Bittersweet Beatdown / Mesa’s Impotence

The next day I resumed my patrols as if nothing had happened. I would meet Moonlight Guardian before heading off, and at the end of the day, we had our sparring sessions. On the surface, everything was the same. But beneath, things were different now. I now saw Moonlight Guardian as the fallible creature she was, possessing both strengths and weaknesses but more importantly, emotions. But instead of diminishing my image of her, it only heightened it. She was now someone I could have a real connection with.

She must have felt the same because she began to open up. Before she would always hide her emotions, but now she would let me see what was on her mind and how she felt. Don't get me wrong, she was still stoic by any measure, but that was more a discipline. I could feel there was a warmth there that was absent before.

Then, after about a week after training had resumed...

"Indigo, I want you to show me that 'wraith blade,’” Moonlight Guardian instructed. Naturally, I was a bit hesitant after what happened last time. In truth, I hadn't manifested it once since that day; I had probably subconsciously associated it with Moonlight Guardian's hostility. "It's okay Indigo. I'm not going to 'test' it." Was that a playful jab? I smiled, it was nice knowing that it was just water under the bridge for both of us, and our relationship was all the stronger for it.

I conjured up the sword and held it in front as I had last time.

"Can you swing with all the angles of attack?" she asked.

That was easy enough, I traced out all the basic strikes. She then had me perform the standard blocks and parries. This was all straightforward.

"Okay, now can you execute the forms I taught you?"

She had shown several different forms. The purpose of these forms was to get a feel for how these attacks might flow. I was able to perform these flows with some difficulty, as the wraith blade required a sizable chunk of my cognitive resources.

"Very good, I have just one more question for you. Can you make it blunt?"

I looked at her and she truly seemed to be unsure of the answer. "Yes, that would actually be easier than making it sharp."

I would think it obvious, it wasn't like a magic spell where what you got, was what you got.

"Good, then from now on when we spar, you will only use your 'wraith blade.'"

"What!?"

She had said that so casually.

"But my performance will suffer immensely!"

"That doesn't matter. Being able to use this 'wraith blade' will be a huge advantage. You will always be armed."

That was true, but...

"And, you have demonstrated that you can change its shape, so it can be adapted as needed."

"Yeah, but..."

"You did intend to use this in combat, didn't you?" she said, hand resting on her hip.

"Yes, but I'm not ready yet!" I said firmly.

"How will you ever be ready if you don't practice?"

"I will practice! I'll just start by doing those forms..."

"Yes, but that is the easy path," she countered, and with a chuckle, added, "Heh, since when have we taken the easy path?"

There was nothing to say to that. I was glad she would laugh now, but sometimes it irked me.

So we had our daily sparring session, with the wraith blade, and I got beaten to within an inch of my life. Okay, maybe I'm being a little hyperbolic, but I was certainly hurting. Moonlight Guardian didn't amp up her sparring, but neither did she tone it down. It was the same pace as before, with the wooden sword. Sure I was doing better than when we first started sparring and I got "bopped" as if by magic; I could still track her attacks and occasionally defend them, but my reaction time was slow, and every time I got hit, I lost concentration and the sword fell to pieces.

"That's no good Indigo, you need to maintain the sword, even if you are in distress," Moonlight Guardian said about halfway into our session after I had just been knocked flat.

"Haa... Haa..." I took my time getting up to catch my breath. "...Don't you think you are asking a lot of me?"

Another indicator of my increased comfort around her was that I now felt safe enough to complain.

"Yes."

Her wooden sword sat couched on her shoulder as she watched me get back up. That wasn't fair... The way she casually waited for me to get back up, I knew she did think she was asking a lot, but she also thought I could handle it. I couldn't say anything to this, her one word was a show of her confidence in me.

By the time we had finished, it was all I could do to just lay there and stare at the lower canopy. "Could we perhaps go a little softer tomorrow?"

"You have the skill to handle this, you just need to learn to handle your 'wraith blade' as second nature," she said.

I didn't have the wherewithal to make idle conversation, so I just remained spread eagle on the ground.

Footsteps approached and Moonlight Guardian knelt down beside me and stroked my head. "I know it's hard, but this will help you grow faster."

This pattern would repeat for some time, at least it seemed like it did. Every day I would get my ass whooped, and end up sprawled out on the ground, an injured mess. Sure, any individual blow taken wasn't too big of a deal, just like a single bee sting isn't usually a big deal—unless you are allergic—but if the entire hive stung you, well now you have a problem. There was one silver lining to this, however. Afterward, Moonlight Guardian would personally tend to my injuries. She used that quick recovery ointment and massaged it in, just like when I had collapsed from running the timed route.

"Yeah, right on the side of the ribs there, AH! AH...! Ahh..."

That fungal cream was amazing. I would have to find time to track down some more; I don't think I could survive these sparring sessions without it.

Moonlight Guardian's tender post-thrashing treatment almost made the whole thing worth it. Almost. But that was changing. As time wore on, I found I could defend more strikes before one landed, and I could hold the wraith blade together more often. In fact, a part of me was worried that I might progress to the point where I wasn't a sparring casualty and I would have to fake it to get the same special attention... I might be an addict.

While on patrol, the shrine of the God of Clear Skies, or Deiter as he is called by the vocal world, is a great place to slack off—I mean, survey the surrounding area for threats, great vantage point.

"You really seem to have bounced back," Dawn said as I looked over the trees to the distant mountains. "I take it you patched things up with Moonlight Guardian?"

"W-What? Whoever said things were wrong between Moonlight Guardian and me?" I scratched an ear.

She leaned her head forward. "Indigo, it was obvious."

"Was it... hehe," I replied, my hands were fidgeting as she gave me a look that demanded an answer. "Yes, things are good now."

"What happened anyway?" This seemed to be her real question, I guess it was only natural that she would want to know.

"Well... I don't really want to talk about it. It's kind of... private."

I didn't want to besmirch my mentor's image. She had worked hard to cultivate that image, and it was her choice if she wanted to change it. Though it did seem that she had softened her demeanor in general lately.

"Private? That only makes me want to know more." she said, rubbing her chin. "Surely you can give me something?"

"I didn't know you were such a gossip."

"It's not gossip if it's straight from the source!"

"Well, I'll just say I got to see another side of Moonlight Guardian."

"Indigo... That doesn't satisfy my curiosity at all! It only makes me more curious!" she said and ran a hand through her hair.

"Sorry..." I said, deciding I needed to redirect the conversation. "But how about you? I haven't seen you much since you started your apprenticeship under Hailstone Priest."

Dawn had recently started preparing for her sojourn by apprenticing under Hailstone Priest in order to have some "marketable skills" so to speak. "It is only a temporary apprenticeship, just learning the basics."

"Have you gotten more information about doing this sojourn?"

Dawn cast me a side-eye. "Well, maybe... But it's private."

I returned the stare. "...I didn't know you were so petty."

"I'm not petty!" she shouted, apparently offended by the remark.

"But you are clearly holding out because I don't want to talk about what happened between Moonlight Guardian and me."

"Isn't that only fair?" she said, adopting her haughty hands on hips stance. "Why should I tell you what's going on with me when you won't do the same?"

"It's not about me. It's about Moonlight Guardian. I don't want to talk about her behind her back."

It was also true that it was kind of embarrassing for me but that wasn't the main reason.

Dawn crossed her arms and looked away. "Fine! Maybe I'll just ask Moonlight Guardian then!"

She was really upset about this.

I put my hand up and tried to pacify her. "If Moonlight Guardian is okay talking about it, I won't protest."

She softened just a little but still wasn't facing me. "You know... I was actually worried about you."

Oof, dagger straight to the heart—why are women so good at that?

"Well... She did give me this mask," I said, getting her ear to twitch. "She even got Midsummer Maskcrafter to make it."

"Really??" Dawn exclaimed, and just like that her curiosity was renewed. "Why would she go through the trouble to get him to make it?"

"Umm... Because I needed one?"

I don't know why I phrased it as a question, maybe I was hoping that would end her line of inquiry.

"Wait..."

Dawn was not a stupid girl. "Did Moonlight Guardian have something to do with what happened to your other mask?"

"Well, really need to be getting back to work now, slacked off enough." I said, turning to make a hasty retreat, but Dawn grabbed my shoulder.

"Sorry, Indigo... I really shouldn't have pried," she said, gaze lowering. "I might be a little too nosy for my own good."

"No..." I turned around. "It's only natural to want to know about your friends."

She looked back up at me a moment before looking away sheepishly. "...So Hailstone Priest says..."

She then proceeded to fill me in on her sojourn preparations. According to Hailstone Priest, she would be welcomed at her destination with the basics she was learning. Apparently, "Priest" was not a popular role to fill, as evidenced by our own priest being a sojourner. Basically, the only thing that still needed to be sorted out was how to get there. It wasn't exactly a local tribe and was a significant distance away—on the other side of the Raincaster region in fact.

"I guess you don't plan on seeing anyone ever again," I said.

Perhaps I should have refrained from bringing up such a mood-killing topic, but such is my way.

"Yeah..." she returned, eyes drifting down to her hands. "But I'll see you right?"

This thought seemed to cheer her up.

"...Why would you say that? You still aren't holding out hope that I will go on this sojourn with you?"

Dawn had proposed this before. "Maybe..."

She fidgeted with her hands behind her back. "But even if not, you are the God of Clear Skies' Chosen! I'm sure you will get around."

I ran my hand across my head just above the mask. That's it. I'm done. I'm not even going to address this "cult" anymore. Fanatics are going to be fanatics.

Dawn's countenance turned serious and looking both ways she Whispered, "By the way, Hailstone Priest has an interest in Lilac Governess."

Well, I had long suspected this, but it seemed like Dawn had somehow confirmed it. I doubted she had asked him directly... but then again, maybe she had.

"And I'm pretty sure the feeling is mutual," she added.

Lilac Governess did seem to hang around here a lot, though her role mostly kept her occupied. I was still pretty sure there was a large age gap though, but that was just speculation.

"So I was thinking, maybe you could work some of your magic and make it happen between those two. They both seem... hesitant to make the first move."

"Wait! Why me!?"

Since when did I become Cupid's henchman?

"Well…" she said, splaying a hand. "You did help Morning-Sun Hunter and Mesa, and this seems easier than that."

"Why don't you intervene then?"

"I'm his apprentice, it's not my place."

Convenient.

___________________________________________________________

My relationship with Mesa had begun to improve and was almost what you might call friendly. Seemed you could only hold a baseless grudge against someone for so long before it was just too much effort to maintain. I guess it wasn't too baseless at first, but it wasn't like he was getting short-changed. It was probably obvious by now that I had no interest in becoming an Elder, so that seat was wide open for him when Snowcap Elder retired... or died. I wasn't too sure how that kind of thing worked around here. From what I've seen, most people would work their entire lives but would slow down with old age and contribute what they could. With an Elder it was different; the village needed the Eldering that it needed, not that its current official worked too hard, perhaps that is why he took on two apprentices, to pick up his slack.

This latter point may have been another thing that led to friendlier relations between Mesa and me. We collaborated on getting everything done that the Elder seemed to have no problem putting off. It was amazing what the Elder felt comfortable ignoring: Bed bug infestations, a shortage of cooking pots, numerous faulty stairs to the shrine—to say nothing of the shotty platform boards—and we had lost a sky shitter—fell off while someone was dropping a deuce, good thing he knew how to fly.

This latter item inspired me to propose that we institute a life skills program. The idea was to teach universally applicable uses of fox magic, such as flying. The Elder, as open-minded as he was, resisted this idea. Apparently, it broke the apprenticeship paradigm. I explained that it would be like an extended Kite's Klub (TM pending). However, this tradition was harder to kill than a slasher franchise on its 13th iteration. Mesa too was resistant, but not because of tradition—he seemed to think as little of them as I did. As it would turn out, he was rather... incompetent with fox magic.

Of course, this wasn't his stated reason for rejecting my proposal, he had said something about difficulties in adoption, which was fair enough, but he still opposed a pilot program that I volunteered to personally instruct, and he was uncomfortable when I asked why he was in opposition. Needless to say, the proposal was shot down, but I started to notice that Mesa himself didn't make much use of fox magic or any for that matter.

What was typical for Yutsuukitsuu was to use fox magic as another set of hands, often using them interchangeably, they might stir a pot with their hand just as readily as they stirred with fox magic. Of course, there were preferences between individuals, but it was rare to find someone exclusively one or the other. Mesa was one of those rare individuals.

What really gave away his ineptitude though was his use of conventional means when fox magic would have clearly been the easier option, reaching things on high shelves for instance. I actually saw him climb up a bookshelf to grab an upper volume.

"I didn't know you liked climbing that much, Mesa," I said.

In truth, I could see the simple pleasure in conquering an obstacle in this way.

"Don't be ridiculous. I'm not a child," he said, insulted.

I felt a little put off by his dismissal. "Oh... Why didn't you just use fox magic then?"

His body tensed like I had just called him out on a crime he had committed.

"I-It's... Crude," he stuttered.

Crude? I would think it less crude than using your hands but to each his own. Still...

"More crude than climbing up a bookshelf?"

"Yes, well..."

He crossed his arms and looked away. He was clearly hiding something, and I had a sneaking suspicion I knew what.

"Mesa... are you... incapable of using fox magic?" I said, trying to be tactful, but asking sensitive questions was never my strong suit.

"Of course, I can use fox magic!"

Yeah, I guess he would be insulted. To prove himself, he held the book he had just fetched with fox magic.

"Oh, I guess you can... Sorry." I apologized, scratching the back of my head, while my apologetic smile was hidden behind the mask. "I still find it..."

It was then that I noticed. "Is that book... wobbling?

"No," he retorted, snatching the book out of the air. "Now if you don't mind..."

I eyed him suspiciously. "Are you actually inept at using fox magic?"

He turned and gave me the side eye.

"There is nothing wrong with that. I know several people who are rather clumsy with it."

Dawn for instance was one of them, but even she looked like a smooth operator compared to what I'd just seen from Mesa, but I wasn't going to tell him that.

"...Indigo, this really is none of your business."

Well, that was as good as an admission.

"I could help you."

He once again turned back, looking incredulous.

"I'm pretty good with fox magic."

I could practically feel the scowl forming underneath his mask.

"But if you find it demeaning to get coaching from your junior, then I understand."

"Fine then, Indigo." Mesa said, crossing his arms. "Let's see what you have to offer."

It seemed a little reverse psychology was all it took, and true to his commitment, Mesa took it seriously. I'm not exactly sure why I was so eager to assist. It was true, I did take some interest in explaining things to others, but this wasn't really explaining as much as coaching. It could be that I felt a desire to help my coworker improve himself, we were a team of sorts. If you were cynical, you might say that by helping him, I would show him the error in his thinking and he would reconsider my proposal.

Now some of you might be thinking, "Hey, isn't this the kind of thing you need to apprentice for?" And you would be right. However, since we were both fellow apprentices under Snowcap Elder, it was perfectly acceptable for us to share learnings with each other. This was actually common practice for mentors who took multiple apprentices, saving them from having to re-explain things. What we were doing wasn't exactly that, but I would take a loophole when I could get one. Plus, Mesa wasn't too keen on the apprenticeship model to begin with.

"Damn!" Mesa shouted as a cylindrical piece of wood shot off.

He had to wander off to fetch it—his range still wasn't very far. He was currently working on using a fireboard and spindle. A little tricky, but almost everyone could do it, with a handful of exceptions. He came back and set the board back on top of the table. We had brought one outside for just this purpose—Mesa did not sit on floors outside and doing it indoors threatened the Elder's relics.

"The secret to getting the spindle to spin fast is not to focus on spinning the spindle, you need to think SPIN!" I said, helpfully?

Mesa had made some good progress since I started coaching him. In the beginning, he was uncomfortable sliding a teacup across the table for fear that he might knock it over or break it. He was now capable of smooth movement of objects and had even learned how to manipulate two items at once!

The fireboard started to spin along with the spindle. "What do you mean SPIN?"

"Well... You need to think more generally. Not the object but the space containing the object."

He tried again and... snapped the spindle. Maybe I'm just a bad teacher. Despite Mesa's progress, I had mostly just encouraged him. He already knew how to do most things, he just needed practice. I suppose I applied a kind of obligation to him, but when it came to something new, well... you have just seen the result. Still, despite his current frustration, he was pleased with his progress.

With all the time we were spending together, you would think that I would get to know Mesa better, but this could not be further from the truth. Sure he would usually give me some answer to my inquiries, but at best he would only offer the equivalent of an abstract from an academic paper, at worst, a headline with the rest hidden behind a paywall. Whatever currency was required to access, I was flat broke.

"Hey Mesa, Why do you wear those fancy clothes?"

"It's what I'm used to."

"Yeah, but whyyy??"

"You have to get used to wearing something."

"But where did you even get those kinds of clothes?"

"Human traders."

"Why would you even trade for those? Did your tribe not make their own clothes?"

"...We made our own clothes. Do you have something against trading?"

This was an abstract.

"Did you study to be an Elder before coming here?"

"Yes."

"...Could you elaborate?"

"What is there to elaborate?"

"Well, did you leave before you were finished?"

"...Obviously."

"Why did you decide to sojourn?"

"..."

A headline.

I'm sure he was going out of his way to be as vague as possible. He seemed uncomfortable about answering questions about his past. Eventually, I figured I shouldn't pry. It could be that he sojourned to escape some kind of turmoil back home. I know from experience that you might feel uncomfortable talking about such things. I spent my entire adolescence never even confronting my family issues myself. These things would come out on their own when they were ready.