Our broken constellations

「 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐦𝐞 ? 」

I'm drowning...

I hate it.

Ah. It’s that dream again.

The same dream that haunts me from time to time. I know it, yet I don’t. It feels like a memory—but not mine. They belong to "me," but at the same time, they don’t.

What are these memories?

All I see is "me" waking up, staring at a book filled with black-and-white images. The pages are highly detailed, depicting strange figures—pirates, perhaps—who ate “devil fruits” and searched for something called the "One Piece." But I couldn’t quite understand it. The words were unfamiliar, strange symbols with rigid strokes. The "me" in the dream called it "kanji," and the book—"manga."

As "I" read, a presence entered the room. A girl, dressed in a maid uniform. Myabe she work there. "I" closed the manga, and we spoke. I don’t remember the words, only the emotions. Then, suddenly, "my" blank, lifeless eyes filled with tears. "I" ran. Ran outside, through a world that felt familiar yet alien.

The next thing I knew, "I" arrived at what "I" called a "hospital." Walking up the sterile white stairs, "I" reached a door and stepped inside. A girl lay on the bed—long black hair, pale skin, eyes void of color.

"My" heart clenched.

"I" believed it was "my" little brother but clearly It wad "my" little sister.. How strange.

The nurse entered and said something.

"My" breath grew shallow, legs trembling, vision blurring. "I" stumbled back.

"I" denied her words, refused to believe them.

Then, she woke up.

The moment her eyes opened, "I" rushed forward and called her name which was apparently Yuki. Forced a smile, despite the way my chest ached. Told her "my" name.

She only was more confused than before.

She didn't remember "me."

A dull pain spread through "my" chest, deeper than grief. Despair settled in. But instead of breaking, "I" was consumed by "my" delusions.

If "I" am the fallen angel, then "I" must, cannot, will not never break.

"I" visited every day. Sat by her side, soothed her fears. Read to her, played games with her. Told her stories—of pirates, of shinobies, of adventures in far-off worlds.

Months passed. Five, maybe more. Yuki grew attached to "me."

But "I" visited less and less.

At first, it was every few days. Then once a month. Then, after a year—barely at all. "I" had graduated from something called "high school."

Yuki noticed. She grew anxious, distressed whenever "I" wasn’t there. Perhaps that was my plan all along—to make sure at least one person never forgot me. Maybe it was because everyone else had already forgotten, leaving me in the dark, alone. Or maybe it was because the pressure—the expectations—had become unbearable.

Maybe it was because "I" had forgotten how to be human.

Maybe it was because "I" was simply tired.

⠀⠀⠀⠀
⠀⠀

「Life didn’t hate me, nor did I hate life.

⠀⠀⠀⠀I was just tired of life; life was tired of me.」

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

⠀⠀

"I" isolated myself, scummbing to loneliness, insanity consuming "me", until "I" was nothing more than a hollow puppet.

But through it all, "I" clung to one thing called Isekai.

Being transported to another world.

The idea obsessed me. Consumed me. "I" drowned in every game, every manga, every anime, every novel, and every single way.

Why?

Was I tired of life?

No. That wasn’t it.

Maybe it didn’t matter. There were people worse off than me. People suffering, starving, abandoned, tortured. I had no right to complain. And yet Why did it hurt so much?

I was losing hope as "I" couldn't hold on any more.

And then Vetaback released, and I heard someone call me for breakfast.

Huh?

Breakfast?

I slowly opened my eyes. The view was centric and a little blurry, the colors chromatic, and the white ceiling felt familiar, yet there was something strange about it. The air felt suffocating but strangely calm.

The reflection of the sunlight made its way through the window, and the sound of birds chirping created a peaceful atmosphere. My eyes hadn’t fully opened yet as I slowly moved my hand up and saw it reaching for the ceiling—it couldn't…

Ah. I just remembered. Today is the day I finally become a hero.

So, I got up, walked out of bed, and went downstairs to the bathroom. After I was done with my business, I washed my listless face—my eyes, dull from tiredness, became energetic again. I brushed my teeth and went to the dining room, where a delicate scent was coming from the kitchen. I walked closer, pulled the chair back a bit—which was hard for me—and sat down. Soon, Miyuki came and sat down as well. There was soup in the middle with some bread slices and plates.

Miyuki passed the soup to me as I ate the bread with it. Normally, I would only eat bread, but since today was a special day, Miyuki had made soup for me.

"Natsumi, are you really sure about this?"

He spoke with a sad voice, almost as if he didn’t want me to go.

"Mmm."

I nodded in response.

"Natsumi Tohka, think about this again! This is not some sort of roleplay. Your mom and dad met in the academy, but they still died because of them. There will be no going back once you enter it. You're still a young boy—don't waste your childhood on something that will get you killed!"

Miyuki spoke as tears ran down his old eyes. He was taking too much stress at his age, which wasn’t good. He was already sweating and panting a lot.

"Miyuki, take a break… I have already made my final decision. Whether I die or live, it all depends on my choices, so don't worry, okay?"

Also, I wanted to figure out what those strange dreams I’d been having meant. Those dreams felt similar to me, but they weren’t mine. And at that academy, I would be able to learn magic, which made me feel even more compelled to go there for some reason.

I should be telling him that… But that would just stress him out even more, which isn’t good for his health.

"I'm asking one final time… Are you really going? Also, call me Grandpa, not Miyuki."

He spoke with a burning resolve, and I knew it—if I didn’t have the resolve, I would just die as a random guy.

And by the way, there’s no way I’m calling him Grandpa. It’s way too embarrassing.

"Mmm."

So, I nodded as hard as I could, smashing my head into the desk.

Ouch. That really hurts.

I lifted my head and saw Miyuki panicking, bringing a cloth and some ointment to apply to my forehead. I don’t know why, but seeing him made me smile.

After that, we talked for a while, reminiscing about old memories—stories from before I was born, about how he was just a random guy who had enrolled in the academy in pursuit of dominating the world. He was an arrogant, selfish person who didn’t care about anyone until he met my mom, Rinko, and my dad, Cid. Miyuki got beaten by them, and later, they became friends.

It was quite fun hearing about my mom and dad—people whose faces I had never even seen. Still, I would like to meet them.

We talked for a while, and after we finished, I decided I was going to tell him about the dreams I’d been having. But as soon as I was about to, he refused and told me,

"If you have any secrets you don’t want to tell anyone, you don’t have to. If it’s hard to talk about, then don’t."

So, I didn’t speak. I just continued listening to him.

But alas, it was finally time for me to go.

I wore my uniform and the rin that had a dark looking crystal on it that he had given me, which would apparently protect me.

I walked out the door, and Miyuki stood there, crying, saying goodbye to me. He couldn’t come with me because he was old, and because of my stubbornness—I didn’t want to make him tired.

"Take care, Grandpa!"

I shouted as I was already far away from home and ran forward.

I looked back to see his face with a smile.

It seemed like he had heard me.

He was shouting something, and I could tell that he was tell me to take care of myself.

***

It’s been a few days since I left home, and I’m this close to leaving the forest.

Miyuki had explained that we lived in the middle of a secluded part of the forest—an isolated place where no one else lived because he didn’t want me to get hurt. The only human interactions I had were with him. So, I had to navigate the dense forest, find my way out, climb the mountains, get on a carriage, venture through the plains, reach a town, and then, finally, I would arrive at the academy.

Ah… I just realized how hard this is going to be, traveling alone.

I had traveled with Miyuki before, but that was five years ago! A lot has changed in those five years, you know? And my memory hasn’t been that good lately—I’ve been forgetting a lot of things, probably because of those dreams. I should’ve made him come with me as well, but… well, the past can’t be changed. And I still believe taking the risk myself was a better choice than making him take it.

For the past few days, I’ve been drinking water from the bottle that appears from the subspace in the ring on my right hand. Unlike the other black ring Miyuki gave me, this one is from my parents. It has a built-in subspace that allows me to store some things. I don’t know its maximum capacity—not even Miyuki knew.

Anyway, I’ve used up a bit of my water and food supply. The wildlife here is calm; there are no monsters. All I’ve seen are Lustrous Rabbits, Twelve-Moon Deers, and some other common animals. They are lethal, but as long as you don’t provoke or annoy them, you’ll be fine.

And while I was lost in my monologue, the sun had already set. It was getting dark.

Miyuki always told me it’s dangerous to be out at night, so I climbed a tree and lay on its thick branches, hoping no monsters would notice my presence.

That was when I encountered a Lustrous Rabbit.

It had the appearance of a rabbit, but with fangs, blood-red eyes, and a tail made of pure Xaichronium—a super rare metal with a mesmerizing rainbow hue. Most of them even have gems embedded in their bodies, making them highly sought after. People hunt these creatures down for their Xaichronium, which is used for various purposes—crafting swords, enhancing total magic power, and even as a combustion device that overloads with magic and explodes.

Despite its fearsome reputation, I reached out and petted the rabbit.

Surprisingly, its fur was soft, not hard as I had expected.

It kind of seemed to like me.

But then… the little bastard betrayed me and ran away.

After weeks of venturing through the forest, I finally made it out.

And now, as I stood before the towering peaks, the road that was at the side of the rocks and steps it was.

This doesn't seem too bad..

I walked along the sloped path of the mountainside, my steps careful and steady. The wind was relentless at this altitude, howling like a beast hungry for anything daring to stand against it. Each gust sent a shiver down my spine, threatening to push me off balance. It only grew stronger the higher I climbed, until at some point, the river below wasn’t even visible anymore—just an endless stretch of rocky cliffs and empty sky.

The path eventually straightened out, but that didn’t make it any safer. Cracks littered the ground, deep enough to hint at the unstable earth beneath my feet. Loose stones crumbled away with every step. And as if that wasn’t enough, falling rocks occasionally came tumbling down from above, smashing into the ground with a force that made my bones tremble.

Just like Miyuki said… There could be flying monsters here.

Or, as people called them, dragons.

I was curious whether I would see one.

But I didn’t...

I continued walking, but after a while, I decided to take a break.

I sat down for a moment and eventually fell asleep.

After some time, I woke up, jolted by the fear of accidentally falling.

It’s been strange…

Those dreams…

They don’t feel like mine, yet somehow, they resonate with something deep inside me.

Whenever I talk about magic or anything related to it, there’s this overwhelming sense of enthusiasm—like I’ll miss something if I don’t act, like something I need to do forever.

Whenever I feel like opening up to others, a sudden pressure fills my chest, warning me not to trust anyone, not to believe in anything..

Sometimes, I feel like I have lost something I can never get back.

But the strangest thing of all..

I have this strong, unshakable feeling that people will forget about me.

That I shouldn’t get attached to them.

…Well.

I should find out more once I reach that academy.

I exhaled sharply and reached my right hand forward. The blue gem on my ring gleamed, reacting to my will. A faint ripple appeared in the air—a rift in space. And from it, a water bottle emerged.

I grabbed it and took a long sip, letting the cold water soothe my parched throat.

Then, just as I was about to stand up my foot slipped.

And before I could react, I fell.

The world spun as I tumbled down the valley, gravity pulling me into a freefall.

But at the last moment, my hand shot out, gripping onto a jutting rock.

My body jerked to a stop, hanging over the deadly drop below.

My fingers groaned under the strain as they clung desperately to the rough surface of the rock

Cracks began to spread across its surface, jagged lines spreading like a dark omen. Tiny fragments of stone broke free, tumbling away into the abyss below.

Originally, I was not going to make it this slow paced but looking back,it wad pretty fast paced so I decided to make it a bit longer. I would try my best to finish volume 1 as soon as possible so I can write other novels I have planned for.