Chapter Two: Hailstorm

It had been one whole night since then. Sora lay on his bed, thinking about everything that had happened that night. How he met Saki, how they went around exploring the whole city, and how she helped him overcome his denial of the truth. It had indeed been a surreal experience, so much so that he now wondered whether it was just a dream.

I mean, it just feels too good to be true.

Even though he was still skeptical, Sora knew that something inside him had changed - something he would not have been able to do himself. He had now come face-to-face with the truth of his best friend Yuzuki’s death. He knew that he could not have done that alone. And yet, he had. This could only mean one thing.

Everything that had happened to the previous night was true.

Sora sat up and leaned against the wall. He felt oddly at peace tonight. Of course, he was still a long way from being whole. But the adventures of the previous night now made him feel lighter, like a huge burden being dropped from his chest. He glanced at the framed photo of him and Yuzuki up on the table. That same photo had been turned downwards for a long time. It was just recently that Sora had decided to put it back up.

It was a photo of them from their childhood - a photo of them having fun at an amusement park. Sora looked at himself within that photo. It was the same person, yet it felt so different. As if he was looking at an alternate version of himself. A world where he was still happy, a world where he was still whole, a world where maybe… Yuzuki was alive.

The window of his room rattled violently. The strong wind blowing outside brought Sora back to reality. He couldn’t let his thoughts get the better of him like that. Shaking his head to wipe away all of his intrusive thoughts, he got up from bed and walked over to the balcony.

There was an unusually strong wind blowing tonight - an indication of a storm. Sora looked up at the sky. There was no moonlight, nor any stars visible. In fact, the sky was totally dark, obscured by black clouds. Sora could hear thunder rumbling from within the clouds. He stayed and stared at the pitch black clouds, taking in the chaos of the sky, as the wind enveloped him.

As the sky kept grumbling, Sora’s thoughts circled back to Saki. Unknowingly, he blurted out, “Wonder what she’s doing now?”

Was she also at her home? Or was she out like always, planning to soak in the approaching rain?

Sora didn’t know. In fact, there was very little that he did know about her, aside from the fact that they were both insomniacs with pasts that still haunted them to this day. He barely knew anything about her, and yet she made him feel a sense of relief just by being there with him. No matter how much he tried, he could not understand why he felt so drawn to Saki.

Whatever it was, there was no denying that Sora felt an inexplicable urge to meet her again. He wanted to go out into the night like always, but the impending storm stopped him from doing so. It was so dark that Sora could barely see his surroundings. There was absolutely no way that he would be able to walk around without a flashlight.

Guess I’ll just stay home, he said to himself, as he went back inside. 

Needless to say, Sora still felt lonely. The darkness embedded deep within his heart still hadn’t subsided. But tonight, he didn’t feel so restless. Closing the door of the balcony, he leaned against it, feeling the glass rattle by the force of the wind. The rain and wind would be his only company tonight.

Soon, it started to rain. Amidst the heavy downpour and thunder, Sora went back to bed. With nothing else to do, he lay down and stared at the picture of Yuzuki on the table, hoping that she would still keep him company.

If only I could meet her one more time, Sora talk to himself.

If only… I could go back in time.

If only… I could save her.

There were countless things he wished to do - countless regrets to bury, if given the chance. But he couldn’t let regret consume him yet again. Saki had shown him a way out of it. He couldn’t let her efforts be in vain, could he?

Bang! A flash of thunder roared.

But then again, did Sora even have anything other than his regret? Did he even have a better way to live other than holding onto this? All this time, he had filled in the emptiness in his heart with regret. Was there any way to completely let go of that regret and start anew?

Bang! Another flash of thunder echoed, as the rain now swerved and hit his windows with much force.

Saki had said that he could move forward with life. But all he had done that night was cry. All he had done was understand the truth. Nothing else. Was there really a way out of this? If so, then what was it?

Sora couldn’t find an answer. Once again, he felt lost. Feeling defeated, he blankly stared at the picture of Yuzuki.

Bang! Another wave of thunder echoed - this time the loudest.

It was then—at that very moment that Sora felt something snap inside him. Suddenly, the picture on the table felt very odd to him. The whole world around him started to converse. A strange darkness consumed everything, and he felt everything slip away from his grasp.

NO!, he cried out in his mind, unable to do anything else.

And right at that moment, as his eyes widened in shock and his throat dried up, he finally remembered.

Everything.

2

“Ding-dong-ding-ding!!!”

A loud  bell rang throughout the school grounds, signaling the end of the day. One by one, students excitedly got out of the school building, some making their way to their clubs, and others on their way home. Amidst the crowd of students, one girl could be seen running around happily, as a boy followed closely.

“Yay! School's finally over!” the girl excitedly let out, her beautiful golden hair dancing around as she kept running. “Let’s go to karaoke!”

“Calm down, will you?” the boy behind her cried, exasperated by the girl's antics, but clearly enjoying her company. With a small smile, he continued, “School just ended. How the hell do you even get the energy to jump around like this?”

The girl turned around. With a finger on her chin, she said, “Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe it’s because we can finally go home?”

“What are you, a homesick kid?” the boy said, laughing.

“Maybe?” the girl said, tilting her head to a side, playing along with the joke. “More importantly, let’s go have some fun!”

She reached out to grab his hand. Then she started to run.

“H-hey! Calm down!” the boy cried out, surprised.

“No, I won’t!” the girl replied in a bubbly voice as she dragged him along. “You’re coming with me!”

Sigh.

Not having much of a say in the matter, the boy followed. Even though the girl was forcibly dragging him along, he didn’t seem to mind. After all, who didn’t enjoy fooling around with their best friend?

It was an average summer afternoon. The sun had started to set, painting the whole sky a bright orange. A soft breeze was blowing, making for an ambient scenery. Amidst all this, the boy and the girl ran through, reveling in the wonders of summer.

The boy smiled as the girl happily pulled him along. He treasured every moment with her, and this was no different. As he ran along with her, he found himself saying,

I wish these days never end.

The girl’s laughter rang like bells in his ears. As they approached a crosswalk, the boy called out to her, “Hey, Yuzuki. Calm down already, will ya’?”

The girl— Hoshinomiya Yuzuki—nodded, as they came to a stop near the traffic light, now glowing red.

“Phew, that was fun!” Yuzuki said with a smile, as the boy struggled to catch his breath. “Don’t you think so too, Sora-kun?”

“Nah, that was a royal pain. All thanks to you.” 

“Geez, you’re no fun!” Yuzuki said, pouting.

“Oh, is that so?” The boy—Kanashiro Sora— taunted. “Then whose idea was it to go to karaoke in the first place, huh?”

“Well, that’s… uh, well…”

“Got you, didn’t I?” Sora said with a laugh as Yuzuki fidgeted. “What’re we waiting for, then? Let’s go!”

“Yay!” Yuzuki cried out happily. “Let’s run!”

“No, thank you very much! I’m fine with just walking. Not everyone everyone’s got the same energy as you, you know.”

“Alright~”, she said like an upset kid.

As the light glowed green, they started crossing over to the other side of the road. Walking slowly, they felt the cool breeze brush past them. It was a peaceful day, with nothing out of the ordinary taking place. Sora and Yuzuki enjoyed their day as they walked over to the karaoke place.

Gazing up at the sky, Sora said, “Wouldn't it be amazing if we could just fly away into the horizon?”

“Hmm? Yeah, you’re right. But why are you suddenly talking about this? What, you feeling too bored with life?” Yuzuki smirked, trying to taunt him.

“Nope. Just enjoying the view,” Sora replied calmly, eyes still on the sky.

“O-oh…” Yuzuki muttered, as her attempt at taunting him failed.

“By the way, have you heard about Yamada-San?” Sora asked after a slight pause. “She says she saw a ghost near the infirmary yesterday.”

“A ghost?” Yuzuki echoed, curious.

“Yeah,” Sora replied with a laugh. “Weird, right? I mean, a ghost? No way they’re real.”

“Hmm…” Yuzuki mumbled, drowning in thought. “So what would you do if I were a ghost?”

“You? Let’s see…Oh, I got it! I’d parade you around as a ghost so that nobody would ever come trouble me again. Of course, you’d be the one shouldering all the responsibility to protect me,” he said with a mischievous smile.

“Wh-what?!” Yuzuki cried out, surprised at his reply. “Why do I have to do all the tough work for you, Sora-kun?!”

“Isn’t that what best friends do?” Sora replied nonchalantly.

“E-even so, isn’t this a bit much…?”

“Hey, hey. Cheer up! I was just kidding, Yuzuki. No way I could get away with doing that. Even if I did, you’d just haunt me and put a stupid curse on me, wouldn’t ya’?”

“Of course I would,” Yuzuki shot back with a smile.

“Hey. Don’t just confirm all that with a straight face. I do want to live a peaceful life, you know.” 

At this, Yuzuki just laughed. Sora fondly gazed at her, not saying anything else.

They soon came across another crosswalk. There weren’t any vehicles around, and the traffic light was green. That gave Sora an idea.

“Tell you what. Let’s race to the other side. Whoever loses has to pay for all the snacks!”

Yuzuki smiled mischievously. “Oh-ho, I see what you mean. Okay then, let’s do it! You’re gonna lose to the ultimate genius, Hoshinomiya Yuzuki anyway!”

“Yeah, yeah. Can it,” Sora retorted with a grin. “We all know that you’re gonna be the one losing!”

“Is that so?” Yuzuki shot back proudly. “Alright then. Let’s do it right now! You do the countdown!”

As they both readied themselves to run, Sora took a breath and started counting. 

“Ready…set… GO!”

Yuzuki short across the road, wasting no time to get to the other side of the crosswalk. As soon as she reached the destination, she looked back, ready to taunt him. But what she saw completely surprised her.

Sora hadn’t moved at all. Instead, he stood right where he was, laughing heartily. It was then that Yuzuki realized that she had been pranked.

“Sora-kun, you idiot!” she yelled angrily.

As he laughed, Sora said, “Sorry about that! But hey, at least you won the race, right? Come on, cheer up!”

“No, I won’t!!”

“Okay, okay. I got it. Sorry for pranking you. Now stay right there, I’m coming over!”

“No, you stay right there! I’m coming over!”

“…” 

It seemed Yuzuki was genuinely mad, so Sora kept quiet. She slowly made her way over to him through the empty road.

It happened right then. Unbeknownst to both of them, a car dashed through the road at a very high speed. None of them noticed it. And then, suddenly—

Yuzuki went flying through the asphalt onto the pavement.

“…Yu…zuki?” Sora called out, still not understanding what just happened.

Yuzuki lay on the ground, unresponsive. Her golden hair lay around haphazardly. Blood started flowing from her side, dying her hair a twisted shade of red.

Still not understanding what truly happened, Sora made his way over to Yuzuki, his legs trembling.

“Hey, Yuzuki?” he croaked, closing in on her.

And then—he saw it. Yuzuki’s body, crumpled up and drenched in blood.

“N-no…” 

The shock was too great for Sora to handle. His knees gave away as he fell to the ground. Yuzuki blank eyes stared back at him, cold and empty. 

“No… no, NO!! Yuzuki, wake up! Yuzuki… YUZUKI!!!!!”

At that moment, everything changed.

Nothing else mattered anymore……

3

The rain swerved with the wind and hit the glass window. Amidst the chaos of the storm, Sora set scrunched up on his bed, clutching his head with both hands.

Nothing felt real to him anymore. Not after what he had just remembered. It was the complete, unfiltered truth of what really happened that day, one year ago.

As his thoughts spiraled out of control, Sora felt himself growing cold. The sound of the rain now felt like shards of glass latching onto his heart, making it bleed. He forcefully grabbed his hair with his hands, his breath fading. His face grew pale, and his throat dried up. Only his mind remained active.

It’s all… My fault.

That day, everything… All of it… Was my fault.

I… Let her die. I did it.

I… killed her.

I made her run to her death.

I did it.

I did it.

It was my fault. All of it… is my fault.

MyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultmyfaultMYFAULTMYFAULT!! 

The rain slowly came to a stop. The wind started to die out as well, as it gave his window, one last rattle. Everything went quiet. As his vision slowly narrowed, Sora felt only one thing.

Rage. Hatred. Betrayal.

And all of it, was directed towards himself.

He felt his fist lock in as he bit his lip. Blood started pouring out of his mouth. But it didn’t matter anymore. This was what he deserved. This was what should’ve happened to him.

He didn’t deserve peace and quiet.

He didn’t deserve to be left alone.

He didn’t deserve to have a second chance.

No. Of course not. Not after what he had done.

The only thing that he deserved… was pain.

“AAAAAHHHHH!” he wailed, as he punched himself down to the floor. He couldn’t contain himself any longer. And why should he? As rage to cover his entire body, he started punching the floor.

Bam. Bam. Bam.

He kept punching the floor, as tears started flowing down uncontrollably from his eyes. He felt his hands hurt, but he didn’t stop. He screamed, and he punched. That was all he could even do.

He raised his hand upwards for one big impact. But before he could hit the floor, his foot slipped, and he stumbled down.

Even though it hurt all over, Sora didn’t get up. He had just lost all of his strength, all of his willpower. As he cried desperately, the only thing he wanted to do was disappear.

The night silently carried on, its winds taking away the helpless cries of the despairing boy.

4

“Somewhere around here, I think?”

It had been two whole nights since she had first met Sora. Now, Saki was going through the city on her own. Since it didn’t rain today, she felt like she would be able to meet him again if she waited long enough.

She now stood on a crosswalk, waiting for him. It hadn’t been that long since midnight, so she had a feeling that she would be seeing him soon. She quietly stood in the middle of the road, deep in thought.

Suddenly, she felt a sense of danger sweep through her. She looked around, trying to understand what it was.

“…Sora-kun…”

She felt worried about him. She didn’t know why, but she felt like he was about to do something drastic. She immediately took off, searching for the tallest building in the vicinity.

“Please be safe, Sora-kun. I can’t waste this chance…”

5

There was no breeze, not any rain tonight. The night was completely silent. There were a lot of stars shining in the sky, but none of them held the same glow in his eyes. Everything around him felt dark and empty, with no trace of warmth.

Sora stood on the ledge of the roof of a building. He looked down towards the ground. There was a huge distance between him and the ground. He wondered whether the fall would be fatal or not.

Then, Sora looked back up - this time, up towards the sky. His thoughts circled back to something Saki had said two nights prior.

“The stars represent hope, huh?” he said self-deprecatingly. “No wonder they don’t feel the same.”

He clenched his fists, and gazed downwards once more. A myriad of thoughts raced through his mind as he prepared himself.

This is the end, right?

Once I do this, it’ll all be over, right?

I’ll be able to see her again, wouldn’t I?

Yeah. That’s right. I just have to do this, and everything’s gonna be fine. 

But wait.

What will I do if I do see her again?

…Huh?

Won’t she… be angry?

Won’t she… won’t she… huh?

As his thoughts kept spiraling further out of control, Sora started feeling numb. Slowly, reality started to fade away from around him. As everything grew darker, he let go of himself, ready to fall into the abyss.

“You CAN’T!”

A loud voice of a girl rang out across the darkness. Sora then felt someone grab onto him, pulling him towards themselves.

“Sora-kun… you can’t… do this!!” the voice wheezed as it struggled to pull him back up. 

It all happened to suddenly for Sora to process. He didn’t even understand what was happening until he was completely pulled up. As he remained sitting on the floor, he gazed up to see who it was that had pulled him up.

It was Saki.

Right then, Sora felt something start bubbling inside him.

Why?

Why did you have to come here?

Why did you have to pull me up?

Why? WhywhywhywhywhyWHYWHY?!

Even though there was a hailstorm raging on in Sora’s mind, Saki stayed quiet. Swiftly and silently, she took his hand and gently hoisted him up.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Sora-kun,” she  morosely said, her eyes locked onto his. “It wouldn’t have solved anything.”

She squeezed his hand tightly, prompting Sora to look up at her.

Hearing no reply from him, Saki continued, “Let’s go somewhere else and talk about it.” She nudged him forward.

However, Sora forcibly jerked his hand away from her.

“Sora-kun—“

“—Talk about it?” Sora said in a rough voice. “What’s there to talk about?!”

Saki opened her mouth to say something, but Sora cut across her.

“What would you know, huh? In the first place, why did you even come up here and stop me? Why did you have to stop me? I didn’t even ask for your help! So WHY?!” 

“Because,” Saki started, her expression a mix of sadness and desperation. “I want you to move on. I just—“

“WHY WOULD ANY OF THAT MATTER?!” Sora yelled at her, his eyes bloodshot, his body trembling. “WHY DO YOU GET TO DECIDE WHAT I’LL DO, HUH? WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! NOTHING! YOU DON’T EVEN KNOW ME! SO WHY?! WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GET IN MY WAY?! WHY, SAKI?! WHY?!” 

Unable to control himself, Sora crumpled onto the ground. With no strength left in his body, he started to cry. His eyes were down on the ground. He couldn’t bring himself to look up at Saki.

Faced with the sudden outburst, Saki stayed quiet. She let Sora get everything out of your system before saying anything.

As Sora cried, Saki crouched down and took his hands. They were battered and bruised - a sign that he had taken to self-harm. The truth of the situation filled her with an intangible sorrow.

Gently, she squeezed his hands, and said, “Please, Sora-kun. Trust in me. Please just… come with me.”

She guided him up. Even then, Sora couldn’t look her in the eyes. Nothing around him felt normal to him. Not even Saki’s gentle voice.

Sora felt a powerful darkness take over him. Something that changed the entire way he saw everything. Now, everywhere he looked was black and white. Colorless, with no emotions—with no meaning.

He only felt an immense wave of hate. Not towards the world, not towards Saki, but towards himself.

He was angry at himself for letting Yuzuki die. And that was why he felt consumed by darkness. A darkness that numbed his existence. And he told him only one thing.

“Atone.”

That was all he had been trying to do. There was only one way he could possibly atone - only one way to answer for his sin. But he was stopped by Saki. With no other way to atone, he let himself be taken away by her.

It was a moonlight night. The residue of the rain from a few hours ago gave everything a vivid glisten. The small puddles of water here and there reflected the sparkle of the stars from above. The moon shined its light upon the world, smearing it in a dreamy feel. Among all this, Saki and Sora quietly kept walking to their destination.

As the storm inside Sora’s mind raged on, Saki calmly guided him along. He did didn’t know where she was taking him. He never did. But he felt this his body resign itself to her. And so, he stayed quiet, and let Saki do her thing.

She took him to a big park near the western side of the city.

“We’re almost here,” she said, in that same wistful tone as before.

The park they were in was the biggest in the whole city. Wide, spacious fields spread out as far as the eye could see, encompassed by thick, shady trees. There wasn’t much lighting around, allowing for a dark, yet somewhat mystical atmosphere. The moon and the stars brightened up the place, which helped Saki and Sora walk forward.

Saki stopped and looked around for a bit. She spotted a patch of higher ground and headed towards it, bringing Sora along with her.

“Let’s sit down,” she said as soon as they reached the top. She let go of Sora’s hand and sat down on the grass, beckoning him to do the same. He quietly followed.

There was something different about Saki tonight. The previous night, she was almost always cheerful and talkative. But tonight, she was quiet, reserved, and sad - as if the distance between them had widened. Sora tried to think why.

Is this also my fault?, he asked himself, as his fists curled up again. Yeah, it has to be! Of course. There’s no other explanation. It’s all my fau—

“—Sora-kun,” Saki called out suddenly, turning towards him. Her eyes held that same serious look as that time on the cliffside. “Would you please listen to what I have to say?”

Unlike any other person, Saki didn’t reprimand him for being rash. Instead, she wished to understand his pain, to talk about it. She didn’t turn herself away from him, even after all that he did. She didn’t blame him either. She only wanted to help. Sora nodded. 

Saki’s expression softened. Hugging her knees, she gazed up towards the sky. Taking a breath, she started, “Um, well… this all happened when we were younger. Back when we were still in elementary school, I saw a group of boys bullying that person. Initially, it wasn’t that severe, you know. But slowly, they started to get more and more rash with him. They would leave him alone once I got involved. But I realized that those boys would only pester him even more whenever I was away. Even so, he didn’t retaliate against them. Not even once.

He always stayed calm, even when he was being bullied. I tried to do whatever I could, from getting the teachers involved to even calling their parents. And slowly, the bullying stopped. Some of the bullies even transferred out.” She stopped to catch her breath. With a forlorn smile, she continued,

“One day, I couldn’t go to school because we had to go to our aunt’s house. I had plans to meet with him right after I got back. But when I did, I found him hiding on his building’s rooftop, crying. You see, right after I left, the bullies had found him again. And this time, they took things too far. I saw bruises on his face and hands. I couldn’t do anything to help when he needed it the most and I just…

At that moment, I just felt angry. Not at the bullies, but I was angry at myself for not being able to save him. I wanted to punch myself for being so useless. I felt like… killing myself.”

…Huh?

There it was again—that strange sense of similarity. Sora felt like Saki was holding a mirror to his soul. It seemed that the hailstorm of hate inside his heart was something even Saki understood deeply.

He couldn’t help himself but ask, “Wh-what happened next?”

Saki fidgeted for a while, but continued on regardless. “At that moment, I felt a lot of different things race through my mind. How things could’ve been different if I had just stayed with him. I stood there, blaming myself for everything that happened. But then, he… he came up to me and thanked me. He thanked me for helping him, even though I couldn’t do anything. He even apologizing to me for getting me involved.

I couldn’t believe myself. Even though I felt like I couldn’t do anything to help him, he still said that me being there with him was enough for him. Even though I felt completely useless, he said that me just staying there  with him was enough support for him. It was then that I understood that my rage was pointless. Only then did I actually realize what I needed to do. I just needed to be there with him. Nothing else.

So, what I meant to say was… that, um, we all need a second chance, Sora-kun. You may feel like everything that happened is your fault, but hey, things happen in this world that are out of our control. It’s just… no use blaming yourself for all of that. Just think about it, Sora-kun. It’s not your fault.”

It’s not… my fault?

What Saki has said just now felt so strange to him that he had to think about it. Sora tried to remember all of his memories with Yuzuki. Even when they were kids, he had caused a lot of problems for her. Yet, not once did she ever blame him for anything. She always looked so… happy spending time with him. Even until her final moments, she was cheerful and bubbly.

However, Yuzuki was no longer here with him. He had no way of knowing whether or not she actually did blame him. It had to be his fault. After all, if he had pulled the same trick on someone else, wouldn’t they blame him? Wouldn’t they hate him?

Of course they would.

Unable to let go of his anger, Sora curled up. In a trembling voice, he said, “H-how, Saki? How can you be so sure that it isn’t my fault? That day, all of it, was done by me. If I hadn’t pulled that stupid prank, if only I had stuck with her, she would’ve been alive. She would’ve been okay! I got her in that accident, Saki! Me! Of course, she hates me now! And even if she didn’t, how would I know? That’s why, I have to answer from my sin! I have to!”

Saki shook her head. In that same, sorrowful tone, she said, “It’s not like that at all, Sora-kun. It’s not. Please, just think about it. Would you ever hate your friend if your positions were reversed?”

“… If our positions were reversed?”

Saki nodded. “What if you were the one who died in that accident? Would you ever hate your friend for that? Would you resent her forever for that?”

“I…”

Sora tried to think about it. Really, what would he have done if it was he who had succumbed to that accident that day? What would he have done if it was he who was dying while Yuzuki survived?

Would he have hated her for pulling that prank?

Would he have cursed her for surviving in his final moments?

Or would he have been thankful instead?

As the questions kept piling on in his head, Sora struggled to find an answer.

Saki then moved in close to him. Taking his hand, she gently said, “I know you’re confused. That’s why, please let me help you. Let me take you to a place where you can find an answer, Sora-kun.”

…Where I can find an answer…

Sora knew that Saki held the key to his questions. It was her who had helped him find a solution that night. Surely she could help him now as well.

As he slowly nodded, Saki helped him up. “Follow me,” she gently said, her voice like a soft ripple across still water.

This time, she didn’t take his hand and pull him along. Instead, she let Sora himself make the final decision. This time, she let him decide whether he would even find an answer. And so, he stood up, and looking Saki in the eye, said, “Okay… let’s go.”

Nodding slightly, Saki turned her back and started walking forward. Sora followed.

The somber night moved on. As the stars played around in the vast canvas of the night sky, the moon became a flashlight for them. There was no breeze around, however. Saki walked on with quick, graceful steps while Sora followed, his steps unsteady, his mind in a frenzy.

Why was Saki helping him so much? What did he mean to her? Was he really worth saving? Could he really believe her - believe that none of what happened that day was his fault? He had to ask her.

“Hey, Saki,” he called out, unsure of whether he should say it out loud. “Why are you helping me out like this?”

With her back still turned on him, she calmly replied, “Hmm… I don’t know. Maybe because you’re very much like me?”

She had mentioned something similar the previous night as well. About how they were the same, and that being the reason why she understood him so well. But Sora still wasn’t  convinced.

“How? How can you say that we’re the same, Saki? You… look at you! You turned your sorrow into hope. But I… I’m so pathetic! I can’t even find hope! Just how—“ 

“—I wasn’t always like this, you know,” she cut in, as she stopped and turned towards him. With a smile, she continued, “Back in the past, I was just like you. I know what you’ve been through, Sora-kun. And that’s why, I want to help you. Because I know that you deserve a second chance.”

Her reason of helping him was just as simple as that. It was because she understood his pain, his rage - his helplessness - better than  anyone else.

And that was the reason why Sora knew that she had the answer. Why he always ended up following her.

Maybe… she is right.

Soon, Sora felt a salty air wash over him. He looked around. They had come to the beach in the west part of the city.

Stepping onto the somewhat muddy sand, Sora let the salty breeze envelop him. This was a place he was all too familiar with. He had countless memories of this place with Yuzuki. They used to have a lot of fun in the beach back when they were young. They would laugh and run around in a carefree way as the waves crashed against the shore. Back when Sora was still normal.

But right now, the beach was like a completely different entity. There were no people around, and the sea wasn’t restless. Instead, it was calm, much unlike Sora’s mind.

Lost in thought as to why she had brought him here, Sora saw Saki walk on towards the water. Taking his shoes off, he quickly followed.

“It feels completely different than usual, doesn’t it?” Saki asked with a smile as soon as he caught up to her.

Sure enough, unlike its usual bright and happy visage, the beach now evoked an image of complete loneliness. The glimmer of moonlight upon the still water made it look magical. As if it was a river of shimmering diamonds. Sora nodded.

Saki then took a few steps back, and stopped right behind him. She waited for the ripples to calm down, and then said, “Hey, Sora-kun. What do you see here?”

It was a strange question, one that caught Sora completely off guard. “I… I don’t know. It’s just… water.”

“I see. Do you want to know what I see here?”

Sora wondered what was going on in Saki’s mind. He didn’t know what expression she was making. But, he wanted to know. He really wanted to know.

“Yeah,” he replied in a small voice.

Saki took a deep breath, and press the hand on his back. “I see… anger and resentment. But I also see peace.”

“Wh-what do you mean?” Sora asked, confused. 

“Look at the sea. It’s quiet now, right? But, it’s not always like this. Sometimes, there are strong, violent waves. And that others, the sea just becomes quiet - like a ghost. To me, Sora-kun, the strong and violent waves means the anger and resentment of humans. And the quiet, still means peace.”

She paused for a brief moment, and continued, “I believe that the sea represents the cycle of our self-hate and acceptance. We all have things that we blame ourselves for, right? We put all the blame on ourselves, and hate ourselves for those. That’s what the waves mean. But even the strongest of waves always come to a stop, don’t they? They calm down to form light ripples on the water. That means peace.

That’s why, no matter how much we hate ourselves, no matter how much we blame ourselves, we have to make our peace with it. Just like how the wildest waves crash against the shore and are forced to calm down, we should also come to terms with the fact that not everything is in our control and make peace with it.”

Sora quietly listened to everything Saki said, and try to think.

…Not everything is in our control, he echoed the words in his mind, trying to find the correct answer—the right path.

“Do you really think that none of what happened that day was my fault?” he asked, his voice shaking. “Do you really think that I should find peace?”

“Of course,” Saki replied without missing a beat, her hands still on his back. “Think about the question I asked you earlier, Sora-kun. About what you would have done if your positions were reversed.”

Sora nodded hesitantly.

He put his gaze on the quiet and peaceful water, as he searched in his mind for the answer - Saki’s words still echoing inside him.

“You can do it, Sora-kun,” Saki encouraged, as she pressed on his back tighter.

That day, if Yuzuki had survived, what would I have done?

If I was the one who’d died in that accident, would I have blamed her for it?

…

Would I… have hated her?

Sora tried to reevaluate everything in his mind. What did Yuzuki mean to him? How much did she matter to him? Would it make him happy if he could’ve swapped his life to save her? As these questions swirled inside his head, he finally understood.

No. If she had survived, I would’ve never hated her. 

I would’ve never put the blame on her.

I would just… be happy that she was alive.

I would just be grateful that she was with me till the end.

Because I… Because I…

Because Yuzuki wasn’t just his best friend. She meant everything to him. He loved her.

“Do you understand now?” Saki asked, as her grip on his back lightened.

Sora stared on towards the water, as he felt the darkness around him slowly dissipate. Color started to spread everywhere. As the night sky illuminated everything around him and the light breeze blew past him, Sora felt an odd sense of calmness in his heart.

All of his rage, all of his hate, all of his resentment washed away. Only the truth remained.

Even though Yuzuki wasn’t here with him, he was sure of his feelings towards her. He would never have hated her. Not for anything. That… was the answer.

Slowly, he understood.

Slowly, he took it in.

And he believed in it.

That it wasn’t his fault.

And he was fine with it. After all, that was the answer that Saki had shown him - the answer he had found.