Then They Disappear

I can never get used to how people die. Even natural causes are unnerving, what with their reward for living an anticlimactic end. However, being immortal is worse. Everyone else leaves you behind until only you remain in that empty universe – a lonely existence spanning an eternity.

What about rebirth or regression? Well, if you manage to change your life for the better, that’s great. But is it really that simple? Books tend to portray those who have the drive and desire to do so, but what about the countless people that don’t? They may lead a similar or worse life, unable to do anything – the type of story that no one wants to read. Though, I guess my story is the same as theirs.

After all…

Tick.

Winter slowed as spring began to take over. The green grass began to poke through the white sea. The trees regained their vernal luster. Flowers bloomed, splotching the landscape with a mix of colors. Or, at least, that’s what I assumed would happen. However, reality had other plans.

Even as the temperature rose, melting the leftover snow, there was no greenery. The leaves were absent as well, leaving behind the dirty brown horizon. Only the sky glowed a sickly green as the dot swallowed up the sun. It seemed that whatever was affecting the residents also infected every living thing, as though the world itself gave credence to its inevitable finale.

The lively cheers and incessant clamoring was no longer present as we walked through the streets. Although this place wasn’t a ghost town yet, it was already one in essence. Nearly all of the residents fell ill, with those still healthy already exhibiting the initial symptoms. None of them were in any condition to travel. Andrea and Robert remained in decent health, but I could see their weariness growing.

If we decided to stay behind and help the residents, we would be watching them die. On the other hand, if we left, it would be the same. The only difference was the reason behind their guilt. It was a lose-lose situation no matter how you sliced it. So, I left the decision up to them.

Tick.

“I’ll… leave. There’s a better chance we can find some kind of cure out in the world…” Andrea answered first. Her attitude matured over the last half year. It felt like I was talking to a middle-aged woman instead of a student. Spending time with the children had helped her come to terms with her friend’s death. Of course, I still saw her dazing at the sky every so often, but nowadays, she had a lonely smile – much better than a pained one.

“I want to stay, but…” Robert hesitantly spoke, choking out his words. “... I’ll go with you too. I’ve done all I can. Plus, I don’t think the others would want me to die alongside them,” he said with a nervous smile. I was worried that he would break like Andrea, but his will knew no bounds. After sobbing through the night, he slapped his face and doubled down on his efforts to help those who remained. It was inspiring in a way, yet I was envious at the same time.

Tick.

After making our decision, we took as much food and other necessities as we could carry to the train; the townspeople wouldn’t be able to use it all anymore. I thought the train might fail with all that heavy snowfall, but a quick test showed that everything was working properly. Diesel wouldn’t be an issue either; we had more than enough to make it to the next country over.

We made one final round, saying goodbye to those still alive and a small prayer for the others. Taking the survivors wasn’t an option, and everyone else opted to stay behind. They had nowhere else to go, and they probably sensed that the end was coming soon. Still, even through the tears, they smiled with an unfettered warmth. These people were too…no. I should leave it at that. That determination was their show of strength. I shouldn’t think about undermining their resolve.

Tick.

We got on the train and slowly rolled out of the station. There was no fanfare or waving crowd of spectators, only a silent, empty station — a husk of its previously worn appearance. Even the rows of houses as we passed appeared frozen in time. In a few months, not even that would be left behind.

Yet, their stories would stay with me forever, almost haunting my every move. The children would run alongside the train as it continued while the elders watched from the passenger seats. A slight scent of vegetables mixed with manure permeated through my nose. The elders’ unintelligible words scolded the children as they laughed. Although their faces would blur over time, I would never forget the feelings behind them. Sometimes, when I was at a low, their deadly pallor might resurface, trying to throw me into despair. However, I had to keep moving forward, just like I did before, reliving the first, and last, year of my life until I met my end.

And so, the town disappeared into the brown horizon, probably never to be seen again. Robert kept looking off in the distance, muttering to himself with a sad yet resolute expression. Andrea took her familiar position in the middle of the passenger car, doing the same but for a different reason. The lingering silence was less awkward and more apprehensive, venturing towards the unknown. Were the other cities and towns still fighting, or had they succumbed to the same illness? How much longer until Andrea and Robert were incapacitated? An inevitable conclusion lied ahead, but like my previous lives, I began to embrace it. Complaining about human fallacy, the apocalypse, or the future was pointless. It wouldn’t change anything.

I had to take in the world as it truly was instead of foisting my preconceptions on the familiar path they all walked. That was the last thing I could do with the time I had left.

Tick.