Miss Denial

The world seemed to freeze. No, the world did freeze to Nitsuki. Time had stopped, and the universe itself had ceased to exist.

*crack*

Oh would you look at that. All plausible deniability was beginning to crumble before her into teeny, tiny, little pieces.

See, I told you so~ 

Her stupid brain giggled as her cheeks burned.

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!" she yelled internally, trying to silence the taunts. "T-there's a chance he didn't mean it that way. Maybe he's just reiterating that he likes me as a… friend?"

…You cannot possibly be this dense.

"B-but maybe I am! There's no way this can be happening," Nitsuki futilely protested as she argued with herself.

You are in denial.

"Shhhhh! I'm thinking!"

Denial. Denial.

"I'm not listening!"

D*gimon was right. Miss Denial really does fit you.

"SHUT UP!"

She wanted to slam her head against something to silence the thoughts. Maybe that would make them go away.

Her heart had begun to beat erratically, and she had to stop herself from hyperventilating as she processed Tachibana's ??confession??

"Nia?" His voice came out small. "Um, can you please say something?"

He looked at her, his gaze pleading. AGH! Why did he look so cute?

"…Sorry, I was… distracted. Thank you, Tachibana." She plastered a calm smile on her face. "I like you, too. As a, erm, friend. I'm assuming that's what you meant?"

"…" Silence stretched between them. Tachibana looked like he had been kicked in the face.

"Er, Tachibana? Um, that is what you meant, right—?"

"Nia. I like you romantically."

*crack*

Her neurons stopped firing. The gears stopped turning. Any and all cognitive functions went kaput.

"Y-you don't have to pity me enough to fake this," Nitsuki managed out. "I mean, I really, really appreciate the flattery—I'm ecstatic, even—but there's no reason to lie to me just to make me feel like a girl. I know what I really am."

His eyes flared. "Fake this? Nia, I would never lie to you. Especially not about something like this." He clenched his hands. "Look, I've… liked you for a long, long time. Years, actually."

*crack*

"Years? That's a long time to lie. You can drop the act now."

"Nia?! I'm not acting!" Tachibana shook his head in frustration. "Seriously! Why are you so convinced that I'm faking this?!"

She grimaced. "Because… look at me, Tachibana. I'm a man—a guy. You're attracted to girls. Real ones." She gestured to herself. "This body? It's all wrong. The clothes and the hair and the makeup, that's just me pretending to be something that I'm not. You're a good man, Tachibana, and I know that you'd never judge me, but that doesn't change what I fundamentally… am." Her voice died off on the last word. Her chest felt hollow.

"…" Tachibana stared at her. Then, without warning, his hand grabbed hers. 

"T-Tachibana?! W-what are you doing?!" Nitsuki flinched at the sudden contact but didn't pull away.

"Nia. Why are you still saying you're a guy?!"

"Why? Because that's what my body says I am! It's what society says I am. It's what the entirety of damn Hoshimura says I am!"

He tightened his grip. "Is that why that guy from earlier hit on you? Because he thought you were a guy?"

"…"

Tachibana sighed as he let go of her hand. She was frozen in place. "Nia, I am being as straightforward as I can completely be. Every time I see you, I think that you're the cutest woman in the world. And before you say anything, I am not exaggerating—at all. I mean every single compliment that I say. Every. Single. One."

She blinked. "…W-why, though?"

"What do you mean why?" He looked at her like she had grown two heads. "You're funny! Beautiful! Cute! Attractive! A GIRL!"

*crack*

"Tachibana, you… can't be serious." Her eyes were beginning to water. "Please, this joke has gone on too far. I admit, you got me. Ha ha~"

He shook his head at her. His eyes were warm, his expression earnest. "Nia… I have never been more serious in my entire life."

*crack*

"But—"

"Nia… Listen to me. I'm going to say it one more time to be as clear as I can be."

"S-say what? T-Tachibana you really don't…"

He placed a finger on her lips. Then, his hand trailed to her cheek as he took one deep and heavy breath.

"Nia… I love you."

"…" A single tear rolled down Nitsuki's cheek. Then another. Then another. Before she knew it, she was crying. Sobbing. Bawling.

This couldn't be right.

"T-Tachibana. D-do you… actually like me? Me? T-this broken, worthless piece of—"

He leaned in and pulled her into a hug.

"Nia. You're not worthless. You're not broken. You are a wonderful person, and the best friend that anyone could ask for. You've got a sharp wit and a great sense of humor, and your smile can light up any room."

She struggled to breath. "Y-you're wrong. I'm defective. T-there's nothing good about me—absolutely nothing! So why? Why?!"

He didn't answer, instead, he cupped her face. "Nia, do you accept my feelings?"

The blood in her veins felt fuzzy at his touch. "I-I want to. I so desperately want to, but—t-there's no way I can. I'm not worth it. I never will be. Y-you deserve so much better—"

"Is that a yes?" He interrupted her and slightly pulled away so that he could see more of her face. Their eyes were locked now. She couldn't turn away.

She had to reply.

"…" She sniffled before taking a shaky breath. "Y-yes… I do. But… are you sure? Are you really, really sure? I can't… I still can't imagine why you'd—"

His lips suddenly brushed against her cheek.

"!" Her eyes briefly unfocused.

Tachibana pulled back and gave her the most tender smile she'd ever seen.

"Yes."

"…Eek." Nitsuki squeaked out. Her mind blanked as she tried to process the kiss.

Tachibana's eyes darted away from hers. "Are you, um, okay? Sorry. That was kind of sudden, wasn't it?"

Her face burned from where his lips had touched. "I-I'm fine." She looked at him. "Just, uh, shocked. I never… erm, thought you would ever… like me."

Liar.

"…" She ignored her own thoughts, too stunned to argue with her stupid brain. "S-sorry. I'm, uh, trying to process everything. And I'm not sure how to respond."

His chest deflated in relief as he closed his eyes. "Damn it, you're so adorable." Then, his lips quirked into a small, content grin. "I can't believe I had to elaborate that much though. I sort of thought I could just get away with uh… 'liking you' and you would understand. I wasn't really prepared for an entire love confession like that. "

Nitsuki's face burned even hotter. "W-well, I'm a little slow sometimes."

He laughed. "You serious? You're the opposite of slow. I mean, you read me like an open book all the time. Pretty sure you do the same to just about anyone who walks into the shop."

"Yeah…" she trailed off. "But that's different."

"How?"

"…" She didn't answer. Instead, her eyes darted around the park as she frantically tried to find a change in subject. "So. Are we like… boyfriend and… girlfriend?"

He blinked before looking away. "I mean, that was sort of the goal, but I don't wanna pressure you." He scratched the back of his head. "Maybe, erm… friends that date?"

"Friends that date…?"

"Yeah! Friends that, well… date."

She stared at him in amusement. He was shifting nervously and was now staring intently at a different tree than he had been before.

"Dating friends?" Nitsuki teased.

He nodded his head. "Y-yeah! Dating friends. That's exactly it. Dating friends."

She laughed at his awkwardness, and quite frankly, hers too. "No. If we're going to do this, Tachibana, we're going to do this right."

Tachibana tensed up a little as she nervously enclosed his hand with both of hers. "Haha, um. Nia, like I said, I don't want you to feel pressured to—"

She gave him a quick peck on the lips before swiftly withdrawing.

"!" Tachibana froze, his face going scarlet.

Nitsuki's heart felt like it was trying to escape her chest. She felt dizzy. There was no going back at this point.

"I think that should be enough to um, make it official. Right?"

He didn't respond. He was just staring at her in shock.

"Um, Tachibana?"

"…" His face was still a tomato. "I'm sorry, but could we try… that again?"

Some primal part of her psyche screamed to throw herself at him immediately. However, she suppressed the urge just enough to nod out a response. 

She wanted to do this properly.

The two of them closed the distance slowly, deliberately, and very clumsily, but they closed the distance all the same.

Their lips touched intensely this time, not just a peck or light touch. Slowly, Nitsuki's inhibitions fell away as they cautiously explored each other.

It was more amazing than Nitsuki could ever imagine. Well, it was hella awkward since it was clear neither of them really knew what they were doing despite their age, but that was beside the point. Her entire body felt like a firework. Things just felt right. In fact, things felt so absolutely blissful that she didn't even really care that her downstairs neighbor was getting some very weird feelings at the moment. She'd deal with that later.

After a while, they pulled apart, their faces both extremely flushed. Tachibana's eyes were wide, and he seemed to be lost in a daze. Drool strung between their lips, and they both recoiled and wiped their mouths in embarrassment.

"Wooboy, that was uh, quite an experience," he said, his voice uneven. "Erm, that was my first one, so I'm sorry if I wasn't, um, that good."

She chuckled at that. "Hah, no, you don't have to worry. That was… great. Really." She smiled as her heart drummed in her chest. Sure, she was still in a bit of disbelief that this was even happening, but she'd never been happier in her whole damn life.

"So… not just dating friends then?"

Nitsuki steeled herself before responding. "Yes. I think the erm, other titles would probably fit a wee bit more." She held her fingers up like she was nearly pinching something for added effect.

Tachibana's face broke into a grin as his eyes lit up. "Yes! I mean, uh wow… Just wow." He took a shaky breath. "Sorry. Just need a moment."

She nodded in understanding as they sat in silence. Nitsuki was trying to catch her breath after that. She was sure that there was probably a better way to actually breathe better while kissing, but given enough time, perhaps they could figure it out.

Her eyes blinked. Huh, given enough time? Well, that was a thought.

A part of her began to rise up to shut out the idea, but she refused to let it take root. For once, she was happy. Actually happy. Not just pretending to be happy or masking her true emotions. No, she was legitimately and fully happy.

She glanced over to Tachibana. He stared blankly into nothing with a big, stupid, but completely adorable grin on his face.

Yeah. This entire thing just about sealed the deal for her.

She was done being Miss Denial.