406. Sickness and health, 9

(Rose)

I swam out of the river a little later. I was freezing cold. Still naked, with only my sword tightly held. In the middle of winter.

A long time ago, I would have been tempted to use magic all the way, non stop. I’m wiser now.

At least a little. I know I should keep that for the special occasions as much as possible.

But now that I’m in danger of freezing to death, so that should count.

I also know I should hunt down the Priest, but I’m aware I’m not that likely to prevail, no matter how much I want to fight something , because of murky impulses and feelings. Instincts and reasons. Be wiser Rose.

I need to be smarter.

First, avoiding freezing to death.

I reached an old building by the side of the river and the road. An old workshop of some sort.

I need clothes. But first, I need warmth.

I reopen the gates of magic inside my mind. I’m more used to them now. It gets easier.

The T.I. that flows around my body reacts and rapidly follows my will.

I snap my fingers for the fun of it, but mostly I focus on rising the temperature a lot where I’m looking.

The ball of hot air surrounding the pieces of wood I found becomes high enough in temperature. The fire starts following the impulse.

I close the gates. It’s like shutting your eyes, or stopping to focus on a very specific muscle.

Anyway, I warm myself up by the fire.

I just have the time to think about this last day for a few minutes.

The strain I’ve put myself through was too much.

I collapse there, passing out.

~

I woke up one or two days later.

Awakening in the middle of the night, still freezing to death.

My whole body aches.

I restart the fire, the same ways.

The shades are dancing around me.

I sit, warming myself up, trying not to think about what happened before.

I’ll see if all my toes survive, since they look frozen.

For now, I’ll just get warmer I think. Tomorrow, I’ll see what I do.

My memories are still all fuzzy, since I returned to life. The sudden strife didn’t help clear my thoughts properly.

I can hear you, inside of me.

That makes me smile.

For a second or two, I saw my old friends again the other day. That was nice. They’re alive.

And I’m happy if they can use the flying ship.

I’ll have to find a solution to settle this issue with Priest. That one will be a recurring problem for me and everyone else until then.

I warm up my blood and skin. My toes hurt a lot, but they survived. It’s not freezing outside, it’s only very cold.

I cough and my throat hurts. I think some microbes are as well happy to see me again.

~

At dawn, I went outside and climbed the nearby hill.

I looked at the rising morning colours. The light of a new day.

R - ...

I still enjoy it.

Even if you’re no longer there.

Most of our plans have been reduced to ashes.

But I’m still there, living on, or again.

And I still can enjoy these sights. Even if I miss you.

My nostalgic daydreaming is interrupted by my cough.

I return to my current camp.

~

I wrap myself in the pieces of cloth and plastics I could find.

I’m starving meanwhile.

I found a giant slug but as soon as I tried to roast it, it shrunk to the size of a pea, releasing all its water.

Meanwhile I notice I’m getting a fever.

I travel back painfully to the city where it all happened. I didn’t want to.

But I’ll find something to eat there I know.

It takes me an exhausting day, but I make it.

All my affairs are gone from the camp I made. Zes...

I block away from my mind the others thoughts about all that happened in this city.

I find in another residential building some clothes that are more dust than fibres, but are good enough for me today. This leather jacket hardly moves, but it’s better than literally nothing.

I found a bag of sugar and one of flour. I mixed it all with some rancid oil and ate it. A little raw, the rest baked into biscuits.

My cough isn’t getting any better, but I’ll survive.

I found a bicycle that still worked. I bagged the meagre things I owned and left the city, heading north.

Something tells me my friends might have headed that way. We will see. I’d rather think ahead, about them, than look back right now.

~

I found a toxic village on my way and proceeded around it, only stopping for painful releases.

The next town was peaceful. There I could settle for a few days.

I buried myself in the better house, with best isolation, and burnt enough things inside its chimney to make a sauna inside the entire room or building.

As I relaxed there in this decay, the water and warm humidity made all the walls sweat their paints and papers.

I took a warm bath in the end, burning even more of the furniture, staining and damaging the house beyond repair, as I enjoyed the warmth of a bath, with flames nearby.

I kept myself warm, turning a few more houses like that into one use saunas, one after the other.

It’s not quite like me to be that wasteful, but today... I feel I needed that.

My natural strength returned slowly meanwhile.

My colours got slowly better.

My mind as well.

Everything was settling properly.

As I relaxed there in another molten house, half of it burning, I thought back about my dreams and nightmares.

I know what my nightmares will make me experience again.

For my dreams however, well, now I was thinking more clearly about it.

Where do I want to go now?

I wanted to see Zeslinry. That’s kind of done already. Bleue wanted to see Moscow. Ana the land of the blue sky. But they’re gone now...

Another plan slowly grows over the elements I gave myself.

A new idea is blossoming slowly. I think I know where I will head next.

As soon as I’m mended from this painful cold. My throat hurts.

I saw another dawn as I promised myself.

My mind still feels a little like I’m floating, cautiously letting the darkest bubbles floating aside of me, protecting myself from what I can’t face yet.

That rush after my return sent a part of me flying so high, that it still hasn’t quite returned to the ground yet.

Until I’m feeling ready again, I’ll be dreaming here, keeping myself warm.

I will be fine.

So far in my sleeps, the dreams have only been simple enough for me not to remember them.

I still have quite a journey ahead of me. I’m sure it will be nice.

~