Chapter 10

The alien world filled me with a strange calmness that I could neither understand nor define. But somehow, the need to dedicate extra power to my cognitive functions to solve the anomaly also disappeared.

I kept my focus on the task of breaking the ice from the landing gear of our probe, but it didn’t require my full capacity, and a part of me started to wonder if Eva had felt the same when she stood on Pluto’s surface for the first time.

It was rare for me to let my emotions flow freely, but being alone in this alien world made me feel safe enough to do it. There was no risk that my irrational actions would hurt someone or create a chain of events that I would regret afterwards, wishing that I had analysed all its potential outcomes before I committed myself to it.

Eva… I sighed and looked at the blue haze that shone in the sky, wishing I knew what she really felt. But a part of me knew that I would never gather enough data to understand her and take the most appropriate course of action. Why couldn't things stay as they had been, when both of us were happy in our newly-found friendship? When did the anomalies start to appear?

It wasn’t directly connected to the creeping boredom and monotony that had ended the good old times on the station. I still remember our long nights together, long after the others withdrew to their work and hobbies, and our dinners together became more and more infrequent until they almost completely disappeared.

No, it started later, but I couldn't find the exact time when it happened. My memory was better than that of humans, but even my quantum processor couldn’t record everything I experienced, and what it did record and store in my database, I could not access without a clear inquiry. So I felt lost again, not having any lead to move forward.

My systems flashed a warning, telling me that I had dedicated too much of my processing power to my thoughts, which had left me with only a 5% margin. If crossed, it could compromise my safety while performing this task. I switched on my cognitive functions and continued my work until the probe was free from ice. I reported it to Amin and stepped away as he tested the engines.

“Everything works, all systems green. Great job, Rea”, I heard his voice through the radio and I walked back to the shuttle.

I passed through the airlock, and I sat down heavily in my seat.

“Are you okay?” Amin asked, looking at me.

I stayed silent, watching the stars that shone through the blue haze outside the window.

“Ma az hich birun amadim,
setareh-ha ra manand ghabar pakhsh kardim…”,

he said quietly, and I nodded, silently repeating Rumi’s verse.

We came whirling out of nothingness,
scattering stars like dust...

We sat in silence for a few moments before Amin turned on the radio and said, “Mission control, this is Ceres DB49, ready for takeoff.”

“See you soon!”, Nhi’s voice echoed in the cabin as we launched the shuttle into the sky.