A New Type of Incantation

I met the professors in the gymnasium again, this time with Zhāng. It was incredibly exciting. I had a deep feeling that that would be the day I learned how to perform magical incantations. With such a long list of cultural exports from the United States, one of them surely had to work.

“Cutting class?”

“Of course, seeing a new type of magic casting isn’t just something that happens every day.”

“Fair enough. I’ll write you a note.”

“Thanks!”

“Grayson, I have something that may help you to cast magic.”

“Oh- what’s this?”

“It’s a wand. Many cultures use different items to aid in casting magic. After doing some research on American illusionists, we have found that a wand in this image is thoroughly tied to American magic.”

Indeed it was. The image of the wand was quite stereotypical, a small black rod with white tips. However, there was something different about this wand compared to your typical dollar store fare. It was weighty and made of metal. When I held it, I could almost already feel magical energy being channeled through it. In essence, it just felt right.

“How does this wand look and feel to you?”

“This wand? It’s pretty universally recognized in America. Although not many perform magic, anyone from America would call this a magic wand.”

“How does it feel, though?”

“I don’t know, ask its therapist.”

There was a moment of silence, which, while imperceptible to passers by, felt much longer than it actually was. To be honest, I wish I could cut this part out, too. Unfortunately, it feels like the author wants me to suffer. The joke just didn’t land with Fyodor Dostoyevsky, acclaimed and awarded 18th century writer of Crime and Punishment. While I didn’t show it, on the inside, I shriveled.

“That was a joke. The wand feels good. Natural, even.”

“Ah, good. Now let’s try some of those ideas on the list.”

“Yes. First, there are several which I would not feel comfortable with for similar reasons as to yesterday. So until we try all the others, let’s not do the blues or gospel-style music. I respect them too much to attempt them.”

“I see.”

“Also, I highly doubt that ‘scat singing’ spells is going to work and I’ve never heard of ‘zydeco’.”

“From what we’ve read, zydeco is under the umbrella of ‘the blues’, it just also has an accordion.”

“What?!- Sorry, I’m just intrigued. We’ll skip that one, too, but I really want to know what that sounds like.”

So we started trying stuff. A lot of stuff. First, it was fireside poems in the styles of Frost and Whitman. Then, it was delivering the spells with a narrative in the cadence of a radio announcer like “The War of the Worlds”. Then, it was slam poetry. Then, Pop music- let’s cut out the part where I was using the wand as a microphone. When I tried country and western music, Dr. Fernandez helped me out with the guitar accompaniment. Nothing was working, and I was looking rather silly in front of Zhāng, the first person my age who I could consider a friend here.

And then it hit me.

I turned toward one of the targets and raised my wand.

“Can I get uhhh fireball?”

Suddenly, I heard a voice in my head that sounded like it was coming out of a low-quality speaker.

“Sure thing, want anything else with that?”

“That’ll be all, thanks.”

“That’ll be 20 mana, coming right up!”

And just like that, a fireball launched from the end of my wand toward the target. It wasn’t very powerful, and it certainly wasn’t a direct hit, but it worked. But why? Why does it have to be like this? Why do I have to order my spells like fast food items? Is the culture of my country nothing more than a punchline? I didn’t have time to think that deeply about it; at the moment I was ecstatic.

“I did it! Did you guys see that shit?! I cast a spell!”

“Indeed. What was the method that worked?”

“None of them on the paper, actually. I just ordered the magic like I’d order food at a drive-through.”

“At a what?”

Dr. Dostyevsky looked at me like I was from outer space, his jaw ajar. Dr. Fernandez and Dr. Suzuki both turned to me, ripped away from their state of distraction.

“You cast magic… like you’re ordering food?”

“Uh… yeah?”

Zhāng started laughing.

“That’s… incredible. I’ve never heard of anything like that!”

Zhāng, doubling over, struggled to form coherent words.

“Of- of course, that would be the American way! HAHAHAHA!”

“Okay, try to do it again, but cast something else this time. How about a fire beam for scale?”

I sighed. As I got ready to cast, I realized I wanted to try something else.

“Alright… Can I get uhhh fire beam?”

The voice came back. It was bright and a little bit high-pitched, but it still seemed male. It was almost like the voice was happy that I was ordering magic.

“Certainly. Anything else?”

“Can I add a spray of fire to that?”

“Sure thing! Anything else?”

“Could I get some fire resistance to that?”

“Of course! Anything else?”

“That’ll be all, thanks.”

“Thanks, that’ll be 50 mana. Coming right uuuup!”

A small beam of pure heat energy was cast alongside a spray of fire. Fortunately, the heat wasn’t too much for me to bear because I asked for fire resistance.

“What- what was that?”

Dr. Suzuki looked at me, puzzled.

“I added on to my magic order.”

“Magic order?”

“Yeah, there’s this voice in my head when I cast that keeps asking if I want anything else. It’s a little strange, to be honest.”

Dr. Dostoyevsky’s mouth stretched even closer to the floor. While somewhat confounded, Dr. Suzuki immediately jumped on the opportunity to learn about this new form of casting.

“Can you ask it to make a fireball bigger? What happens if you ask for multiple of the same spell?”

“I’ll give it a try, I guess.”

Once again, I faced the now-nearly-obliterated target.

“Can I get an extra large fireball?”

“Sure thing, anything else?”

“How about a small fireball?”

“Would you like that together or separate?”

I paused. What would be more interesting?

“Uhh, separate, please.”

“Anything else?”

“That’ll be all.”

“That’ll be 40 mana, coming right up!”

Two fireballs escaped from the wand with a two-second gap between them. The first one was around the size of a bowling ball, and the second was closer to that of a baseball. Their sizes were significantly different from the first fireball I cast earlier. As the first one landed on the target, it spread to cover it in a blaze. The second one, however, exploded on impact. I could immediately tell that the size of the spell fundamentally affected how the spell worked.

“The guy asked if I wanted them together or separate, so I just picked separate. I guess I’ll try together this time.”

“Of course.”

Dr. Suzuki was already taking notes as Dr. Fernandez cheered and Dr. Dostoyevsky stood in awe. The two fireballs I ordered this time shot out around one-fifth of a second apart. I started to feel a little bit tired, but not in a normal way. It was somewhere in between a runner’s high and sluggish lethargy.

“Hey, I don’t know how much more I can do this right now.”

“Oh- of course! It’s your first time casting, so you don’t have a lot of mana to use.”

“Will I be able to cast more in the future?”

“Definitely! While we can’t tell you what your maximum mana will be, it’s going to be a lot higher than right now.”

“Okay, good.”

“Well, what should I do now?”

“We can get you some new clothes.”

“Oh- yeah.”

So off I went with Zhāng and the professors to get new clothes. We got some at the Academy store for free with the professors’ discount. The clothes certainly weren’t modern, but they fit in better with the rest of the people here. My other main thought was, of course, making money to pay for magic school.

“The tuition isn’t that high because we, the professors, are paid by the state. So basically, you’re only paying for housing and food.”

“Are books expensive?”

“Not really. While they don’t have printing presses, we can make a duplicate of a book with a simple spell.”

“Okay, now we’re getting somewhere. How do students normally earn money while going to class?”

“The two biggest options are working for the Academy or joining a guild.”

“Wouldn’t guild work take a lot of time?”

“Some of the quests last for days, but others, especially the easier ones that newbies like you should be doing, only last a few hours. And most of that’s travel time.”

“That sounds doable.”

“Of course, which way do you think you will want to go?”

"I think I'll do the guild option-"

"Of course you would."

"-but I want to see what the Academy has to offer, too, of course."

Dr. Suzuki finished writing in her notebook and adjusted her glasses.

"You didn't see it, but I measured the intensity of your spells and your mana drain. This is incredible, it's the first F-rank incantation style ever!"

"What, F-rank?!"

"Relax, it's not a bad thing. The rank only measures power, not what you can do with it. Your casting is incredibly versatile and you will be able to use more spells than anyone else on the battlefield."

"So, F-rank isn't the worst?"

"Again, it only is in terms of power- think about how many spells you just fired off! When I got here, I could only use 3 at one time."

While it was embarrassing to be in a class that's positioned as 'the worst', I was listening to Dr. Suzuki, and it seemed like a pretty good problem to have. All I needed to do was to learn how to turn this into an advantage. In a way, though, it made sense to me; the ability to use lots of spells very quickly seemed like a 'fast food' approach to magic. We continued debating over whether or not F-rank was a bad thing as we began walking around the university to check out different job options.