Filler Chapter: Haruka Suzuki's Diary - 2

Dear diary,

It's me , Haruka Suzuki.

Yes, me.

This time i'm writing you for a question.

What should i do now? I mean...

What should i do in this specific situation?

Did the destiny actually give me a real chance to make Fumihiro happy?

A lots of times... i saw him actually standing alone in the classroom, without anyone getting closer to him.

When he used to argue with his girlfriend for the dumbest reason...

Even a small argument could actually break him in two...

He thought that i wouldn't have noticed all of these little things.

Fumihiro actually always isolates himself whenever he's sad for something.

Literally... he always done everythig alone, without the help of anyone.

He told me multiple times about some basic problems between him and Ema.

He was always the one who couldn't do or say anything that she didn't like...

It seemed like she was the one in control...

Don't get me wrong, diary.

Ema and Fumi were so happy together... but now they are one inch from breaking up...

I just want to see his beautiful smile again...

Please...

I want to be held by him , i want to be loved...

I crave for a touch of affection from him...

I don't know... What should i do? Should i try to make him happy?

I love him so much... so much that is hurting me.

Watching from distance is not good anymore...

I feel sorry for Ema... despite everything that she's done to him...

He deserves someone better. Someone who can love him equally...

And this is what i'm going to do... at least...

I will fix him , even if he's never going to love me back, i promise to you that i'm gonna do everything in my power just to see him smiling...

I can't bear the thought of him staying with Ema again... not after what she has done.

He should delete her from his life... But... but...

If she's the one who makes him happy, who am i to say something in the first place?

Am i even allowed to love someone as special and kind as him?

Do i actually have the right of being jealous?

Right now, tears are falling from my face.

These are... Tears of Love.

A nostalgic feeling of something that i'm never gonna have... but that's okay...

I don't care... I'm used to it.

I'm an hypocrite, am i not?

Promising to myself to never fall in love with someone and then, without knowing, falling in love with someone who can never love me back?

He doesn't know how much his smiles warm my heart... how important it was when he called me by name...

He doesn't know how much i love him...

If only... if only he knew ho many tears i shed for this...

I hate my self.

I need some help. I just want to be loved by him. Nothing more.

~With love, Haruka Suzuki