After It All

“Baxter? Baxter! BAXTER!”

It was a struggle to open my eyelids, and they felt unreasonably heavy. The first thing I saw was the bright light coming off the infirmary's ceiling. I turned to my left to see Toto standing next to me with tears in her eyes.

“Thank God! I thought you were a goner!”

“W…what happened to me…?”

“That bastard Damien went too far! He should’ve been expelled for what he did!”

“Oh…that’s right…I lost to Damien…what happened after?”

“The vice principal— Helena Willow— stopped him from freakin’ killing you! You’ve been unconscious for three days!”

“I-I see…did I fail?”

“Huh?”

“D-did I fail the exam?”

“N-no…no you didn’t!”

Toto took a crumbled piece of paper out of her pocket. It was the written test I had finished in under an hour. On the center of the test was a big fat red “C-.”

“You did well on the written exam, and it was enough to pass you despite losing the duel.”

A part of me was relieved that I didn’t fail, but at the same time, I felt as if I was hollowed out.

“…Baxter, are you okay?”

I glanced over Toto was looking at me with a worried expression.

“What do you mean?”

“Well…you’ve been pretty off lately. I also haven’t seen you with Iris lately.”

Hearing the name of the person I formerly loved made me growl in irritation. I probably sounded like an enraged bulldog.

“B-Baxter?”

Realizing that my anger was getting too high, I took a deep breath to calm myself down. I then turned to Toto with a somber face.

“I’ll tell you about…”

I didn’t hold anything back— I told Toto everything about what happened between me, Iris, and Dante. And when I was done I witnessed Toto’s face transforming into a red flaring mess of rage. With a roar, the female dwarf slammed her fist against the wall, making a huge crack.

“I can’t believe Iris!” Toto shouted. “I thought she was a kind girl! But having sex with another man behind your back— argh! Who the hell does she think she is!?”

I sighed and immediately replied, “It doesn’t matter anymore. It’s done now…”

“How can you say that!?”

Toto stomped over to me and yelled in the face.

“How can you let her and that bastard Dante get away with this!?…No! I’m letting them get away with this! I’m gonna find them and give those two a piece of my mind!”

“Huh? W-wait, don’t Toto!” I called out of the female dwarf desperately. “It’s only going to make things worse!”

But Toto didn’t listen to my words as she walked over to the door and opened it. Instantly coming into view, holding her fist up to knock on the door was Iris herself, holding a bouquet.

“H-huh?”

Surprised that the door suddenly opened she glanced around to see the confused me and looked down to see a fuming Toto.

“You bitch!”

Toto didn’t even hesitate to let her mind speak. Iris was hit with whiplash after being suddenly cursed at.

“E-excuse me?”

“You cheated on Baxter!” Toto yelled. “How the hell can you sleep at night knowing you turned your back on someone who loved you unconditionally!? Did you ever stop to think about how Baxter would feel— you selfish slut!”

Iris’s cheeks flushed in shame and embarrassment as she tried to avert her gaze away from Toto.

“I…I didn’t want to hurt Baxter…”

“But you did! You hurt him! You threw him away as if he was a half-eaten sandwich! And now you have the audacity to come over here with some flowers!? You think that will earn you forgiveness!? Screw you!”

“…Baxter is my childhood friend. I still care about him. You can’t stop me from coming to see him…”

“Why you—“

“TOTO!”

I screamed as loud as I could, gaining the attention of the two ladies.

“I appreciate you standing up for me…but let her talk to me.”

“Baxter! You don’t have to—“

“It’s fine. I’ll give her at least two minutes to say what she has to say. After that…”

I stared at Iris with an intense glare full of hatred.

“I want you gone.”

Iris lowered her head but still walked into the room. She placed the flowers on the counter next to me and started talking.

“Baxter…I understand why you don’t want to talk to me after what happened. But I want you to know that despite us no longer being in a romantic relationship, you still hold a special place in my heart! And because of that…I can’t stand seeing you like this!”

“What are you talking about?”

“It’s only getting to get worse from here! I’m afraid that you will be killed! So that’s why…”

Iris went into her pocket and took out a folded piece of paper. She softly placed it onto my lap. I opened it to see some sort of contract with big paragraphs and a small word font that was hard to read with squinting. But the title at the top of the paper was the easiest to read due to its size boldness:

ELENDRIA WITHDRAWAL LETTER

“This…this is a withdrawal letter.”

Iris nodded.

“I want you…to give up on being a Holy Knight, Baxter. Leave this school.”

“IRIS BRIMSTONE!”

Toto howled in Iris’s direction.

“WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!? YOU SAY YOU CARE ABOUT BAXTER— BUT YOU WANT HIM TO DROP OUT!?”

Iris turned to Toto with anger written all over her face.

“You know as well as I that Baxter needs to drop out! He’s a Null and he can’t keep up with everyone else!”

“But…”

The moment I spoke everyone stared at me.

“But what am I supposed to be if not a Holy Knight…?”

I questioned in a weak voice. I was so hurt that Iris was telling me to give up, but the scarlet hair still continued to relentlessly tear down my pride.

“Anything! You can be anything other than a Holy Knight, Baxter! You could be a shopkeeper like your mother, a merchant like your father, a cook, a librarian, a teacher, a politician, an actor—anything as long as it doesn’t involve fighting or magic!”

“…you…I had no clue your faith in me was so low…”

“BAXTER! GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS AND LOOK AT REALITY!”

I slightly cowered as Iris roared in my face. Her eyes shined with intensity as she screamed in a fit of passionate anger.

“YOU WILL NEVER BECOME A HOLY KNIGHT! YOU'RE NOT STRONG ENOUGH TO KEEP UP WITH ANYONE HERE AND EVEN IF YOU DID MANAGE TO GRADUATE, ELEIWETH WOULD NEVER ACCEPT A FORSAKEN AS A HOLY KNIGHT! YOU WILL BE REJECTED AND OUTCASTED!”

Heavy breaths followed after Iris’s stop her loud rant. She then continued after a second with a more quieter voice, as small tears escaped her eyes.

“Avoid this shame and unnecessary pain to become something bigger than yourself. I know it was our dream to be Holy Knights together…but that was a dream. A dream when we were kids. We are grown-ups now and we must face the truth. You know I’m right Baxter. Please…go home.”

I glanced down at the withdrawal letter and back at Iris. Two seconds later, I ripped the letter into pieces.

“B-Baxter!?”

“If this is all you came to say then get the FUCK OUT!”

I howled so loud that I swore the room shook. I flashed dangerously at Iris who was now backing away from the enraged me.

“I gave you this moment to talk because of our past, but let me tell you this…I will never give up on my dream! Even if the whole world goes against me I will never give up on it!”

“Baxter—“

“It has always been my desire to be a Holy Knight even before I met you! I don’t care if you no longer want to be Holy Knight with me— you made that choice yourself! But this is the path and life that I chose! I WILL become a HERO!!”

I aimed my index finger at the scarlet-haired woman.

“And let me say this to you…you didn’t just break my heart…you incinerated it! There’s not even a piece of it left for you. I want absolutely nothing to do with you, Iris Brimstone…”

Those were my last words and silence followed after. Iris said no more and stomped out of the nursery without even giving me a second glance. Toto yelled at Iris as she left but I was too exhausted to even hear what the dwarf said. I laid back down and started to cry, there was nothing else to do but let out my emotions as if a dam broke.

Two days later, I was discharged and summer vacation began.