to remain silent. He had already made her cry with his ignorant words, the least he could do was to make it even worse by saying something wrong. Besides, he didn’t even know what to say in the first place.

After five minutes of crying, she lifted her head up, and with a sniffle, said. “I’m sorry for lashing out to you…”

“It’s fine. It was my fault in the first place.”

Ayako grabbed a tissue from her bag and cleaned her face. “No, I should thank you. I actually feel better now. Thinking all those negative thoughts has been rough for me.”

“So, I became a punching bag, huh? Well, I deserved it, anyway.”

She giggled. “You make a good punching bag.”

“Yes, yes, whatever you say.” For a minute, silenced enveloped the two. “So, what do you plan on doing now?”

“Well, I guess I’ll follow your advice.”

“Move on? But I thought you said you can’t.”

“I mean, eventually I guess I’ll have to, right? After all, there’s nothing I can do to change his feelings towards me.” she said with a wistful smile.

“I’ll have to talk him again but I don’t think I can do this alone…So, you said you’ll help me, right…?”

Haru sighed. “Fine. I did say I’ll help you out. So, when are you planning to talk to him? Just so you know, I’m very, very busy on weekends.”

She whipped out her phone and pressed her fingers on it as if texting someone. “Now.”

“Wait, what?”

Without a word, she showed her phone to his face and revealed the message: “Meet me at the usual spot.”

“I’m gonna do it now before I get scared again!”

This woman is crazy.