The Weight of it all

Natalia thought she was having the same dream. The sword was there, and she made an effort to go pick it up. She realized that she was in her bedroom, looking out the blade in the garden. She waited for someone else to pick it up with eager anticipation. No one came.

“Do you realize what you’ve done?” Shisa burned with anger, wiping the blood from Natalia’s nose. “This could ruin you!”

“I’m sowwy…” Natalia wheezed, her nose still burning in deep pain. It was broken and Shisa had to forcedly reset it and apply healing magic. Liandra refused to heal her.

“Aah, it’s going to be a little crooked,” Shisa shook her head, wiping away more blood with ahandkerchief before grabbing Natalia’s face, examining the damage from different angles. “My healing isn’t good enough.”

“Whur’s Liandwa?” Natalia snorted.

“The High Priestess left,” Shisa sighed.

“Oh…” Natalia looked away.

“This is what happens whenI not there, this is my fault,” Shisa began, getting up and pacing. “I wasn’t there to keep you in check, Ia failure as a maid.”

Shisa stopped, biting her lip and tapping her foot aggressively.

“I don’t know what we can do,” She let out. “All those common adventurers saw you take that hit. They saw you pass out.” Shisa ruffled her normallywell-kept blue hair, pulling some strands out.

“I sed I was sowwy,” Natalia rubbed her nose.

“Reputation is everything to an S rank!” Shisa screamed, catching Natalia off guard. “One of the pillars of the guild lost a fight to a nobody, and not just any nobody, there are rumors going around that he was skill-less! Skill-less, Lady Crestfall! One hundred years of the supremacy of the Blade Goddess skill, and it all comes crashing down in one day, all because you couldn’t control yourself!” Shisa shot forward, placing a heavy finger on Natalia’s chest.

“So what!” Natalia slapped Shisa’s hand away.

“So what?” Shisa laughed, rolling her eyes. “Five out of six S ranks are on this deep delve. They know first hand what happen, and now they’ll be emboldened to undercut you and belittle you. Once this reaches the surface, the banking guild will hear about this. Do you really think Dorn Allborne will keep funding us if he hears how you lost to a skill-less low ranker?”

“I didn’t lose!” Natalia roared. “Liandra stopped me before I could beat him!”

“That doesn’t matter, my lady,” Shisa growled. “It’s the perception. Everything is perception. Perception is reality. We’re going to lose everything unless we fix this.”

‘Who cares?” Natalia pouted.

“What?!” Shisa gasped, completely exasperated.

“So what if I lose everything?” Natalia yelled, shoving Shisa back, startling the maid. “I didn’t want to do this anyway! I don’t want to be the Blade Princess anymore.”

“How could you say that?” Shisa shook her head. “Your father didn’t die in this very dungeon just so that you could say you don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Don’t bring him up,” Natalia warned. “Don’t you dare.”

“My lady,” Shisa composed herself, taking a deep breath. “I’m trying to help you.”

“We used to be friends, Shisa,” Natalia reminded. “You used to call me Natalia, and we used to play together.”

“Things changed,” Shisa said. “It’s not the same anymore. We’re not children, even if you insist on acting like one.”

Natalia said nothing, a look of defeat on her face.

“We can fix this,” Shisa said softly, grabbing Natalia’s hands. “It’ll take work, but we can still salvage this.”

Natalia nodded. She was too downtrodden to speak anymore.

“Prove to them that the Blade Goddess skill is still supreme,” Shisa instructed. “Whatever happens tomorrow, remind them why the Crestfall name will forever be S rank. She seemed quite angry, but maybe you can apologize to the High Priestess. With her word that she stopped you, we can also recover your reputation with the common people. Yes, that’ll work…” Shisa nodded, more to herself than to Natalia.

“Okay,” Natalia agreed, already falling back into her training.

“I will support you, Lady Crestfall,” Shisa assured. “We will make it through this.”

“Yes.” Natalia nodded. Already her thoughts were drifting elsewhere. She missed her bed. She missed the garden.

“Get some rest, my lady. Tomorrow we’ll fix everything.” Shisa smiled.

Natalia hated her for that. She missed the smile she used to have. The smile of her childhood friend was buried under the training that bound her. She realized she was trapped. There was no escaping who she was. And that made her hate Will even more. How could he live like that? People don’t just decide to be something they're not. And yet, regardless of what happen, she knew she had lost to him. Will defied his destiny, and overcame her supposedly invincible power.

“Damn him,” She cursed as she tucked herself into bed at night. “Damn him.” She said again as the tears rolled down her cheeks.

The dream played again. The young girl was alone at her window sill. The sword was there. She knew she had to go out and pick it up. It was her destiny. She had to. No one else would. The little girl went out into the garden. Was it spring? She wasn’t sure. She didn’t remember. The sword sat alone there. There was a woman sitting by it. She had long silver hair and a flowing white gown. Her eyes were like golden orbs. She spoke, but the little girl didn’t understand her. And she picked the sword up again, like she always had each night. The woman frowned.

Morning arrived, indicated by the time dial fixture standing in the corner of the tent. Natalia was already awake, laying and watching as the crystal on the time dial slowly shifted from purple to green.

“Good morning, my lady,” Shisa entered, as she normally did, and got about getting Natalia dressed.

The S rankers were gathered outside, perusing a table with a map on it. Markus argued with Kagan as Zena looked on, a bored expression on her face. Liandra sat on a nearby stool. Natalia locked eyes with her. Liandra gave her a sad look before turning away. She didn’t dare look at Natalia in the face again.

“Well, well, well,” Kagan grinned, exposing his sharp teeth. “If it isn’t the princess?”

“Good morning, Kagan,” Natalia smiled, closing her eyes. “How are preparations for incursion going?”

Shisa stood near her, nodding in approval.

“Are you sure you’re feeling well?” Kagan broke away from the table, lumbering over towards Natalia. He was easily a meter taller than her. “Not going to cry again, are you?”

“I assure you,” Natalia answered, still smiling. “I am more than ready for today’s mission.”

“Heard you did my brother in,” Kagan spat. “He’s useless as crap, but he’s still my blood.”

“I sincerely apologize,” Natalia bowed. “The Crestfall household will gladly pay for any healing fees, and assure you that such a thing will never happen again.”

Kagan roared in laughter.

“I like it when you’re like this,” He gasped, suppressing a chuckle. “Prim and proper.”

“I am merely acting in accordance with my station,” Natalia said. “And I insist you do as well.”

Kagan clicked his tongue.

“Crestfall,” Markus interrupted. “Are you sure you’re good for the vanguard? Don’t want you risking your life if you’re still injured.”

“I insist,” Natalia answered. “And assure you it won’t be a problem.”

“Okay,” Markus nodded. “Then come over here then, Ishow the path we’re taking.”

Natalia walked over to the map, Shisa following very closely behind. She locked down at it, watching as Markus confirmed their positions with his fingers, before pointing towards the divergent point they were to enter.

“It’s a small opening,” He explained. “Should just be enough to getthe wagons through if we go in a straightline. However, that’s not the plan.Instead, the dungeon town will set up right at the mouth of the cave, and we’ll delve into it, seeing how far it goes, while primarily returning to the camp in the evening.”

Markus went over a few more details, Natalia nodding along politely. After a few more logistic issues were sorted out, Natalia readied herself to continue onwards. Leaving the planning area, she immediately felt all the people’s eyes on her. She knew they were talking about her, and how she was left in tears fighting a nobody adventurer. Each word was like a knife into her fragile soul; each insult a crack on a fragile vase. For the first time in a long time, she felt the full weight of the burden on her. She looked to Shisa, perhaps looking for some expression or word of reassurance.

“Keep walking,” She instructed. “Don’t break your stride.”

Natalia swallowed the lump forming in her throat. She suppressed the heat forming in her eyes with everything she had. She returned to form, following her training exactly. A strong knight, calm in the face of danger.

“Just like father,” She muttered under her breath.

She was glad to be away from the camp, moving through the thicket at a full sprint. Shisa, of course, kept up with her, but lagged behind just enough for Natalia to breath. This unnatural stamina and speed were less the direct result of her skill, but more on her upbringing. Special training was given to the young heirs of the Blade Goddess skill; their mana was cultivated with the finest forms of magic and alchemy, known as Mana Flow. Mana wasn’t strictly for casting magic, but also served as a form of energy. This energy allowed higher ranking adventurers to move faster than the average person. And Natalia was one of the fastest; hence her position at the front of the formation.

She was like the wind, a blur,kicking up leaves and twigs as she moved. She welcomed the first monster that crossed her path for once, treating it as distraction. It was demon plant; a creature consisting of twisting thorny vines and a sharp maw. The monster barely noticed the whirlwind as it approached, only reacting when several of its vines were suddenly severed.

“It’s not working,” Natalia noted. “Blade Mastery is being weird.”

The threads were more difficult to see than normal, flickering in and out of reality. She picked what she thought was a thread, swinging her blade with reckless abandon. The attack sliced one of the monster’s stems, but didn’t take it down.

“Too shallow,” Natalia clicked her tongue.

Attack Anticipationactivated too late, barely allowing to react as several flying spikes dug into her arm. She gasped in pain, losing grip in her left hand just as Shisa arrived.

“Dammit!” Natalia roared. “If it won’t tell me where to cut,I just slash at it full force!”

She charged mana into her blade, the flowing energy cackling like as it ran up the silver metal. Unlike the stick from last night, this sword was designed to handle a surge of magical energy. With a heft slash, she drove her weapon down, sending out an immerse shockwave that annihilated the creature, as well as several trees behind it.

“My lady!” Shisa approached, noting the blood leaking from Natalia’s arm. “You’re hurt.”

“Yes, I can see that,” Natalia hissed, turning her arm over. Four sharp barbs poked out from her arm.

“Let me see,” Shisa grabbed her arm.

“It’s fine,” Natalia gasped, pulling herself free from Shisa’s grasp. She got to work, manually pulling out the barbs herself.

Shisa casta healing spell, before handing Natalia an antidote potion. Demon plants were a bit venomous, depending on the species, after all.

“My lady,” Shisa walked over to her, reaching for her hand. “Is something wrong?”

“Everything is fine,” Natalia lied, pulling her hand away. “Let’s go.”

Several more monsters were cut down in her wake, dozens of goblins, giant snakes, demon plants and even a forest dragon. Eachtime, Blade Mastery and Attack Anticipation failed her. She was forced to get rougher, using the sheer force of her mana infused blade to slash through each enemy, destroying huge swathes of the forest as collateral damage. It must have looked like an explosion went off, miles of thick trees toppled over, huge chunks of earth blocking much of the blazed path.

“My lady!” She heard somewhere behind her.

She ignored her, moving faster, and even faster still, mana flowing into her limbs and muscles. The world turned into a whirling sea of green, all other sounds replaced by the whistling of her movement. She slashed at an ogre, barely taking time to be sure it was dead, leaving behind more destruction in her wake. She wanted to keep running, faraway from everyone behind her. She wanted to leave it all behind. Again, she could feel the tears welling up. She hated this. She hated how alone she was.

“It’s never enough,” She whimpered.

Finally, she faced a dead end. A towering wall that went all the way up onto the dungeon ceiling. She wobbled to a stop, collapsing on her knees. She was crying again. Not knowing when the tears would dry up. Natalia had expected Shisa to have come and scolded her by now. Probably telling her she isn’t acting like she should. But at least she would’ve dried her tears. She was very tender with Natalia. It was the only care she ever truly received from anyone.

“This place is?” Natalia finally looked up, noticing where she was. “It’s the entrance.”

Natalia bit her lip. She couldn’t even run away properly. Even when she was trying to escape, she did exactly what was expected of her. Angry, she approached the mouth of the cave, sword at the ready. Determining that there wasn’t an ambush waiting for her, she entered. It was damp and slightly overgrown, several vines impending her movement. When she had pushed past the foliage, she found herself in a dark cave, illuminated dimly by glowing fungus. Cautiously, she proceeded forward.

The cave system seemed to wind downwards, almost like a staircase. No, it was a staircase. A crude one, but someone had carved away at the rock, making it easier to descend. Natalia pressed forward, prepared to strike any attackers with full force. Yet, she found none. The staircase continued to spiral all the way down into the earth, the air growing cooler as she journeyed deeper into the belly of the beast. She stopped and listened. Rumbling. Something was rumbling even deeper within. Continuing onwards, she noticed a distinct smell in the air. The smell of salt.

“The Vast Ocean,” Natalia mouthed in wonder when she emerged.

Gray water lapped against the rocky sea shore near the exit of the cave. Dog sized crabs picked at the sea weed, looking for morsels and the occasional dead fish.

“This bypasses two floors,” Natalia muttered. “It really is a shortcut.”

The dungeon was known for not conforming to the laws of space. Much larger than it seems, some have theorized that entire continents lay buried beneath its surface, waiting to be uncovered. It was less a subterranean cave, and more like a portal to a vast world that few were able to comprehend. And Natalia had stumbled on its most unknown feature, a vast ocean of salt water that hadn’t been crossed in half a century.

The girl nervously took her first steps into this new world, her boots crackling from the rocks and sand as she did so. She noted that other than the cave, the beach was empty, devoid of any features save for the vast bundles of sea weed that assaulted the air with the smell of rotting vegetation. Turning around, she found that the strip that the beach came to an end just a few hundred feet in the other direction, giving way to more sea. Normally, one would have to venture past the Shifting Dunes to reach the Vast Ocean, but it seems this cave lead to an narrow island at its center. Natalia didn’t know how far the island stretched, but it seemed to continue onwards in either direction all the way to the horizon.

She hesitated, contemplating going back. Shisa would be worried. Maybe even Liandra too. They were waiting for her. And so was the weight of her skill, and the expectations of society. Pain waited for her as well. The pain of the past, of what she lost to get to where she was. The pain of the present, the same monotony, the same fakeness, the same motions. And the pain of the future, she would continue onwards like this forever, until she produced an heir that would shoulder the burden that she carried once she died.

Natalia decided to walk. And she did, walking down the beach, leaving the cave behind her, ready to face whatever was out there. It was better than turning back. She hoped she never had to return.