So You Have Chosen Death!

"What do we do, Noa!? We've been placed under siege!"

Mira crouches behind the couch, carefully watching the door as the threat looms outside. She frantically looks around the room, but she finds no other means by which we can escape from the room. There is always the window, but she hasn't learned about that concept yet.

"Calm down. My friend is just here to visit."

I try walking towards the door, but Mira wraps her arms around my waist from behind.

"You mustn't go out there! It's too dangerous!"

The added weight makes it take longer to reach the door. I'm not sure how being dragged over carpet isn't burning her feet, but she holds on all the way to the entrance way.

"He must have an army behind him! We can't possibly take them on by ourselves!"

"Like I said, we aren't in danger!"

Even if the outlandish scenario is as she says, we don't exactly have any other options. Unlike our parallels in history, we don't have any other armies we can expect to break us out of this situation. That strategy still happened to fail back then when nobody arrived to help, and the result was worse than simply surrendering. In this situation, surrender is the only option that would maybe get us out alive. That is, if we really were about to be horrifically sacked.

Mira tries her hardest to pull me back, but she can hardly do anything to halt my advance. I grab the handle of the door and pull it open.

The familiar figure of Edward is standing a little ways away from the doormat. He stands with his legs spread slightly and arms crossed with a threatening aura leaking from his body. His black leather jacket blows in the wind behind him as he casts a massive shadow over his prey. I would be scared that some thug was preparing to kick the door down if Edward wasn't carrying an overstuffed plastic bag at the same time.

"I see! So you have chosen…death?"

A pair of brown eyes transition from an excited glint to a wide flash of surprise. Mira is still wrapped around me and pressed closely to my body as our party makes eye contact with him. The plastic bag containing obvious weight slips from his hand and onto the floor as my friend looks at me with disbelief.

"Noa…you…"

"H-Hold on! I can explain, Ed!"

I don't know what I'm guilty of yet, but I try to plead innocent. Whatever misunderstanding he has, I have to fix it quickly.

"You said you needed some clothes for your cousin, so I went through the trouble of wrestling them from my little sister's collection. Yet I arrive…"

His empty eyes shift between me and the girl hugging me from behind.

"…And you're flirting with some girl alone in your apartment…"

"We aren't doing anything like that!

"No, I can already see it!"

The force of his anger strikes me like a bullet as he points directly at me.

"I'm sure this girl came to your house bright and early! She unlocked your door with the spare apartment key you gave her and sat beside your bed as you woke up!"

His wild gestures are powered by some kind of madness, one born from the delusions inside him. He grips his head as if he's in pain.

"You were given a morning kiss and proceeded to watch as she prepared you breakfast with the apron she left in your kitchen the night before!"

"H-Hold on, there's no way any of that could happen!"

Edward crouches to the ground, staring at the floor hard enough to drill holes into the concrete.

"The two of you were too attached to cook effectively, so it took the whole morning to make a simple meal! You even called your friend over just to get lost in holding each other—ARGH, Noa you lucky bastard!"

It looks like blood could easily start pouring out of my friend's eyes as he screams.

We were both hopelessly single for as long as we have known each other. That in and of itself is depressing, but we at least found solace in our shared lack of girlfriends. It must look like I've betrayed our powerful bond by hooking up with a girl.

"You're overreacting! Look, Mira isn't my girlfriend! Right, Mira!?"

I immediately realise my mistake asking the rabbit a question that she has zero context for. I look back to immediately start dousing the fires of confusion, but Mira is no longer at my side. The young girl is cowering behind the couch while carefully watching us from a distance.

"Mira?"

"Eeek!"

She tries to dive away as the spotlight shines directly at her. I'm not sure where her target spot was and I'm not sure she even thought that far ahead either. As a result, Mira throws her body down in a random direction head first, smacking her head on the bed frame with a squeak. She shakes away the stars circling over her head and eventually scuttles under the bed.

A frightened rabbit at my rear and a madman at my front. What did I do to deserve this kind of fate?

"Noa you bastard…"

I guess it's easier to deal with the madman first. I crouch down to get on Edward's level.

"I-I think there has been some kind of misunderstanding!"

"What is there to misunderstand, you traitor!?"

"Remember the favour I asked you?"

The shadows cast over his face are set aside as he recalls the phone call from yesterday evening.

"You said that your girl cousin needed some new clothes and her family wasn't comfortable spending money on replacing her old ones."

"Exactly. I figured that your little sister has plenty that she has outgrown or isn't using. Remember the size I had asked for?"

The curled up husk places his hand on his chin as he thinks.

"You said she was a young girl that was maybe tall enough to reach your…AH!"

"See? She couldn't possibly be my girlfriend. Well, I guess it's technically not impossible…but that doesn't happen normally!"

The shine of the sun finally reaches the eyes of my friend as he makes contact with mine.

"So you're still single?"

"Hey! Don't look so hopeful, you jerk!"

The two of us rise from the dirty floor of the apartment walkway. Edward brushes the dust off of his jeans and picks and breathes a sigh of relief.

"Thank goodness! I was worried there that you were having too much fun having all of these lucky and dirty experiences with a cute girl!"

"Of course no—!"

As if my own brain is on the side of making my life as troublesome as possible, memories float into the front of my mind. Mira and I have done a lot of things that I'm sure most established high school couples have only dreamt of. Day one saw us eating every meal together, taking a shower together, doing chores around the house, and even sharing a single toothbrush. This morning was even worse, with her raiding my bed midway through the night and starting our morning glued together. From an outsider's perspective, none of this can be considered normal cousin behaviour.

"—N-Not…"

I hear a crack in my friend's neck. He was facing towards the side and at the bag just a moment ago, but now his head is turned at an impossible angle to look at me.

"Noa…you…"

The bag begins to fall back towards the ground, but I don't actually see it land. I only hear a thud as the collar of my shirt is placed within an iron grip.

"YOU BASTARD!"

"I'M INNOCENT!"

The two of us tussle as he attempts to shake and strangle me to death. All of my strength is put to the apparently un-noble task of keeping myself alive.

"You get to have all this fun with your cute cousin alone in your apartment! What's next!? Are you going to tell me that you aren't even blood related!?"

"What kind of nonsense are you on about!?"

In the struggle, I'm pushed back against the wall. I can see the circles spinning in Edward's eyes as he bares the fangs of a rabid beast.

"Spit it out, Noa! How far have you gone!? How far have you left me behind!?"

"I haven't done anything! She just started living here yesterday!"

"You LIVE TOGETHER!? How many more crimes must you commit before you're satisfied!"

I can only imagine how our neighbours are feeling about the ruckus the two of us are creating at my doorstep. When I eventually make it out of this battle alive, I'll likely be bombarded with noise complaints almost immediately. Maybe Mira was right. Coming out here was far too dangerous for a normal human like me to handle.

The fight continues for at least several minutes as we both wait for the other to run out of energy and give up on killing the other.