Write me a Love Letter Pt. 4

I sat on a bench just outside the library, quietly enjoying the chilly weather. The air was crisp with almost no humidity, and a cool breeze swept across the plaza, brushing against my face. Considering how warm it usually gets during the summer, this was a refreshing change—a rare moment of peace.

After a short detour, Alice returned with two cups of coffee in hand. She sat down beside me and passed one over without a word.

"Thanks," I said, blowing gently into the small opening to cool it down.

"…Sure," she muttered, clearly sounding less enthusiastic than usual.

I glanced at her. "What, don't tell me you're still hung up on what I said earlier."

"Well, I am telling you exactly that. I'm still hung up on what you said earlier."

I sighed and scratched the back of my head. Honestly, there's no pleasing her—no matter what I do.

Earlier, she had offered me a favor. Said she'd do anything I asked, so long as I wrote in that sample notebook with her. And what did I ask for in return?

A cup of coffee. That's it, but come on. What else am I supposed to ask for?

I'm not exactly the most thoughtful person in the world. Hell, I'd even say I'm kind of an asshole sometimes—at least in the sense that I'm not built for this whole social interaction thing. Even so, I do have standards. A bit of restraint. A little respect.

That's why I didn't ask for anything crazy. Just a simple cup of coffee—nothing more, nothing less.

Still, the way Alice was sulking now made me wonder... What exactly was she expecting me to ask for?

No, maybe “expecting” isn't the right word. Maybe it's more like... hoping. But if she didn't want me to ask for whatever she had in mind, then why does she look so disappointed now?

"…Alice?" I called out, trying to read her expression.

She didn't respond, taking a slow sip from her coffee while deliberately looking away.

"Hey, come on. You know I can't ask for much."

"And why not?" she said, finally turning toward me. Her eyes were narrowed, her lips slightly pursed. That look of irritation caught me off guard more than I'd like to admit.

I shrugged. "Well… you're a goddess, aren't you? There's no way I can just casually ask for something big."

"Tch. Goddess this, goddess that—when are you ever going to look at me as something other than a goddess?"

I blinked. "Something other than a goddess? Like what?"

"Oh, I don't know…" She shifted her posture, pulling one leg up onto the bench and hugging it to her chest, resting her chin over her knee. Then, with an almost theatrical flourish, she tilted her head and gave me a sly, seductive smirk. "Maybe something like… a woman?"

Well, that wasn't... I mean, I... Hold on, what am I even trying to—no, pause. Wait, wait, wait. I got this.

"U-um..."

Yeah, who am I kidding right now? I don't got this at all.

Alice laughed—not the usual teasing giggle or the smug little chuckle she tosses out when she knows she's flustering me. No, this was different. This was a genuine laugh, light and warm and completely disarming.

For some reason, it absolutely wrecked my brain.

My lungs suddenly felt like someone had stuffed tissue paper inside them, and my heart skipped a beat before slamming back into a rhythm like it was trying to punch through my ribcage. Just for a second.

"Aikami," Alice said after her laughter finally died down. "Tell me something."

She took another sip of her coffee, then leaned in closer and bumped into my shoulder.

"If I wasn't a goddess… would you still look at me the same way?"

"U-um… I mean, I guess? I don't really look at you a certain way to begin with."

"Oh? That's rather disappointing. You mean to tell me you don't spend your sleepless nights dreaming about me?"

"D-dreaming about you?! Why would I do that?!"

"So you don't. Even more of a shame. At least there's a silver lining here. You're just giving me more reason to make it real."

I took a deep breath, but it did almost nothing. "What..."

Alice leaned in even closer, her voice dropping to a softer, more sultry tone. "I want you to see me for who I am, Aikami. Not as a goddess on some pedestal… but as a woman. A very real, very charming, and very available woman—but only to a certain someone."

I turned my head away, pretending to focus on a pigeon waddling across the plaza. "Y-you're... a lot to handle sometimes, Alice."

"I get that a lot. Look at you, trying so hard not to look at me." She leaned back with a victorious smirk. "You're adorable when you squirm."

"I'm not squirming..."

"You absolutely are. Your ears are pink."

"They're cold, that's all."

“Mhm~ Sure." She chuckled softly, clearly enjoying herself. "You know, if you keep putting this wall up between us, I might start thinking you're scared of me."

"Not scared," I said. "Just… cautious."

"Oh?” She tilted her head. “And what are you so cautious about?"

"You, mostly."

That made her smile even wider. "Good. That means I'm getting to you."

I took a sip of my coffee, trying to gather what few scraps of composure I had left. "You having fun with this game?"

"Fufu~ I told you, didn't I? This isn't a joke or a game. But that doesn't mean I can't have fun while I'm at it." Her voice softened again. "I just want you to stop putting that distance between us. You're always trying to keep things polite, safe, and easy. But I'm not just here to be some divine figure in your life. I'm here because I want to be. And not just as a goddess."

I hesitated.

"…So what are you saying?"

For a moment, she said nothing while keeping that gaze on me. Then, softly, she set her coffee down on the bench and leaned in closer.

"Aikami. Can I ask you something weird?"

I narrowed my eyes, immediately suspicious. "Define weird."

She smiled lightly. "Just… hold out your hand."

"…Why?"

"Just do it."

I hesitated but reluctantly held it out, palm open, fingers slightly curled from awkwardness.

Without a word, she reached out and placed her hand gently in mine. Her fingers were smooth and slightly cool from the weather, but somehow still warmer than I expected.

"There," she said quietly. "Now tell me what you feel."

I stared down at our hands.

"What kind of question is that?"

"An honest one," she said. "So? What do you feel?"

I didn't answer right away. Mostly because I didn't know how to answer.

Her hand was… soft. Slim. It fit into mine way too easily. My palm felt clammy. My chest was unsteady. My brain—hah. What brain? Cuz I'm not even sure if I have one anymore.

For some godforsaken reason, I was suddenly hyper-aware of every inch of contact between our skin.

It's just her hand. Just skin against skin. And yet... It made me feel something foreign—something I've never known.

"I… don't know," I muttered. "It's weird."

Alice tilted her head, eyes watching me carefully. "Does it make you uncomfortable?"

"N-not really. Just… unfamiliar."

She gave a small, almost satisfied nod. "Good."

"Good?"

"It means you're not numb. You feel things, even if you don't always notice it. Even if you try not to."

I glanced down again at our hands. My grip had tightened without me realizing it, but she didn't seem to mind.

"You've never held hands before, have you?"

"…No," I replied.

"Well..." she whispered, giving my hand a light squeeze, "First times are always the most memorable."

I looked away again, my face burning hotter now. "You really know how to mess with people, don't you?"

"Maybe a little, but not this time, darling. I just want you to remember me in ways that matter."

I didn't say anything back, mostly because I couldn't find the right words.

Instead, we just sat there quietly, her hand still resting in mine as she leaned her head against my arm. The cool breeze brushed past us, but her presence was warm. For someone who always carried herself like a goddess, Alice felt so... human in that moment. So close... to me.

And I just sat there, letting it happen. Somewhere along the way, I found it harder and harder to push her away despite her intrusive tendencies.

"By the way, Aikami", Alice said softly, her voice pulling me out of my thoughts. "This coffee doesn't count as your favor. You still have your ticket, but this is the last chance I'm giving you. Maybe think about it a bit more, hmm? And also…"

She gently pulled herself upright and let go of my hand, yet the warmth had stayed.

Then, with a small twirl, she stepped in front of me, her long hair flowing behind her like silk caught in the wind. She turned around and faced me again, tilting her head back with a gleeful smile.

"Next time… I'm expecting you to be a little bit more selfish."