Nobody is Perfect

Moonlight Guardian

I hadn't seen Indigo in days, not since... then, and I was under no illusions why. I can't forget that look in his eyes as he sat there in shock. It was the second time I had seen Indigo without his mask, a mask that now lay scattered about in a hundred pieces. Fear radiated off him, but the expression on his face hit harder, the look of sheer terror. It was my fault.

It wasn't until that sword broke, that sword that Indigo had so strangely and proudly named "wraith blade," that my senses slowly began to return to me. If only I had acted sooner, perhaps I could have repaired the situation. But instead, I held the final stance as I let the sensation wash over me.

I resumed my full patrol the next day, the patrol I had adopted before Indigo as if it were only natural. He wouldn't be coming to continue his duties, that much was obvious. And I wouldn't go looking for him either, that much was obvious as well and we both knew it. It was like an unspoken agreement. That final exchange between us had been enough.

My mind had been in a fog ever since that lethal swing had mercifully only grazed Indigo; the forest basin under me only seemed like a backdrop for my reflections as I carried about my duties. A part of me was worried that I would slip up and miss something, but the guilt weighed heavy. There wasn't much I could do. When was the last time I had been so unfocused?

It must have been back then. When I lost my brother and sister to a creature that would haunt my nightmares for years to come, a blur of fangs and claws. I had never seen its like till then nor have I seen it since. It came out of nowhere and before any of us were even aware, it had torn my sister to pieces. I think she was dead before she had even realized the danger.

My older brother tried to protect me, throwing his arms wide to create a barrier between the creature and me, as it sprang forward to attack. It tore through him like rotting tree bark. I like to think that his sacrifice wasn't in vain. That I would have ended up like my sister... or him, instead of only receiving a scratch.

None of this would have mattered of course, if not for the intervention of the two village Guardians. Their actions were swift, one attacking the monster as it lunged to finish the job, and the other carrying me off to safety before returning to aid his partner. Between the two of them, they made swift work of the beast.

There were only two village Guardians and they were both old; Guardian wasn't a role people aspired to become anymore; the forest had become much safer. Many would see it as a pointless role, but I knew better now. Theirs was a role that you could only appreciate once you had needed it. I only lamented that they had not gotten there sooner.

I did not hold that against them, it had been my fault after all, and by all accounts, I should be dead as well. Back then, sometimes that had been my wish. I was in the same mental fog back then that I now found myself in. I spent several weeks drifting aimlessly about the village and that might have continued if not for meeting my Master.

Technically, I had met him before, when he had carried me off to safety. I found him loafing about one day, as I had seen him doing before. But it occurred to me then that he wasn't loafing, he was watching. And it was that watchful gaze that had saved me. I had been spared though I was the one at fault.

As I passed by he asked how I was doing and said he was sorry for my siblings. He was sorry? I was the one who got them killed. They were my sins to bear. But then an epiphany came to me.

"Can you make me a Guardian?" I blurted out. His head snapped to face me and canted his head as he looked at me intently. I think he must have been looking deep into my soul. I had expected some questions or verification of my sincerity, but after a long while he nodded and accepted me, no questions asked.

Over the next few cycles, I worked harder than I thought possible. I spent every moment learning the craft, absorbing what the Guardians had to teach me. If ever I felt like it was too much, I remembered my siblings. I had decided the moment I crossed paths with the man who had saved me that I wouldn't let anyone suffer the same fate.

I became a Guardian and since then, no hostile actors have harmed any of my tribe. Every day, I checked on everyone and scouted the entire village roaming area. My diligence earned me a reputation as someone who never relaxed. Even my Master and his partner had told me I was working too hard before they passed. "It's not a good thing to take life so seriously. It will pass you by." I had no regrets though, nobody had been killed under my watch and that was worth the price.

How ironic then, that I had almost been the one to kill someone, and my own apprentice no less. I felt the same crushing weight as I had back then. Like that creature's phantom had grabbed ahold of my heart and was squeezing it in its claws.

"Good day Moonlight Guardian." I was released from my reverie and brought back to the present.

"Oh... Greetings Snowcap Elder." I bowed my head. At some point, I had returned to the village.

"I just wanted to say, you have been doing a superb job protecting the village over the cycles." He folded his hands behind his back as he looked off into the scenery. "Though they might not express it, the village is grateful."

What a strange time to bring this up. Well, I was in low spirits, it was no surprise he would notice; he is sharp. "I don't know about that..." I crossed my arms and looked down at the floorboards—they looked worn and weathered.

"Oh, come now. True, it has been a long while since wandering outside the village was dangerous, not since before my mentor's time. But even still, not a single person had been a casualty of a beast and/or monster since you took up the role, that has never happened before." My fist closed tight and my nails dug deep into my palms. "You even manage to protect a few people from their own stupidity! Midsummer Maskcrafter alone would be dead a half dozen times over if not for your diligence." I clenched my teeth. Please stop, I thought, the last thing I wanted right now was for somebody to sing my praises. I tried to look away...

He let it rest a moment as he watched a cloud pass before the sun. Then he turned to face me with that jovial mask of his, and I felt it probably matched the actual expression underneath. "What troubles you, Moonlight Guardian?"

"Nothing..." I wanted to turn away from him more, but I didn't want to disrespect him by turning my back to him. He continued to stare at me, waiting.

Snowcap Elder must know, he is the Elder after all. And Indigo is lodging with him, there is no way he couldn't be aware. I heaved a deep sigh, "I hurt Indigo."

"Go on." I looked at him. "Surely there must be more to it than that? Compared to that thrashing you gave him the other day, that small cut on his head is merely a love tap."

Again, my gaze drifted down. "Indigo has learned a new skill, a sword he can somehow make with magic—I have no idea how he performed such a feat." The Elder nodded. "I proposed that we test it, to see how well it could hold up... I got carried away."

"Carried away?" He questioned. No, that wasn't it...

"I was testing myself, to prove that I was stronger than Indigo's technique." Was this really what I was thinking? "In my single-mindedness... I nearly took Indigo's head off." It pained me to admit. "That look on his face after it happened... I can't blame him for thinking I'm a monster."

The Elder pulled his head back but then stroked that beard on his mask—a strange habit of his. "It is true, Indigo is quite upset. He has been keeping to himself, isn't talking much, and hasn't uttered a word about what happened that night." I felt something twisting at my heart. "Hasn't sought out a replacement mask either, though I do understand these things take time, but he doesn't seem eager for a replacement." He paused and looked me square in the face. "But... I don't think Indigo thinks you're a monster."

I had to raise an eyebrow at that. "Really? He has been avoiding me. Not that I can blame him..."

"Heh," he gave a derisive chuckle. "He is a genius, but he is still a boy. He is just scared."

"Of course he is scared!" I felt blood rushing to my face and ears. "It was only dumb luck that he is still alive!"

"Yes, but I don't think that is it." Snowcap Elder remained as calm as ever. It was hard for anger to take root when confronted with such serenity.

"What do you mean?" My arms dropped to the side.

"How did you become so angry at yourself?"

"Because I almost killed someone when I swore that I would protect everyone." I wasn't angry anymore, instead I felt something forming in my eyes. How long had it been?

"And why would you almost kill someone? Was that your intention?"

"No! My intention was..." What was my intention? My gaze shifted. Why had I acted that way?

Realization dawned on me, the answer wasn't hard to find once I had asked the question. And the guilt I felt wasn't the same as the guilt from my siblings. My head rose at this epiphany. "Do you see now?" The Elder's gaze awaited me.

"...Yes."

He stretched out. "I'm not one for telling others what to do in such matters, but if you would listen to an old man's advice..." I gave him my full attention. "I know you think your actions are irreparable... But, if you were apologize, I think Indigo would reciprocate your feelings."

I remained silent as the elder's advice sunk into my mind. "It's a fine day. Best to make the most of it," he said as he carried on his way.

Indigo

It had been a week (10 days) since the incident, and I wasn't feeling as awkward as I had since I stopped my apprenticeship Guardian duties. Though I remained upset, I could now capitalize on the newly freed-up time. And since I now had a large block of free time, I decided to do a deep dive into geography and foreign culture. This is obviously a vast topic, so I figured it would occupy my time nicely; the Elder had no shortage of maps and books on these subjects.

I found the maps valuable as I studied each region. He had maps of individual areas, but I found the world map most helpful, it let me see how everything fit together. For starters, it let me get a broad overview of the territories, and of course, you could tell which areas were most influential by how much was written about them in the various tomes.

Alocast was by far the most prominent culture in the Western hemisphere and certainly the most influential in the human world. This is also where the language Caster originated. In terms of prevalence, It was probably the equivalent to English in modern times, or French before that. That is to say, anybody who was anyone could speak it, so it was by far the best choice to learn, though if you found yourself in a rustic village you might be out of luck. But most nobles and travelers could speak Caster so it should get you by.

As far as governance, it had become an aristocracy with a parliament and a king elected to a lifetime appointment. Though it seemed he could be deposed if he pissed off enough people. Previously, it had been a traditional monarchy until the king pissed off a bunch of people and he was removed... Well, a part of him anyway. Of the realms of man, this place looked like to be the most democratic, it was no wonder they were doing so well.

Another political titan of the human world was the Magocracy of Londan. Alocast had more clout, but Londan was considered a nation you didn't want to cross. Apparently, they were not above using violence and underhanded tactics to solve problems if it was the most efficient method. Generally speaking though, they were considered a more secretive society. That's not to say they were behind the Iron Curtain, but they kept their political affairs and scientific advancement close to the chest.

If the name didn't give it away, this nation is said to possess some of the most advanced applications of magic. Obviously, I had a great interest in this subject, but I couldn't find many details about this human magic, other than it was different from fox magic, and used something called "sigillary." Despite scouring the Elder’s library, I found no additional information on this subject. Next time the merchant came around, I would have to press him to acquire a tome on the subject.

Another region of interest was the Vardent Valley. Now to most of the world, this was nothing more than an area on a map. But to the Yutsuukitsuu of the Two Tree, this was home. It was called the Vardent Valley because it sat between two Mountain ranges. Combined with the ocean to the south and the Raincaster region to the north this area was near boxed in and isolated. There was one fairly noteworthy kingdom located in the valley, however, the kingdom of Atol. It was perhaps 100 miles north of the Two Trees and probably where the merchant came from, or at least he passed through there. It was a traditional kingdom but because it was so isolated, it didn't have much political influence.

Of course, there are other regions as well: New Praven, a collection of kingdoms united under one loose kind of emperor, they were more or less autonomous though, but shared a common heritage; the Raincaster region, it's a rainforest. The texts I read said this was where the Grelmhiem lived, an orc-like creature from the sound of it, so it was an inhospitable region, to say the least; the Great Shift, a massive frozen desert. It is only particularly noteworthy because it made attacking the Magocracy of Londan a difficult endeavor as it, along with the ocean to the North and west, and the sea to the south, closed off all attack fronts aside from one corridor; the Sparto Desert, there were actually a fair number of small independent kingdoms here. Apparently, they did well by trading; the Gelcic Republic, which was a landmass to the Northeast of the Western continent. All I could find on this was it was the home of the Hozenlo; Lastly, there was the Mystic continent. If the maps had been made by Europeans, the map would say, "Here be dragons." Other than it existing, I couldn't find anything about this continent.

There was a lot to take in and this barely scratched the surface. However, I might want to travel one day; I love the tribe but... they are kind of... provincial, and that is coming from me!

Searching for material on these subjects could be time-consuming, so I whiled away the time by humming some old familiar tunes. It was the first time I had done so, and I wondered why the impulse had not occurred before. Perhaps I was self-conscious, but I justified the potential embarrassment by telling myself it would help strengthen my voice. It also had a kind of therapeutic value, and perhaps because of this, it wasn't long till I was full-on singing power ballads and songs from a bygone era.

Domestically, music wasn't much of a thing for the Yutsuukitsuu. Sure, I had seen the stray instrument or two: a pan flute here, a drum there, even a crude single-stringed instrument, no singing obviously. I remember Mesa caught me singing once and he looked at me sideways. "Where did you learn that?"

A flush came over my cheeks. "Umm... Just kind of figured it out?" Mesa rubbed his chin looking unconvinced, but what was he expecting? That I was actually reincarnated from another world? Needless to say, after that I hummed my tunes while looking over my shoulder.

I ensured I was present when my sister Dusk was accepted into the Kite's Klub (TM Pending). I remembered when I was first admitted and Lilac Governess had answered the door exasperated with her new charge. That wasn't the case this time. Not because Dusk was at the standard age of entry, but because it looked like Lilac Governess had gotten ahold of her wards.

"I got it!" One of the kites ran by with a red length of cloth.

"Hey! Give me back my bow!"

"Thornwood! That's a penalty to your team tomorrow!" Lilac Governess yelled at the ribbon thief.

"Oh come on! That's not fair!" Several of the children whined. Well, I guessed something never changed, though she had come a long way since my time here.

Mother made her tearful farewell while father played it stoic. Dusk was tearful too. Guess that is normal when being sent off to another place all of a sudden. I didn't like to see my sister cry, so I assured her that Mother would visit her often.

"What about Indigo?" she asked. I had not seen her nearly as much since I started my apprenticeship with the Elder, and I realized she had grown a lot. I couldn't really appreciate it until now and felt guilty for not coming to see her more.

"Yes, I'll come visit too." Had plenty of time these days...

She ran up, her hug catching me off guard. I blushed, wondering how I had become worthy of such affection.

Afterward, I had dinner with my parents. I had already gotten the day off from Snowcap Elder. Getting days off in Yutsuukitsuu society is remarkably easy, you basically just say you're taking the day off and nobody bats an eye. If you work independently then even that is unnecessary. It's a little more strict for apprentices as your mentor has the final say, but they're fairly lenient... Unless they are Moonlight Guardian... I just made myself sad.

What made me almost as sad was that tonight's dinner was a green fruit-based dish... I really should visit more. Mother had forgotten that I loathed this dish and I'm sure she wouldn't have made it if she had remembered. Recently, I learned that green fruit is known as raka in Caster—my nemesis now had a name. Oh well, I didn't have much of an appetite these days anyway. Maybe I could just pick around all that raka...

"You know Indigo, I haven't seen you around recently," Father said between spoonfuls of the green fruit stew.

"Sorry... I'll make a point to stop by more often," I responded. It was unlike Dad to play up the guilt.

"That's not what I meant," he said, waving his now empty spoon. "I mean I haven't seen you on patrol."

"Oh... Yeah well..." The Hunters would go outside the patrol area, but it was not uncommon to pass by them.

"Did something happen?" He put the spoon down.

"No, it's fine..."

Father just shrugged and picked his spoon back up. "Well if you don't want to talk about it, that's fine, but Indigo..." He swallowed down another spoonful of tonight's fair. "You shouldn't leave the situation unresolved. That is part of being an adult."

Father was usually sparse on the advice, but he did have a point, but still...