The Will to Live

WARNING: this chapter has loss, and can be heavy for those who are sensitive. Reader caution is advised. That said, there are hopeful tones presented both in this chapter and some later chapters to help offset.

Bard once again found himself helping Kai unload. Another three days had passed, and their food was gone. If they didn’t find something today, the death count would soar. They were down about a third, and despite that the people still remained kind. He counted it a blessing that those who had come were so patient, though it likely stemmed from suffering under Holger and his people. He was grateful none of them had decided to come.

As Sen prepared to leave, Kai stood up and began looking anxious. It wasn’t the movements he did when finding shades, and it didn’t seem like it was the warring tribes. Those were still a few days out at least. He looked out in the direction that Kai did, but couldn’t see anything. He then forced his fatigued and starving body up onto Kai’s back and froze as he looked out.

“Elvira!” Bard shouted. He blinked a few times, it had to be his imagination. Kai’s ears moved, and he looked happily at him. Kai saw them too, a herd that had gotten stranded in the storms. All Bard could feel was relief.

Elvira came over in haste and he conveyed the news. Those close by nearly fell to their feet in gratitude, and the men started to come over. With this many mouths to feed, even if they were fortunate, he doubted Sen and Kai would be able to get enough.

However, some of the men grabbed their tools and weapons they had brought. Ruegar also came over with riffle in hand. He was guiding his horse and Sen eagerly came over.

Within moments, they had organized a group of men who were still capable of moving to hunt down the herd. Bard stayed back, sliding off Kai so he could join. Sen argued about having her and Kai move to spook the herd towards them, making it easier to hunt. Ruegar argued to have them pass nearby but not directly at them as they could become injured from the beasts in their frenzy. Once plans were laid out, the men went out on horses guided by Sen and Kai.

After an hour, they returned with a huge catch. Fourteen of the large creatures were dragged back, and the men shouted their triumph. The women and children who were famished weakly offered their joys, while those not too starved came and began to carve the meat. Elvira helped too.

Knowing they still had a ways to go, and despite the gnawing hunger, they froze and dried a good portion. Only taking a bit of it to eat tonight. Bard was impressed at their self-restraint. The only issue was appeasing the children who cried, asking for more. Bard, along with some of the men, couldn’t bear to hear their cries and shared their meals with the kids.

As Bard approached one of the older boys, he denied the food.

“Please chief. Give it to mom,” he said as he looked back at her. She shook her head and then coughed. Bard’s eyes became soft as he saw her complexion. She was looking a bit thin, but her eyes showed the kind of fatigue he had seen over and over the past few days. The kind that occurred before one passed away. She was barely hanging on. Bard looked once at her and then the young man. He found it admirable the boy thought of his mother, and he moved to offer her the food. Again she shook her head.

“You can tell, can’t ye? I’m not long for this world,” she managed to rasp between breaths. “Give it to me, son. Please,” she pled. Bard looked at the boy, who had tears staining his cheeks. He moved closer and grabbed his mother’s hand.

“You need to eat, mom,” he begged. “We finally got food, so please!”

She shook her head.

Bard watched on, not sure what to do. While it was true they had secured a bit of food, it was like she was killing herself to ensure that her son made it.

“Where’s…” he began to mutter as he looked around. Where was the father? The boy ran away after his mother yelled at him. She smiled wanly and motioned for Bard to follow. He placed the bowl of soup beside her, and she shook her head.

“I can hear him. Me husband is waitin for me. Please, chief, look after him. He is a good boy and there be a girl he likes with us, so I want him to be able to find happiness,” she said, pushing the bowl back towards him. Bard bit his lip.

“Happiness won’t come easy without you there,” he said softly.

“I know. But 'tis better this way,” she said. Bard stiffened at her words. So similar, but a bit different. He shook his head as he recalled his mother’s last words. He stayed by her, and she looked helplessly at him. He pushed the bowl towards her again.

“Eat up. Even if it becomes your last, then try to live. I lost my mother who tried to protect me, and I know what pains this will put him through. Especially if you don’t try.”

She looked at him in surprise, then looked down with gritted teeth. Bard rose, and she looked briefly at him before he walked away. He found the boy outside, huddled near a fire. He walked over, feet crunching on the snow. When he looked up and didn’t see the bowl of soup, he looked relieved. Bard walked past and scraped the bottom of the pot, he then brought that over and handed it to the boy.

“Try not to make your mother worry so much,” he said as he gave it. The boy looked surprised and hesitantly accepted the meager serving. As Bard saw him take a bite, he left and returned to Kai, hungry. He didn’t feel like talking much with Sen before sleeping. The emotional strain along with the want for food left him overwhelmed and tired.

In the morning, Sen woke him with a warm bowl against his cheek. As he grabbed it, he saw a few bodies being prepared for burial. None seemed to be the size of the boy or his mother, so he hoped they had made it to today. Though, he didn’t exactly look very much as he worried about it.

“They’re fine, and you need to eat too,” Sen said as she placed the bowl in his hands. “Honestly, if I had known you had been giving your rations away…” she grumbled, switching to Asternum, so the others wouldn’t understand. Bard vaguely spooned up some of the food. The warmth was welcoming, as was the food. Sen looked at him and smiled before eating into her own food.

With the added food and less people, a few of the pole-sleds were changed to carry supplies once again. Kai was ladened with quite a bit of the food this time, which was tempting and amusing to watch him as he walked dutifully at the front.

However, now that food had become the smallest concern, the cold became the biggest factor. While the sunstones were helping alleviate it, they were woefully inadequate against the dropping temperatures. More passed, till nearly half of those who had begun the journey had died. Bard hated that he was growing accustomed to hearing the cries of those mourning. More graves were dug, though the light at the end of this was that fewer and fewer were dying now.

What broke his heart, was playing the song for the boy’s mother, who, despite her best efforts, was unable to shake off her illness. Seeing the boy alone, without father and mother, had caused him to walk with him during their trek. The night didn’t offer any relief, as the shades became abundant as they traveled.

As they came closer to Elder Perspective’s woods, Bard had the boy join Elvira and Ruegar as he knew he would be busy, and the boy needed someone who could stick around longer than him and Sen could.

As they came within a few days of her forest, Bard instructed the survivors on what to expect. The fact that no Dryads lived in her woods, helped to alleviate their fears.

Sen promised to move the trees into basic structures for the people to live in while they fetched her people, which brought much relief. It helped to encourage the folks to pick up the pace, as a roof more solid than fabric was a welcome thought.