VII. deserts in the river

"So the empress wants to be a bard!" Lucine chimed (no other word was a accurate). "The tyrant who crawled from under a rock and slayed our gods now wants to sing to their graves! Might you need singing lessons, Your Highness?"

Selene's mouth hung open.

Lucine cleared her throat. "Let's do a quick test! Please follow my tune. Do re mi..."

"Fa sol la si..."

"Keep going!"

"Do..." But then my throat stopped working again. I didn't think I could go that much higher anyway. I realized, too late, that she'd given wrong names to the notes, singing higher than they should be.

"That is too bad, Your Highness. Ah, Selene! How have you been, my dearest childhood friend? I've been waiting for hours now to get a 'hello', but it appears as though life among lizards who wear lingerie to work has changed you. No matter. Thoughts and prayers!"

All of this, she said with the exact same tone as when she cast healing spells on the party.

Selene and I exchanged glances.

"SIlence!"

He flinched, but Lucine cast the spell on herself. Other than turning monochrome, she was otherwise unaffected. Her soft smile did not change. With that said, due to her self-imposed status effect, she would not be able to speak for some time.

Interestingly, this seemed to spread to us in a roundabout way, for neither Selene nor I said anything. I was far less disturbed than he, if only because I knew her less. There was a side quest near the edge of the map in which an abandoned village led to a girl who had gone mad after being a cult's martyr for too long. At first, she appeared to be the lone survivor of a tragedy, but soon it became obvious that she was the sole perpetrator instead... or was she? Who had caused her to snap in the first place?

At the end of the quest, players had the option to kill her or let her be. If they let her be, then they could find her wandering around the village, though they could not interact with her again. If they killed her, the village would be locked out of the map, for Aelius would say he did not want to think of 'that' again.

In this world, she was alive. I could dump Lucine next to her so they could be crazy together.

There was a vendor at the foot of the mountain. In a different type of game, he would've sold endgame weapons and armor, but in this one, where premium currency from Beyond bought power, he sold ingredients for cooking instead. At the foot of a mountain. He was also a purple bipedal cat carrying a giant bag. An orange bipedal cat carrying a giant bag rested not too far away. I bought corn dogs. "Want one?" I asked Lucine.

She glanced at her hands, still tied with scraps of her own cape.

"That is too bad. You, Selene?"

He remained disturbed.

"Oh, well. Please add ten to my inventory."

As the vendor did, he asked, "Where are you going? I heard Tomland is holding up, but other than that... it's chaos. The next town, Carland, already imprisoned their chief and declared themselves a sovereign territory. They might not be the friendliest to your kind."

The chief had been an imperial sympathizer, so no surprises there. "I see. And the next town?"

"Yusukeland? Hmm..."

"Yusukeland is even worse!" Called out the other vendor. "Apparently one of the General's commanders landed there and got imprisoned. They've been taking turns killing her every time she respawns. Same as some alleged 'prince of silk'."

Selene ran his hand down his face. I gave both of the vendors a hefty tip. They started to purr. 

As I turned to continue on my journey, Selene began, "Did..." to then trail off. "Never mind." He then walked ahead. 

Vegetation in the region was sparse, and unlike post 1.0 expansions, was mostly green and yellow. Grasslands spread as though the sky slumbered upon them. Save for a tree, a cliff, or an abandoned hut here and there, there was nothing to see. Was it a law that starter areas had to be boring? Who knew. At times I almost yearned to jump outside this tiny universe, if nothing else, to at try to begin to comprehend the logic of this world's real gods, but then I'd page through the libraries, which the devs had stuffed with public domain books from Beyond, and I'd shiver at their misery.

A lone traveler heading to Tomland waved at us. I waved back, but no one else did. I was an erudite at blending in with the weaklings. "Avoid Carland at all costs," was her warning.

To which Selene responded, "And Yusukeland?"

"...ehh..." the traveler gave Lucine a once-over. "...I wouldn't risk it."

"Doesn't it have a majority elf population?"

"Yeah, but here you have a half-elf traveling with dragonfolk and a human. They've been torturing a dark elf for hours because she showed up with a 'Seer'... and because she's a traitor. Meh. Oh, yeah, by the way, I'm using the slur because they used it and I was relaying the message, not because I agree with it. I have human friends. Bye."

"Bye." A few steps later, Selene glanced at Lucine from the corners of his eyes. He then stared at me. I stared back. Before I could tell him 'yes, we will', he teleported a few meters into the air and, while Lucine giggled—her spell had worn out minutes ago—, Selene began to ice surf his way to Yusukeland. 

To which Lucine said, "What a simple creature."

For a few seconds, we watched Selene theatrically swirl in the air, the trail behind him vanishing as he slid through his makeshift path. I couldn't help but agree. Back when he, too, was nothing but words on a page, his character was a pale imitation (pun intended) of a certain character who'd also exchanged his friends for power. Why? In order to avenge his clan. 

Soon, Selene was a white dot at the distance again, then a ghost. As I resumed the journey, I asked, "Why don't you two get along?" 

Lucine waited a few seconds to walk so that she'd do so behind me. "What gives you that impression?"

"You seem less like childhood friends and more like co-workers who hate each other but took the elevator at the same time."

"...pardon me?"

And that's how I knew she hadn't gone to the library. Those who did, me included, spoke about faraway concepts as though we knew what they were. "Is Aelius the elevator?"

"Forgive me, lizard, but you'll have to stop speaking in riddles."

 I'd captured Lucine on a whim and, frankly, she slowed me down, but something told me she'd turn out to be a highly entertaining acquisition. I said, "The canon reason is that both of you fancy... ahem, are quite fond of Aelius. What is the real one?"

Lucine giggled again. "Why the fuck would I tell you?"

"My, my, what indecorous language. I thought you liked me."

"Well, Your Highness! Liking someone doesn't mean I can't hate them. Aelius and Selene are great examples! I yearn to reach Yusukeland as soon as possible so I can witness their torture... until you save them, that it. Silence!"

And so I walked with a silent shadow behind me. 

Though we didn't enter Carland, we stopped by it, having abused the physics engine enough to crawl up a mountain that reached outside of the map. Historically speaking, autonomous zones were historically the kind of disaster I had to witness in person. 

This one certainly did not disappoint. Looting, riots, giant donuts being set on fire (tires had not been invented yet), a community garden that soon became a public toilet... the list went on and on. The moat they'd dug around the town border had a disturbing color. "Poor souls," said Lucine, whose silence spell had apparently worn off again. "Please allow me to cleanse their spirits."

"By...?"

"I will cast a spell to soothe their hearts."

...which meant untying her. A wiser soul would not have listened, but was the worst thing that could happen? Dying? The moment I tore the fabric off her wrists, Lucine smiled at me. "Thank you!" She exclaimed, then summoned her staff. With her arms extended, she began to chant: "Lighten the path of the weary!"

The stronger the spell, the more fanfare they demanded. Something like Selene's utilities or Powwow! could be casted with a thought (Kiya just really liked screaming onomatopoeias). Multi-character attacks, ultimate moves, and spells involving three elements often led to several second long combos and carpal tunnel (and a lawsuit). However, none of these held a candle to the absolute tomfoolery that were primal spells: the strongest ones of each category.

"Soothe the hearts of the broken!"

Chants that lasted longer than ten seconds, a spike in animation quality, epilepsy (and another lawsuit)... while flashy and apparently highly satisfying for a niche audience, most players never seemed to use them—understandably so.

"Annihilate EVERYOOONE!"

And so I didn't consider the possibility until it was too late.

"AURORA RAAAAAAIN!"

With that said, it was a pretty spell. Lots of colors, raining from the sky. Lots of screams, from the double-digit population perishing. 

Should I... should I not...

Oh, whatever, it was none of my business. "Follow me once you're done playing," I said, then continued my way down the mountain.