Confronting Trauma

It was certainly a struggle, but Carolyn was able to return to the inn with all items still in her custody. Moving with the items she had bought often earned her glares and complaints as she tried to make it through the crowd, but seeing others with even bigger luggage pushing through encouraged her as she repeatedly apologized to those she had inconvenienced.

When she entered the inn, there was no one at the front desk, so she went straight to her room. At first glance, it didn't look like anyone had been inside since she left, and her extra measures hadn't been triggered either, so Carolyn put down her stuff and got to work.

A few hours later, Mila made her way up the stairs and knocked on Carolyn's room door. As this was Carolyn's first night, Margaret had told Mila to remind her to come down for dinner.

"Carol, are you there?"

"Yes. Please give me a moment."

After a couple seconds of waiting, the door opened.

"Sorry to keep you waiting. I was just doing some cleaning, so I had to move my things around before I could answer the door."

A look past the door showed a room so clean it seemed like it was made of a lighter shade of wood compared to the rest of the building.

"Did you paint in here?"

Despite having cleaned throughout the inn since she was a child, Mila had never seen any room of the inn this clean, so she genuinely wasn't sure if the rooms were supposed to look like this.

"Paint? No, the colour will return over time. I could make it stay like this for longer, but it uses up a lot of water so I decided not to. Would you like to come in and touch it for yourself, Ms. Mila?"

"Uh, no, it's fine. I just came to remind you about dinner."

Mila was honestly interested in Carolyn's proposal, but going inside her room still didn't seem right, even if it was with her permission.

"Oh, thank you. I'll be down there soon."

"Okay."

Once Mila left, Carolyn closed the door and considered her next steps. She could calm down while cleaning, but she still wasn't sure how to address her trauma regarding lustful gazes. Even ignoring them was difficult, but unless she planned on wearing her cloak whenever she stepped out of her room, they would inevitably become an issue.

Still, Carolyn found hope in Mila. Although Carolyn was more sensitive to these gazes, Mila's firm way of dealing with that sort of attention was admirable, and a trait she wanted to emulate. She believed that by watching Mila she would be able to find the clue she needed to overcome her fear. Asking her directly would be best, but Carolyn felt nervous about broaching that topic, so though she scolded herself, she settled with this method.

On her way downstairs, Carolyn paused her steps after detecting patrons heading to the tavern.

"I hope you got money to pay tonight, Roger."

"That bet was a huge scam, and you know it!"

"And I didn't force you to bet, did I?"

Fortunately, they didn't notice her, but considering how nervous she became during that moment, surviving dinner seemed like it would be harder than she hoped. Still, after taking some deep breaths, Carolyn continued her journey.

Upon entering the tavern, Carolyn found her vision filled with rowdy men and a few women in their midst who didn't lose in terms of noise and alcohol consumption. Carolyn's first objective was finding an empty seat, which fortunately she could do quickly, but thanks to how packed the room was, she would have to pass by some tables to reach any of the seats she found. As more patrons were still arriving, Carolyn quickly found her resolve and headed for the nearest seat.

She waded her way through the tables without trouble until a hand reached out for her wrist.

"Hey, beautiful."

With her sharp reflexes, Carolyn avoided the hand and headed to the seat she aimed for.

"Oi, don't be so rude! Damn broad."

Once the man went back to his drink, Carolyn almost felt relief, but then she noticed the gazes that she had been reluctant to meet. She took a deep breath and raised her hand to signal Mila, who was bringing out orders. Mila soon noticed her and headed in her direction after dropping off the orders she had.

"Do you know what you wanna order?"

Carolyn wanted to order so that she could have the excuse of eating while watching Mila, but once Mila arrived, Carolyn realized that she wasn't sure what she wanted to eat.

"Um, do you have a recommendation?"

"Well, we have our specialty chicken soup and roast beef."

"That sounds good. I'll have that, please."

"Okay."

Once Mila left the table, Carolyn took another deep breath and then shifted her gaze to Margaret. Although Mila was her main focus, she was also interested in how Margaret carried herself. Margaret's attitude and gestures were very similar to Mila, or rather, Mila had likely learnt them from watching Margaret. While Mila often came off as aloof, compared to Margaret, she was like a child. No matter who it was, even if they acted tough at first, they couldn't help taking a step back when facing Margaret. It wasn't simply fear or respect; it was like the obedience that one showed to their parents and elders. Perhaps to some patrons, Margaret really was like a mother to them.

"Hey pretty lady, I don't think I've seen you around here before."

While Carolyn was engrossed in watching Margaret, a man with a relatively light smell of booze on him sat in the chair to her right. Usually, Carolyn tried to greet others with a smile, but his eyes were so blatant that she had to applause herself for not making a grimace.

"Is that so?"

With the bare minimum response, Carolyn turned her head away. This was a clear sign of rejection, but the man didn't back down.

"I'm sure. After all, there's no way I would miss a pretty dame like you. Now come and show me that cute face of yours."

The man reached for her chin to pull her face towards him. With her anger about to overpower her fear, Carolyn tightly clenched her fist, but there wouldn't be a need to use it.

"Oi Patrick! If you don't want my hands on that greasy little face of yours, you better keep your hands off my guest."

Margaret's voice instantly attracted all eyes over to Carolyn's table. Carolyn was shocked that Margaret had noticed her dilemma, but not as much as Patrick, who was next to her. He quickly pulled back his hand and left the chair.

"Sorry, sorry. I didn't know she was your guest, Boss Lady."

"To go after Big Mama's guest. You sure got guts, Patrick."

"Guts? The only thing brave about him is his lower half. Hahaha!"

"I bet he would pour a drink out for a pig with makeup on. Kakaka!"

As jokes flew about, Carolyn looked towards Margaret, but she was back to work without paying her a second glance. Still, Carolyn bowed her head in gratitude.