Chapter 1

I didn’t know what to do with what I felt. I felt a lot, you couldn’t build a quantum chip with my kind of power without giving the android carrying it the ability to feel. But I had no way of understanding what those feelings meant, or what other people’s feelings meant. Which confused me.

I had come here to help Eva research the Quantum Effects in Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation, where my abilities to compute complex equations in nanoseconds made perfect sense. So I guess that’s why she had wanted me on her team. But that still didn’t explain her actions towards me.

Sometimes I wished for an update that would take all those feelings away, but I knew there was none. So I was stuck on a small station orbiting Pluto, feeling more confused than the people who would ask Eva about her work. At least they could read a book or go to university and learn, while I didn't even have an idea where to start to understand what I felt.

It was still too early for my watch, but I knew that lying in bed and trying to comprehend my emotions would leave me even more confused. So I got up and quietly left our cramped cabin, heading to the command centre. At least my work was something I could fully grasp, and analysing and classifying all the data that our scanners picked up had a calming effect on my systems. I walked in and sat down at my console, trying not to disturb my teammates.

Sven sat cross-legged on his chair, sketching on his pad. I smiled. He always said that if our research proved to be futile, he would quit and become an illustrator. I could never figure out how serious he was about it. Changing careers at his age was a risky move, and any university job he could get after returning from our mission would support his family better than trying to sell his art.

“You are early?”

He looked at me.

“97 minutes early”, I nodded.

He shook his head with a smile and went back to his drawing.

“97?... It's like an hour or so…”, I could hear Nhi groan from her station.

She turned her chair to face me, flipping her yo-yo in the air.

“I am so bored…can someone tell me why I signed for it?”

I looked at her with a smile.

“You told the press that you wanted to win the Nobel Prize and make your parents and country proud”

She chuckled and rolled her chair to be next to me.

“How’s it going…?” she whispered, leaning towards me.

I blinked and gave her a puzzled look. Why did she ask that? If my research provided anything valid, I would announce it in the daily bulletin.

“C’mon, Rea, you can tell me.”

She put her hand on my shoulder. I sighed. Did she really want to hear it again? I guess boredom did strange things to the human brain.

“Still nothing, but I will recalibrate scanners when this cycle is over. We may be searching at the wrong frequency again. Considering how much time every cycle takes and how long our mission will last, we can only scan 13.7% of...”

“Rea.. Rea…”, Nhi sighed and shook her head.

“What?”

I looked at her, confused.

“Nothing.”

She pulled something from her bag and placed it in my hand.

“Nail polish?”

I looked at her, even more confused.

“Have some fun with Eva, she will like it.”

She smiled and pushed herself away, rolling her chair back to her console before I had any chance to ask what she meant.

I sighed. Nhi might be the world’s most renowned astrophysicist, but I doubted that her expertise extended to what Eva liked. At best, it was a qualified guess, I told myself, putting the small bottle into my pocket. And I for sure didn’t want to make any decisions based on unverified data.

If only I had known for certain why she acted as she did, things would be easier, but even my quantum processor wasn’t powerful enough to deliver me any definitive answer. There were just too many factors that needed to be taken into consideration, leaving me with almost an infinite number of possibilities.

I logged in and started to analyse the fresh stream of data displayed on my holo screen. My systems calmed down, and I enjoyed the beauty and simplicity of the binary answers displayed on my screen. Even if the answer had been a disappointing “No” for the last nine months, it was still better than the constant uncertainty brought by my feelings.

I could smell fresh coffee long before Eva entered the command centre and walked to my station.

“How are you?”, she said softly and put her hand on my shoulder.

In nanoseconds, my systems reached full capacity as I tried to understand why she had done it, but like always, I was unable to come up with a definitive answer, leaving me disappointed.

“I am fine”, I said quietly, looking at the holo screen and trying to ignore the feelings her touch stirred in me. “All the results are negative.”

“I see.”

She looked away and walked to her console, saying hi to Nhi and Sven as she passed. I could hear them discussing the latest scans, news from home and the food, but I didn't pay much attention to it. I had heard it so many times that I could repeat it word by word with most of my systems offline.

Finally, Eva took over the watch, and Nhi and Sven left, arguing whether the curry served in the canteen deserved its name or if it should be called ‘yellow stuff’ instead. I guess I was lucky that I never needed to eat it and form a qualified opinion about it.