Let's party like a Girly.

Grace follows the other girls. she was mostly reading their movements. Alice was livid, loud, and extremely emotional. she would cry easily. she would then be laughing out of nowhere. she couldn't stop smiling. she was like a broken machine exploding with positive emotions.

on the other side Brenda was more timid. she was more silent. she wasn't a person to express her emotions loudly. she would just make a small gesture and then be done with it. she was mostly immune to facial expressions. it was rare for her to smile. 

then there was another girl. Hanna. she was a girl who easily smiles in any circumstances. she is a girl of few words. she invests her time in the phone sending messages to cute boys. she talks with plenty of boys, but she doesn't compromise to a real relationship afraid of getting hurt or hurting the other party. 

it was hard for Grace to socialize with those especial girls. she was fine with anything they do. when they decided to go to a cafe to buy sweets and coffee. it was all a new experience to her. Grace never made friends. she didn't know about candy or sweets. it was all new to her. she felt like those moments with those girls are important. too special in her cold heart.

then came a question as old as time itself. a question she didn't wanted to answer to herself. she knows that at least one of those girls will be dead once she returns. but there is no one to say that the other two girls aren't in danger just by being her friends. she is a menace to them. she should keep her distance from them. but she can't. Grace loves this new lifestyle.

in the cafe Grace tried all kinds of cakes. she was as excited as a small child. there was so much light in her eyes. Grace couldn't be any happier. 

after that moment all four girls went shopping. they entered in a shopping center. in there they explored around all kinds of stores. they had fun looking around the gift shop. the store of Christmas decorations was something else. the multiple stores selling sweets were quite fun. there is the mandatory stop at clothing stores. they needed the right change of clothes for the school trip that is coming up. it was all fun and laughter.

Grace walks by herself for some time until she finds herself in front of the bookstore. she gets inside and looks around. she didn't expect to find Bernard in the same store. they are both holding a different kind of book. the title of his book of choice was, "CBT me please, pegged me to death with love." the book of her choice was, "101 ways to train your loyal dog." that was quite the awkward moment for both. they both look away feeling shy.

"It is not what it looks like, it isn't me. I am not like that. I can swear on the tomb of my pretty much alive grandma." that is what he said.

"I see. so that is what pets are into these days. I don't judge. not at all. it isn't like I have anything against masochist boys. to each their own." said Grace blushing.

"It isn't like I read this shit. no, it is for the friend of a friend." said the man who is sweating bullets with an unfocused sight.

"Hey, Frank, the kid who loves reading fiction with guys getting the tentacles ending is back. didn't he read a whole series of 41 volumes of a masochist boy and his abusive girl." said one of the employees at the library.

"It looks to me like he knows you. do you want me to ignore his loud voice?" said Grace pointing out the obvious with malice.

"They can be talking about any other guy who 'happens' to pick up the wrong title because a friend asked them to pick it up for them." said the boy facing existential crisis.

"Hey, Frank, he is talking to a pretty girl for once." said the same employee.

"Fuck it. let's agree that today never happened." said Bernard dying of embarrassment. 

Grace laughs for a second. she then says goodbye as she reunites with her small friend group. they kept going to other places enjoying their day. it was bright and fun for sure. nothing could go wrong in a day like that.

the next and final stop was karaoke. Grace was sweating nervously as she was witness of the professional and phenomenal talent the other girls showed while singing. Grace was never one to sing in front of others. it was all too new to her. she knew that her time was to come. but she didn't even know a single song by name. it was all too difficult.

Brenda approaches her. she tells her that it's alright to make a mistake or two. Grace confesses about her lack of talent or knowledge about songs. Brenda laughs. she lets her know that it doesn't matter if she sucks or is a goddess singing. it is all about having fun.

Grace learned a new word. fun was a word she had heard about before. but not one to be part of the dictionary of her daily life. there was no fun in the horrors she had to experience or witness firsthand. her original timeline is void of fun. there is no fun under a dictatorship.

a tear falls from Grace's eyes. she stands up. she grabs the microphone proudly. she starts to sing her lungs out. there are many parts in which she was off. words she mistook by others. moments in which she was singing fast when it was supposed to be a slow part. once she was done singing and out of breath. the other girls clap. Grace smiles feeling proud of herself.

that was a memorable moment. one to never forget. the other girls keep singing. one of them was into older classic romantic songs. another girl was into anime songs. and the other girl was into Brazilian songs that nobody understood but they loved it because it sounds fun.

Grace starts to smile and laugh naturally. for once she didn't feel the need to fake an emotion or a facial gesture. for once she didn't look robotic. her face didn't appear to be made of plastic with calculated movements. for one single day she was a normal teenage girl having fun with her friends and celebrating a birthday. 

"It is fun. right?" said Brenda smiling.

"Yes. I am having so much fun. I like it." said Grace confuse by those new emotions.

"I don't know how your life has been so far. but from now on we are friends. so, I hope you can trust us with anything. we are here for you." said Brenda.

the day was done. the celebration was over. Grace had to return to her home. she needs to get ready for another day of struggle. the memory of today won't be more than another memory. she doesn't have the luxury of wasting time. she was trained to kill and not waste time around. 

once she opens the door. she is faced with strangers she has met these past few days. strangers who pretend to know each other. any one of them could be the traitor. any one of them could be a danger to the operation. there is no safety in her life. not even outside of the battlefield is she safe nor feels safe. that is the kind of life she was given to live.

"Don't forget who you are agent. don't forget what we came to do agent."

those are words she takes personal. she knows what she is. what she does. but even after all this time it is so suffocating to keep hearing those words. she nods. then Grace goes to her empty white room. she lies down on her bed. she falls asleep almost right away. she has some intense nightmares like any other night.