I'll be quitting on writing in all contest related and focus on writing at my own pace

Yeah, I felt like I had to quit. It built up so much pressure in me that I think I found the answer as to why I got stressed on the first contest that I ever wrote on this website.
It is weird though, this is my hobby and I want to try to use it for a benefit. Trying so hard to blend in with the international audience, but in the end, I was stressed out.  The reason why I was stressed out was very simple: it was stage fright.

Let me explain,
I'm an introvert, and throughout my life, I've been building up this feeling where I'm always below everybody. I don't deserve any attention because if I get that attention, I have this idea where I have to be responsible for all of that audience. This is the biggest reason why I wrote all of my story in silence. No one ever knew it except my high school teacher, whom I had for the Journalism Extracurricular. She has always been kind to me and led me to what a good writer is supposed to be.
Then one day she decided to ask me to write a short story for the school magazine. I was so afraid that everyone would despise it, but she still cheered me on and even encouraged me by saying, "Not to worry. They won't even know it was you who wrote it."
So, that was the first ever time my story got exposed to the world. I don't even know if my classmate or people who read it like it. They never even talk about it at school. It felt kind of good, so I kept on writing for my school magazine. Intertwined with the short story for the magazine, I also made a longer story while I was on the Extracurricular hours. These stories I wrote, its never been exposed to a wide audience. I only ever showed these to my teacher and my best friend. They both like it, so I keep going.

Throughout middle school and high school alone, I think I have made at least 100 short and long stories. And I felt confident that I could write anything on the internet without fear, which made me join in the first place.
But each week I came back to write a story, I always saw other contestants who had joined and saw they had more views and likes than I did. Not to say I'm jealous, I just thought for a second there, and in my mind was thinking, "Dang, this contest has a lot of viewers than I thought. I don't even get a fractured of that viewer." This backed up the reason that I have mentioned before.

I'm below everyone, I'm not supposed to join this kind of thing, I'm not even worthy to be a writer.
This thought keeps on being in my mind, haunting me from continuing to write.

Now that I understand my feelings, I feel the need to relax and pick up my own pace. Try to regain that fire that I've had in writing.
So, to regain that, I won't be in a contest and write stories in my language.
I don't want a lot of people to see my work, but I also want people to find my story on their own. It felt safe that way.

Now I want to touch on the two stories that I have made on this website, and what I will do with those.

Makorinama
This was a story that I had made in middle school and rewrote in high school.
The very first story was inspired by Attack on Titan and The Promised Neverland. And when you read it, you can probably tell.
This is the first ever story that I made with a lot of gruesome deaths and horrifying terror. In middle school, I conceptualized the story to be a lot longer than what I wrote here, where the worldbuilding would take about 30 long chapters. YES, that long.
You've only seen 10% of the human-made island, and the people that I added to that story are even bigger.

This was a massive story, and I tried to compress it to meet the min and max requirements of the contest. You can see how I struggle to do that there, not only does it have a requirement of maximum words, but it also has to be in English. English is not my native nor strongest subject; it was my third language. So you can see why I withdrew from that contest.

Don't panic, I still hold my word, I will be continuing the story. It would probably be a botlag version of the longer story that I have made in the past, though. lol

Harpy x Harpie: Switcharoo
Now this one is funny.
This was my "canceled" project that I had in middle school. It was a silly little story that I don't really have a big plot for. Therefore, I was struggling to come up with a good storyline. But bear with me here! I would like to rewrite it (again) in Indonesia.

As we enter a new journey, I would love to tell you some of the new stories that I will be writing here.

The Triple Date
I have been making this story since high school, and I would like to write it here. It will be in Indonesian.

I'm Finally Going Adventuring
You like Adventure Time? So, am I, and this is an attempt at making a story around a wacky world like that. This story will be in English.

TL;DR
I won't be entering any contests until I am confident in my writing with a bigger audience.
I will make stories at my own pace, in my native language and English. Basically mixed language.