Men and Monsters

Immediately After:

The car door slammed behind Terrance. We were all stuffed into the three back seats. Agent Spirit tilted her head back and forth, “So how did you pull it off? I mean, you didn’t pull it off, but you got… here…”

“You didn’t even know what we’re here for,” Mina huffed.

“Yeah, how did ya know we didn’t find them yet?” Pippa whined.

Agent Spirit turned the steering wheel with one hand, lazily looking backward over her seat, “Really? Pippa Twitch, did you think your intentions were exactly secret?”

I looked out the windshield, “If you stop us, we’ll tell everyone. We’ll tell them about everything. The magic-giving drug, Teddy being kidnapped, all of it.”

“Sparrowbane…” Agent Spirit made a sudden turn without a signal. She cut off a bicyclist, slamming on the horn as she did, “You’re too much like your mother. Did you know the DOO has to sign off on any resurrections that happen? Don’t give them a reason to lose their paperwork.” My wings bent forward instinctually, curling around my shoulders.

“Are you threatening us?” Mina yelped.

“No. I’m trying to keep you all in one piece.” Agent Spirit stopped to yell expletives at another driver out the window. She took a deep breath, “And, you know, you kids are making that very, very difficult.”

“We’re doing the right thing,” Bruno protested.

Spirit made a sharp turn into a garage and pulled up to a barrier inside. There was a tall, concrete kiosk with a tempered glass window. A man in a black-and-green DOO uniform slowly raised the barrier from the inside, allowing us to pass. Spirit turned around as she parked, “There’s no such thing as the right thing. It’s a harsh lesson, but you should know it. Someone suffers no matter what you do. Your mother is still alive, Bruno Stafford, nobody wants you to die. I don’t want you to, the president doesn’t want you to. So, make the right decisions.”

“The right decision is the one where I’m with my friends,” He folded his wings behind his head.

Spirit slowly took the keys out of the car. This wide, underground parking lot was filled with unmarked government vehicles. A long walkway circled the outside of the lot, and DOO agents patrolled the perimeter. She smiled sweetly at Bruno, “With your friends? Yes, I know this has always ended well for them. Alice, too, right?”

The tip of Bruno’s wing curled around itself, his feathers bristling, as he followed Terrance and Pippa out of the car. “Say that again…”

“Maybe I’ll make you do it again,” Spirit walked closer to him, “I hold your beak, and I’ll watch your eyes sink as you realize what you’ve done.” Mina flicked, a flash of freezing magic flying from her hand toward Spirit’s head. Agent Spirit tried to duck out of the way, but was caught by the spell, frost spreading through her hair as she collapsed to the ground.

Mina flew over to her, “Uh… Did I?”

Terrance looked down at her, “She’s still breathing… a little bit. I wouldn’t be too worried about it.” There was a click, and I turned to see half a dozen agents approaching us from all sides. Their firearms were raised.

“DOO! Get on the ground!” They stepped closer, “Do not resist!”

Terrance stood sharply, “Are you all deaf? She was threatening him!” He yelled.

“What are you doing?” Mina flew beside him.

The agents raised their weapons, “Last chance! Get on the ground!”

Terrance shook his head slowly. He stomped and threw his arms forward, a torrent of wind escaping from him and throwing four of the agents back. Their weapons flew from their hands as they struck the ground, “Didn’t I tell you? I’m the Chosen One!”

The other agents started squeezing the triggers of their weapons. Before they could fire, Pippa snapped both her fingers. Little spurts of fire jutted out of her fingers and caught both of them on the chin. “Come on, ya can’t go down that easy!” She laughed as the collapsed. Her tail flicked wildly behind her.

Bruno looked around. Other agents were approaching from the far wall, “Come on, let’s go!” His talons scratched on the ground as he ran onward. We followed him toward the edge of the lot. Between two concrete pillars sat a dark, metal door. The agents from throughout the lot didn’t run to chase us, they fanned out in a semicircle and slowly walked forward, holding their pistols at the ready.

“Through the door!” Terrance pointed at it, “We’ll lock it behind us!” He tried to pull it open as we reached it, but it wouldn’t budge an inch. A little, computerized terminal hung from the wall beside it. Our pursuers slowly got closer.

I flew up to the terminal. I pressed my hand against it, and a keypad came up, “Oh, come on! Come on!” I yelled at it. I thought for a second, “What code would they use?”

“Alice, who knows?” Mina threw her arms up.

“Try one-two-three-four!” Terrance yelped, “No wait, that’s too obvious! One-two-three-five!” I rolled my eyes, but tried his suggestion anyway.

One, I pressed my whole hand against the button. I reached over to two, then three, and five. The keypad flashed green, and the door clicked open. I stared at it for a moment as everyone ran inside, “How did you know?” I asked.

“My mom used to use it as a code for some stuff,” Terrance laughed to himself, “and, luck is a power!” We rushed into a hallway with walls painted slick black. Long white letters were plastered into the wallpaper reading: DEPARTMENT OF THE OCCULT - SITE 1. I took a deep breath as I saw it. The door opened again when we were halfway down the hall.

“Stand down!” A yell came from behind us, “We will shoot!” But, we only sped up, racing down the hall. We were all breathing heavily when we turned a corner. There stood Agent Crest and Agent Limerick across from him. They laughed to themselves, blocking our path.

“So, so fussy,” Limerick laughed to himself, “now let’s set aside the tantrum, and be reasonable.” A clatter of footsteps continued behind us, and more agents spilled out of the hallway. Their sea of black-and-green uniforms pushed out around us. Bruno quietly sat on the ground. Terrance and Pippa begrudgingly followed him.

Crest cracked his knuckles, “Now, ya gonna surrender?” He cackled, “How boring.”

Limerick raised his hand slightly, “Search them. Let them keep their clothes.” He pressed his hand down against Bruno’s shoulder, “This is pitiful. And, for somebody of your history. Do you think Alice will really forgive you over something so meaningless as the representative’s pet project?”

Bruno leaned forward, “Who cares?” He laughed to himself. His beak twitched, and his eyes narrowed on me. He chirped, “Alice, I love you. I don’t expect you to…”

“Yeah,” I whispered, “I… I’m staring to think…”

Limerick stepped between us, “Is now really the time for this? And, after everything he did to you?” He pretended to whisper just loud enough for everyone to hear, “You know he can’t be trusted.”

One of the agents cupped me in his hands, closing his black-gloved fingers around me. Mina was taken in the same way. I looked through the tiny gaps in my captor’s hands as Terrance, Bruno, and Pippa were led forward. I tried to count how many agents I saw. There were nine on the left flank, and five more. I heard at least another three pairs of footsteps. Then, there were Limerick and Crest who appeared to be taking command. And, that was just the ones throughout the parking lot. We passed another ten, at least, as we walked through the site.

“So, DOO, do you have to use magic to get hired here?” Terrance acted calm.

“It’s magical enforcement,” one of the agents laughed, “most of us don’t need magic.” I thanked that agent under my breath. They couldn’t use magic. Limerick and Crest could, I knew them already. I was sure they already knew what we’d done to Spirit, nominally, she was their captain. I studied what I could see of the DOO uniforms. They were straight black suits with a green decal, and dark green ties. Some of them had a green patch sewed into the front of their suit beside their nametag.

“So, Agent… Verity?” I read the nametag beside one of the patches. Only four of them had the patches, “Do you use magic?”

“Captain Verity,” he corrected me, “I do.” I smiled inwardly.

Pippa’s tail flicked back and forth behind her as she walked, “So, where are ya taking us? Slaughterhouse? Meat grinder? Sausage factory?” She spoke quickly, letting the fur around her ears bristle as if she was afraid.

“Of course not,” Limerick kept walking. He sounded confused, “we’re not going to turn a bunch of children into… sausages… We’re bringing you to a holding cell until you can be safely returned to California.”

“Lucky!” Pippa cheered, “See, it’s been a really long and exhausting journey. I just can’t wait to sleep in my own bed, Agent!” She rubbed her head against him, slamming her side against his as she did.

He pushed her away, grumbling, “Catfolk…” A little clawmark was left on the edge of Agent Limerick’s pocket, barely visible. Pippa backed away from him after, her fangs hanging lazily over her lips.

Mina yelled, “Pippa! What are you doing? Come on, they’re not our friends!” Her voice trailed off, intentionally aggressive.

Terrance turned, raising his voice, “This was your stupid idea, you know!”

Pippa blinked, she rushed toward the agent carrying Mina, “He’s right!” She faked, “You’re so mean, sometimes!”

Agent Crest grabbed Pippa by the shoulder, “Suddenly so nice, and fighting with your friends too. I don’t know what you’re playing at. But, if you try something stupid, I’ll order those men to crush the fairies in their hands.” Pippa squeaked. She quieted down.

Limerick walked around his partner. He whispered to him. Bruno listened closely. He waited a moment, then repeated Limerick’s words aloud, “Remember what Director Archstar said. Alive.”

“Do you have to eavesdrop?” Limerick cracked his neck.

“I’m an owl. I can’t help it,” He chirped, “so, you can’t kill us. But, you have to make pointless threats. Cute.”

Crest laughed out loud, “No order is gonna stop me from defending myself. You’ll just be thrown in a cell once you get revived. I’ll get a stern talking to.”

“If you all act reasonably, none of this will be a concern,” Agent Limerick scratched the back of his head, “so, let’s all calm down once and for all. I don’t like when people get hurt. That’s not why I’m in this job.”

Terrance grumbled, “You’re not a good guy, you know.”

“You all just attacked several federal agents,” He spoke sternly, “the DOO, and the FBI’s magical task force, are there because of things like that. Kids like you. Imagine what would happen if you were loose on a bunch of normal people. My job is to protect those people.”

“They… Threatened… Us,” Terrance breathed heavily, “we had no choice.”

“You’re not supposed to be here, outside of school, in the first place,” Limerick kept walking. Everyone was forced to follow him, “this is all your fault.”

“Do you think we’re monsters?” Terrance sped up, walking beside Limerick.

“Bruno is,” he shrugged, “I have no idea what the rest of you are, and I don’t really care. Monsters try to kill people for selfish reasons.”

“We’re trying to save our mother!” Mina exhaled. She stopped herself, slowing her breathing, “Would you deny us that?”

“That’s none of my business,” Limerick turned away. His feet stamped against the ground as led us down a sterile, metal staircase. White flood lights blared overhead. They reflected bright enough off the stairs to burn in my eyes, and they were completely absorbed by the black walls. Some of the agents tailing them left us here, the narrow stairs giving them no useful role. Now, there were seven including Limerick and Crest, one in the front and back, then one with each of us.

I counted seven flights of stairs we descended into the Earth below the Capitol. The footsteps clattering against each and echoing upward endlessly. There was another metal door. This one required a keycard. Limerick reached into his pocket, fishing around for something. He looked around awkwardly, then cleared his throat, “Crest…” He nodded toward it.

Crest shoulder-checked his partner, “I got ya, mate.” He used his own card to open the door, “Ya lose yours again?”

“I could have sworn I had it,” Limerick shook his head, “it must be in my office.” His eyes raised up to the ceiling. His head shook slightly, unsure.

“You’d better have it, mate,” Crest laughed, “Bossman’s not gonna be happy.” One of the other agents in the back laughed. As the door opened, we saw a unmarked, gray room. There were further flights of stairs going deeper than here, but this was our stopping point. A fold-out plastic table sat in the center of the room, with little, metal chairs around it. A bright lamp flashed on in the middle of the table. There was a mirror extending the length of the right wall. I doubted the DOO had it so people detained here could check how they looked. Limerick fished around in his pocket some more as we were brought inside. Mina and I were set softly down on the table.

“Take a seat,” Agent Limerick cleared his throat, “make yourselves comfortable.” Only him and Crest stayed, the rest of the agents leaving.

“Weren’t you going to search us?” Bruno turned, facing the mirror directly.

Limerick blinked. He looked down at his pocket again, “Just had over your pills, Bruno. I don’t need anything else from you.” Bruno took the Tylenol pills out. He placed them down on the table and watched Limerick carefully. “The other ones. The silver ones,” the agent spoke quickly, “Now.” Bruno set them out, his eyes watching Limerick’s hand, the fingers twitching as he grabbed the pill bottles.

“I gave you this,” Bruno bargained, “now tell me who is on the other side?” He pointed his wing at the mirror.

“This isn’t an interrogation,” Agent Crest slammed his fist down on the table only an inch away from me. I fell over, my shoulders tensing up as he shook the surface below me. If the bottom of his meaty fist had hit me, it would have crushed me.

Terrance leaned back in his chair, “Where was Agent Limerick on the night of October 3?”

“I was driving north on the Pacific Coast Highway,” Limerick gritted his teeth, “looking everywhere between Maple and Monterey for a few pains in the side.”

“Wrong direction,” I lifted myself up, crossing my legs under me.

“We figured that out quickly,” Limerick took a deep breath, his quivering hand slowing down, “Somebody in a convenience store about half an hour south of Maple called in to report a stolen government car. It wasn’t stolen, it turns out, but it was carrying people it wasn’t supposed to be. A few hours later, you showed up on a security camera at the San Luis Obispo train station. It became quite obvious what your plan was from there, and there was no reason for us to cause a commotion somewhere less easy to control than here.”

“A-ha! Ya wanted to catch ‘em in L.A!” Crest stomped his foot against the ground, “And Agent Spirit said…”

“I don’t give a cow’s rump what Spirit said,” Limerick breathed in through his nose. He reached down and grabbed Crest by the collar of his suit, like a kitten’s scruff. Crest receded backward, his good leg shivered as his peg-leg dangled an inch off the ground.

“Oh,” Pippa trotted over to the mirror, “so nobody’s watching, huh?”

“Wha-whaddaya mean?” Crest backed away from his partner.

“When I was little, I always wanted to beat the snot out of Bruno,” Pippa cooed, “ohhh, but there was always a teacher watching, so I never could.” She swirled her finger, and a blast of cold roared toward the agents. The ducked out of the way, narrowly avoiding it.

Limerick flicked. Mina jutted her hand out as he did, her fingers hissing with warmth. An arc of sparkling electricity flickered out of his hand toward Pippa, but a little jut of fire caught it just in front of Pippa’s face. Both spells fizzled out harmlessly. Limerick nudged his partner as he adjusted his stance, “Damn it. Shoot to kill.”
I flew up, circling them overhead. Before the could cast another spell, I conjured a boiling stream of water, splattering toward them with the pressure of a hose. Crest screamed as it caught him across the face, red and white blisters bubbling across his cheek and jaw. He tripped, his hands pressing against his burned face. Terrance cast his arm downward wildly, a gust of wind roaring against Limerick who managed to remain standing. Terrance pressed his eyes together after casting it, his balance shifted. He looked dizzy.

Bruno launched an arc of flame toward the crippled Agent Crest, raking him across his back and setting fire to his clothes. The man kept screaming. I just wished he would shut up already. Limerick turned slightly toward his partner. He winced as he saw him, “You’ll come back, brother. You’ll come back.” Limerick faced terrance, he clenched his fist shut, the veins thick under his wrist.

A twittering, screeching firework burst out of Agent Limerick’s wrist. It rolled forward, exploding against Terrance’s stomach. Pippa and Bruno covered their ears as they were thrown to the ground. I flew out of the way of the burning debris, flashing green and red. When I looked down, Terrance was sprawled out across the ground. He was missing an arm and a leg. His shirt was burned half off, revealing a gaping, red hole in his belly. What breaths escaped his throat were long and thin. Their noise was high-pitched and cracked. As we picked ourselves up, we surrounded Limerick. First he knelt beside Agent Crest. He cast a spell into his partner’s head, and Crest went silent. Agent Limerick finally smiled weakly at us, and put his thumb under his chin, a spell exited his fingertip and flashed through his brain. Agent Limerick fell over silently.

Bruno ran over to Terrance, he fell down beside him, “Terry!” Bruno yelled, “Terry!”

Terrance weakly lifted the arm he had left over his forehead. He slowly saluted, “I’m the goddamn chosen one.” He smiled and shut his eyes. We took the remainder of his shirt with us. The words Chicago or Bust burned away through the middle. He made it to Chicago, and he made it farther beyond.

“We have to win now,” Mina said quietly, “we win, and we go back to Maple, and we make sure Nurse Var brings him back. And right there in front of him, we tell him, we tell him we won. He won.” There wasn’t another word to be said about it.

Pippa approached the door. Her tail sagged under her. She slowly removed Agent Limerick’s keycard from her pocket, and placed it against the terminal, “Come on. Let’s go.”

I stopped a moment longer beside Terrance. The only person I’d ever watched die was myself. I didn’t see the moment it actually ended. I’d heard of friends quietly overexerting themselves. I’d read about all the people who’d died throughout history. The breath in my lungs felt like sludge. I believed for years that I couldn’t care about death. How could I care? I’d died. But now, it wasn’t me, and it hung there in the corner of my eyes. I cared.

“When did you get that?” Bruno followed after Pippa.

“I picked his pocket when I rubbed on him earlier,” Pippa sighed. There was no alarm blaring outside. There were no footsteps in the halls. Mina flew out into the stairwell, and she looked up and down.

“Nobody’s coming…” She blinked, “They’re playing games with us.”

I flew out after her. Crest and Limerick were laying flat in the room. Seeing them die didn’t bother me. They were like the spiders. The monsters among men, and I wondered if it should irk me, that there was no suffering in seeing their pain. Terrance didn’t seem to notice any pain at all, and his was agony. My fingers shook. There were men and monsters, and I wondered if I’d ever forget which was which. My voice shook as I hovered beside Mina, “Did the DOO want us to kill them?”

“I don’t know,” Mina whispered, “if so, those agents weren’t in on it.”

“We didn’t kill them,” Bruno took a deep breath, “Limerick finished them both off for us. We don’t have anything to feel sorry for.”