A Rare Moment of Oddity [Scene 7]

The dim green light of the set reflected liberally against the white clothed table. Two wine glasses sat perpendicular to each other as Jedd Young and Yunari sat face-to-face for their very first date. They were in an outside terrace of a luxury restaurant in the home planet of Yunari. It was the scene. We finally got this far in production. Today was the day. 

 Jedd Young sported his stupid Mexican Poncho of course, but Yunari, I actually decided to make some crucial character designs. We already shot too many scenes to go back so it will be a bitch to edit, but I thought her original skin color of green, should be changed to a more metallic gray, almost bluish. Space robot alien women are actually a different color in real life. An image of Yunaria flashed in my mind. 

She sported a silver headband with a pink ruby in the middle, wearing a platinum dress. 

Speaking of Yunari, or Jada Aime, for her being the woman lead in the film, I hadn't talked to her much admittedly. I guess I presumed she was an idiot like the rest of them. It was safer that way. My senses are usually right. As in all my films, I let the crew do what they do, so I can focus on my part. So, when Casting decided to choose a Black woman, it...caused a thing. 

Some people in the fan base were mad because the original Yunaria wasn't her skin color, and they thought the studio was doing a 'diversity hire' and she didn't earn it. The other side, said that since she was being casted as an alien, it was derogatory and that it produced a 'harmful image' of Black people. Personally, I didn't care. It all seemed like far too much thinking for me. However, as a director, I did find it enjoyable to watch her act. That idiot Ryan Ashley, however, might ruin the fucking movie before it even hit the theaters. 

Did I do something to deserve to be surrounded with such dunces?

"Rolling action," the assistant director screamed, silencing the noise on set. 

"Take one, action!"

A lone light atop the set hovered an emerald green above the dinner table. It was the two of them, across from each other over the white tablecloth. The gold railing blocked them off from the sprawling cityscape in the distance. A green moon danced in the atmosphere, inspiring Yunari to pick up her glass of wine and rotate it to catch the aroma. Her tiny, almost imperceptible smile that tugged from her lips accentuated the red lipstick she wore. 

"So, you're a cowboy from Earth?" Yunari asked playfully. 

"I am, not a very good one, ma'am. If I was, I wouldn't have ended up in this strange planet." Jedd fidgeted, laughing nervously as he sipped his wine. 

"Well, you're always welcomed here. I wish I could leave this cursed planet. All the boyfriends that I've had, seemed to mysteriously die..." She trailed off, but hurriedly continued, "But no, no, no. Don't you worry, it's only our first date. We aren't a couple yet."

"Right...if you were human, I'd almost think you're crazy. What does a robot woman like yourself do for fun around here?" He eased his shoulders, relaxing his body a bit. This was a great first take. 

"What is a human? What is a robot? These are just terms. What matters is love, Jedd," she looked deeply into his eyes, grabbing his hand. "Will you be my human and I be your robot for eternity? I know this is the first date, and I'm moving fast...it's just, I fancy you. Ever since I saw that Mexican Poncho, I knew we were destined to meet."

I wonder if I can put my name as director in small fine print, at the very back of the credits sort of like those infomercials that sold you faulty medicine, so they didn't get sued.

Jedd stood up, gently removing his hand from hers and placed his cowboy hat on the table. He briskly walked over to the railing of the terrace and stared at the green moon. "I only wanted to see the outer space, what lied beyond Earth. Who knew I'd find everything I was looking for in a single robot." He jumped up and stood on the railing—wait. What is he doing?

Someone from set design must've attached a string between Jedd's hand and the cowboy hat because he opened his hand, and it flew right to him, knocking over the wine glass and spilling it all over Yunari's platinum dress. Oh no. A Ryan Ashley tangent. I was about to end the scene, but before I could, Jedd (still in character) bellowed out in a raspy voice.

"I LOVE ROBOT WOMEN, but Yunari," he softened his voice, "I only want to be with you. A galaxy of adventures isn't worth a single moment without you in them." I blinked a couple of times to make sure this was real. Of course this wasn't in the script!

Jedd Young backflipped off the railing and landed on his knee right in front of Yunari who had a coy look. She blushed and turned away. I'm surprised she went along with this garbage, but I suppose, I'll see where this goes. At least it's not a banana suit.

"Will you marry me?" Jedd asked starry-eyed, placing the cowboy hat on top of Yunari's head. 

She leaned up and kissed Jedd, surprising even him in the act and responded, "Of course, my wubby hubby!"

"Cut!" I yelled and the bell sounded off. 

The lights cut back on and to my not completely taken aback surprise, the entire crew on set jeered and applauded the performance. 

***

I leaned outside the actor trailers and pulled a cigarette out of my pocket. I didn't know how to feel. On one hand, I'm glad the scene resonated well with the crew. It was the first time that everyone agreed on the direction of the film. A sensation as a unit, a production, we hadn't felt since we started shooting a month or so ago. Everyone was getting tired and exhausted, add in the looming deadline. And that was only the beginning. Editing, press run, promotion, piecing together loose ends, the real work. Seeing the crew excited made me remember why I loved directing so much. The loose ends, the vision only I could unite with the help of a wonderous crew. 

The problem is, they all love idiotic movies, and my imprint is nowhere to be found in the film. Script changes, improvisations, banana suits that made me shudder. Even when things go right for a change, it had nothing to do with me. That bastard Ryan, even a broken clock is right twice a day. 

A rumble came from in the trailer I was leaning on, and the door swung open. The star on the front of it read 'Jada Aime'.

"Oh, hey director, or Haruka, or Ryujin, which do you prefer?" Jada popped from behind the door with the make-up crew leaving her trailer, "Thanks guys, see you tomorrow. What are you still doing here?"

Her skin was light brown, and she wore braids to her shoulder with glass balls on the end. She had super thin but not overly thin eyebrows. Her lips stayed glossed. It was a bit distracting in the 'headlights of a car' kind of way. I did know she loved candy though, because it's all she ate. 

"Whatever you want to call me," I flicked the cigarette on the ground, "Nice work. 8 am tomorrow, we have a 12 hour shoot again." I turned away to go home. I had a real robot to deal with.

Jada held a lollipop in her mouth. "It was a good choice to change the skin of Yunari, it gives an ethereal vibe to the character. A nice upgrade from the earlier films. It feels like a different movie."

I stopped in my tracks. "What do you mean? It was just on a whim, nothing much really."

"Sure, even so. I think it's cool. In a room full of idiots, I prefer to stand out. Thanks for that."

In a rare moment of oddity, I felt...I don't know, a kindred spirit. Maybe at least one person on this crew wasn't slathered in tar, dancing in a tinfoil hat. 

"You've noticed?" I chuckled, " It's hard to take anything serious. Question, do you like hot dogs?"

We left the set for the day and found a stand on Hollywood Boulevard. Double deck red Tour buses passed us by while crowds of people swarmed by us with cameras. High rise buildings mixed with palm trees. A blue sky that began to show traces of purple. The granite sidewalk plagued with golden stars that had the names of famous people made me wonder if I'd ever be up there.

"Uh, Ryujin," Jada began, "Why are we in costumes?"

I thought it best to dress as an elderly couple. We were famous-adjacent after all. Incognito. 

"It's better this way,"

"I mean, I'm up and coming. Have you considered that maybe that you are also an idiot?"

"Never crossed my mind," I stared into the distance, "Random question, what would you do if you had a girlfriend that was an actual robot alien from space like Yunari?"

Jada had her mouth full of hot dog, wiping her face with a napkin. "Mm, mm, this is good. But I don't know. Depends. How is she?"

"She loves gasoline, is very direct, highly intelligent and loves vampire novels."

"Sounds cool. A lot cooler than Yunari, that's for sure."

"Why'd you accept this movie? No one seems to take it seriously. They improvise and mess stuff up, just...it's hard to direct something like this. With all these...I don't know." I trailed off. Who knew what I was saying? 

"Well," she finished her hot dog and stuck a piece of gum into her mouth, "People like Space Cowboy Robot Love for the allure of idiocy. We all know it's bad. That is the point. Sometimes you have to embrace the stupidity. There's an art to making something bad, good."

I pondered on her words later on that night. In a world full of idiots, it's possible that maybe Jada wasn't one of them and who I thought her to be. 

 When I got home, a small sense of familiarity washed over me knowing that I could at least bring my girlfriend gasoline and that was the most normal thing that would've happened to me today. But when I arrived, she wasn't there.

***