Our First Kiss

After that exhausting day, I was happy to finally meet up with Nela again. She was cute. That much was clear. And she liked me—for whatever reason.

I would have been happy to stay friends, but now, everything had changed. I wouldn't want to marry her as a friend. But... did that mean we were boyfriend and girlfriend?

"Hmm?" She looked at me with that big smile of hers.

I smiled back.

We were once again in her room. Our room? No, it was her room, clearly. Should I ask for my own room, then? But we were engaged now. Or, like, pre-engaged.

It was messing with my head, and not knowing just what exactly we were didn't help.

I knew that I wanted more out of this. I liked it when she hugged me, when she smiled at me. I wanted to touch her, to...

"Wat is los?"

"N-nothing."

I lifted my game controller, and nodded my head towards the screen. "I died again."

Really. I needed to learn the language, and fast. Even though I was completely exhausted after today, with learning from Meike and Sören’s surprise visit, I was happy that we had some time to ourselves. Nela behaved a little different, as well. Did she feel guilty for roping me into this?

Maybe she should, at least a little. I would have liked to know what was going on beforehand. I had made my decision now, and wouldn't go back on it, but a little more time to deliberate would have been great.

And now...

We couldn't go back to how we were before. We had almost kissed, after all—if Meike hadn't interrupted us. Would Nela still want to kiss, or had she just been so caught up in the moment?

There was no way I could ask her that, though. Not even if I spoke her language.

My heart was hammering in my chest, loud enough that Nela surely heard it, even over the game music. And if she didn't hear it, she must feel it. After all, she was leaning against me again, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. She had turned her head towards the screen again, and together, we were trying to solve another puzzle.

But tonight, we both were particularly bad at it. I was nervous, sure—there were just too many thoughts (and too many of them involving kissing her) swirling around my head to think of a solution. But I couldn't understand what was happening with her.

Over the last hour or so, she had managed to get closer and closer to me. She was now basically sitting in my lap, and I had a hard time seeing the screen. All around me was her warmth, her scent. I just wanted to lean into her, to breathe it all in.

Creep.

I shook my head, trying to let go of these thoughts. I didn't even know why Nela was doing this! She had been rather open with her touchiness from the beginning, so I didn't want to interpret anything else into that.

But I also really, really wanted to kiss her.

It was torture. Trying to focus on the game while my mind was occupied with other things. Nela wasn't doing much better, so we both went into the same rooms time and time again, searching for items.

Horrible. Idiot. Creep.

But I also didn't distance myself from her. She was both too close and not close enough. At least she couldn't see the heat creeping into my face. My whole body was pulsing. Was this the best, or the worst, gaming session we had? I couldn't tell.

"Haaahh... Ik weet nech..." Nela sighed, and leaned back.

I barely managed to get my controller out of the way before she was suddenly leaning against me. She looked at me with her big, bright eyes. In the darkness of the room, with only the artificial light from the screen, it was difficult to see - but I was pretty sure she was blushing, as well.

For a moment, we just stared into each other's faces. It was as if I was frozen. I wanted to say something, do something - kiss her. But no muscle in my body moved. My heart pounded. I couldn't even hear the ocean over the blood rushing in my ears. And I simply got lost in her eyes.

This moment didn't need any words. It didn't need any thoughts, either, and as we both leaned forward (slowly, ever so slowly) any tought that was left finally vanished.

She was beautiful.

Our faces were close, closer, closer, until I could feel her breath on my lips. My heart hammered all thoughts out of my head. And then I closed my eyes.

Her lips were even softer than I had imagined them.

I didn't know what I expected from a kiss - after all, it was just our lips touching, nothing more - but that soft sensation blew every thought away. For a moment, my world started and ended with her lips. Everything else faded away.

When we parted, it felt like I had forgotten how to breathe. I blinked, as if I had just woken from an afternoon-long nap. Nela looked at me, her face surely as red as mine.

Only then did I notice that our hands were intertwined. When did that happen?

"Ah..."

It felt like I should say something. Do something. But what? How?

She smiled at me, but I could see a hint of worry on her face. Did she not like kissing me? Or was she worried I didn't like it?

It was difficult to think. There was only one thing I wanted: to kiss her again.

I could see myself in her eyes. Staring at her, with my mouth hanging half open. I must look like an idiot.

"Uh..."

Not helping my case, I thought. What could I do?

A person smarter than me would have thought of something. Maybe a deep look into her eyes, maybe some words she might not know, but could understand the intent behind them. Maybe some grand gesture I simply was too stupid to think of.

I, instead, opted for the thumbs-up again.

Nela broke into laughter. I froze again. Of course. I had screwed up—who would react like that? Twice in a day? I was so stupid. I was-

She leaned forward again, and her lips met mine. Suddenly, I could see only her hair, and then, I closed my eyes again. Our embrace only got closer. She was everywhere - my whole world, if only for this moment. And her lips...

I couldn't think. Couldn't do anything.

For this moment, I let go of all my doubts, my fears, my thoughts. There was only Nela. The world, once more, melted away.

We parted, and Nela snuggled up even closer to me. She was right here, in my arms. We had just kissed. I recounted these facts, again and again, to burn them into my memory.

This was real. This was happening.

The game had been forgotten. My character was still running into a wall, while her stood still next to some bug she had found. And that was completely fine with us.