Frank Sied

beep beep beep beep

          "Oh bugger! It's 5:20 already? But I was sure that I—"

          Oh yes, I forgot to set up my alarm last night. If not for this d**n manga I was reading.

          Yes yes, I'm nothing more but a semi shut-in average guy that you typically see everyday at school having an existential crisis because a lot of people are holding a weight to your shoulders expecting a lot of potential from you; a dilemma most people have as we grow. I know that those people that dropped those words upon me have no bad intentions or whatsoever, they just admire and care for me and would offer support  without a second thought to their abilities—the more reason why it is so cumbersome. Man! I just do hope that they don't free  such words into this dumb numbskull of a brain of mine.

         I got up on my bed and arranged my sheets as humanely as possible a normal human can attain. Took a bath and a food only for myself. I live with my Aunt at Quezon City; she provides me food, shelter, and even invested on my tuition for me to properly study Mechanical Engineering course on a somewhat promising school; a lot of engineering students go there. My parents and brother lives way back on my hometown on Labason, ZN, living a tedious yet happy life on the province. As I said, I am living with my tita yet I just selfishly made food only for my own consumption. "I mean, I really can't blame myself, I'm already late....", I justified to myself, but in reality, it's just one of the many scapegoats that I reason to free myself of realizing how stupendous ungrateful selfish elusive of a mutt that I am, and the like. Human as I am, I think it's only natural for such, right?

          It's a normal Wednesday as normal—normal can be, and I'm already late on my way to school for my morning lectures. I'm not that bright; an artistically talented; and have a philosopher like mind of a person, but when I walk down the road on the way to the nearest jeepney stop; I sometimes appreciate the beauty of the art of noticing; wherein I appreciate the beauty of the most simplest things humans would just normally ignore, that one deems to be an unnecessary variable to their life around their surroundings. From the simplest fissure on the road, where small grasses made their way to live in, numerously stepped on by people; has to survive with little amount of water and humidity the weather of Philippines can offer; where all one seems to lose hope beyond reason, yet they endured and lived on. We humans could maybe also strive as those grass did but that would cost us our emotions; a concept in life, that no matter how strong a person is, its emotions would always be its weakness. Such is life, all the more reason, why we humans are so fragile. 

          From the later subject mentioned, to the loud noises of cat that are in heat, to the threatening barks of dogs, to the leaves that is heavy with grime, to the flickering street lights, piercing its way on a gloomy dawn that is today....

          "D****tt! Why am I thinking such irrelevant things when I knew that I would be having our quiz today. And to make it more worse, I didn't even at least opened my notes last night. Well, I guess, it is what it is. I mean, its not like the world will stop spinning if I fail right?.... Well I guess, the money invested to me by my tita would probably go to waste, but mehhh, I'm sure I'll pass... hehheheheheh"

         —was my remarks as I'm already near the jepneey station; ready to face my doom of having a failing grade. Though, what did I not expect to happen on that day was way more worse than failing a grade; a tremendous life-changing at that one. Heck, the word tremendous wouldn't even do it justice anymore.

          As the cold early winds of dawn that dare to take down my resolve to face my doom, I rode on a bus that makes it halfway of the three community vehicles that I take everyday forth to school; something's amiss that, today's could be my last day if I fail to heed such attention to—

*ring ring—ring ring ring—ring ring*

          "Huh?! Who dares to interrupt the tranquility that I have with the scenery of..... Oh sh*t! I'm none, but a dead man!"

          As these words ran through my mouth, I can feel the shivers of my legs, out of fear for what's about to crumble upon my harmonious morning, as I flipped and looked at my phone. It was my girlfriend who called. I wonder what that important thing that went amiss, that I solely forgot to attend to this very morning; It was all but way too late before then when I realized. What a quite predicament I put myself in. What will about to happen in the current will bring me to nothing but ruin; yet I resolved myself to face this head-on as I answered her call—

          "G-g-g-g-g-good morning babe! How is your day? Man, I really can't wait to—'

          "Me too! I can't wait!"

          Ehh?! What's up with her tone? Why do I feel like she's having a sinister smile like of those that I see on anime girls.

          "Uhhmm, may I ask of what is it that can't you wait darling?" said I with my voice that can be merely heard to none.

           "I CAN'T WAIT TO BEAT YOUR ASS THE MOMENT I SEE YOUR FACE!"

          "Is something wrong babe? Tell me what's up so that I can take care of it right away this instant!" I remarked boldly in hopes that I might somehow offset this situation I'm in. Or so I thought.

          "FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF YOU NUMBSKULL! Hmmmffpp!"

*beeeeeeeeeeppp*

          I'm so sorry Claire, I know the very reason why you acted this way. But don't you worry, I'll make sure to make it up to you later we meet. I know that I missed to say my good mornings to her, but must she make a big deal out of it? Hayyyss, I may have bagged a girlfriend; a hot and beautiful at that one—but still, I don't understand the way they're thinking.

          Huh Huh! Yes, I may look like this, but the thing that distinguishes my case unique from those other shut-ins that there exist is that I have a real three dimensional girlfriend to coop in—in times whence I may be of service when the call of being a manhood comes forth. Oh yes! I can feel their envious gazes when I am together with my lover. Let them bring their all out—I dare say, but they will never find an opening to this aegis of mine.

          Claire—the woman who accepted for what truly I am; may it be out of pity or she lost a bet, but I held her hand with my utmost wholehearted love for her. We've been a couple for quite a while now; going a second year strong comes the fortnight—this end of May. And if I do so say myself, we've come a long way to a pretty much having a stable relationship. Humans as we are, we are susceptible to the fact that nothing really lasts forever; no matter how much we prepare for it, our walls will always be flooded with the inevitability of our perceived reality. I have always been aware of this very instance, especially that I am engaged in a relationship on this blasted world—I have always imagined of whence that day will come, if fate bestows me unworthy; even I myself do not know, If I can survive like such boulders, poured down from the heavens at me. Claire—the only woman who has broken the chains that kept me suppressed to these unfriendly environment that I always despise of; she even changed how these rusty gears upon my head to smoothly have its stable torques from whence I was but a little kid. She broke the scapegoat that I deemed immaculate from before we met: I always wondered, what if my mother never gave birth on such an insignificant waste of a son like me—I've always wondered, what achievements and glory she could've reach; what places and adventures she could've accomplished; yet, she chose to, but sacrifice all those freedom she had, just to raise a mutt of a boy as me. Although, maybe that having me is also but one of her many dreams to achieve; If so, she could've at least gave birth to a child with so much, as being close to deem worthy of being called prodigy for her to not lose those smiles that she always made treasure of. From that moment then, I made a promise to myself that I should never involved myself to other people, especially to of a woman; one bothersome is enough, I don't want to spread the likings of me; so as for me not to suppress their full potential into venturing on this world full of endeavors. Either I reason out my life like this or it's just a way for me to facade myself out of my incompetency and hide away from the  cowardice of facing myself. Yet, Claire—she dared to sacrifice some of her freedom towards me; she held out her hand to reach out for me, away from this pit that is filled with doubt and anxiety. You could say that she's my saviour  for she literally did; an angel sent by god to save one of his lost sheep back to the herd. I could love her to the bitter end, if fate and time do so allow. But then again, I do suggest to not always be too complacent; time is ticking and the hopes of lasting forever is nothing but more than a mere delusions of man.

          I arrived at my destination, the school that is; the moment the door of the bus opened; as I took down on for what in the godforsaken of a steep of a stair that bus had, I saw my Claire waiting for me at the school gate. It is as if I've witnessed a fairy, an innocent one that is lost in this rotten world finding shelter, when she could've been living in even the most luxurious palaces this world could offer, yet she ended up on these small branches thick with mud and grime.

          "Hi there babe! You need not bother yourself just to wait for me outside. You knew that my route's frequents traffic and I live far from school." said I to her with my utmost wholesome self I could muster.

          "Uhh... Oh hi Frank. Uhh.. Don't worry about me, heh heh. Waiting for you doesn't actually wastes that much effort, and oh, I almost forgot—I DID PROMISE THAT I REALLY CAN'T WAIT TO BEAT YOUR ASS THE MOMENT I SEE YOU(tee-hee). Besides, I'm also kind of waiting for my friend here, but since you're already here, why don't go head in now? We might be running late again."

          "Ummm, I'm good with that, but how about your friend? Please don't make me the reason why you and friend engages in a fight. I wouldn't want that to happen to my wubwub." 

          "Oh stop with that! There's a lot of people here that can hear us. And YOU?!, the reason me and my friend fights? Give me a break Frank"

          "Ahhh. Well I'm glad that you and your friend have a strong bond like that, but is the last part neccessary though?"

—

          "Oh woe this poor man's maiden heart. Although I am man, this love is also as fragile as those you women have. OHHHH WOE THIS POOR MAN's HEART! Arrghhhh it pains me, the very woman I love doesn't bode me well! Ahhhh"—*pinches my side*—"ARRRGGGGGHHHH! Oi what gives!?"

          "PLEASE SHUT UP AND STAY AWAY FROM ME! PLEASE I BEG YOU". She glanced at our nearest audience and said, "I'm sorry for the commotion, but I do not know this man!" as she strides a distance away from me.

          "Oii, come on, I was just fooling around. No need to be that mad pweasee!"  

          "Ahhh YOUU!"

          And so to our lectures, we headed.