the new light on his life,

Bernard was on his way back home. it was hard to tell if the bright light illuminating his heart was from the sun or the girl who was like a sun to him.

Bernard was still greatly attached to his childhood friend. but there was some sort of connection slowly, but for sure growing inside his heart. Bernard calls his only friend. he wants to let him know about the fairy he found. but midway sentences he stops. he couldn't bring himself to let anyone else know his greatest secret.

his fear came from the realization that letting her true be known, may scare her off. he couldn't think of a world without her. even if it was just by a single day, or less than that. he has become a person incapable of surviving a cold world where she isn't present. 

before going home, he stops at the local library. he tries to find books about fairies. he searches for books about all supernatural. he was about to pull around ten books. he looks at a book in the floor. he stares at it for a second. he reads the title and then ignores the book. it was about politics and stuff alike.

the library is small. there are constant customers like Bernard. there are times in which there are quite the quantity of people searching for certain books. but today it was mostly empty. there were only another seven people aside from Bernard. 

Bernard reads as many books as he needs. the local library is so quiet, calm, and peaceful. the old man who owns the library knows Bernard too well. Bernard is a loyal client. after two hours of reding, he looks at the time in the clock. he shakes in shock. he stands up, grabs two books and goes back home. 

on the way back home, he stares at the sky. he thinks about her. there is a new reason to live. so many new and fresh emotions to consider. he can't stop thinking about her. the life he once believed to be black and white, has a new flavor. 

Bernard gets home. his smile is erased as soon as he gets home. he opens the door. there is no one to welcome him. Bernard takes few steps carefully. he gets to the kitchen. there is pizza in a table that is barely warm. Bernard sits down to eat. after every bite he felt the taste, but there was something else. it was a bitterness. he felt his tears falling. he felt so lonely.

after few slices he was done. he went to the bathroom to take a shower. then he went to his room to keep reading. at some point a noise alarms him that his mom is home. they used to be a united family when his dad was alive. but now his mother doesn't seem to give a fuck. she just works to live, and lives to work. they no longer feel like a family.

"Son, are you there." asks an emotionless mom. 

"I don't know. am I? ambiguous is our existential curiosity. ferocious is the frustration that comforts the ideal imperfection. who we are is not a matter about our appearance or our superficial identity. who we are invokes our emotions, the identity that we hide in the depth of our consciousness. so, as a matter of fact I don't even know if I am truly here, or not." whispers a hurt Bernard embracing a book tightly.

Bernard stops reading. he tries to do his homework. he looks at the clock in his room. he has a worn-out wooden desk that used to belong to his dad. a small bed with gray sheets. there are barely any decorations on his room. what he has for sure is a bookshelf filled up with books. there are few posters about science around the walls.

Bernard leaves his room. he goes to the bathroom. he washes his face and hands. he then goes to the kitchen. he looks at the last two slices. he takes one. one bite after another one he eats it slowly trying to think without thinking. it is unclear how he truly feels around home or is that even a home. what kind of home makes you feel empty and guilty. 

he goes to the living room. in there his mother lies down on a gray sofa. she is knockout. there are some bottles of liquor around the floor. Bernard smiles in a bitter way. there are things he wishes to say, to do. there are emotions he hides deep within himself. he feels like a dreadful impostor living in a skin or life that doesn't belong to him. 

a tear falls from his eyes. Bernard smiles coldly. he turns around and goes back to his room. he lies down on his bed. the only thing that makes life meaningful now days is a strange girl. and Bernard doesn't even know if he would see her again. he can feel it as a certain fact that she is coming back to school tomorrow. but you never know for sure.

Bernard tries to fall asleep. there are thoughts. ideas. and memories stopping him from finding rest as he closes his eyes. more tears keep coming out. he trembles in fear. the anxiety stops him from finding rest at all.

a single call brings in color to his pale face. Bernard answers immediately. the voice of his good old friend Martin brings joy to his eyes. they talk together for some time about random stuff. mostly about equations and science. 

"So, what you think? were Dinosaurs giant lizards? or were they giant chickens?" asks Martin.

"No, I call it bullshit the theory proven truth or not of them having feathers." answers Bernard.

"Come on Bern. haven't you thought that maybe there is some truth to a theory if more than one person agrees to it. also, there is some proof found to back it up."

"Nah. that has to be bullshit. what comes next? hairy lizards with white long mustaches?"

"Fuck you, don't you dare disrespect my dragons."

"Your dragons? are you even Asian to call them your dragons?"

"No. but those dragons are damn cool."

"I mean you are right about that. but don't forget that the best dragons are water dragons."

"You damn nerd. how dare you be so boring." said Martin joking around.

"Hey. resentful much just because I am the better looking one of the two. I mean, it isn't my fault to have better looks than you." said Bernard laughing.

their friendly argument lasted for another two hours until the call ended. Bernard was excited about what the future awaits tomorrow. the wind was extremely cold that night.

agitated hearts may not know of the future that comes knocking furiously. but be aware as peace doesn't come for breathing beings. peace is but a concept unknown to human nature. as peace is foreign to our mortal embrace. peace is the concept that makes man out of beast. peace, the one thing everyone desires, but no one understands.

3 days later.

Bernard wakes up. he is sweating. he takes his glasses off. he sits down. then he goes to the bathroom to take a shower. he went to the empty table to have eggs, bacon and coffee for breakfast. then he went to school ready for another uneventful day.

he was starting to suspect that it was all but a product of his imagination once he was unable to find the fairy. in the middle of class, the teacher presents a new student. it was no other than the fairy. she was so gorgeous.

"My name is Grace Green..." 

he finally learned her name. he was in trance thinking about yesterday and tomorrow. life was just for once. sweeter than ever was that especial morning.