Chapter Eighteen

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Chapter Eighteen

The sun glared down from the middle of the sky, and for the first time since the plane had crashed, Clueless really felt its warmth. Without the storm providing constant shade and cold winds, temperatures were rising quickly in the forest. Every few minutes, Clueless would catch herself with her tongue hanging out, her old instincts telling her to pant the heat away even while wearing a body that—for reasons she couldn't even begin to comprehend—no longer worked like that.

Still, she followed without complaint as Ember led them onwards. Over hills, through valleys, and across streams, the miles passed slowly and quietly underfoot. Occasionally they would cross a road, or find themselves on a stretch of land crowned with a house or barn. Ember called these "false Wilds." As much as they may have looked like their old home, it was still human territory. Because of that, Ember had reluctantly decided that they needed to stay in human form—though she had made it clear that, just like everything else, this was actually Clueless' fault.

"The sooner we get the hell out of here," she had said, glowering at Clueless, "the sooner I can have my tail back. God, I never knew I would miss it this much!"

"Why not we—" Clueless began.

"Nobody asked for your opinion! Now, if we keep heading this way, eventually we'll get to the true Wilds where humans don't live. That's where Glenn will be waiting for us, Norrin."

"Zave and Fey?" Clueless asked hopefully.

Ember clenched her fist, her jaw clenched like she was struggling not to punch the dog-walker.

"Glenn will be in the true Wilds," she growled. "And we will find him."

Before much longer, the three of them were wading through a shallow creek which—unbeknownst to them—was just a couple miles upstream of Zave's fishing spot. The water only reached up to Clueless' knees, but the current was surprisingly strong. That, combined with the mossy stones below, made for tricky footing.

Halfway across, Clueless made the mistake of looking down into the water. A jolt of fright shot through her at the sight of an unfamiliar face looking back at her, as it always did when she saw her reflection after being Awakened. No fur, no snout, she was purely human. She could still remember how, when Fey had first Awakened her, she had actually thought she'd been turned into a copy of Zave. She knew better now, or at least she thought she did. She understood that Zave was only a single person in an entire race of people, each of whom was unique and the same, both at the same time.

And now she was one of those people. Kind of. She knew that most people couldn't change their shape like she could, even if she didn't understand why, or why she had to keep it a secret. But looking at her now, nobody would know the difference, even though Fey said Clueless still had a long way to go before she could blend into human society the way she could.

And is that what you want? her newly acquired conscience asked. To blend in? You never worried about blending in when you were a dog. You just did whatever you wanted when you wanted to do it. No clothes, no silverware, you just ate what you wanted, smelled what you wanted, peed where you wanted…

Clueless frowned at her reflection. She would have been lying to herself if she said there wasn't a part of herself that missed that life. A big part. If someone had offered to let her rewind time and go back to being Zave's dog, without the curse of sentience confusing her thoughts and feelings, would she have taken it? Yes. No. She didn't know, and that in and of itself bothered her. She recognized the beauty of the world around her with a sharpness she’d never had as a dog. Every moment was like a memory she never wanted to forget. But it also gave her emotions she had no idea how to deal with. Anger. Sadness. Betrayal. Her positive emotions were so much stronger. For those first few days, her love for Zave had been so overwhelming that she had thought her heart would explode every time she looked at him. Those feelings were still there, but they were…weighed down. Tainted by the other feelings.

It's a price, she realized, another word she had never used before snapping into place in her mind. I get good things…by paying for them….with bad things!

"Hey!" Ember yelled at her from across the stream. "Do you want to get left behind? Move it!"

Yanked from her thoughts, Clueless looked up at the fox-walker in surprise. She had been thinking so hard that she'd actually managed to forget where she was! Did that mean she was getting smarter? Maybe she could…

She glanced down again just in time to see a snapping turtle making a beeline for her foot.

Clueless let out a scream louder than even the wendigos had been able to drag from her, and she toppled over backwards into the water with a splash. The turtle bolted.

The stream was shallow, but it was more than deep enough for Clueless to completely submerge herself. Cold water enveloped her, and her arms and legs lashed out around her in a panic. They quickly found the rocky ground beneath her and she instinctively thrust upwards, her head breaking the surface with a gasp.

"Norrin, don't!" Ember yelled, followed by a series of loud splashes. A shadow darkened the water, and she looked up to see the bear-walker looking over her. He reached down with one hand and plucked her out of the water.

"You okay?" he asked.

Dangling from his grip like a wet kitten, Clueless coughed but managed to nod. Without another word, Norrin turned to carry her back to shore with him—

His foot found a mossy patch of rock, and down he went, dunking Clueless in the stream a second time.

"Damn it, Norrin!" Ember was yelling when Clueless resurfaced. She blinked the water out of her eyes—and then was shoved aside as the fox-walker stormed over to her boyfriend. "I told you to stop!"

He rolled over and sat up, water streaming all over him like tiny waterfalls.

"Clueless was—"

"To hell with Clueless!" Ember snapped. Taking one of his massive arms in both of hers, she started trying to haul him back to his feet. "What did I tell you? I am in charge until we meet back up with Glenn! Clueless isn't even in our pack! So if I tell you to leave her behind, you leave her be—"

She heaved, and her feet slid out from under her, plunging her into the cold water as well.

"DAMN IT!" she screamed when she came back up.

For a minute, all three of them just sat there in the middle of the stream. And then Clueless began to laugh. It started off as a giggle, but it grew until she was doubled over guffawing with all her might. The entire situation, all three of them falling face first in the river, was just too much. All the tension of the past few days needed a way out of her body, and laughter proved to be the perfect gateway. So she sat there and laughed until another, smaller shadow fell over her, and she looked up—

Ember slapped her.

NEXT CHAPTER: 3/12/2025