Chapter 6: The Weight of Choice
[Hayate Kurogane]
Life goes on, and no matter how much I tried to ignore it, Aoi’s presence began to make more of a difference than I had imagined. During the project, she was always there, with her creative ideas and her excitement that, as annoying as it was at times, had something that made me want to follow along.
I still felt uncomfortable, but at the same time, I felt... more alive. I didn’t know what was happening to me, but every time Aoi spoke, I began to realize that my life didn’t have to be just shadows. There was something full of color and life—something I hadn’t seen before. And that bothered me.
She wouldn’t stop talking about the project, suggesting new ideas and alternatives, always trying to get me more involved. I didn’t know if she was doing it for me or if she truly wanted to help me get out of the hole I had buried myself in.
— So, Hayate, how about we try something more interactive for the presentation? — she asked, her eyes shining with excitement.
I looked at her for a second, thinking. Sometimes, it felt like all she wanted was to connect, but I... I just wanted things to go on without big changes.
— I don’t know. That sounds too complicated. — My response was a bit harsher than I intended, but I didn’t know how to handle this.
Aoi didn’t let it faze her. She just smiled and started flipping through the papers.
— That’s okay, you don’t have to decide everything now. Let’s just do it in a way that’s easiest for you. But... I’ll need you, Hayate. I can’t do this alone.
Her words lingered in the air. I knew she was counting on me, and I felt that, in some way, I was starting to count on her too. The problem was that I didn’t know how to deal with that kind of reliance.
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[Aoi Tachibana]
That week was harder than I expected. Not because the project was complicated or because I was worried about our presentation, but because I felt something forming between Hayate and me. I couldn’t quite define it, but there was a growing connection, and that made me anxious. I didn’t know how he was handling it. He always seemed so closed off, so distant, as if his entire world was in black and white.
I just wanted to show him that there was more than silence and loneliness. That he could be more than that, that he could experience the colors of life. But he was still so deeply immersed in his own sorrow.
I watched him for a moment as he looked at the project papers, trying to focus. I knew he had trouble opening up, but at the same time, it felt like he was unconsciously pushing me away.
— Hayate, I know you don’t like working in groups, but do you have any ideas on how we can make the presentation more interesting? — I asked, trying to keep the conversation light but also sincere.
He sighed, looking at me with a tired expression.
— Aoi... I know you want this to work, but I don’t know if I can do it the way you’re imagining. I’m not good at these things.
I moved a little closer, sitting beside him, unsure of what to say. I wanted to find the right words to let him know that it was okay, that he didn’t have to be perfect, that I just wanted to be by his side.
— I don’t want you to be perfect, Hayate. I just want us to do this together. It doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect. What matters is that we’re trying, that we’re in this together.
There was a silence between us after my words, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable one. It was something more... peaceful. I didn’t know if he understood, but for some reason, that silence gave me hope.
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[Hayate Kurogane]
I didn’t know what she wanted from me. Aoi spoke so genuinely, as if it were easy to believe in her words. But the truth was, for me, nothing ever seemed easy. Nothing was ever simple, and I had never known how to deal with that.
— I don’t know if I can, Aoi. I don’t know how... — I said, frustration beginning to build in my chest.
She looked at me with those bright eyes, as if she were trying to understand everything I was feeling, as if she were trying to see beyond what I wanted to show. I couldn’t understand why she cared so much.
— You don’t need to know everything, Hayate. You just need to try. Sometimes, the hardest things are the ones that teach us the most.
I looked at her, trying to grasp what she meant. I knew there was something there, something I couldn’t describe. She wasn’t like the others. She wasn’t trying to change me or make me into someone I wasn’t. She just wanted me to be there. By her side.
And at that moment, for the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel as afraid to open up. I didn’t know how this would happen, but I was willing to try.
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[Aoi Tachibana]
I knew it wouldn’t be easy. Not with Hayate. He was full of walls, full of scars. But little by little, I knew he was starting to trust me, even if just a little. And that was enough for me. I just needed a chance to show him that he didn’t have to carry everything alone.
And maybe, in the end, he would realize that he didn’t have to live in a black-and-white world. I was here to show him that there was an infinite range of colors waiting for him.
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End of Chapter 6
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