What We're Here For

Nitsuki trembled in anticipation at the cafe table, her leg nearly vibrating with nervous energy. Despite the relatively calm and relaxing atmosphere of the place, she felt like a bundle of nerves.

It was the first Thursday of July; three days had come and gone so quickly. It'd been a rather pleasant week so far—as long as one discounted the absolute mortification she and Tachibana had experienced by the hand of his bastard of an old man. 

However, all of that was neither here nor there. Right now, they were about to undertake an even larger hurdle than almost dying of embarrassment.

"Hey, Nia. You okay there?" Tachibana asked as he sat in the chair across from her.

"Yeah, of course. I'm just… thinking."

"Still plotting Gramps downfall? I understand, the prune-plum tea didn't quite hit as well as we thought it would. Darn grump just kept laughing at us from the bathroom. Still can't believe what he said to you while on the crapper."

Nitsuki winced as the memory of their failed payback resurfaced. "Ehe, um, not exactly. And you don't have to remind—"

"'You might've got my ass, but not as much as that brat has yours—'"

Her face plumed scarlet. "D-damn it, Tachibana! I was going to say I do not need a reminder."

"Heh, sorry. You have to admit though, it was a pretty good comeback."

Nitsuki's bottom lip curled up as she hmphed. "Maybe… I'll get that bastard back some day for that."

After they settled down again, she glanced away, looking at the time. It was 6:15pm now, and the next Hoshimura Support Group meeting was set to begin in just another fifteen minutes.

She begrudgingly had to admit that the old man's quote had lessened her antsy-ness just a smidge, but she still felt worried.

She'd been waiting in anticipation ever since that Yamaguchi kid had expressed interest in joining the group, so now that the day had finally arrived, she couldn't help feeling jittery.

What if he didn't show up? Or what if he did, and he decided it wasn't the place for him? It must've taken a lot of courage just to reach out and express interest. What if it was all wasted? What if they couldn't give him the help he needed?

Why don't you just look into the future? You've been using it recently for far less important things. Why stop now?

"…" Nitsuki's lips tightened. Her stupid brain had a point, but she'd already looked into the future for the group's first meeting—look at how that turned out.

It's not like it was a total failure though~. You did land the privilege of using the cafe.

She sighed, staring out the window. Wow, she must've been really nervous if her usually teasing and obnoxious stray thoughts were actually being reasonable.

But no. She wasn't going to check. She didn't want to spoil the outcome. Instead, she wanted to trust her gut and hope for the best until things looked really dicey.

She turned to Tachibana.

Just like he was doing.

He had a near infallible smile on his face as usual—doubly so after his recounting of their payback failure—although she could tell he was probably just as nervous as she was, maybe even more so. She didn't miss how he'd kept glancing at the entrance every couple of minutes, or how he'd start to drum his fingers on the table every once in a while.

If it weren't for the fact that they were in public, she'd be tempted to grasp his hand in hers. To squeeze his fingers. To feel the reassuring warmth of his skin. But no, they had to keep up appearances—this was still Hoshimura after all.

"You two seem prepared. I take it you'll be starting soon?"

A voice broke the silence, causing them to turn their heads. Mrs. Aiko stood nearby, holding a tray with three small, steaming cups of green tea. The scent was strong and earthy.

"Thank you, Mrs. Aiko." Tachibana smiled and took one of the cups off her hands before setting it down in front of him. "You're right, the meeting's supposed to start soon. I hope some others might show, but we'll see."

She nodded curtly. "Well, if you do get more people, let me know." She casually placed the second cup in front of Nitsuki before heading back to the counter with the tray.

"Thanks," Nitsuki called out, watching her leave. She still found it hard to think that the old lady had offered to host the meetings in the cafe.

Her gaze drifted to the cup. The steam wafted upward, curling and dancing in the cool airconditioned air. She picked it up and sipped it gently, letting the bitter taste coat her tongue.

"Here's to hoping," Tachibana whispered.

She blinked at him, confused.

"That we get a few people to attend this meeting," he clarified, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm not sure what I'd do if nobody came again."

She hummed. "This coming from the guy who insisted on waiting an hour and a half last time."

"Hey! I didn't want to give up so fast. Besides, the wait was worth it. I got to spent all that alone time with you, didn't I?"

She blushed at his playful grin. "T-Tachibana, cut it out. Aiko over there can probably hear you."

He shrugged. "We're probably fine. She's old and has her music playing loud. She won't hear us."

"Okay, but music or not, we're still in Hoshimura. And I don't know if you've noticed, but the rumors about us have nearly gotten to the point where they're fact." She paused to frown at her drink. "You already know that as much as I'd love to have the world know we're dating, this town still—"

*ting-a-ling*

The sound of the front door's bell ringing cut her off, and both of them immediately perked their heads up toward the source.

Yamaguchi nervously stood in the doorway, his eyes darting around the cafe. When he finally spotted the two of them, he hesitated before making his way over to the table and sitting down next to Nitsuki.

"G-good evening. I hope I'm on time."

Tachibana grinned at him. "Of course! Glad to see you here. It's been a bit since the road cleanup, hasn't it?"

Nitsuki nodded in agreement, but she noticed that the boy's expression seemed to be a bit more troubled since they'd last met. The poor kid was likely doing his best to hide it, but he wasn't doing it very well.

"Yeah. It's good to have you, Yamaguchi. And you arrived a little early too. Good job."

"Th-thanks." He smiled weakly. "I rode my bike here… So uh, yeah… Do we start now?"

"Not yet." Tachibana shook his head. "We've still got several minutes before the official meeting time, and I'd like to give other potential members a chance to join in. But if you'd like, you're free to chat."

"O-oh, okay." He nodded, and his eyes darted around nervously. "Um, oh, is that tea? C-can I have a cup?" he asked politely.

Nitsuki was about to stand up to get some for him before Aiko came around from the back with the same cup as before. She gently placed it in front of him and scooched it over.

"There you go." She turned to Tachibana. "Rikuo, can you help me for a moment? I prepared a short menu of things I'll allow your group members to order, but I can't seem to find the damn thing. Your eyes will probably spot it faster than mine."

Tachibana nodded without question. "Sure. Erm, do you mind if I leave for a bit, Nia, Yamaguchi?"

They both shook their heads. "It's fine." Nitsuki waved him away. "We still have like ten more minutes. We have time."

"Gotcha, just hang tight then. Be back in a sec." With that, Tachibana followed the old woman further into the cafe.

After he had gone, Yamaguchi turned to Nitsuki with an uncertain expression on his face and started fiddling with his thumbs.

"M-Miss Amano, I know the meeting hasn't started yet, but would it be alright if I asked you something now?"

She gently smiled before taking another sip of her green tea. Oh man, he was absolutely adorable—so damn polite.

"Sure. I don't mind. What's on your mind, Yamaguchi?"

The young man hesitated, staring at the table for a moment. He opened his mouth a couple of times, but no words came out. His eyes suddenly clouded over, and his brow was creased as his chest began to rise and fall rapidly.

"H-hey, Yamaguchi, it's okay." Nitsuki tentatively reached out and patted his hand. "You alright? You don't have to force yourself to speak if you're not ready—"

"I-I'm not sure if I even want to be alive."

Pure shock surged through her as the boy's voice cracked. The brokenness she could hear—the pure and utter misery—it was all too familiar for her.

A sudden vision filled her head.

For a moment she was back on the bridge that started this all, the evening she tried to take her life—only this time, it was Yamaguchi standing in her place.

He stood there, staring down at the river below. His face was pale and drawn and the bags under his eyes were deep. His clothes hung loosely off his frame and his hair was disheveled. The wind whipped through the valley, carrying with it a chill that seeped into one's bones.

Then he took a step off.

She instinctually grabbed hold of his shoulder as the image faded. "Yamaguchi," she said softly, looking at him in the eyes with pure relief. "Thank you for telling me. I'm… glad you decided to come here."

His hands balled up into fists as he shivered. "I-I'm sorry. That was really sudden, wasn't it? P-please forget that I—"

"Yamaguchi, deep breaths. It's fine. Like I said, I'm glad you told me."

His shivering lessened as he met her gaze. "Are you… sure?"

The corner of her mouth lifted upward. "Of course I'm sure—and no, before you ask, I am not just saying that." She slowly exhaled as she tried channeling as mature of an image as she could manage.

"That being said, how are you feeling right now?"

He didn't respond immediately. However, he eventually did after sniffling and wiping his nose.

"I-I'm not really sure. Everything feels numb, and it's like nothing matters anymore. Every time I look at my body in the mirror, I feel—I just want to—" He clammed up, shaking his head. "Never mind, I'm sorry for being so dramatic."

She gently rubbed his shoulder. "Hey, you're not being dramatic. It's okay. This is what we're here for. Whatever is on your mind, you can just let it out. You have my support; I mean, it's in the name of our group, isn't it?"

He didn't say anything, simply nodding. He looked a little better, but there were tears brimming in the corners of his eyes, and he still seemed resolute to hold it in.

Nitsuki felt her heart ache. She didn't know exactly what Yamaguchi was going through, but she at least knew what that dark, horrible mind-space of depression was like: overwhelming emptiness, crushing despair, and the constant, desperate desire for something, anything, that would make everything go away.

Admittedly, she wasn't exactly trained for this kind of thing—at most, she'd expected to have to give someone a shoulder to cry on or to offer some words of encouragement—but she wasn't totally clueless either. Hard life lessons and access to the internet would do that to a person.

Looking around, she couldn't see anyone else in the cafe. It was pretty much deserted aside from them.

She gently nudged the boy. She'd already resolved herself to help him before, but with something this heavy on her shoulders, that urge to help him wasn't just strong; it was necessary.

However, before she could even think about giving advice, she needed to know more.

When he finally met her gaze again, Nitsuki calmly and reassuringly smiled.

"Yamaguchi… Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?"