From the Depths of Dreams

Light filtered into the tent cold and blue. Everything felt stale and void of any material presence. Several small flowers lay in a pile by his pillow. Already they were wilting. As Hazuki lay beside them, he felt a hope in his chest that Naoe would appear at any moment to reclaim them and return to lying beside him. Hours passed and she did not return. In his heart, Hazuki felt as though he could sense that she was in fact gone for the rest of the year, back to her slumber. Wherever she was, it was not with him, and it would not be for another ten months or so.

Crushing weights hung from inside his body like sandbags tied to beams that were pulling him in on himself as he forced himself up to eat. Moments echoed in a drone within his mind as the following days flowed together in a lost haze. Without Naoe’s presence tethering him to a scheduled reality, Hazuki’s mind began to recede into the void that he had existed within for years up to that point. Rattling the remaining pills within his medication bottle, Hazuki realized he had not been consistently taking them while Naoe had been there. Existing with her near had brought him a clarity he had long forgotten, but now it was waning and he had to regain himself.

After a moment of debate and noticing the never-ending pain in his leg was more pronounced than he remembered, Hazuki swallowed a single pink pill with a sip of water in hope that the flood of chemicals in his brain would recede. Sleepwalking through the next few months felt preferable to raw awareness. At least for the time being.

Sleep became restless and Hazuki couldn’t tell if it was depression and longing for Naoe that caused her to appear in his dreams each night, or if it was a result of their time that had been shared. Nearly every night, his dreams would reveal glimpses of Naoe, balled into a fetal position and wrapped in pulsing brown bindings. The imagery would only flash in his mind for a moment then would vanish, but it was as vivid as a clear day sight. Even more vivid was the draining, heavy pain that radiated through Hazuki’s body and mind with such force that he felt it burning into his essence even after he woke.

It was an exhaustion he had never experienced, and he found himself dreading going to sleep, save for the potential of catching a glimpse of Naoe. One night, Hazuki saw her lying there in the darkness and for the first time, he noticed the thousands of roots branching out from her skin in tiny little threads that spanned into the dark and faded out of sight. Several of the roots seemed dried and dead. Hazuki heard a sound of snapping and Naoe let out a whimper. Then he woke to a fatigue that forced him to lay unmoving for nearly two full days.

“What is happening?” he groaned to himself.

Only a single pill remained in his bottle now. Hazuki had forgotten to go to his clinic and refill his prescription. Looking at the isolated pink capsule, he set his mind to replenish his support the next day. Only, he did not realize the next day was the weekend and he would not be able to get a sign-off to refill his order. Thus, to his dismay, he was left alone to face the next two nights sober and unbalanced. Sleep approached like a thief. Darkness overtook Hazuki and greeted him with a roar of noise and color. Fits and tremors shook his body as the memories of hands grabbing him in the dark pumped into his subconscious.

Please no. Fists pummelled him in his sleep. Please no. Hands held his body down as blows struck his stomach and leg. Please stop. Scissors cut his hair and sliced his scalp. Please stop.

Screams built like an approaching bullet train and the sound was deafening. Please I don’t want this anymore. Hazuki was there watching himself be abused and humiliated. You have to help yourself. 

Please help I don’t want this anymore. 

Ididn'twantthis.

iDON'TWANTTOBEALONEPLEASE.

Itwasn’tsupposedtobelikethis. 

Please anyone help me!

Hazuki could not bear it anymore and lept forward to clasp his younger self's hand but it was pulled away.

Hazuki watched his younger body fall through the mattress in freefall as the abyss below opened up and swallowed them both. Hazuki’s form fell faster than his younger self and soon they blurred together into one form. Down they fell for what felt like hours and seconds at once. Snapping branches echoed around him as he fell and the sensation of Naoe being near returned to soften the terror pulsing through his body. Only this time the sensation carried a sense of dread. Now it was mixed with the unbearable fatigue that Hazuki had desperately wanted to avoid.

As he fell, roots burst from the darkness around him and began to ensnare his arms and legs, slowing his descent like support cables. Down below him, a faint light appeared and there was Naoe, still in the fetal position and still enveloped in a brown casing. As the roots lowered Hazuki closer to her, he saw that she was grimacing in pain. Energy and lifeforce seemed to pulse from her body and out into the roots. It was then that Hazuki realized that the roots weren’t coming from Naoe, they were burrowing into her and draining her.

This realization seemed to be noticed by some unseen force, and Hazuki suddenly found himself feeling as though he was being watched. In an instant, dozens of roots pulled themselves from Naoe’s body and turned towards Hazuki. As the roots slowly rose to him like dozens of grasping hands from his nightmares, Hazuki felt a rush of horror. Naoe let out a whimpering cry down below.

“Naoe! Naoe wake up!” yelled out Hazuki as he fought his bindings.

Hazuki’s words reached Naoe and she opened her eyes in shock then glanced up at him. Her groggy eyes adjusted and she saw the roots reaching for Hazuki. He saw her look at him with a haunting look of pure terror.

“No!!” she screamed out, and all went white.

Hazuki awoke in a puddle of sweat as tears ran down his drenched cheeks.

“Naoe? Naoe what is happening to you?” he asked the darkness as he lay there alone.