Hour 18

Emi wanted to lash out, but it was hard for her to even begin properly accepting what the voice was insinuating. Somehow, she kept her cool and thought, "No, it wants me to get angry. I won't play along, we'll find a way around this sick game." The voice, as if it heard her thoughts, responded snidely, echoing uncomfortably in her head, "We don't care if you're angry or happy. Either way, you will be the only one to pass." "Who, no, what the hell are you!?" She asked in her mind, and it responded, "We are a collective. Once, we were many organisms of a single species but we evolved past our physical flesh into a single hivemind long, long ago." The massive spinal cord vibrated in the distance as if to prove something, but Emi couldn't comprehend what. Alex was quiet and she didn't like the thoughts that were being managed behind his cold, dull eyes. Emi said, "Don't worry, Alex. We're doing this together. I'll never leave you behind." He sighed, as if releasing a great weight from his limbs, and gave her a tepid half smile as he said, "wish I still had that revive." "That's it!" Emi exclaimed. "I'll find a way to get a revive, then you can go on ahead and I'll come back!" Alex didn't like seeing his sister like this, her desperation to save him was clouding her intellect. He sighed again, this time deeper, "I was joking, Emi. A revive won't work, you'll only revive where you died here, not in the next game. Also, that thing literally just said I couldn't continue, only you. How would you using a revive help? Try to think rationally." "What?" She asked, looking at him in disbelief. "I AM thinking rationally, I'm trying to save you." His words cut her like a powerful insult as he asked, "Even if the revive would work, which it won't, where are you going to get 140 hours to buy a revive?" He was right, she was trying to bend logic to fight her reality, fight for a reality where Alex lived. Alex reasoned, "even if you could use a revive here I wouldn't let you. You'd need it for the final section of the game, not to waste it on me." She replied as she tried to fend off tears, "it wouldn't be a waste." He begged in a fatigued voice, "I don't want to argue about a pointless topic, Emi. It won't help us." She knew he was right, but hearing her brother talk like that hurt her heart. She couldn't leave Alex behind, couldn't abandon him after all they had been through. It wasn't even an option. He could see she wasn't going to give up on him, and while it was one of the nicest feelings he had experienced, he knew she couldn't devote her previous time to an unwinnable goal. He said, "Even if I could come with you, I'd only slow you down. I'm starting to feel... Really tired." Even though she felt like they were some incorporeal astral projection rather than a physical form at the moment, she could still tell the blood giving his shirt a muddy discoloration on his abdomen was spreading its unsightly absorption. His body had also slowed down as if it was operating at half speed. His breathing, how he spoke, and even the way he blinked all seemed to be transitioning to slow motion. He said, "I think you should kill me, Emi. That way, you can take my hours, and they won't go to waste." She felt an urge to grab him by the collar of his shirt but didn't want to risk moving him carelessly with his current injury even if they weren't in a physical body, so she settled for throwing her hands out and yelling, "I could never do that, you idiot!" A fine mixture of the pain and mental stress he was in, along with being called an idiot by her, finally forced the tears he had been battling to be released. "Please, Emi." "I'm your older sister! Listen to me, we are going to figure this out, ok?" He fell to his knees in the endless black space they floated in, and she went to his side, "What's wrong?" "I think... I think I'm dying, Emi. Even if I could follow you, I don't think that would change anything." Emi looked at her little brother in unbridled horror as he appeared to be slightly translucent, his hue accented by the blackness around them now. He spoke, his voice trying to remain calm but starting to falter, "Let's face it, Emi, you're way more likely to beat this game than I am. You're stronger, faster, smarter." She wanted to scream, but it came out more of a whimper, "Don't talk about yourself like that." He smiled, "You're even kinder than me, too." He laughed as he made an addendum, "Well, most of the time. Sometimes, you yell at me." He was smiling but she choked, "That's not funny. I'm being serious."  He clutched his wound as he grew another shade lighter and said, "Me too. You can't waste your time here with me; you barely have 7 hours to your name. You need to keep moving." She contested, "No, I need to, I want to, I... I..." He reached for her hand and she grasped it in both of hers. He said, "Please, don't blame yourself, Emily. I would've never made it this far without you, I would've died all the way back in phase one. You're the reason I'm here right now, the reason I lived this long at all." Hearing him call her Emily did it; her willpower to hold back her own tears had been decimated. Alex became even more see-through, and she shouted, "Don't go!" Even though she still held his hand, his voice sounded far away, like it was in another room, as he said, "Please, Emily, don't forget me. Remember all the good times." Emi's mind flashed in a sequence of crippling memories as if constructed with the primary focus of breaking her emotional strength.

She remembered when her mother had come home from the hospital and had been holding that small, weak creature in a blanket. She had told her, "From today on, you're going to be a big sister." She had asked, "Big sister? But, I'm not big!" As she presented her small body against her mother's. "You're big sister!" She claimed with a triumphant pat on her mother's foot. Her mother smiled and responded, "No, I'll always be a mom. But one day, you will be big, you're even bigger than him right now." Emi had stared at the sleeping child, perplexed but interested in the proposition before her. "Starting today, you are a big sister."

She remembered helping him with his homework with notes she had taken from prior school years. She was annoyed at first, but after the way he had looked at her like a superhero, she began to look forward to helping him.

She remembered protecting him from bullies at school. Soon, he got a name for himself; everyone knew that picking on him would end badly for them. He got new friends from this, other kids who had suffered from the bullies but now had safety. Unbeknownst to Alex, Emi would watch them play outside sometimes.

She remembered when she broke her mother's favorite vase while cleaning, and Alex had taken the punishment for her. She had asked him why and he had responded that he wanted to thank her for everything she had done for him. She didn't quite know what he meant; she couldn't remember helping him with any chores or anything like that. She had simply smiled and treated him to some ice cream.

She remembered him being sad at the parents' lunch during the school field day. Their mom had been too busy to leave work, and it was just him, waiting for a teacher to eventually sit with him to make him feel that he wasn't completely left out. Knowing this, she left her school early to come to his and surprise him but, upon arrival, noticed he was extra dejected that he would never know his dad like the other kids. It wasn't fair. She had comforted him, telling him that they were the same and they would both make it ok because they had each other. She had told him that maybe one day, he would be a dad. He could be the best dad, the dad he never had.

As Emi watched her brother fade, the tears wouldn't stop rolling. Alex was all she had left in this rotten world. Both her father and mother had been taken and now Alex was leaving her behind too. He'd never grow up, achieve his first beard, or score his first girlfriend. He'd never drive his first car or land his first job, spend his first paycheck, or drink his first beer. Never start a family, and never let her become the cool aunt. She'd never get to share embarrassing stories with her nieces or nephews about him, never get to experience sibling old age with him, and reminisce about the good old days. She'd never share another birthday or Christmas, never have another laugh or argument. He would die a child, robbed of all the pleasures and sorrows life could offer; he would be cheated of the human experience. "Alex, I'll never forgive you if you go! Listen to me, stay here! We can make this work!" He smiled gently, "I don't think I have a choice anymore, Emily." His voice was almost inaudible, his facial features one step away from completely faded. "Emily..." "Call me Em! I'm Em!" He smiled one last time and said, "ok, E-" but he was gone. Her brother was dead. Her reason to continue on was dead. She felt dead.

She cried for a long time after that, begging Alex to come back and trying to wake up from her current reality like it was some kind of nightmare. When none of it yielded anything, she contemplated ending her own life. She quickly expunged that thought, "No. This would've had no point then, Alex's death would've had no point." She resolved within herself to continue on in his name, beat the game to ensure his death wasn't meaningless.

After Alex died, the voice didn't speak to her anymore. She was glad, of course, as she would've ignored it anyway. Feeling like she had nothing left to lose, Emily Wyatt walked through the door leading to the next game with 6 hours left. In the background, the spinal cord grew a little larger.