MUSIC CONCERT

I was woken up by Erika, her hands on my head and on my shoulder, shaking me.

Soon after I woke up, the announcer on the train announced that we would shortly arrive at Erika's station, and I looked up towards the source of the announcement. “Oh, this is our stop. Sorry.”

I quickly tried to freshen up, but as Erika was just shaking my head, my head seemed a little heavy towards the side where Erika is. Or maybe it’s because I’m still sleep deprived. I don’t know.

I grabbed one of the bag’s straps when Erika grabbed the other, and we got up and walked closer to the door. When it opened, we walked out, and I let out a yawn while stretching my body a bit.

My body feels a little stiff, maybe because I was sleeping on a train seat. Especially the side of my neck. It’s not really that stiff as I slept for maybe like half an hour at most, but I still felt it.

It’s like I was sleeping with my head leaning sideways. But I was sitting upright when Erika woke me up. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever slept upright on any moving transportation before.

I glanced at Erika when I thought of that and noticed her blushing somewhat. We’re now outside the station so the heat must’ve gotten to her as it’s now the middle of the day.

I know that it has gotten to me, since I can feel the sun scorching on my skin, so I quickly went with her to Cafe Million.

We arrived at Cafe Million sometime later and walked in side by side as we were still holding different straps of the same bag.

The owner immediately noticed us, and he seemed somewhat surprised. He must have thought that Erika wouldn’t come in today as Hana isn’t around, but we had nowhere else to go as I had to work on Erika’s laptop to install the storage drive from her old laptop.

We went to our usual table, and I helped Erika put the bag next to her. I then took my usual seat across from her.

She took her laptop, still sealed in a box, and placed it on the table while I let out another yawn. While she unboxes her laptop, I asked the owner if he had a screwdriver I could borrow. He went to the back for a little before coming back, screwdriver in hand.

“Thanks. I’ll be borrowing this for a bit.” I said as I took the screwdriver from his hand.

He gave a slight smile in response.

Once she unboxed the laptop, Erika handed it to me, and she grabbed her storage drive from her bag before handing that to me too. I took the two and started unscrewing the bottom part of the laptop while Erika unboxes the laptop’s accessories.

I started working on installing Erika’s storage drive which I quickly finished. Once I finished screwing in the storage drive, I screwed the back panel back on and handed the laptop back to Erika for her use.

This was the first time the laptop was turned on, so she would need to set it up first. I waited for her to finish, and once I noticed that she had done so, I asked for her laptop.

Erika turned her laptop around and handed it to me.

After the drive is installed into the laptop, it still needs to be initialized before it can be used. Once that was done and the storage drive was now usable, I handed the laptop back to Erika, showing her which one her previous storage drive is.

Erika nodded along as I showed her, and once I’m done, she opened up her assignment.

I leaned back against my chair when she started typing on her laptop. She then spun her laptop around, showing me the screen. She had typed “Thankyou” in. She then proceeded to sign something.

I followed after her lead, and signed her the same thing, albeit not as smooth as she had done. “Is that ‘thank you’ in sign language?”

She nodded in response, then did the same thing again.

I copied what she did again, and this time I seemed to have gotten it right, as she clapped a little while smiling, just as she had done this morning.

I smiled back at her, and she spun the laptop around to face her again. I assume she’s now picking up where she had left off on her assignment.

I leaned my head backwards and relaxed my body. I was still sleep deprived, and now that I had done everything I needed to do today, the exhaustion quickly caught up to me again.

Before I could fall asleep again, a waiter had come by our table with Erika’s and my usual order. He placed the drinks down on the table, and I thanked him. I grabbed my glass and raised it towards the owner behind the counter to thank him as he had made the drink.

Afterwards, I took a sip which woke me up a bit. But not for long, as after I put my glass back down, I almost immediately fell asleep.

I was woken up by the owner a little before dinner rush, as he thought it might not be very comfortable to sleep during the dinner rush. I am also in the way of their business sleeping there, I guess. So, Erika and I headed back to our respective places then.

A week later, I’m waiting for Erika in the station again. Unlike last time, I didn’t arrive more than an hour before the time we were supposed to meet up today.

I have been sleeping well ever since that one night I had a nightmare. I would have thought that the nightmare would keep me up for a few more nights still, so I had actually gotten some sleeping medicine, but it turns out I didn’t actually have to.

A few minutes after I arrived at the station, I was approached by a suspicious looking person. They are wearing a hood pulled low to cover a part of their face, and a surgical mask to cover the rest. If it wasn’t for the sling bag they have across their body which they are gripping with both hands, it would have been the example getup of a stalker.

Once right in front of me, they raised their hood slightly, and I could see a part of their face.

It’s Erika.

What’s with the stalker set?

“Morning, Erika. Are you feeling sick?”

She tilted her head slightly to the side and looked at me quizzically.

After a short while, she realized that I’m talking about her mask and replied with a shake of her head. She then went to reach for her phone inside her bag, and as she did so, I reached for mine inside my pocket and pulled it out.

After I did, a notification chimed in following the message Erika had sent. “There will be a lot of people at the concert.”

I guess there will be quite the crowd focused in front of the stage we would be watching. It’s a good idea to wear a mask to not catch anything. I should have done the same.

Just as I thought about getting a mask for myself, our train had arrived at the platform.

“Shall we go?” I asked Erika, leading her inside the train whilst putting my phone back into my pocket.

The concert today would be split into two sessions, one before lunch and one after. Summer break is already over, so both Erika and Hana have started attending classes since the start of this week.

That said, Today is a weekend so Erika doesn’t have any classes, but it seems like Hana has morning class so she would be joining us during lunch and watch the second session with us.

Once we arrived at the station below the mall, I hopped off the train and waited for Erika. Once she had gotten off the train, we exited the station and went up towards the main lobby where the stage is.

Considering the location the concert is held at, it’s obviously free to watch. Which also means the earliest to arrive can pick the best spot to watch from.

As we went up the escalator, I could see that a small crowd had already gathered in front of the stage. There’s a lot more people than I thought there would be since most of the artists aren't really that popular.

I went towards the crowd with Erika, and since Erika doesn’t seem too comfortable sandwiched from all sides, we decided to watch further away from the stage. Among the thinner part of the crowd.

We spent the time waiting for the show to start talking about the artists that would come on stage.

There’s a total of 10 artists that will perform, and Erika knows most of them. I only know a couple, so we mostly talked about the ones that I know, which she happens to know about too.

And as time seems to fly by when we were talking, the MC finally takes the stage and starts leading into the show.

One by one the artist started taking the stage and performed two to three songs before exiting the stage.

Erika seems to be enjoying herself. I can see her vibing to the music.

Even with both hands gripping the strap of her shoulder bag, her body is moving a little along to the song, and her head is bobbing slightly with the music.

The artist that we talked about when we first found out about the show takes the stage later on the first session, just before the last one. I really like his song, so I find myself vibing along to his performance just as Erika does.

After he performed three songs, he stepped down from the stage, and the MC came back on stage for the transition to the next artist.

It’s the last one for the first session, and it seems to be an idol group that’s been somewhat rising in popularity lately.

The crowd cheers loudly at the mention of the group’s name. Making it seems like they are the reason most people come here today.

After the MC finished introducing them, the speakers started to blast music, and the group walked onto stage, dancing and singing.

I don’t really like their style of music, so I have almost no interest whatsoever in this performance.

The same thing can’t be said for Erika, though. It seems like she’s really feeling the music as she’s vibing along, still moving her body along to the music quite a bit.

As I’m watching Erika vibing to the music, the crowd suddenly erupted in cheers. I shifted my attention back towards the stage and saw that a member that hadn’t been there before took center on the stage.

She’s probably the star in the group. Once she took the stage, she was the one to lead the dance. It’s the so called ‘center’ position in an idol group

I still don’t like their music, though.

As I thought that, I felt Erika suddenly grab my arm tightly. Really tightly. It’s as if she’s grabbing on for her life.

Surprised by this, I turned to look at her, and noticed she’s stopped vibing along to the music, and is standing completely still.

“Erika?” I called out to her, but she gave no response in return.

She’s standing right next to me with her hair down, so I can’t see her face all that well. I had to lean forward a little before I could see how pale she looks at the moment. It’s as if she had seen a ghost.

“Erika?” I called out to her again, holding her hand that’s grabbing my arm with my other hand this time.

Instead of giving me a response, she quickly started to hyperventilate, and I could see sweats started running down her face, despite the somewhat cold air conditioning in the mall.

I grabbed both of her shoulders and started to shake her a little from side to side.

”Erika!” I shouted, but she still wasn’t responding.

Her focus was glued towards the stage. She’s looking up slightly to see the people on stage with horror in her eyes.

I moved in front of her to get into the center of her vision, and when I did so, Erika seemed to finally just now notice me, even though she had been grabbing so tightly onto my arm.

Her eyes shifted slightly to look me directly in the eyes.

“Erika, what’s wrong?”

I managed to get her attention, but it doesn’t seem like she’s in a condition to communicate.

I could see her eyes puffing up, with tears starting to form on it.

I want to help somehow, but I don’t know what I should do. I don’t know what’s causing her to feel this way, and I don’t know what would comfort her.

I was always alone when I had panic attacks and had never seen anyone do anything about it, so I was at a complete loss.

I looked back at the stage to see if I could find anything that might have caused her panic, but I just saw the group performing.

I know that it’s something on stage, but I don’t know what. When I looked back at Erika, she started crying hard, wiping her tears with one hand.

Seeing this reminded me of when we were flocked by Alan’s fans during the buffet at the island resort. The only thing that’s the same as back then was that there’s a lot of people around. But she hadn’t minded them until just now.

That was when I was reminded of Erika’s fear of men.

I quickly let go of both her shoulders to distance myself from her. When I did, Erika tightened her grab on my arm even more, and she started shaking her head.

I don’t know what I should do now.

After taking a quick look around and noticed that the crowd had started to take notice of Erika’s panic attack.

I don’t know what I should do, but I at least know that the crowd won’t help. I need to take her somewhere else.

The main door is right in front of me, as the stage is held in the main lobby of the mall.

With that in mind, I grabbed Erika’s hand while she’s wiping her tears and pulled her along towards the main door.

I started by walking slowly, and once I noticed that Erika was properly following me, I broke into a sprint.

Outside, I could see some cars dropping off passengers, and a little to the side, a short line of people queuing for a taxi. A taxi was pulling up to the line of people just as Erika and I exited the mall.

I promptly pulled Erika along towards the taxi, cutting into the very front of the line.

The couple that was at the front of the line started to complain, but when the man saw Erika, he went quiet immediately and held his girlfriend back.

I opened the back door once the taxi came to a stop and led Erika inside. She took a seat inside but still wouldn’t let go of my arm.

Her face is all red because she’s been rubbing all over it back inside the mall, and I could still see the panic in her eyes when she looked up at me when I started to walk away from her.

I held her hand that was still grabbing my arm and rubbed it slightly with my thumb to ease her. “I won’t leave you. I’ll hop on the seat next to you.”

Erika then took a look towards her side, where the seat was still empty and started easing her grip on my arm. Once she did, I pushed her hand away slowly and placed it on her lap.

I walked a little away and closed her side of the door and started running around the car to get to the door on the other side.

“I’m really sorry about this.” I said towards the couple at the front of the line.

Once at the other side, I quickly opened the door and sat inside. When I did, Erika immediately grabbed onto my arm again. I held onto Erika’s hand that’s gripping my arm to ease her a little.

After I told the driver to take us to Cafe Million, he immediately started driving away as if he already knew the place.

Erika seems to have calmed down somewhat, since she’s no longer crying uncontrollably. She’s still sobbing, while trying her hardest to hold back her tears, and I noticed that her fingers curled into a tight fist, trembling.

I moved my free hand and ease my way inside her grip, and she eased little by little, letting my hand slip in. But her fingers are still stiffly curled towards a fist, so I could feel her nails digging a little into my palm.

We arrived at Cafe Million after what feels like an eternity. Once we came to a stop, I took a quick look at the taximeter to take note of the fare.

“Erika, we’re at Cafe Million.” I said to her, which prompted her to look out the window to her side.

When she eased her grip, I pulled both my hand and arm away to step out of the taxi, which caused her to immediately turn to face me.

I gave her a smile whilst getting out of the taxi and immediately ran around while taking some money to pay for the taxi from my wallet.

When I opened her side of the door, Erika immediately extended both hands towards me.

I held onto one of her hands, and she gripped mine with both her hands. I extended the money towards the taxi which he took, and led Erika outside, closing the door behind her.

I pulled her hood down to cover up more of her face before leading her inside the Cafe.

When we walked in, the owner quickly noticed us, and took notice of Erika sobbing. Once he did, he urged me to take Erika towards the back. He then led us up a flight of stairs to what seems to be his living room.

The owner pointed towards a couch, and I led Erika there, letting her sit down.

She seems to have calmed down considerably as she’s no longer holding back tears, albeit still sniffling a little.

Once she sat down, I slowly pulled my hand away from hers, which prompted her to look up at me. I gave her another smile, and when I did so, she eased her grip and let go of my hand entirely to wipe her face. I took a few steps back when the owner gave her a box of tissues.

“Oliver, can you tell me what happened?”

“I.. honestly have no idea. She seemed to be enjoying the concert when she suddenly panicked.”

“I see.. I had thought that this would be good for her, but it seems like it’s still too early.”

I don’t know what he meant by that, and wanted to inquire, but I had a feeling that it’s not my place to ask.

“I’ll call Hana.”

Oh right. I completely forgot about her. “Right. Thank you, owner.”

He then called Hana using his cellphone, and walked downstairs, leaving me and Erika alone.

Erika had taken off her mask, and was wiping her face with tissues, so I looked away and just stood there while she did so.

I could hear that Erika was calming down with every minute that passed, until she went quiet for some time. When I looked back at her, I saw that she had fallen asleep on the couch.

I walked towards her and collected the tissues she had used. I noticed a trash bin when I was looking around earlier and dumped all her used tissues into the bin.

After I did that, I walked downstairs and went towards the Cafe, just as Hana walked inside. I could see the taxi she was probably just on leaving behind her.

She noticed me too and shouted “Oliver! Where’s Erika?!”

“She’s sleeping upstairs.”

Hana then let out a huge sigh of relief and started walking towards the back. I held the door open for her, and after she walked in, I took a step outside. When I did, Hana held the door open instead and called out to me.

I turned around and saw her looking down towards the floor. “Thank you. For keeping her safe.”

I shook my head a little. “I did nothing to help.”

She looked up at me and gave me a slight smile. “Idiot.”

Hana then left the door to close and make her way upstairs. Once the door shut behind me, I walked towards Erika’s usual table and took a seat at my usual place.

The owner came by not long after and placed my usual drink on the table. I gave him a smile and a thank you before he walked back behind the counter.

I took a couple sips of the drink before placing an order for a meal with a waiter. It’s lunch time, so I might as well grab a meal while I’m here.

While waiting for the meal, I felt really uneasy, and kept on glancing towards the backdoor.

When the owner had taken notice of this, he called out to me. “I could take your meal upstairs if you’re worried.” He offered.

I pondered for a while before calming myself down. I replied with a shake of my head. “I don’t think it’s my place to do so.”

“I see.” A bell was then heard to signal a food ready to be taken to the customer, and the owner grabbed a couple plates and placed it on the counter near me. “In that case, could you help me bring my daughter her food? I’m sure she has not had lunch yet.”

I stood up from my seat and saw that one of the two plates was the meal that I had ordered earlier. I looked at the owner and he gave me a smile.

So, I took both plates and went towards the back before climbing the stairs to the living room.

Once upstairs, I saw Hana sitting by Erika, stroking her on the head gently.

“Hana, your dad told me to bring you this.” I said, showing her the plate full of food from her dad.

“You can put it down on the table.” She said as she stood up and started walking towards the dining table.

I put both plates down across from each other.

“Is that yours?” She asked when she saw the other plate.

“I think so”

“Sit down and eat with me.”

I did as told and took a seat across from her before going through my meal.

“What happened at the mall?”

“I don’t know. She seemed like she was enjoying the concert when she suddenly grabbed my arm and started panicking.”

“Were you with her the entire time?”

I nodded.

“When did she start panicking?”

“A little into the first song of the first session’s last performer.”

“Who’s on stage?”

I mentioned the idol group’s name, but it seems like Hana doesn’t recognize them. But her face turned into a frown when she heard that it was an idol group.

“Can you show me a picture?”

I took my phone out of my pocket and looked up a picture of the group to show her. When she saw it, her frown turned into an expression of blatant disgust and anger.

With that, I remembered how Erika was enjoying the show until the center of the group took stage. I looked at the group’s picture and was able to quickly single out the center.

Pointing towards the member in question, I showed the screen to Hana again. “Is it her?”

Hana went silent for a while before giving a slight nod.

It seems like Erika might have some unpleasant memories with the idol group’s center. Knowing that, I shut my phone’s screen off and put it back inside my pocket and went on eating my lunch. Hana did the same and we both ate lunch quietly.

I actually really want to ask about what had happened between the two of them, but I don't think it’s really my place to ask about it. So, I swallow the question down every time it comes up in my mind to ask.

Once she’s done with her meal, Hana looked me dead in the eyes, and I looked back at hers. “Oliver, do you like Erika?”

She had asked me the same question once before when we were at the island resort. Back then, I immediately said no. That was because I know for sure that I didn’t. It hasn’t even been a month since then, but I can no longer do the same.

I haven’t sorted my feelings out yet. But I know that I’ve been looking at her differently, especially after what happened at the concert earlier.

Back then, it felt like I had done enough if I just wished her all the best, but now I want to be by her side to keep her safe.

Unable to give an immediate reply, I just looked up to the ceiling and sighed.

“I see.” Hana seemed to have drawn a conclusion based on my reaction.

I looked back down at Hana and saw that she’s looking down towards her plate. Contemplating something maybe.

I grabbed my plate, stood up, and slowly took hers, which prompted her to look up at me.

“I’ll take these downstairs.”

She replied with a nod.

I started walking downstairs when I heard Hana called me an idiot behind me.

Downstairs, I asked one of the kitchen staff where I should put the dirty dishes down, but they took it from me instead.

After thanking them, I walked into the cafe. My drink was still on Erika’ usual table, so I walked over, grabbed my glass, and chugged the rest of the content down, before placing the empty glass down on the table.

Once I had finished my drink, I turned around and walked towards the register. “Leaving so soon?” The owner asked when he noticed me at the register.

I replied with a nod and took my wallet out of my pocket to pay for my bill, and just as I did so, the back door flung open, and Erika walked out of the door.

She looked out the front door and looked around the Cafe before her eyes settled on me. Once she saw me, she started walking slowly towards me.

Erika’s eyes seemed to have swollen a little, and the sight felt like it had placed immense pressure on my chest for a moment.

Once she’s right in front of me, she extended both her arms a little towards my free hand, but hesitated. She’s looking down towards my hand, her hands frozen. I opened my palm towards her, and she gently held onto my hand with both her hands, gradually strengthening her grip.

Once she had my hand in hers, she looked up to my eyes and stared at me for a while.

Other than her eyes, I can feel a lot more stares from around me.

The cafe is currently in the middle of a lunch rush, so more people than usual are around. Erika had gathered everyone’s attention when she suddenly threw the back door open, so a lot of the customers are now looking our way.

“Should we go back upstairs?” I asked Erika, looking into her eyes.

Erika replied with a wide smile, and a large nod, and I gave her a smile back.

We then went back towards the back door where Hana is still standing by the door. Hana walked in first and held the door open for us, and the three of us went upstairs.

Only once we’re all upstairs had Erika finally let go of my hand.

She and Hana both went to sit on the couch, and without anywhere else nearby to sit, I took a seat on the floor across the coffee table from them. We sat in silence for a while.

Erika is leaning on Hana, resting her head on Hana’s shoulder. Hana is patting her head gently, but none of us are saying anything.

I feel a little left out as someone not doing any kind of interaction here.

“Good weather today, huh?” I said while looking out a window.

Erika and Hana then followed suit and looked out the same window. “Right. It’s not that hot anymore.”

Erika then looked down for a while, before looking up again and signing something to Hana. “Oliver, Erika said thankyou for being with her.”

Erika then turned to look at me and signed ‘Thank you’ which she had taught me before.

I shook my head from side to side. “I didn’t do anything.”

Erika then looked at Hana and signed something to her. “She said she’s happy that you were there with her. You really helped to calm her down.”

“But, if only Hana was the one that was with you..”

“But the fact is that you were the one that was with her, Oliver. And you helped her through it.”

Erika looked at me and gave me a smile whilst nodding her head.

She then looked straight into my eyes, and signed ‘Thank you’ to me again.

I replied with a smile.

A moment later, Erika’s stomach rumbled softly.

It was a cute rumble, but still loud enough that I could still hear it across the table from her.

Hana let out a chuckle which caused Erika’s face to instantly burn up.

It’s a little past one now, and Erika was the only one that hadn’t eaten anything yet. It’s still noon, but she must have burned a lot of energy earlier.

“I’ll ask them to cook something downstairs.” Hana said before making her way downstairs.

I’m now left alone with Erika with nothing to talk about.

I actually want to ask about what happened between her and the girl from the idol group to have caused her to panic like she did. But I feel that I shouldn’t. I don’t want to bring up any more unpleasant memories after what happened.

A topic that could be used between us right now is probably only some technical talk on computer science. But now that I thought about that, I guess I can ask about her university.

“Erika, how are classes?”

She thought about it for a moment and made an ok sign with her hand. It’s a common sign that even I understand.

“Are you getting straight As?”

She immediately shook her head.

She reached for her phone inside her bag, and I fished mine out of my pocket. We continued talking about her classes through it for a while until Hana came back with Erika’s food.

While she’s going through her meal, the three of us talked about how their classes are going. Both of them are now in their 3rd year, but they weren’t the same age as Erika actually started university later then Hana did.

They both have impressive grades, which I already know is the case with Erika since I often help her with her assignment, and since we already talked about her before. Hana on the other hand was honestly somewhat unexpected for me. Apparently, she’s studying hospitality, which means the time she spends working at Cafe Million is actually an effort put towards university at the same time.

Our conversation kept on much longer after Erika had finished her meal.

They asked me some questions about how I was at university, but I avoided most of the questions. I got mostly barely passes at university as I spent most of my time writing instead of studying. But they don’t need to know that.

The three of us were so immersed in the conversation that we hadn’t realized that the sun had gone down at some point. It was only until the owner had come up and offered us dinner that we finally noticed the time.

I don’t think the three of us had ever been this immersed in our conversation, as usually we don’t really talk about ourselves. Instead, we usually talk about recent events that have happened to us or are happening around us. It’s nice to be able to get to know the two of them like this.

Having accepted the owner’s offers, the three of us sat around the dinner table after we grabbed our meals downstairs. We sat in the usual configuration. Hana next to Erika, and me across from Erika.

We’re still about at the start of autumn, so the weather was still quite warm, but it was really heartwarming to see that Erika had cheered up more and more, even to the point of smiling and silently chuckling over the course of our conversation.

The swell on her eyes is now completely gone, and she’s looking cheerful whilst eating.

Having finished our meals, we brought our dishes downstairs, where a kitchen staff took it from us, and we made our way back upstairs.

We talked for a couple more hours until it’s about half an hour before Erika’s curfew.

She lives in a safe neighborhood that’s only around 15 minutes away from Cafe Million. But considering her situation, staying out until late is dangerous, and she isn’t comfortable doing so.

It’s unsettling if a guy just walks up to her quite late into the night after all. Inside of my head, I apologize again for what I had done the first time I met her.

We all went downstairs and walked towards the cafe. There are only a couple customers left, and the staff had started cleaning up to close up for the day.

“Will you make it back alright, Erika?”

Erika looked at me and gave me a nod. She then curled both her hands into a fist and pumped it to show me her determination.

“Aaaahh..” Hana interjected, with a hand scratching the back of her head to exaggerate sheepishness. “I would walk your back, but I have to help my dad closing up the cafe.”

I know that she’s exaggerating her sheepishness because she shot me a glare right after she finished saying that.

I get that it is pretty late already, but I don’t know why she has to do that to get me to do what she could have done herself.

“I’ll walk your back.” I said to Erika.

Erika then quickly shook her head in response.

I placed a hand on her head to stop her protest. “It’s late. A girl shouldn’t be out alone at this time.”

After I pulled my hand back, Erika gave me a pout and immediately walked out of the cafe.

“Ah, hey!” I quickly took out my wallet, and took out a couple bills, and handed it to Hana. “For Erika’s and my orders.”

After handing Hana the money, I quickly ran out of the restaurant to catch up to her. Once I’m by her side, I slowed down to match her pace and followed her back to her place.

The walk felt nice as it wasn’t too hot or too cold, and the wind was somewhat breezy. The weather around this time of year is perfect.

After just a short while of walking while enjoying the night, we’re already in Erika’s neighborhood.

Some places feel somewhat familiar since I have been here before. That was when I first met Erika. The convenience store that Erika had pointed me to was especially memorable.

We finally reached her house after some time of a quiet walk.

Erika walked towards her front gate, and turned to look at me, who is still a couple steps away. She then signed a “Thank you” to me.

I replied with a smile, followed by a wave of my hand. “See you, Erika.”

She smiled at me and fell into thought for a while.

She then made a V with her hand, showing me the back part of it, and pressed her middle finger on her cheek, under her eye. Next, she made an L with the same hand using her index finger and thumb, showing me the front part of her hand, before then lowering it, so that she pointed at me with her index finger.

She hasn't shown me this one before. I learned ‘good morning’, which I’ve also forgotten by now, and ‘thank you’, which I remember because she’s used it a couple times on me. Erika had taught me both, but I don’t think I’ve seen this one. Even though I’ve forgotten it, I know it’s not ‘good morning’ considering the time.

I thought back to what I said before she signed that to me, since she likely was replying to me with that sign.

She had made a V with her hand first and pressed a finger on her cheek, under her eyes. She then made an L and pointed at me.

“Was that ‘see you’?” I asked to confirm my guess.

She nodded and clapped softly whilst smiling from ear to ear at me.

Seeing that, I can’t help but let out a smile of my own.

She looks so cute smiling like this, but obviously what had happened earlier today was still fresh on my mind. I don’t want to see her like that ever again, and I’m all the more convinced after seeing her beaming with cheerfulness like this.

Erika raised her hand and showed me her open palm. Her fingers are all close together, and she curled them down into a fist. I repeated the same motion with my hand, not knowing what it meant.

It probably meant ‘bye’ or something. I’ve seen similar motions in movies, so I hadn’t bothered to ask. Erika also went through her gate after that, turning her back against me.

I stared at her back during the few seconds she opened her gate and went to the other side and was reminded of my friends.

They were always there when I was going through the hardest part of my life. But they never helped. They were just there, and I told myself that was enough, as just having them there was already helping me to get my mind off things.

But that wasn’t it. I always told myself the same thing over and over again so I wouldn’t start wanting more from them, so I wouldn’t start demanding more from them.

But I do want more. And I wasn’t able to get more.

Erika is different from me. She’s putting herself in a position to face her fears.

It might not be working very well now, but she’s still doing it. To better herself.

Knowing this, I want to give her the ‘more’ that I hadn’t got. I want to be the one to give it to her. And to do that, I need to know her better.

I called out to her before she could unlock her door and walk inside, and she turned around to look at me. “Erika, do you.. would you like to go out with me?”

She didn’t say anything in response and stayed quiet for a bit.

“Not right now. Tomorrow, in a few days, whenever you have time.”

She stayed quiet for a little more, before responding with a nod. I can see her face starting to blush a little as she does so.

I gave her a smile in response. “It’s already late, so let’s sort out a place and date later.”

She nodded in response.

“See you, Erika.”

She signed another ‘see you’ towards me and unlocked her door and went inside. Once I'd confirmed that she had done so, I walked away towards the main road to head back to my apartment.

When I was about to turn the first corner, I heard the steps of someone running behind me. When I turned around, I saw Erika trying to catch up to me.

She stops in front of me, breathing a little heavier than she normally does. Behind her, I could see her front gate flung open towards the outside.

She looked down at the ground for a while, before looking up into my eyes. When she does, I could see that she’s blushing all the way to her ears.

She then raised one of her hands and made a rock and roll sign with her hand. But her thumb is stretched out instead of pressing onto her middle and ring finger. It’s more like a hand sign that a friendly neighborhood spider would make while shooting webs, but she’s showing me her palm instead of pointing at me.

I made a rock and roll sign with my hand. My thumb is pressing into my middle and ring finger, so only my index and pinky finger is out, and I show her the back part of my hand instead of my palm.

“Rock and roll?” I asked her.

She then let out a silent chuckle while covering her mouth with her hands. After she’s done chuckling, she made the same rock and roll sign I made and raised her arm a little. Smiling at me all the while.

After she’s done this, she then ran back home, closed the gate behind her and went out of my sight.

Maybe she’s trying to say that she still enjoyed the show today, despite what happened. I don’t know.

Erika already went inside, so I probably won’t know. So, I just resumed my walk back towards my apartment, now with an added confusion.