Chapter 8 – The Bathhouse Incident

Elena let out a long, exhausted sigh as she walked through her family’s estate.

Behind her, Carrion followed closely, holding a fork.

Yes. A fork.

And he was staring at it like it held the secrets of the universe.

Elena glanced back at him, still irritated about the whole “forced to date an eldritch being” thing.

“Why are you still carrying that?” she asked, voice flat.

Carrion tilted his head.

“I am studying it.”

Elena pinched the bridge of her nose.

“It’s just a fork.”

Carrion shook his head. “No. It is a well-disguised secret weapon.”

Elena snatched the fork out of his hands.

“Confiscated.”

Carrion narrowed his eyes. “I knew it.”

Elena rolled her eyes.

They continued walking, the grand estate surrounding them. Marble pillars, floating lanterns, and beautiful gardens stretched across the courtyard.

Despite her annoyance, Elena had to admit—this was… weirdly normal.

Sure, Carrion was an ancient being, and sure, he had no concept of social norms, but… he didn’t seem that bad.

If she ignored the “whole mate thing.”

As they turned a corner, they approached a set of large wooden doors.

Above it, a golden sign gleamed in elegant cursive:

"Bathhouse."

Carrion stared at it.

“…Do humans still use such things?”

Elena gave him a look. “Of course we do.”

Carrion nodded thoughtfully.

“Interesting.”

Before Elena could question what he meant—

Carrion grabbed her, hoisted her over his shoulder, and marched into the bathhouse.

Elena’s soul left her body.

“W-WAIT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”

Carrion ignored her protests and walked inside.

The heavy wooden doors slammed shut.

Outside, a maid—who had just witnessed the whole thing—shed a single tear.

“She will be remembered,” the maid whispered.

Inside the Bathhouse

Carrion strode into the bathhouse with complete confidence, ignoring the fact that Elena was thrashing against his back like a trapped cat.

The room was massive—marble walls, steaming pools, and golden fixtures lined the chamber.

The bath itself?

It was less of a bath and more of an Olympic-sized swimming pool.

Carrion walked up to the edge.

“Baths are for washing, yes?”

Elena’s survival instincts kicked in.

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT—”

SPLASH!

Elena hit the water, fully clothed.

She resurfaced, gasping for air.

Her wet hair clung to her face as she wiped it away, her expression one of pure rage and disbelief.

“What,” she sputtered, “is your PROBLEM?!”

Carrion stood at the edge, arms crossed, staring at her like a disappointed parent.

“You are a human,” he stated. “You should wash yourself like a good human.”

Elena’s eye twitched.

She kicked her way to the edge, grabbing onto the marble ledge.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I must’ve missed the part where YOU are the authority on human hygiene!”

Carrion nodded.

“Yes.”

Elena dunked her own head underwater to scream.

Meanwhile, Carrion Was… Studying.

He crouched by the water’s edge, watching Elena with intense curiosity.

Water.

Strange.

It had been many epochs since he had interacted with it like this.

He reached out, dipping his clawed fingers into the water.

He could feel it—its warmth, the subtle ripples as it moved.

It felt…

Different.

Not like before.

Elena noticed him staring.

“…What now?”

Carrion tilted his head.

“Water feels… strange.”

Elena groaned. “It’s literally just water.”

Carrion stared into the steaming bath.

“…Is it?”

Elena squinted at him.

“Please don’t start some existential crisis about water.”

Carrion didn’t respond.

Instead, he stood up straight and—

Promptly stepped into the bath.

Elena’s Brain Crashed.

Carrion did not undress.

He walked into the water fully clothed, his long coat billowing behind him.

He moved with absolute seriousness, as if this was a sacred ritual.

Elena watched in stunned silence.

Carrion stopped once he was waist-deep.

“…I have bathed,” he announced.

Elena rubbed her temples.

“That’s… that’s not how bathing works.”

Carrion frowned. “No?”

Elena sighed. “You’re supposed to wash yourself.”

Carrion processed this.

Then, he turned to her with complete confidence.

“Wash me.”

Elena froze.

“…What.”

Carrion nodded, as if this was a completely reasonable request.

“You are human. You know how this works.”

Elena’s brain short-circuited.

“I—I’m NOT going to WASH YOU!”

Carrion blinked.

“…Why not?”

Elena’s face turned red.

She threw a handful of water at his face.

“BECAUSE IT’S WEIRD!”

Carrion took the water attack like a stone statue.

He wiped his face.

“…Humans are strange,” he muttered.

Elena sank back into the water, exhausted.

For a brief moment, the two of them just floated there.

The warm water surrounded them, steam curling into the air.

Carrion was quiet, for once not asking strange questions or doing anything ridiculous.

Elena took a deep breath.

This entire day had been a nightmare, but…

She couldn’t deny that Carrion was fascinating.

Not just because he was some ancient being.

But because he was so clueless.

Elena tilted her head, watching him.

“…Why are you like this?”

Carrion looked at her.

“…Like what?”

Elena sighed.

“You know. Weird.”

Carrion thought for a moment.

Then, he shrugged.

“…I do not know.”

Elena stared at him.

And then, for some reason…

She laughed.

It was small, at first. Just a chuckle.

But then it grew.

And before she knew it, she was full-on laughing.

Carrion watched her, intrigued.

“…Why are you laughing?”

Elena wiped her eyes.

“Because,” she said, grinning, “you’re the strangest person I’ve ever met.”

Carrion blinked.

Then, very softly—

“…I see.”

Elena’s smile softened.

Maybe, just maybe…

Dating an eldritch being wouldn’t be so bad after all.