Chapter 8: Paopaofurūtsu

It had been a week since Li-Jua, Ishi, and Miller had set out on their journey toward the southeastern region of Sanmyaku. If nothing else, the trip had been entertaining.

The constant bickering between Li-Jua and Miller provided endless amusement, especially when their arguments inevitably ended with the redhead face-first in the dirt. Ishi, never one to intervene, found the whole thing hilarious.

Miller, however, was not one to waste opportunities. Between beatings, he persistently attempted to hit on Ishi, though his methods were far more ridiculous than chivalrous. And each time, Ishi granted him a swift slap across the face, sending him reeling.

Li-Jua, of course, laughed the hardest.

That night, the trio sat around a crackling bonfire, their makeshift camp nestled within a small clearing in the forest. The flames flickered, casting shadows over their faces as the embers crackled in the still night air.

Li-Jua, stretching her arms behind her head, broke the silence.

"Alright, Ishi. Are you finally going to tell us where we’re actually headed?" she asked, her sharp eyes glinting in the firelight. "We’ve been moving south for days, but you still haven’t told us what we’re supposed to do."

Ishi, leaning back on her elbows, let out a dramatic sigh.

"Fine, fine. I suppose I’ll tell you." She sat up, her expression shifting into something mischievous. "We’re heading for the largest Pao-Pao fruit plantation in the empire. Our mission? Harvesting season is starting, and they need extra hands to collect the crop."

Silence.

Miller blinked. Then he threw his arms in the air, utterly baffled.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "You mean to tell me that after all this time, our great mission is picking fruit?! I was expecting a grand challenge! A battle against a mighty dragon, where I could dazzle you all with my unparalleled swordsmanship—"

THUD!

Miller’s poetic speech was cut short as Li-Jua elbowed him straight in the nose, nearly knocking him off his seat.

"Shut up, you third-rate alchemist," she sneered. "If we actually let you fight a dragon, you wouldn’t even last long enough to realize you’d been roasted alive."

Ishi snickered, but her expression soon turned serious as she looked at Li-Jua.

"You’ve figured it out, haven’t you?" she said. "This isn’t just about picking fruit."

Li-Jua narrowed her eyes.

"Obviously. You wouldn’t drag us all the way out here for manual labor. So what’s the real plan? What’s so special about these Pao-Pao fruits?"

Ishi smirked.

"The fruit itself? Nothing special. Just a regular fruit." She leaned closer, her voice dropping into a conspiratorial whisper. "But they just so happen to be the favorite delicacy of Emperor Mugen the Sixteenth."

Li-Jua raised an eyebrow.

"So?"

"So," Ishi continued, "the old bastard is obsessed with them. Not just for their taste, but because they supposedly help… enhance certain 'marital performances'."

Li-Jua frowned.

"...Marital performances?"

Ishi smirked.

"The emperor is getting old, Li-Jua. He’s desperate to impregnate his concubines to secure his bloodline. He’s tried every potion, every medicine, but nothing works like the Pao-Pao fruit."

She leaned back, crossing her arms.

"If you ask me, it’s probably just a placebo. But the important thing is that the emperor believes in it. And if we destroy the entire plantation, well… Let’s just say the old man’s 'royal duties' will become a whole lot harder."

Li-Jua stared at her for a moment. Then, a slow, dangerous grin spread across her lips.

"So your plan," she said, "is to wipe out the entire plantation just to spite the emperor?"

"Exactly," Ishi said, her voice brimming with satisfaction. "We promised chaos, didn’t we? This is just the beginning. I plan to tear the empire apart from the inside out."

Miller, who had been listening in disbelief, suddenly gasped.

"You want to destroy the Empire of Mugen?!"

Li-Jua and Ishi turned to him.

"...Yeah. Any problem with that?" Li-Jua asked, arching an eyebrow.

For a moment, Miller was silent. Then his eyes lit up with excitement.

"GENIUS!" he practically shouted. "Once we destroy the empire, I can become the new king! I’ll marry my dear Ishi, and together, we shall rule the land! All will bow before us—"

WHAM!

Li-Jua and Ishi simultaneously kicked him in the face, sending him flying backwards into the bonfire.

WHOOSH!

Miller let out a high-pitched yelp as the flames briefly engulfed him, his clothes catching fire in a comical display. Scrambling up, he frantically patted at the embers, his previous confidence reduced to panicked flailing.

As he dusted off his charred sleeves, Ishi turned back to Li-Jua, suddenly curious.

"By the way," she said, "this is the second time you’ve called this idiot an alchemist. Why?"

Li-Jua leaned back against a tree, cracking her knuckles as she eyed Miller with amusement.

"I figured it out the moment I saw you," she said. "Not that you were an alchemist specifically, but that you were definitely not a swordsman."

Miller scoffed, crossing his arms.

"What the hell are you talking about, you muscle-brained gorilla?! I am the greatest swordsman in the empire!"

Without a word, Li-Jua suddenly grabbed Miller’s wrist, twisted it behind his back, and locked an arm around his neck.

CRACK!

The redhead let out a strangled gasp, his body jerking in protest as Li-Jua held him in a chokehold that looked dangerously close to snapping him in half.

"Who the hell are you calling a muscle-brained gorilla?!" she snarled, her voice dangerously low.

Miller flailed uselessly, his legs kicking at the dirt as he struggled to breathe.

Yet, despite having him trapped like a helpless rabbit, Li-Jua continued her explanation as if nothing was happening.

"For starters," she said, "no actual swordsman carries their sword on their back, that’s just stupid. You’d need a three-meter-long arm just to unsheathe the damn thing properly."

She tightened her grip on Miller’s arm, making him let out a pathetic wheeze.

"Second, your sword is as tall as you are," she continued. "Either you’re unnaturally strong, or that thing weighs as much as a feather. And since I can easily toss you around like a sack of potatoes, I think we both know you’re not exactly a powerhouse."

Ishi snorted in amusement, watching Miller’s face turn red from the strain.

"And then there are your pathetic reflexes," Li-Jua added. "Back at the tavern, if I hadn’t stopped Ishi, she would’ve slapped you across the face. If you can’t even dodge a hit from a girl who’s clearly not physically trained, then in actual combat, you wouldn’t last five seconds against a snail."

Finally, after letting Miller suffer for another moment, she released him.

THUD!

Miller collapsed to the ground, gasping for air and clutching his throat as he coughed violently.

"Cough! Cough! Damn it…! Alright, alright! You got me!" he wheezed. "I’m not a swordsman! The sword is just for intimidation!"

Li-Jua smirked.

"I knew it."

Ishi, however, still wasn’t satisfied.

"Fine, you’re not a swordsman," she said, tilting her head. "But that still doesn’t explain why Li-Jua keeps calling you an alchemist."

She turned back to Li-Jua, curiosity gleaming in her eyes.

"Well?" she asked. "Why alchemist?"

Li-Jua leaned forward, smirking as she tapped her nose.

"Well, I don’t know if he’s an alchemist, but he sure smells like one, a pathetically bad one, to be honest. And more importantly, I don’t sense even a single drop of magic in him. You don’t either, right, Ishi?"

Ishi frowned, narrowing her eyes at Miller.

It was true. She hadn’t sensed even the faintest trace of mana flowing through his body. But she had assumed that was because he was a swordsman, after all, many warriors relied on spiritual techniques rather than magic.

"I thought it was because he was a warrior," she admitted. "Many fighters use spirit energy instead of mana."

Li-Jua chuckled.

"That’s what I thought at first, too," she said. "I considered the possibility that he was some kind of magical assassin or a chakra warrior, someone so skilled at concealing their magic that even I couldn't detect it, despite my sensory abilities."

She shot Miller a knowing look.

"But there was still something off about him. His smell kept confusing me."

Ishi raised an eyebrow.

"His… smell?"

"Yeah," Li-Jua said, nodding. "So I decided to test a theory. During the drinking contest, I secretly extended my auto-Dispel towards him."

Miller groaned, rubbing his temples.

"That damn spell…"

Li-Jua smirked, ignoring him.

"But even after using dispel, I still didn’t see any active spells, magical buffs, or even the faintest trace of mana on this idiot. Nothing."

Ishi’s curiosity deepened.

"Then… how did you beat him?"

Li-Jua grinned.

"Simple," she said. "I may not have seen any magic, but what I did see was that his body was packed with thousands of passive abilities, all running simultaneously. So, I just turned them off for a bit."

Miller sighed in frustration.

"Yeah. That’s how she defeated me," he admitted. "No one’s ever done that before."

Li-Jua nodded.

"It’s probably some unique ability of yours," she said. "You probably don’t even know how many regeneration or defensive passives are running inside you at all times. Even I couldn’t recognize all of them. Your body is in a constant state of self-repair, which means, in practical terms, you’re immune to non-lethal damage."

Miller grinned, puffing out his chest.

"That’s right," he said. "It’s my Unique Skill, Megalopassive."

Ishi and Li-Jua both stared at him, waiting for an explanation.

Miller cleared his throat dramatically.

"Since the day I was born, mages and alchemists from all over the world have tried to counteract my ability, but it’s never worked. Li-Jua is the only one who’s ever managed to suppress it. That’s one of the reasons I followed you."

Ishi crossed her arms.

"And why do you smell like an alchemist, then?"

Miller chuckled.

"Ah. That’s the funny part," he said. "You see, true alchemists channel their magic into potions, remedies, and minerals to enhance their effects. But I… I can’t do that."

He gestured at himself.

"Any tiny bit of mana that my body produces is immediately absorbed by my Megalopassive. Which means I can’t infuse magic into anything. However…"

He held up a finger dramatically.

"I can still create potions, elixirs, and enchanted minerals. They just happen to be ridiculously low-quality."

Li-Jua snorted.

"So, basically, you’re a terrible alchemist."

Miller glared at her.

"Let me finish!" he said. "The real kicker is that when I ingest my own potions, my Megalopassive multiplies their effects exponentially. It’s like having a personal portable cauldron that only works for me."

Ishi blinked, thinking it over.

"So… you’re saying you’re a walking alchemical amplifier, but only for yourself?"

"Exactly!" Miller said, grinning.

Li-Jua yawned.

"Basically," she said, "that makes you completely useless to us."

Miller froze, his eye twitching.

Ishi nodded in agreement.

"Yeah, that sounds pretty worthless."

Miller flailed his arms in frustration.

"Hey! I—! Wait, then why the hell did you let me join you?!" he yelled, pointing at Li-Jua.

The white mage smirked.

"Oh, that’s easy," she said.

She cracked her knuckles.

"I thought it’d be hilarious to have an infinite punching bag."

She burst into laughter, while Ishi chuckled beside her.

Miller turned bright red.

"YOU DAMN CAVE MAMMOTH!" he roared.

After spending the night mocking Miller relentlessly, the group finally settled down to rest. They still had a couple more days of travel before reaching Livepao, where they would put their scheme into action.

The journey was relatively uneventful, passing through rolling plains and sparse forests, the kind of scenery that made long travels feel endless. But finally, as they reached the crest of a hill, Livepao came into view.

From their vantage point, they could see that the city itself was unimpressive, a small, walled settlement that paled in comparison to the vast Pao-Pao fields surrounding it. The plantation stretched far beyond the horizon, a sea of crimson-red fruit dotted with golden leaves. The Pao-Pao fruit was round and thick, its plump, juicy flesh practically gleaming under the sunlight.

Li-Jua exhaled, arms crossed.

"Alright. What’s the plan?" she asked, turning to Ishi. "You gonna blast the fields from here with your magic?"

Miller snorted, crossing his arms.

"Are you insane?!" he scoffed. "Not even S-rank black mages could cast a spell from this distance and hit an area that massive! You’ve got the brain of a damn mosquito, you crazy gorilla!"

Before he could even blink—

WHAM.

Li-Jua’s elbow slammed into his nose, sending him sprawling onto the ground, groaning in pain.

"Of course you'd doubt it," she said casually, cracking her knuckles. "But trust me, Ishi can absolutely do it."

Miller groaned, clutching his face.

"Why do I keep traveling with you maniacs…?"

Ishi smirked.

"Well, Li-Jua isn’t wrong," she admitted. "I could destroy the fields from here if I wanted to."

Miller stared at her in horror, while Li-Jua grinned triumphantly.

"But I won’t," Ishi continued.

She gestured toward the city, her expression turning calculating.

"For starters, if I unleashed my magic here, it would wipe out half the town along with the fields." She shrugged. "Not that I particularly care, but it would cause too much commotion. If people start looking for culprits, this town is where the investigation would start. And that goes against our main rule, staying undetected so we can keep moving."

Li-Jua nodded.

"Then what’s the real plan?"

Ishi’s smile turned mischievous.

"We’re going to infiltrate the fields by accepting the job from the Kita Guild."

Miller blinked.

"That… actually makes sense."

"Of course it does," Ishi said, flipping her hair. "Unlike you, I actually use my brain."

Li-Jua smirked, grabbing her staff.

"Then let’s get moving," she said.

With that, the group descended the hill, heading straight for the city of Livepao, where their plan to cripple the empire from within was about to begin.