Whatever You Want

Ren watched the girl, her radiant eyes shining with a toothy grin plastered across her face as she reached her finger out and a tiny fist met it, enclosing tightly around it and making it its own.

“He’s so cute!” Sakura gushed to the elven woman holding the infant as they waited for the seamstress to return from the back room with both party’s orders. “I can’t believe how big he is now! I feel like I just saw him, and he’s already so different.”

“I know!” The woman beamed, her aquamarine eyes full of pride. “He seems to get bigger and change by the hour. I can barely keep up.” She bounced the baby lightly on her hip, laughing at the girl as she made silly faces at her child.

The woman lived a short way out of the village, her home situated in a grove of aspens. Ren and Sakura had gone to the home in the past so that the fox could exterminate a hoard of pests that were like a combination of rats and centipedes, their long snouts burrowing into the ground as their plethora of legs pushed them through the dirt, destroying the woman’s garden while she was still heavily pregnant. Since then, anytime they saw her the girl was quick to admire the child while the elf was more than happy to show him off.

“Is he crawling yet?”

The woman pulled a chunk of her platinum blonde hair from the baby’s grasp. “Not yet, he’s being stubborn about it. Just wants to be carried everywhere. But he’s sitting on his own. Would you like to hold him?”

Ren didn’t think the girl’s face could get any brighter as she played with the infant, but it magnified with the offer.

“Really?!”

“Of course.” She pulled the baby from her hip and helped situate him with Sakura, showing her where to place her hands in order to properly support him.

“He’s heavier than I thought he’d be,” the girl noted, surprised that such a small body seemed so sturdy.

The woman laughed. “He certainly is. He’s a lot more solid than my daughter was. I still feel like she’s easier to carry around than he is, and she’s almost four.”

“Where is she?”

“At home with her father. I’d have left him, too, but that’s hard to do so at this age. They really do need their mother when they’re little like this.”

Ren looked at the child with his wispy, nearly white hair and magenta eyes. They really did require a lot of time and care, most of which was provided by their mothers; a woman who took from herself in order to give to her offspring in the hopes that they thrive.

He never had that. Had no idea what it was like.

And he never would.

The little boy looked up at the angel, leaning towards him and reaching while crying out his unintelligible demands.

“He likes you,” his mother translated. “Do you want to hold him?”

Ren had never held a child, never even been given the opportunity. “I don’t know. I don’t want to drop him.”

“Nonsense.” She smiled and took the baby, helping the boy to hold him. “You won’t drop him. You know, you always look like you want to play with him, but you never do.”

He took the boy, clutching him close while trying not to hold too tight, finding a happy medium. Sakura was right. He was heavier than he looked. His eyes were clear and curious, absorbing everything around him, constantly learning and adapting. His skin smooth and supple and his smile completely innocent.

Had Ren been the same way?

Of course not.

How foolish.

Had he have been, he would still have a mother and father to care for him.

They wouldn’t be gone.

Because of him.

“I do want to,” he confessed. “I just don’t want to… scare him.”

“Does he look scared?”

“I guess not.” He held his finger out for the child to latch onto as he babbled and cooed his approval.

The woman’s eyes and smile softened. “You’re a good boy, Ren. You always have been. Remember that.”

He nodded, unsure of how to respond just as the seamstress came back into the room with the parcels of clothes. The boy returned her child to her, and they bid their farewells to the woman as she took her purchase and made her way out, the child watching them as they left the shop. Ren paid for their own parcels, and they headed back home.

“He was so cute!” Sakura squeezed her new garments against her chest as she pranced along the trail. “I wish I could have held him longer.”

“He was cute,” the angel agreed.

“I always wanted a little brother or sister,” the girl sighed. “But Mama couldn’t have any more after me. They didn’t want me to know, but I could hear her and Papa talk about it.” She looked at the ground and swallowed heavily. “I could hear everyone talk about it.”

She didn’t need to say it for Ren to know what everyone had to say. “That wasn’t your fault. You can’t control what happens to other people.”

“I know,” her voice quiet. She would say that, but he knew she didn’t always believe it. That, no matter what, those doubts always sat comfortably in the back of her mind. Just as his doubts sat comfortably with him. The girl quickly looked up at the boy, practically shining, her joy renewed. “When I grow up, I’m going to have lots and lots of children. That way they always have someone, and they never have to be alone.”

The boy snorted with a look of disgust. “The world doesn’t need any more little you’s running around. One of you is already too much.”

“Shut up! You sound just like Raz!” the demon snapped, kicking him in the calf. “I’m gonna have a bunch of them whether you like it or not.”

“If you say so.” He laughed and glanced over at her, watching as she chewed her cheek.

“Do you want children?” Sakura asked hesitantly as she watched the ground pass under her feet. “You know, when you’re older.”

Ren had never really thought about it. He was only thirteen and that possibility seemed so far away. No point in really considering it. But still, he wouldn’t always stay young and neither would she. One day, they’d be adults, and they’d have to make that choice. He never had a mother or father and didn’t know what it was like to be raised, or cared for, or loved by them.

However, just because he had never experienced those things didn’t mean that he couldn’t do them himself. That he couldn’t learn how to. That he couldn’t be that which he had never had.

The girl had already made her decision and as she looked up at him, emeralds expectant and hopeful, he made his.

“I don’t know. Yeah.” The boy shrugged, trying to seem indifferent even though he was anything but. “One day, I guess.”

If she wanted them, then he would do anything to give them to her. Anything to make her happy. No matter how many she wanted, he would never tell her no. Because if they were her children, then he would want every single one.

And he would love them just as much as he loved her.

Sakura looked away, trying to stifle a smile. “Well, good luck finding someone who’ll put up with you long enough to have your children.”

He raised a brow. “Coming from the girl who’s beat the shit out of almost every boy in the village. Pretty sure I’ll have more options when the time comes than you will.”

“Whatever!” She rushed ahead and spun around, walking backwards as she stuck her tongue out at the boy. “I’m a delight. Who wouldn’t want me?” She turned back and bounded to the cottage, leaving the boy to follow.

It was true.

She was a delight.

And he did want her.

More than anything.

Ren made it to the yard and went to the clothesline that Sakura had passed and ignored on her way inside. He couldn’t just ignore it though. It was something that needed to be done and better to do so sooner rather than later. He pulled the clothes from the line, folding them, and tucking them into the basket. He set his parcel on top once he finished and went inside. Raz sat at the fire, tending to it as the girl prepped dinner in the kitchen, her head swaying side-to-side as she hummed.

She would make a good mother someday.

But that raised a question that Ren didn’t know the answer to.

He knew woman carried the children, birthed them, tended to them, and fed them from themselves.

But how did they get there in the first place?

Raz had always told him that if he was old enough to ask then he was old enough to know.

It was time Ren knew.

And better sooner rather than later.

“Raz, how does a woman get pregnant with a baby?” the boy asked suddenly, his eyes focused on the girl across the room.

The man froze, the dread instantly setting in, before looking up at his nephew and seeing the slight upturn to his lips and where his gaze fell. A look the man was familiar with but hadn’t seen in years. One that was once another man’s but now belonged to the boy and was directed at the girl. The same exact look that had started the whole mess that Raz was currently in. He got up from his chair and was beside the boy in a few strides, his hand coming up, swiftly and harshly slamming into the back of the boy’s skull, making him stumble forward. “Don’t even fucking think about it,” he growled. “You keep it to yourself and don’t you dare touch her with it.”

Ren wasn’t sure what ‘it’ was, but if it was going to result in another smack then he didn’t want to know. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “I won’t.” And he hurried off to put away the wash and his new clothes.

Raz had always been honest with them, almost to a fault. Why he didn’t want the boy to know this was out of character for the man. Almost alarming.

The boy peeked up at the girl quickly as he set a dish towel in the kitchen next to her, her eyes meeting his, speaking volumes.

What was that about?

Ren wondered the same thing.

For whatever reason, the man didn’t want him to have that information, and normally the boy wouldn’t give any push back, not wanting to go against the man who raised him.

However, Sakura had expressed her desire, and Ren would do anything to see it fulfilled. To give her the children she dreamed of.

So, no matter what, one way or another he’d find out how to do that.

But definitely not from Raz.