Chapter Five: The Blonde Bandit

Another day of nothing to do. I wanted to live a carefree life but didn't know it would be so boring. My shopping trip ended up with me fighting a magical girl. Not that I'm complaining, but after all, the fight was more fun than the shopping. Plus, I still don't even know what to spend money on. It's not like I have any hobbies or interests. All I have done for the past several months is work; even before that, I didn't do anything in school. No clubs, no social gatherings. Hell, I think I slept through most of my classes. Sleeping and eating are the only things I do, and it's not like I cook for myself. I wonder if the landlady will cook food for me. Yeah, that won't happen. I can already hear her yelling at me. "KURUMI!!" Yeah, just like that... wait? "KURUMI OPEN THE DOOR!!" *Bang* *Bang* Always so loud, I wonder how many noise complaints she gets.

I open the door. "Yes." "What's this!" "A piece of paper." She looks at me with pure anger. "LOOK AT WHAT'S ON THE PAPER!!!" She taps the paper as she yells. Looking at the paper, it says. "Meet me in the park at noon or else." It was made out of some clippings to make it look somewhat menacing. "What is this, and why was it on your door?!!" It was probably some bear foot magical girl, though I can't tell the landlady that. "A love letter?" "AND WHO WOULD BE WRITING A LOVE LETTER TO AN IDIOT LIKE YOU?!!" She seems mad for an entirely different reason. She took a deep breath and let out a sigh. "Look, just stay safe. Okay. Oh, and here." She shoved a bag into my hand and walked away. I look into the bag to see a bento box. Talk about a roller-coaster ride of emotions. One minute, she's angry, and the next, she's concerned. Whatever, I got free food out of it.

That food was so good. How the hell did she end up as a landlady when she could cook that well. My phone's clock says it's about noon. I probably should ignore the creepy message, but if it was that magical girl, then I could get some easy points out of it, and if it was some other creep, then I could just beat him up. I opened my storage and grabbed my bat just in case it was some other creep. After all, I'm not allowed to assault people, but if I'm not in my battle form and need to defend myself, then it shouldn't count. Well, at least that's the story I'm going with.

When I get down the stairs, I am greeted by the landlady again. "So you're going." Wow, is she concerned that I am going? "Don't worry, I have this." I point to the bat that was resting on my shoulder. "Yeah, now I'm worried for a different reason. Look, just stay safe out there. Okay." "Fine, but I can't guarantee the other person's safety." I started walking away, but she grabbed my arm. "I mean it. Stay safe!" "I will." She released my arm and walked into her apartment. What was her deal? I can't figure out that delinquent landlady.

I wonder what plan that shrine maiden has. The last two times I fought her, it ended with me beating her with one hit. Well, I guess she hit herself with her own attack the last time. Either way, fighting her is too easy. When I arrived at the park, I got a message that a magical girl was nearby and battle mode was starting. At least I know that a magical girl sent that letter and not some creep. "It's about time you showed up!" I looked at where the voice was coming from. A tall, blonde-haired girl with a cowboy hat, boots, a bandit mask, and some kind of poncho. She looks like someone out of an old western movie. I look at the clock, and it's only ten minutes past noon. "I'm only then minutes late." "I thought you people were always on time no matter what." You people? Oh, I get it. She is a foreigner. "Well, I am evil, so you lucky I even showed up at all."

"You got a point, but in the end, it won't matter. I'm finishing you off today!!" She threw her arm to the side, which moved the poncho to her side, revealing her short jeans, gun holsters, and a cowboy-looking vest. She then drew a revolver and pointed it at me. "Got any last words, evil one?" "Aren't guns illegal?" She gave a small chuckle. "So what? If you don't care about the law, then why should I? Plus, if I kill you, then you can't commit any more crimes. Not that it matters to a dead girl like you."

She didn't hesitate and shot at me. I'm lucky that I put points into speed. I almost didn't dodge the bullet as it cut the side of my face. Wait, what the hell is she aiming for my head? Is she actually trying to kill me? What kind of magical girl kills people? I run as fast as possible and jump into the tree line to get some cover. As I ran, she fired several shots at me, and they all almost hit me. Thank you past me for investing in speed! I hid behind a few trees, but it was almost pointless. That blonde bandit took out another revolver and was shooting both of them at me. This is why westerners never get isekaied. Guns are too overpowered. Maybe I can use my bat to hit a bullet back at her, like with the shrine maiden. I wind up my bat... but I hear a bunch of metallic banging sounds. I look over to my bat, and it's in pieces. MY BAT!! I returned to hiding behind the tree. What's up with this girl? Does she never have to reload?

Wait, she stopped shooting. Now's my chance to... I hear a loud thud right next to me that causes me to stop and look. Wait, is that a grande!!! I jump away as fast as I can, and one second later, it explodes, sending metal shrapnel everywhere. What the hell? She's even got grenades! Then she starts firing in my direction again. I continue to run as fast as I can. I can't keep up with this; I need to do something now! To hell with it. If I keep playing cat and mouse with her, she will eventually get me, so my only option is to charge her and beat her up with my strength. I charge her down while the bullets barely miss me, and then I leap toward her and punch her. She starts tumbling away but catches herself and stands back up. "I see. If that's how you want to play, then bring it on!" She twirls the revolvers around and holsters them. She then gestures to me to come over. Well, if she wants to fistfight, she's on. My strength will easily beat her. I charge her again, wind up my fist with all my strength, and hit... her... She dodged my fist and kneed me in the gut. A surge of pain hits me. Then she grabbed my arm and tossed me to the ground and twisted my arm behind my back, pining me to the ground.

Who is this girl? Some kind of super soldier? She dug her knee into my back, causing me to grunt in pain. What was her deal? I'm pretty sure she won at this point. She drew a large knife and stuck it into the ground in front of my face. "If I knew it would be this easy, then I wouldn't have wasted so much magic on you. So, got any last words evil one?" Crap, is she really going to kill me? All I did was hit one person with a bat, and that magical girl doesn't count. That was self-defense. Then, out of nowhere, a magical attack hits the blonde bandit off me. I looked over to where it came from, and standing there was the short shrine maiden. Why did she save me? The blonde bandit starts to get back up. Well, it's not time to think about it. I get up and run away as fast as I can.