501. Doubts and Philosophy, 1

(Rose)

I still barely have a sense of time passing. I do feel when something changes abruptly in my environment however.

R - What was that? We just lost a great part of ourselves!

N - I’m not sure. But I think the stomach is empty. And something else is spreading from the genesis domain.

It doesn’t take too long to put two and two together, for us and for Magenta. It was an attack.

Magenta has been struck, badly.

The shock has propagated, so it is reacting to the crisis and adapting.

We’ve been very quiet and discreet all this time, growing like a great parasite.

But now, with a different infection spreading visibly, and a gaping wound to heal, Magenta may unleash something that will soon take notice of us as well.

It’s never been that weak before however. So maybe it’s an opportunity to strike as well.

It’s weak right now. Not tomorrow.

Victory won’t be certain at all right now, but its chances would likely become lower in a short time when it begins fighting the other infection. Maybe we should ally ourselves to the foreign infection and try.

Nightmare isn’t confident. She’s more focused on the materialistic aspect of things. That means the interface where things can be created. The genesis domain is currently in shambles, and its grasp will return to Magenta shortly.

Me I see the path to the brain being forced open by a rapid opportunistic infection. I want to join it in the attack.

N - It won’t see us as an ally that easily, it’s an infection, not an intelligence like us. We shouldn’t meddle.

R - I want to return to the world we’ve lost at least as much as you. But we have to take Magenta out as well or this will only get worse. This could be our best chance in many years.

N - It’s too much of a risk on too many levels. You’re too rash.

R - We have to. I, have to.

N - Your guilt is possibly the worst strategic advisor.

So far, time was on our side. Right now, it’s not. And making rash, rapid calls, isn’t natural for her. It’s too human. Nightmare needs a year of thinking to change her mind about something.

If human science and knowledge and politics evolved so much faster than our bodies do, it’s probably because our intelligence can accept to change that much faster.

Despite her intelligence and unnatural origin, Nightmare is more natural than me in her way of thoughts.

What should we do? Magenta is reconfiguring itself, changing its structure and healing the wide hole that suddenly appeared. It won’t be easy for us to follow while remaining unnoticed.

R - We still have the element of surprise with us. If antibodies appear and notice us, we will lose forever that weapon and advantage that is the greatest of all. We should use it while we still can.

N - Revealing ourselves now will keep it busy, and us as well. It does not mean we will prevail. It’s more likely we will lose all and have to try a risky escape in the end. Even more risky since it will be hunting us down. We don’t have that much of an upper hand. Our strengths are still very limited.

I think about it. What would be wise?

R - I understand you have a good reading of our strengths. Our forces. What about Magenta’s?

N - I evaluate them to be far greater than ours, that will not change for a while.

R - What if it did? What if we could? Where are the strongest armies we could quickly isolate, and perhaps win over?

N - Strategies...

R - You said the word. I follow you on avoiding rushing ahead without a plan. But let’s think of a plan fast while the infection still spreads. Because if there’s a moment when our strategy could tip the scale over, I really want to seize it.

N - Strategy...

R - We’ve focused on growth so far. Let’s see if we finally can act somewhere, with a plan that could make up for the difference in strength and power.

N - It’s not my thing...

R - But as a good daiûa enjoying to play with blood, you know well how organisms work, right? Show me how Magenta does live. Teach me how its metabolism works and keeps it alive, and let’s follow closely the progress of the foreign infection. Meanwhile, start building tools to infect and destroy carefully.

She makes the weapons and gathers intelligence. I will find a strategy.

~

Bleue and I, we liked chaos. With patterns rising from not quite related events.

Making at posteriori seemingly insignificant events unavoidable steps of something much greater to come.

Like someone dying in Sarajevo when I was younger.

Or me picking up that old book from a third degree friends of my parents in London.

That also led me to be here right now, indirectly.

And repeatedly, my attempts to correct what I found unethical in the world, have backfired tenfold later on.

I do learn. But I keep burning myself nonetheless.

Because I believe in some moral values I’m ready to risk it all for.

I would still be alive if it wasn’t for my attempt to condemn Magenta.

Bleue would probably still be alive if it weren’t for Ogre... Well, maybe.

And maybe she would never have existed I had not met and encountered Ogre before...

I can’t predict the full extent of the consequences of my actions. I don’t think it’s possible. Especially in this world.

But when I witness someone or something gradually poisoning the land and destroying everything that lives for miles around... I can’t forget about it. I can’t let this crime be...

It cost me more than one life now.

I could accept I think what Nightmare tried to test me on. To defend an innocent daiûa’s life against humans. I could probably accept for daiûas to eat humans even, to some disputable extent...

But senseless, pointless, indiscriminate killing of everything, by game or by ambition, I just can’t.

The Queen of the tunnel was right.

Dragod didn’t deserve to die.

Magenta neither, had it been able to hear it and accept it.

Both of these long lasting tragedies with daiûas, great powerful daiûas, are my responsibility.

I made things worse, ironically trying to make things better according to moral values.

Blume would tell me repeatedly that nature doesn’t care. Objectively, nihilism is probably true.

But that will not be me. My mistakes created an increasing chaos with daiûas, with gods as they are.

I don’t know what the future holds; what will happen next should I say. But I will do what I can to finish that tragedy that turned into a small-scale war with Magenta.

N - I can hear your resolve.

R - I have a strategy as well. Is the infection paralysing what you expected?

N - Better than we thought it would... Alright Rose. Let’s strike it down.

~