Dinner, Delicious and Terrible

Silence overtook the room. Friedbert was condescendingly smiling at me, matching his father. The King nodded his head in thought.

I need to get out of here ASAP.

I stood up. “My apologies, Duke Deighsel, Friedbert. Father. I… really need to use the restroom. Really bad.” I glanced behind me, to Marie, silently pleading with her. She let out an imperceptibly quiet sigh. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one who heard it.

The King took a moment to think, then clasped his hands together. “Ah, I suppose it’s just as well. I’m sure the two of you are worn to the bone from your long day of travel. We shall adjourn for now, and continue this discussion later. It’s about time for dinner, yes?” He looked towards one of the maids, who I didn’t recognize. She nodded politely in response.

“Yes, Your Majesty. If you should like to proceed to the dining hall, I may guide you and our esteemed guests there at once.”

“Excellent. By all means, then, Denise.” He stood up as well.

“I, uh, shall meet thee there. In the… dining hall. Yes. If you’ll excuse me, then.” I curtsied, then grabbed Marie’s hand and dashed out of the room. The sound of the duke tsk-tsking and his son chuckling (evilly) faded out as I made my way into the hall. I kept going until I was sure they were out of earshot, then stopped and leaned against the wall.

“Okay, Marie, where’s the bathroom? That wasn’t a lie, I really need a sec.”

“My Lady, what on earth are you talking about? What do you mean, ‘where’s the bathroom’? You live here.”

“Ah, right. Haha. …Just a little joke, you know how I like to make those. Yes…” I said with a halfhearted smile.

She didn’t laugh.

“Something is seriously wrong today. Are you ill?” She put the back of her hand on my forehead, checking for a fever.

“That meeting has scrambled my brain a little bit, I think,” I offered. It looked as if Marie wanted to reply, but bit her tongue.

“Very well.”

She opened a door right next to me. “I shall wait outside for you to finish. I imagine you may need guidance to the dining hall as well?”

I sheepishly nodded in response. “I’ll be but a moment.”

Ducking inside the bathroom, I closed and latched the door. My eyes found the pristine marble sink, and I hunched over it. I felt like vomiting. What a disgusting meeting. Marrying a man? Perish the thought, especially that one.

I am NOT gay. There’s no way I’ll ever do that.

With shaky breath, I took a few deep gulps of oxygen, and the nausea subsided. A few moments of silence to myself helped center me, calming my heart rate. It was the first time I had actually been alone since getting pulled into this body and world.

With my nerves calming, I realized, staring into the sink, just how much my view downwards had changed. Whoa. I see why Friedbert was staring so hard… They do look very nice in this dress. I didn’t have time to dilly-dally, however. Freshening up a little, I washed my hands and patted my face. Back into the fray.

Marie guided me to the dining hall, just as extravagant as each of the rooms prior. The twilight sun streamed in through massive arched windows adorned by embroidered curtains, and the long, silken-clad dinner table was set with more types of dishware than I think I could name. The smell of something deliciously savory wafted all through the air.

As soon as Marie and I stepped into the hall, the three men who had been conversing at the table all fell silent.

“Welcome, Elisabeth. Took your time, hm?” The King said.

“I-”

“Her Highness would like to sincerely apologize for keeping our esteemed guests waiting.” Marie cut me off before I could start complaining and gave a deep bow.

The duke didn’t seem to care for the secondhand apology. “Hurry up and sit down already, girl. I’m famished.”

I sat down. Several butlers swooped out with bowls of a deliciously onion-y smelling substance and placed them in front of each of us. Some kind of fancy soup? I couldn’t tell you exactly what, though — when cooking for myself, I pretty much stuck to anything that could be prepared with nothing but a microwave and 2 minutes of free time.

As I grabbed my spoon, a slight issue revealed itself. I didn’t have a spoon. I had four. In trepidation, I pulled back. The other three had already begun to eat (drink?) their soups. They’re going to look at me weird. But the correct choice was a mystery. Often at fancy dinners, at least in movies I’d seen, choosing the wrong utensil was a massive faux pas. Doubly so for a daughter of a king.

There were no other options, though. I couldn’t ask anyone for fear of making a fool of myself any further. The clinks and slurps and chatter of the men around me rang through my ears. Of the four spoons, I had to choose one, and fast. Maybe the small one up there? Since this is, like, a first course or something? Sure. It would do.

Slowly, I reached for the small spoon above the plate.

Cough!

I looked behind my shoulder. Marie, standing behind me, covered her mouth with a closed fist.

Is she okay?

I returned to my cutlery conundrum. Right, top spoon. I moved to grab it again.

Cough!

It was Marie again, louder this time.

What is she-

Oooohhhhhhh.

Gingerly hovering my hand over the utensils, I nudged it to the right, above a different spoon.

Cough!

“I’m terribly sorry, there appears to be something stuck in my throat.”

Next spoon. Nothing. I returned to the previous one.

Cough!

“Heavens, Marie!” the King exclaimed. The other maids stared at her.

Back to the other one. Silence. Thank you so much, Marie.

With my utensil situation settled, I was able to enjoy the food. And enjoy it I did. As soon as I brought the first spoonful to my lips, the taste blasted my tongue. A strong, stocky flavor served as the base, with a savory and sharp cheesiness over top of it, and garlic and onion complementing it. Deliciously salty, yet with a tiny hint of sweetness. Whoa. A basket of fresh bread appeared next to me, delivered by a maid. Instantly, I knew what to do. How can you not?

As I ate, the King and the Duke resumed whatever conversation had occurred before my arrival.

“Then have you any plans to attend that …‘festival’ put on by those heathens, Your Majesty?”

“Hmph. Though I despise the mere thought of interacting with the deviants to the East, our position is too dire to sour relations any further. I’m sure you’re well aware of that.”

The duke chuckled. “Why yes, I am.”

“Dreadful as it is to say, should another Scourge break out, we may need their help to stop total disaster.”

“Mmmm.”

Pure silence overcame the hall. A strange tension had filled the air. As nonchalantly as possible, I watched the two of them as they conversed. I took my hands away from my bowl, fearful that any noise might shatter the fragile atmosphere.

“Well?” the King continued.

“Hm?”

“What of the Duchy?”

“Oh, we’re managing quite finely. Quite finely, indeed.”

“Of course you are.”

Eyes locked, Duke Deighsel and King Lumineuse had both stopped eating. Not wishing to make the situation any more awkward, I turned back to my own bowl of yummy soup, tak- Oh my GOD are you serious?

That jerk was boring a hole into my chest. Again. I scoffed.

“Dude.”

“Doo… de?” Friedbert brought his eyes up to mine. “Princess, what does that mean?”

Oh. ”It’s, ah… A word I saw in one of my novels! It’s an expression for when you’re really satisfied by food.”

Look, I was put on the spot, okay?

“Hmm. Dude, eh? Then, dude! This stew is excellent.”

The two men, in the midst of their psychic clash, broke away from one another.

“...Dude, indeed,” the duke said. I would have laughed if I weren’t so annoyed.

“You and your stories, Elisabeth. Time better spent on etiquette lessons.”

At the very least, the tension in the room had dissipated. The King didn’t seem happy — with me, the duke, or anything, really — but dinner continued.

Subsequently, more aromatic dishes, which I couldn’t possibly tell you the names of, were brought to the table and consumed. Some fancy kind of meat, some confections, and even a salad, maybe the first I’d had in a year. I kinda just sent it on the utensils. I didn’t want Marie to get chewed out any further, especially not as a means of covering for me. She’d already helped so much, despite not knowing what was actually going on.