Heartbroken

May 7, 2015

The second chapter of Break The Ice had dropped today, and Shizuka was looking it over in that month’s issue of Monthly Girl Step. As she read the panels she had spent so long crafting together, she sipped on a cup of coffee and nodded along, happy with her work. She then set the magazine down and put the coffee cup in a holder before picking up a pencil and beginning to draw more panels for another chapter of the series, this time working on a storyboard. As she finished drawing a panel, she said to herself, “I wonder if any mail has come in for me from readers. I haven’t even checked my emails today yet…” She moved around her mouse on her desktop to start it up before logging into her professional email and looking it over. “Hmm, let’s see…”

She saw that an email had been sent from her editor with the simple title of ‘Reader Mail’. Curious, she clicked on it to read its contents.

Hiratai Shizuka

We received two letters from readers about Break The Ice. Both are short, but I think you will enjoy them.

Sincerely,

Obuchi Daichi

—————

From Anonymous

Hello Hiratai-sensei! I really like Break The Ice! I hope your story gets to continue and reach its full potential. When I read the first chapter, I couldn’t stop until I reached the sixty-second and final page. The fact it’s a monthly manga makes me impatient, but I know you’ll come back with a great second chapter!

—————

From Shingetsu-san

Break The Ice is a good manga from what little there is right now. Ichigo is a really cute girl, and so is her friend Miyako! While I’m a guy, I think Kazuya is a pretty cool guy from what I saw of him. He seems really mysterious, and I can’t wait to see what his backstory is.

Shizuka smiled, enjoying the fan mail she had gotten from Chapter 1. She quickly began typing back a reply to her editor.

Obuchi-san

I really appreciate both of their emails. Tell them their words are very encouraging, and I will not let them down with the rest of Break The Ice.

Sincerely,

Hiratai Shizuka

To close out the email, she attached an image she had made that represented her avatar of sorts, consisting of a chibified version of herself doing a v-sign. She then returned to her storyboard after sending the reply email to Daichi, also writing out on the side what was going to happen for this particular part of the chapter’s plot.

…

Later on in the day, Shizuka began videoconferencing with Daichi, showing off the storyboards and discussing what was to happen in the chapter she was writing. “So now I’m on Chapter 5. I think I’m gonna slow it down with the new chapters and instead focus on tweaking Chapters 3 and 4. I don’t wanna be too ahead just in case I have to change something last-minute.”

“That’s fine,” Daichi replied. “By the way, on another topic, is your old PictoView account still active?”

“PictoView?” Shizuka and Daichi were referring to a popular Japanese art website that she had used for many years prior to going professional. “Yeah. I still have it. It’s not shut down.”

“I noticed you put up some new art there, including some boy’s love art… Some R-18 boy’s love art.”

“Oh,” Shizuka replied, fearing she was in trouble. “Uh… Yeah… I got a commission for it, and the person requesting it was willing to pay me a lot of money, so I drew two pages of it. Is… Is there a problem?”

“No,” Daichi shook his head. “As long as your actual name isn’t attached to it, there isn’t an issue. Honestly, when I looked over your art for your male characters, I wasn’t surprised you did boy’s love art. What I was surprised by, though, is the fact you do girl’s love and heterosexual R-18 art too.”

Chucking in relief, Shizuka explained, “Yep, I can do all three. It baffles other people, too. A lot of people just stick to one or maybe two, or keep one set on a separate account or with a separate pen name. I just do it all with my old pen name.”

“Now, you haven’t done anything… Too extreme, right?”

“Not at all,” she assured him. “Nothing I draw is something I wouldn’t want out there. I don’t do extreme fetishes or characters that aren’t at least like teenagers. You won’t find any crazy shit on my profile.”

“That’s good to hear. The last thing I want would be a call from an executive that you’re drawing some really fucked up shit and they traced it back to you.”

“Same here.”

“The only other rule is that you can’t post any art of Break The Ice or any other manga series you may create on that account,” Daichi explained. “R-18, all ages, or otherwise.”

“I figured that was the case anyway.”

“Oh yeah, this reminds me for some reason.” Daichi then switched off from his webcam to a screenshot of an email Shimizu had gotten. “I got word from Graduate Comics over in America that they want to start running all Shimizu manga and light novel series over there, including Break The Ice.”

Floored by his words, Shizuka gasped, “Wait, what?!”

“Yep. While a few of our manga have gone over there before, this would be our first company-wide deal anywhere overseas. The only thing is that we’d need your permission for Graduate Comics to distribute Break The Ice.”

“Absolutely,” Shizuka almost immediately answered.

“I know you’re excited about it,” Daichi then further explained. “But we need it in writing. You should receive some paperwork in the next few days. I want you to read it extensively and send it back as soon as you make your decision. Make sure you read all of it before you sign anything.”

“Of course. I’ll read and sign it as soon as I get it.”

“Excellent. Well, that’s all I got for you today. Have a good day, Hiratai-san.”

“You too.” Shizuka then hung up on Daichi and sat back in her chair, imagining her manga going to the United States. “Wow… America… I never thought my manga could wind up there, especially so early. I must be the luckiest woman in the world right now.” She then took a deep breath and dove back into her work, drawing out more of her storyboard for Chapter 5 and more determined than ever.

…

May 9, 2015

“How’s your editor taking the news of your war crimes plot?”

“I’m honestly surprised,” Taiki told her as the two of them and Takeo sat down for coffee. “When I told him, the only objection he raised was that I shouldn’t make it so gory, which I was fine with. Other than that, he doesn’t have any issue with it being there. I told him I was concerned about people objecting to it due to historical revisionism, but he said he would advocate for it as much as he could, which was a reason why he didn’t want it to be too explicitly gruesome.”

“That’s fair,” Takeo nodded. “Uncontrollable Battle seems like the limit of what they’d do for content.”

“That’s exactly what he said, actually. Uncontrollable Battle is pretty much the limit of what’s allowed in terms of violence, and Uncontrollable Battle is pretty high up there in terms of violence.” Taiki then turned to Shizuka and asked her, “So, how’s your editor treating you?”

“Very well,” she nodded. “The art swap from last month went off without a hitch once he agreed to it. The only thing is, uh… He found my PictoView account and saw I posted some new commissions, including a Boys’ Love one.”

“Oh shit,” Takeo replied. “Did you get in trouble for it?”

“No,” she shook her head. “As long as I don’t post any Break The Ice art on the account, whether it’s regular art or erotic arc, I’m fine, at least according to him.”

“I didn’t realize you drew Boys’ Love art,” Taiki said with surprise. “I assume you draw erotic art, too?”

“Yes. I draw heterosexual, Girls’ Love, and Boys’ Love. Takeo has seen it before.”

“She draws it pretty well,” her boyfriend boasted. “She really knows how to make art hot.”

“I’m surprised you do it all in one pen name,” Taiki noted, bringing up the same point Daichi had. “Most people don’t do all three, and those that do often keep it separate.”

“My editor said the same thing,” Shizuka chuckled before she gave a shrug. “I just do it all under one pen name. It’s easier. If people don’t want to see two guys fucking each other, they can filter it out on PictoView. If they don’t want to see straight art, they can filter that out too. Same with the lesbian sex stuff. I tag all my shit properly for that reason. I’m anal about tagging.”

“I posted stuff on PictoView too. I know all about their tagging system. Like you, I pretty much lived off of commissions and taking various odd jobs here and there before I got picked up by Shimizu.”

Takeo, not having any drawing experience, remarked, “Wow… And to think, I pretty much told nobody about what I did until I won. I never even posted any of my work online. I was a nobody. You guys at least had somewhat of a following online.”

“Eh,” Taiki shrugged. “I had about three hundred followers before I won.”

“I had about a thousand,” Shizuka added. “So a bit more than you, but not massive numbers. PictoView has millions of visitors and users, after all, and not just from Japan. A lot of foreigners come to the site to view art… Or, for some, steal it.”

Curious, Takeo asked her, “Steal it?”

“A big problem for years was people from the West reposting art from PictoView without giving any credit to the original artist,” Taiki explained to him. “Which pisses a lot of people off. Some people go as far as to say they don’t want any of their art shared beyond PictoView at all. Some even region-lock their art so you have to be from Japan to see it because they fear their art might be illegal in other countries or they don’t want foreigners stealing it that badly.”

“I never did anything extreme like that,” Shizuka assured both of them. “But I made sure to put in Japanese and English that my art needed to be credited to me when it got reposted on other sites.”

Curious, Takeo asked her, “Do you speak English?”

“Not really. I just knew enough to put that warning out there.”

…

May 12, 2015

“Take a look,” Takeo said to Shizuka as he handed her a copy of the first complete volume of his light novel. “As of today, the first volume is on sale. They gave me two advance copies for the two of us yesterday.”

“Aww, thanks, babe,” Shizuka replied before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “So, how did readers like it when it was serialized?”

“I got some decent reviews for it,” Takeo said. “So far, it looks like people enjoy it. As long as it translates into sales for the books themselves, I’ll be all set.”

“That’s the name of the game. What makes or breaks manga and light novel series is sales per volume. Too low, and you’ll get canceled.”

“Hopefully, it won’t happen to me.” Takeo then pulled out his laptop from his bag and told his girlfriend, “Speaking of volumes, I’m gonna get to work writing more of Volume 2.”

“Have fun.” Shizuka then turned back to her work desk while Takeo went into the kitchen to begin typing away. She grabbed her pencil and pulled out storyboards for Chapter 5 of Break The Ice, having left off halfway through the second to last page she had planned. As she began to draw once more, she thought to herself, “I hope he’s able to sell well. His story’s really good, but I fear it could get lost in the sea of other romcoms out there. It’s a pretty common genre, especially these days.”

Then, Takeo was heard in the kitchen saying to himself, “Ugh, I can’t do that? Come on…”

Concerned, Shizuka stopped what she was doing and asked him, “Takeo, what’s wrong?”

“My editor nixed most of the plot for the hot springs chapters,” he explained from the kitchen. “He says it’s too complicated and a bit too sexual for a romcom! Seriously?! I’m the one who knows best about my story! Besides, I didn’t think it was too sexual! I’ve seen worse!”

“Just calm down,” she assured him. “Your editor’s just looking out for you.”

“I know he’s concerned and shit, but still! That whole plot he just said no to is a major part of what Volume 2 is supposed to be! I’m gonna have to rewrite so much of it now!” Takeo was clearly frustrated and upset that his editor had requested such a drastic change for Volume 2 of his story. “Ugh, why does this shit have to happen now?”

Shizuka sighed. “I know, it sucks, but you can do this, Takeo. I believe in you.”

“I know you do. I’m just pissed, that’s all. It’s not you, Shizuka.”

“I know it’s not me.” Shizuka got back to work on her storyboards as she wondered how Takeo’s novel would come along now that his editor had interfered with the plot so much.

“Ugh, you gotta be fucking kidding me,” Takeo muttered to himself as he began to type out a rewrite of Volume 2 that he was essentially forced to do. “I can’t believe this shit.”

…

May 23, 2015

Shizuka and Takeo were out on the town tonight at a bar they often frequented together. However, tonight, Takeo was drinking more than Shizuka, which both annoyed and concerned her. As she sipped away at a beer, Takeo had already drank six compared to Shizuka’s two. As he finished his sixth, she commented to him, “Babe, I think you should slow down.”

“Slow down? Wh- Why?” Takeo clearly had no intent to slow down.

“You’re drinking even faster than me,” she pointed out. “And that’s pretty rare. Remember what tends to happen when you do that?”

“I won’t get sick this time.”

“That’s what you said the last three or so times.”

“Oh, shut up.” Takeo then sighed and told his girlfriend, “Come on, let me have this. I had a fucking shitty week.”

“I have shitty weeks too,” Shizuka replied, getting more and more frustrated. “And yet this is extreme for you. This is like the second night in a row you’ve done this. You got so drunk yesterday you passed out at my apartment before we even had sex, like, what the fuck?!”

“I was just tired. Give me a fucking break, Shizuka.”

Set off by this comment, Shizuka got up and took a deep breath, putting her proverbial foot down. “Takeo, stop drinking tonight or else you’re not coming back to my place tonight. Your choice!”

A flabbergasted Takeo replied, “What the fuck?”

“You heard me. Stop drinking or else.”

Takeo angrily replied, “I’m my own man! I don’t live with you anyway! We’ve been together for almost six months and yet I don’t even fucking live with you! I can go home alone if I want!”

“Fine! Go ahead!”

The bartender noticed the two beginning to argue and said to them in an unusually angry tone of voice, “You two are both getting cut off. I’d advise you guys to start your argument outside of the bar before I throw your asses out. Get the fuck out of this bar before I make you. Do it!”

“Oh, come on,” Takeo replied to him, put off by the bartender’s attitude towards them. “It’s not a fight. We’re just talking.”

“I think you’re overreacting a bit,” Shizuka tried to say to the bartender. “We’re jus-“

The bartender then got in Shizuka’s face and screamed at her before pushing her away, “Get the fuck out and take your drunk-ass boyfriend out of here, you fucking bitch!”

“Don’t shove me!”

“I can fucking shove you all I want, you fucking cunt! Get the fuck out before I do something worse!”

“Stop overreacting! This isn’t like you!” Shizuka was deeply confused as to why the bartender was being so confrontational with them despite having been to the bar multiple times while he was working with no problem. “What’s your problem tonight? This me between me and my boyfriend, and we’ll lea-“

The bartender interrupted her with a hard slap across the face, stunning everyone else in the bar, even the drunk Takeo. “Don’t talk back to me, you fucking cunt!” For a few seconds, everyone remained still, not sure how to react to what the bartender did to her.

After what was only seconds but felt like hours, Shizuka finally snapped out of her daze. “Come on,” she angrily said as she first threw money down to pay for their drinks and then grabbed Takeo by the hand, dragging him out of the bar. “We’re leaving this psycho behind now!”

The bartender screamed at the top of his lungs, “That’s it! You’re both banned for talking back to me! Get the fuck out!”

Shizuka yelled back, “Whatever!” The bartender replied by throwing a glass at both of them, which shattered on the wall as the two of them slammed the door shut, just barely missing Takeo’s head as it did so.

As they exited from the now-hostile bar, Takeo ripped his arm out of her grip and yelled, “What the fuck?!”

Shizuka yelled at him in anger, “You got us fucking kicked out!”

“The- The bartender was being an asshole! He fucking shoved you! He slapped the shit out of you! He threw a glass at us!”

“Only because you were drunk off your fucking mind! It’s your fault you got us banned from that bar!”

“God damn it,” Takeo yelled as he kicked the ground in frustration. “Why are you blaming me?! He got physical first! He threw a fucking glass at us! Who cares if we got banned?! If the bartender’s a fucking psycho, I don’t wanna go there in the first place anymore!”

“You know what,” Shizuka then said, taking a deep breath. “I’m going home. I can’t do this right now, and I know you can’t, either.”

As Shizuka turned to walk away, Takeo yelled at her, “Shizuka! Shizuka! Come back!” Realizing his pleas were falling on deaf ears, he began to cry as he turned around and walked back to his own apartment. “Fuck… God… Why?”

…

May 24, 2015

“So you want to hire an assistant now?”

“Not right now,” Shizuka said in reply to Daichi. “But by the end of September, I want one. In the meantime, I was thinking you could go scouting for one while I continue to work on Chapter 5.”

“Alright. I can see who’s out there.” Daichi then looked down at his notes and asked her, “Did you send in the storyboards yet?”

“They should have been sent early this morning.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll check them out after lunch.”

Shizuka then heard a knock at the door and said to Daichi as she put the video conference in pause, “My apologies. Hang on.” She walked up to her door and saw through the peephole that it was a man she recognized as a room mate of Takeo. She opened it and greeted him with, “Hello?”

“Are you Hiratai-san?”

“Yeah. Aren’t you one of Takeo’s room mates?”

“I am,” the young man replied. “We found him last night after he got really drunk. He’s a mess. He just woke up, but we’re concerned given what he was telling us.”

“What did he say?”

“He thinks you’re leaving him,” the man explained. “And he thinks you never want to see him again.”

Annoyed, Shizuka said to the young man, “No, it’s not that. He needs to stop drinking so much. I know this week’s been rough for him, but I don’t like it when he gets like this when I’m not in the mood to. Look, don’t get me wrong. I’ve gotten absolutely shitfaced before, but it’s not fun when you’re the only one doing it. I really don’t want him doing it around me unless I’m doing it, too.”

“I see.”

“He didn’t even come here to see me? He sent one of you to talk to me?”

“He has a massive hangover,” the young man explained. “And he still feels like shit for what happened last night.”

“Tell him to come over and see me as soon as he can.”

“Will do,” the young man said before he shut the door and left. “Goodbye, Hiratai-san.”

Shizuka locked the door back up and sighed, asking of herself, “Did I mess up? Maybe… Maybe I wasn’t in the right, either…”

…

Later in the day, Takeo knocked on the door to Shizuka’s apartment, trembling as he expected the two of them to argue as soon as he walked in. Shizuka got up from her work station and opened it, saying to him, “So, you finally showed up.”

“Look, Shizuka, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted that way last night. I was just in a really bad mood from what’s going on with my series.”

Shizuka sighed and told him, “Come in.” As she shut the door behind him once he entered, she told him, “Sit wherever. I don’t care.”

“I got drunk, okay? We all do. You do, too.”

Shizuka yelled back at him, “But I wasn’t planning on being so fucking drunk I was gone like you were! If I wanted you to be, I would have joined you!”

“I just needed a way to relax and not focus on the bad news I got this week, Shizuka!”

“Too bad! I get bad news, too!”

Finally having had enough, Takeo screamed at her, “Your editor isn’t constantly fighting you! Your editor actually gets along with you! Your editor isn’t a fucking dipshit who seems to want to write the story themselves instead of letting me tell the story! Your editor isn’t trying to shoot down every idea I got that isn’t mainstream!”

Both of them paused, with Shizuka taking in everything Takeo had admitted while Takeo was wondering what Shizuka’s next words would be. As they thought of what to say next, they heard the sound of Shizuka’s video conference app ring on her computer, causing her to walk over and see who it was. Upon seeing it was an executive from Shimizu, she said to Takeo, “Hang on. It’s Shimizu.”

“Wait, really?”

Shizuka then answered the call, saying to the executive, “Good evening.”

“Hello, Hiratai-san.” The executive, the same woman who had spoken at the dinner for those who had won the contest after Winter Comiket 2014, took a deep breath and said to her, “I wanted to break this news to you as well.”

“What news?”

“We’re not getting good results from your boyfriend’s light novel series,” she explained. “His numbers dropped off hard after the first week, despite it getting good reviews.”

“You can talk to him right here,” she then said as Takeo walked over, having heard the conversation. “Here.”

“Oh,” replied the female executive. “Hello, Furihata-san.”

“He- Hey…”

“We’ve talked it over, and we think that we may need to cut your series short unless your second volume does better numbers, which… Sadly, I’m not expecting it. I would like to be proven wrong, though. I’m sorry for this news, but the sales for Volume 1 were not what we were expecting, especially after the first week.”

Takeo was horrified. “You… You’re telling me you’ll… Cancel it?”

“I’m afraid so,” she replied. “It’s unfortunate, but it’s business. I only told Hiratai-san as well because I know you two are close. When is the first chapter of Volume 2 running?”

“This coming week,” he replied, now visibly shaking. “It… It will run for six weeks for a total of six chapters. Volume 2 will be out on July 14th.”

“Let’s hope it does good numbers.”

“Would… Would that mean Volume 2 will be the last?”

“No,” she shook her head. “We would be gracious enough to let you do a third volume, but that’s it.”

Dejected by the news, Takeo told her, “Okay… I’ll keep working.”

“Thank you. Have a good night.” The female executive then hung up, leaving both Shizuka and Takeo stunned.

Shizuka said to him in a state of shock, “You…”

“This is what I’ve been dealing with,” Takeo admitted. “And this… This is what I’ve been dreading. I want to make Volume 2 the best it can be, but I fear the changes my editor wants to make will sink it.”

“I… I’m so sorry…” Shizuka felt terrible. She had no idea about what Takeo had been going through, although admittedly, he had told her nothing. “Why didn’t you tell me?!”

“I wanted to deal with this problem on my own. I wanted to be a man about it, but I guess I wasn’t strong enough…” He sighed and wiped away tears from his eyes. “Maybe my mom was right… Maybe I can’t make it-“

“Your mother is wrong,” Shizuka interrupted him with. “She couldn’t see the talent you have, Takeo!” She held him by his shoulders and told him, “Listen to me! Even if your current series gets canceled, you can still do this! They will give you another chance! The fact you’ve made it this far means you can’t go back now!”

“I just… I don’t know…” Takeo got up from the bed and told Shizuka, “Maybe… Maybe we shouldn’t be doing this anymore. Maybe I’ve been spending too much time here when I should be working on my writing…”

Shizuka was stunned. “Are… Are you breaking up with me?!”

“I don’t think I can dedicate the time I need to if we keep doing this with each other.” Takeo was clearly in deep pain from telling Shizuka those words. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want this, but I think it’s for the best.”

“Takeo, no! Please, do-“ Takeo then ran out of the apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. With that, their relationship was officially over. “No…” Shizuka slumped to the floor, realizing that it was all crashing down. After staying silent for a few seconds, she screamed at the top of her lungs, enraged at everything around her as she repeatedly punched the bed in frustration. “Why?! Why, why, why, why, why?!” She then curled into a ball and began to sob, blaming herself for what had happened. “I lost him,” she thought to herself. “This is all my fault… “

Then, she looked up at her computer monitor and realized she was still on the call with her editor, who had sent her several concerned chat messages despite not seeing or hearing anything. She sighed and wiped away her tears while still crying before unmuting Daichi, who immediately responded upon seeing Shizuka, “Hey, uh, are you okay? You look awful.”

“I can’t do this right now,” she said as she wiped her face. “I’ll… I’ll have to resume tomorrow, Daichi. I’m sorry.”

“What happened?”

“Me and Takeo broke up,” she admitted. “I… I’m sorry.”

Realizing the severity of the situation, Daichi sighed and assured her, “It’s fine. We’ll resume tomorrow. I’m sorry for what you’re going through. Please, take care of yourself, Hiratai-san.” Daichi then hung up, leaving Shizuka by herself as she fell down onto her bed and silently cried herself to sleep, feeling as though there was nothing she could do at this point to salvage her relationship with Takeo.